What Happens in France

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What Happens in France Page 19

by What Happens in France (retail) (epub)


  ‘Looks fun, doesn’t it?’ said Deepan. ‘Might bring the kids here one day. They’d love it.’

  ‘You have children?’

  ‘Four. Two sets of twins. Lucky, eh? They’re four and six. This would be right up their street.’ His eyes sparkled as another carriage, this time with a painted duck on its front tore down the track and disappeared again.

  ‘There are no passengers,’ Bryony commented.

  ‘They’re probably just testing it out before they let anyone on it – safety checks and whatnot.’

  ‘Not sure I’d enjoy it.’

  ‘You never been on one?’ Deepan asked.

  ‘Never been to an amusement park,’ Bryony replied, grateful that Laura and the others were approaching. She didn’t want to have to explain about her childhood.

  ‘The challenge will take place just over there.’ Laura pointed to an enormous brightly coloured inflatable fort. Potts was waiting for them, a set of cards in his hands, rehearsing his words to no one in particular. ‘So, if you could go and join the Prof by the entrance, we’ll get the cameras rolling. Everyone ready? Energy people… energy.’

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  WEDNESDAY, 26 JULY

  Stood beside what could only be described as an inflatable assault course, consisting of artificial rocks, trees and a number of structures to navigate and cross, Professor Potts was dressed in a polo shirt the same colour blue as his eyes. He faced the camera.

  ‘We still not ready to do this yet?’ he asked a lean-faced man. ‘Come on, folks. I’ve been here since eight.’

  There was a flurry of activity then somebody called, ‘Rolling.’

  ‘It’s Wednesday, the middle of the week, and day three of What Happens in … France. You join us outside Nantes at a fabulous amusement park which has seen thousands of families through its doors since it opened way back in 1971. The Parc des Naudières has so much to offer, and you’d be crazy to miss out on it if you pass through this wonderful region. We’ve mixed things up a little for our hopefuls today and each team member will have to pull their weight if they’re going to win the challenge we’ve got planned for them. Brute force will not be enough to get through, nor will smart knowledge. This time we’ve devised a dastardly test for both members of each team.’

  He pointed towards the quintet consisting of Bryony, Jim, Nicola, Mira and Hugh.

  ‘These are our spotters. They’ll be given a photograph and using their powers of observation, they’ll determine what is odd about the picture. Once they identify what it is, they must write it down on the notepad they’ve been given, then tag their teammate who can begin their challenge.’

  He held up a hand to halt proceedings. ‘Honestly, guys, can we please keep the damn children out of the way. I know this is an amusement park for families but we’re trying to shoot a show here.’ The two children who’d strayed close to the filming, along with their parents, were ushered gently away and Potts resumed his monologue.

  ‘The second part of the task requires the other team member to complete a series of challenges on these fabulous fun inflatables,’ he said, indicating the giant structures and the other five team members on a huge bouncy castle. ‘The first game is called touchdown. As you can see, each participant is attached to the wall of the bouncing deck by a stretchy cord. The idea of the game is for the contestants to touch the circles on the floor with the rugby ball they’re holding. There are three circles in total, each a foot from the last, and participants must touch each circle once with their ball. All the while, they’ll be restrained by their cord. They’ll gain a point for each circle touched. At the end of the round the spotter must tell us what they thought was peculiar about the picture. If they get it wrong, they’ll lose all their teammate’s points. Once we’ve completed this round, we’ll move onto round two and repeat it with different pictures and a new course. Contestants, you only have five minutes to complete this challenge. Are you ready?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘I can’t hear you. Are you ready?’

  ‘Yes.’ The reply was louder this time.

  ‘Then trois… deux…un…’ A klaxon sounded and the game began. Bryony, Jim, Mira and Hugh all studied their first photograph. Bryony was quick off the mark to scrawl an answer, scamper across to castle wall and tag Lewis who inhaled deeply and surged forward, rugby ball in hand as if he were about to score a try in an international match. His efforts were thwarted as with each stride, he bounced higher and higher until the cord yanked him backwards and he landed on his backside.

  ‘Oh dear, it seems Bryony’s partner has taken a tumble at the first attempt,’ said Potts.

  ‘Go on, Lewis! Go, Lewis!’ yelled Bryony who’d now returned to her original position. She didn’t want Potts to get any satisfaction from seeing Lewis fail.

  Lewis picked himself up and powered forwards again, this time reaching out and forcing his ball onto the first circle.

  ‘After a weak start, Lewis has managed to score his first touchdown,’ said Potts, commentating on the game in an amused voice. ‘And, what’s this? Jim has the answer and is tagging his teammate, Oscar.’

  Oscar gave a low growl, bent his knees and charged ahead only to be yanked back immediately.

  ‘Oh dear, I think he’ll have to try a little harder if he wants to score.’

  Potts’s sarcastic tone was irritating Bryony. ‘Go on, Oscar,’ she called.

  ‘And Oscar has acquired a cheerleader from a rival team,’ Potts added smugly. Bryony ignored him.

  Lewis was ahead of Oscar, attempting to hit the second target but was yanked backwards, sent flying upside down and ended up flat on his back, chest rising and falling as he gulped in air.

  Potts barked a loud laugh. ‘It appears Lewis is trying to reach his target using back crawl. Might need to rethink that method, Lewis.’

  ‘Lewis. Think catwalk,’ Bryony shouted.

  Potts gave her a curious look but quickly readopted his host-like expression as Donald suddenly took off and charged like a bull down the bouncy track. ‘Look at Donald go. And, yes! Donald scores his first touchdown!’ he shouted excitedly.

  Lewis had heard Bryony. He stood up on wobbly legs and, squaring his shoulders, ran full pelt towards his second circle and smashed the ball onto it.

  ‘Second touchdown for Lewis,’ said Potts. ‘Although I don’t think he’s any energy left for the third one… and Oscar has made his first touchdown… and here comes Donald again. My goodness, I’d hate to be in a scrum with this man.’

  Donald, with ball in outstretched hands pulled hard against the ever-stretching cord. The muscles in his neck stood out as he strained against it and steadily planted one foot at a time. He leaned forward, grimacing as he did so. He was losing his grip and being hauled back little by little. He gritted his teeth and let out a might roar, reached out with his arm and tapped the ball against the second circle. The horn sounded, signalling the end of the game. The three men, now slumped against the inflatable wall let out exhausted breaths. Potts summed up the situation.

  ‘Unfortunately, two teams have scored no points, having not got off the starting line. Bad luck folks, but don’t worry, this is only the first round. Oscar has won one point and Donald and Lewis both have two. Now it’s down to the spotters. If they were accurate and noticed the anomaly in the photograph, their fellow contestants can keep their points.

  ‘The contestants were given this photograph of a lovely French chapel, not too far from where we are, called chapelle de Bethléem, or as we’d know it, the Bethlehem Chapel. Spotters, please turn over your pads and tell us what was uncharacteristic about this picture.’

  Jim, Bryony and Nicola revealed their notepads to the camera. Potts tilted his head this way and that.

  ‘Jim you noticed “unusual gargoyles that aren’t typical representation of chimeras but are from American films”. Bryony you’ve written, “Two of the gargoyles are from the film Gremlins: one an evil gremlin, the other Gizmo.” Both answers are
correct. The chapel was renovated in the nineties when a local stone cutter, supported by the town, decided to base the replacement gargoyles on popular creatures from films – Gremlins and Alien, television and Japanese animation. Nicola did you get that answer?’

  Nicola hugged the notepad to her chest, eyes damp with unfallen tears. She shook her head and slowly turned the notepad towards him. She’d written The front door is too small to walk through. ‘It looked so tiny on the photograph compared to the shuttered windows,’ she stuttered. A tear escaped and trickled down her face. Potts spoke kindly, ‘Never mind, Nicola. I’m sure Donald won’t mind… too much.’ He threw Donald a toothy smile.

  ‘Cut!’

  ‘Oh, Nicola, don’t take it to heart,’ said Bryony. ‘There are another two rounds. Just brush it off. The other teams didn’t win any points either. Focus on the next photo. That one was really tricky. You needed to be into films to get what it was about.’

  Nicola sniffed. ‘Yeah. You’re right. I just felt so bad for Donald especially after he did so well.’

  ‘He’ll get over it. He doesn’t even look puffed out. Lewis, on the other hand, looks like he might stay there for the duration of the game or at some point require mouth-to-mouth.’ She glanced at her teammate, who’d managed to sit up but had yet to achieve an upright position. The game might have looked amusing to those watching, but it had drained the participants. Heaven knew what state he’d be in by the evening if the next round was as gruelling.

  Donald hauled Lewis to his feet and helped unhitch him, then both assisted Oscar. As they clambered off the inflatable, Laura arrived to issue them with new instructions. She pointed at the crew who were moving across to what looked like a giant inflatable rodeo bull. Bryony rolled her eyes. It was going to be a long day.

  * * *

  Donald, Nicola, Oscar, Jim, Bryony and Lewis all clustered in the library at Hotel Petit Château. Thanks to retakes and a problem with one of the cameras, they’d spent most of the day at the amusement park.

  The games had been demanding and taken their toll on those who’d participated in the physical challenges. There’d been no time to discuss the outcome or the events of the day in their room, and a weary Lewis had tumbled into the shower then dozed off on the bed for half an hour until Bryony had gently woken him for the evening live performance at eight o’clock. The results of the last game of the day had been withheld. Nobody knew how many points had been scored during a ridiculous assault course that had required the participants to scramble over inflatable hills and objects in search of large red, white and blue feathers. The finale had been a difficult clamber up inflatable steps onto a huge bouncy slide. It had been a tight contest with all the men jostling for space that had led to a collision between Donald and Oscar, and had resulted in Deepan winning. Now it all hinged on their teammates, the spotters, and whether or not they’d accurately worked out what was wrong about the photograph of a French motorway they’d been given.

  Laura was remaining tight-lipped about the results. Oscar had attempted to prise them out of her to no avail. She was now focused on the television set, waiting to cue in the contestants as Potts spoke to them through the medium of the screen.

  Potts, in white trousers and a lemon shirt that showed off his tanned face was commentating on the day’s events that had already been broadcast to the nation. ‘It’s Wednesday evening and the third day of What Happens in…, the phenomenon that’s been gripping the nation. Yes, over four million of you tuned in yesterday to discover what happened here in France. Thank you all.

  ‘Now, I have four very nervous contestants standing beside me here in Grand Maison Bretagne, all dying to find out who will spend another night in luxury and take on a new challenge tomorrow, and who’ll be hitching a ride back home on the overnight ferry.’ He flashed his teeth briefly before continuing. ‘Well, you didn’t have the greatest start in today’s challenge, but Deepan and Mira, you… will… be staying.’ Deepan held up two thumbs. ‘Over in the library at Hotel Petit Château, we have six participants all equally concerned about the results. Oscar and Jim. Well done. You are… staying. Bryony and Lewis. Congratulations. You will also be staying another night. No need to pack your suitcase just yet. Now then… Hugh and Terri and Donald and Nicola. I’m sure you are all eager to know the results.’ He heaved a dramatic sigh as if it were almost too painful to continue, his face now doleful. ‘You put up a truly magnificent performance today and nobody will be able to forget the sight of Donald and Oscar entangled on the slide… However, I’m sad to say, Terri and Hugh here with me…’ he indicated the men with matching beards before looking immediately back at the screen, ‘And Donald and Nicola there, in Hotel Petit Château, you will all be leaving tonight. It’s time to pack your bags and say goodbye.’

  Nicola’s mouth dropped open. She shouted at the screen. ‘We did well in the last round. Donald came first. That can’t be right.’

  Donald added his voice. ‘There’s been some mistake.’

  Potts gave a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes and ignoring the outburst snapped back to presenter mode. ‘What a dramatic turn of events. Four contestants leaving today. Who’d have expected that? Coming up after the break, we’ll reveal the results of today’s activities and discover who was the yellow jersey winner and who took away the wooden spoon.’

  The television screen cut away to show highlights of the day and Donald hauling his frame over a giant toadstool. He was still complaining about the result. Laura had hastened across to them and was speaking in hushed tones to the fuming couple. Bryony looked back at the screen.

  ‘And Potts, that last sentence didn’t even make any sense,’ shouted Donald as he strode from his chair towards the door. ‘Yellow jerseys and wooden spoons. You’re an idiot. A useless presenter who keeps screwing things up and the show is a fix.’ Laura walked outside to join him.

  Nicola burst into tears, shoulders shaking. Bryony stood up and hugged her. ‘Don’t cry. It’s only a game.’

  ‘Donald’s so angry.’

  ‘He’ll calm down. Laura will speak sense to him. He’s annoyed, yes, but he’ll recover and remember the fun parts. At least you didn’t go out first round and have had some fun.’

  Nicola nodded and sniffed back her tears. ‘Yes. It’s been a laugh.’

  ‘We’ll come and say goodbye before you leave the château,’ Bryony whispered before Nicola was escorted from the room by a technician. Laura re-entered the library.

  ‘Donald’s fine. Just a bit upset. I explained why they’re leaving. Right, we’re going live again in a minute so places people.’

  Potts returned on screen. He wore a doleful expression.

  ‘What an absolute shocker of a day here on What Happens in… Not one but two teams are out of the show and on their way back home. How could this have happened? The answer is simple. Unfortunately, Nicola and Hugh who were the spotters, didn’t work out the correct anomaly on their photographs and as a consequence, our losing teams drew with zero points each. The producers took the tough but fair decision to eliminate both teams, leaving us with only three remaining pairs in the running.’

  He gave a shake that rearranged his features and beamed once more at the camera. ‘I’m sure all of you at home are dying to find out who won overall today, and I can now reveal that up until the last round, Deepan and Mira had four points, while Oscar and Jim, and Bryony and Lewis, had five points. Once again, it’s down to the spotters. Did they identify the deliberate mistake on our photograph? Here it is for viewers at home. It’s a picture taken on the Bordeaux to Nantes motorway. Looks normal enough, doesn’t it? Vehicles, speed restrictions signs, overhead signage. What was weird about this picture? The answer is one of the cars is a right-hand drive vehicle. The number plate on the Renault overtaking the lorry is French but the steering wheel is on the wrong side of the car for roads in France. Did our teams get it correct?’ Mira lowered her gaze as Potts turned towards her.

  ‘Mira you th
ought the mistake was in the speed restriction sign. Unfortunately, you were wrong and therefore we have to deduct the two points Deepan won in the last game, bringing your final score for today down to two. Let’s cross to Hotel Petit Château and see how the other teams faired.’

  Bryony didn’t look up at the screen even though it now showed the four of them sitting in the library. If Jim and Oscar won, she wouldn’t get the chance to talk about Hannah again.

  ‘Oscar, do you think Jim got it right?’

  ‘Absolutely. I have faith in him.’ Oscar beamed at Jim who gave a small shake of his head.

  ‘Regrettably, on this occasion, Jim didn’t get it right. He thought the mistake was to do with road markings. That means you lost the point you gained in the last round, dropping your final score from five to four.’

  Oscar gave a light shrug. ‘It’s no big deal,’ he whispered to his teammate.

  ‘Congratulations, Bryony. You spied the error and therefore that makes you and Lewis today’s winners. Thank you to all our contestants and all our wonderful viewers at home. Who will stay and who will go? Will Jim and Oscar beat tomorrow’s challenges or fall at the last hurdle? Will Mira and Deepan race ahead, or will Bryony and Lewis hold onto the winner’s jersey for two days in a row? Tune in tomorrow for day four of What Happens in…’

  Laura gave Bryony a wide smile. ‘Here’s your chance, again,’ she said. ‘Go spread the word.’

  ‘What word is that?’ asked Oscar.

  ‘Bryony’s trying to win each round so she gets a few minutes in front of the camera to tell everyone about her missing sister,’ said Laura. ‘With over four million viewers now watching, I hope one of them knows where she is.’

  ‘Of course. I remember you said so at the audition,’ Oscar said. ‘Tell me afterwards. I want to know more about it.’

  Laura steered the men away, leaving Bryony and Lewis to face the television screen and tell them why it was so important for them to stay on the show.

 

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