‘What’s that?’ she asked tentatively.
‘This,’ he murmured, wrapping his arms around her body gently, drawing her face towards his own and then pressing his lips against hers with a passion and urgency that made her heart soar.
* * *
Lewis rapped on Bryony’s bathroom door and called, ‘Taxi will be here at three o’clock which give us loads of time to reach the television studio before five. Oscar’s on the phone. He wants to know if we’d like to join him for dinner at a Japanese restaurant on Broad Street after we’ve done the show. He raves about the place. It’s very trendy. Fancy going?’
Bryony, naked in front of the bathroom mirror, was towel-drying her hair. ‘Great. Let’s do it.’
‘Bryony says yes, mate. See you later. Look forward to it.’
Bryony emerged from the bathroom, her tousled locks framing her face and cascading over her shoulders.
Lewis crossed his arms and whistled. ‘You going to do the chat show like that?’ he asked.
Bryony put her hands on her hips. ‘It’s a new look I’m perfecting. I’m calling it the Lady Godiva look.’
‘I’m calling it the “duvet” look.’
‘Why?’
‘Because it makes me want to drag you back to bed and smother you with my lips,’ he answered, pouncing in her direction.
She shrieked playfully and attempted to scurry away but found herself enveloped in his arms. She breathed in his scent and willingly tilted her head towards his.
‘I love all this,’ he said as they lay together on the rumpled sheets. ‘A beautiful day, and a beautiful woman by my side. I consider myself very fortunate. Oscar and Jim might have won the money on What Happens in… but I got the first prize.’ He kissed her again.
CHAPTER FORTY FOUR
MONDAY, 31 JULY – EVENING
Glowing lanterns hung from the wooden pagoda bar in the sushi restaurant while the clean angles of the tables were softened with little touches from Japanese fans, duck-egg-blue crockery, bamboo blinds and a giant print of a Japanese fir forest. There were kitsch touches too – a half-hidden, life-size Kendo warrior among other quirks – that all added to the charm of the thirty-seat restaurant.
Bryony and Lewis kicked off their shoes to take a seat at one of the low-lying zataku tables and were immediately joined by an exuberant Oscar.
He shrugged off a light jumper draped over his shoulders and appraised them both, noting the fact they were holding hands. ‘Well, don’t you look the perfect couple? I so hoped you’d get together properly. It was obvious you were mad about each other while we were in France. All that sexual chemistry bubbling every time you were together. Even Jim noticed it and asked if you were “courting”. Pity he couldn’t join us after the interview.’
A small figure in a bright yellow jumper and matching beret edged closer to Oscar and plopped down next to his feet.
‘Biggie, you look like a small sunflower,’ said Lewis.
Oscar laughed. ‘The outfit’s from a fan. Biggie has gained even more notoriety since his appearances in France. His fans have sent loads of outfits and as for messages from female dogs! It’s bonkers. I can’t keep up with all the interest in him. He’ll be demanding his own television show next. I thought being on What Happens in… would raise my profile not his.’ He laughed good-naturedly.
‘He was well-behaved during the chat show,’ said Bryony.
‘That was because he was completely worn out. I took him to the park earlier and he chased after ducks for an hour until he exhausted himself.’ He seized the menu, glanced at it and said, ‘I recommend everything on the menu but I especially like the miso soup as a starter because it isn’t too filling followed by a mixed sashimi. That was fun, wasn’t it?’ He was referring to the chat show. It had been an intense hour of questions from a genial host and a live audience. Bryony had been asked over and over about Hannah and felt she’d finally done as much as she could. It was now up to the universe. If Hannah was out there she must have heard about Bryony by now.
‘It was really good. Lovely to see Jim looking so happy,’ said Bryony.
‘It really was. Cathy’s already chosen a top hotel for them to stay at by the sea. They’re taking the grandchildren too. Jim’s over the moon about it all.’
The chef interrupted them to serve beer and lead them in a clink and toast in Japanese before declaring, ‘Your soup is arriving,’ as a little train snaked around the bar counter, trucking three bowls of miso behind it. Bryony almost wanted to applaud its entrance.
‘It was huge fun but I suppose it’s back to normality again now, isn’t it? Shame, I’ve really enjoyed all the attention,’ said Oscar.
‘You still get that when you perform.’
‘Oh sure, it’s not quite the same though. That game show was intense. I couldn’t believe how popular it was. Even Mom and Pop watched the YouTube clips. Some of them were hilarious. My favourite one is when Donald and I collided on the bouncy slide. It wasn’t funny at the time but oh my, watching it, it was a different ballgame. We resembled a weird, giant octopus – a mishmash of arms and legs and I had no idea I could shriek quite so loudly.’
‘I’ve not watched any of the episodes,’ said Bryony.
‘You haven’t? You must. They’re gold dust. Honest to goodness. I had no idea we were all so comical.’
‘It’d give us something to do later,’ said Lewis, lifting one eyebrow in her direction.
Oscar missed the flirtatious look and continued talking. ‘Oh, I put that photo I took of you and Biggie up on my Instagram page. It’s such a divine picture. He looks like he’s trying so hard to comfort you in it. I mentioned it was of the lovely Bryony who is searching for her sister, of course. It’s had literally thousands of likes. I know you’re still looking but haven’t you had any news at all about her? Surely somebody out there must have seen her or know of her.’
The chef collected the empty bowls and returned with a sashimi starter. They picked up chopsticks and tucked into the food.
‘No. I’ve had hundreds and hundreds of goodwill messages and people who’ve also got stories of missing family members or loved ones but nothing from her or anyone who knows her. I’d pinned my hopes on her seeing the game show. Now, I’m hoping she was watching the chat show we did earlier. There’s so much about it in the press and online and everywhere. She can’t possibly have missed it.’
‘That’s true. What Happens in… is the hottest show on television and millions of people know about you and Hannah. Maybe she doesn’t want to be found,’ said Oscar with a sad smile.
‘I’m beginning to think that too. I’ll keep trying. I’ve updated my blog Searching for Hannah.’
He popped some food in his mouth, chewed and after swallowing said, ‘I love the name Hannah. My Nan on my Mom’s side is a Hannah too. I once bought her a really neat key ring for Christmas. It was one of those that tell you about the origins of the name. Apparently Hannah means favour or grace which suited Nanna perfectly. And all Hannahs are unique, creative individuals who tend to resent authority, and are sometimes stubborn, proud and impatient. Nanna was definitely a lady who wouldn’t listen to anyone, especially Grandpops and he was a law enforcement officer. Does that description fit your sister too?’
‘Some of it,’ said Bryony. ‘She was definitely stubborn and impatient and certainly unique.’
Oscar smiled. ‘I really hope you find her. I’ll keep my fingers firmly crossed for you.’
The evening passed pleasantly with Oscar telling them stories about the other ballet dancers and ballerinas he’d met and about Lucinda, who was joining him soon. They delighted in a main course of teriyaki roll of salmon in a coil of rice, topped with slender slices of avocado, a sprinkling of crispy onion and Japanese mayonnaise before declaring they could eat no more and settling down with some tea.
Bryony felt like she’d known Oscar all her life. He was enchanting and entertaining in equal measures. He had them in fits of laughte
r about his dog’s exploits during a photo shoot and made Bryony splutter tea at some of his impressions of overzealous performers.
The bill paid, they decided to call it a night. Oscar shrugged his sweater over his head and smoothed it over his lithe frame. A taxi pulled up outside and the owner signalled to Oscar.
‘Oh, that’s for me. It’s been wonderful to see you both. We must do this again. Maybe in London next time if you like and I’ll bring Lucinda along. She’s dying to meet you.’ He kissed Bryony on both cheeks and gave Lewis a hug.
‘Okay. Bye-bye, lovebirds. See you soon,’ he chirped as he climbed into the taxi, Biggie in his arms.
Once the taxi pulled away, Lewis dropped a kiss on her head. ‘Don’t be too disappointed if nothing comes of the chat show. You really gave it your best shot. Oscar could be right. Perhaps Hannah doesn’t want to be found.’ He put an arm around her and pulled her into his body.
She sighed deeply, relishing the comforting gesture. This part of her life had turned a corner. She’d found somebody she could trust and love. If only Hannah could be found, then life would be perfect.
CHAPTER FORTY FIVE
THURSDAY, 3 AUGUST – EVENING
With a furrowed brow, Bryony typed the post to be scheduled on Searching for Hannah for the following day – Hannah’s birthday. The blog was still getting in excess of 500 hits a day. The Facebook page had been shared hundreds of times and she was now being followed by thousands of people on Twitter and Instagram but there was still no news of Hannah.
Bryony felt she could do little more. The hopes she harboured were fading, and having spoken to her mother again, she was now anxious because her dad seemed to be fading fast. Time really was running out.
The post was ready for the blog. She uploaded it along with a photograph of them all as a family and one of Hannah blowing out the candles on her sixteenth birthday cake. She wore a flat expression and looked embarrassed by the camera. Bryony thought she looked underwhelmed by it all and wondered if Hannah had felt happy that day.
I once dreamt you were aboard a sumptuous yacht sailing in some exotic location; aquamarine seas sparkled beneath you as you sat on the edge of the boat, your golden hair flowing freely behind you, a smile on your lips. You lifted a crystal flute of champagne to the wind and sipped its gilded contents. The dream was so realistic I believed I could reach out, touch you and talk to you. When I awoke, I was overcome with the sense that my dream had been a sign and that you were alive and deliriously happy. Today, I shall imagine you are on that yacht and I shall raise my glass to you. Happy birthday to my beautiful sister. I wish we could celebrate with you.
Tomorrow she’ll visit her parents. She always goes to see them on this date. Each year they hold a tea party. It is a mockery, celebrating the birthday of someone who is no longer part of their lives, but it has become their ritual and she won’t let them down, especially with her father being so ill. Her mother will be tearful and her father will call her Hannah as he has been doing ever since the stroke. There will be no true celebrations.
* * *
She slipped in between the sheets and snuggled against Lewis. Since his revelation about wanting to be with her, they had not been apart one night. Lewis said he preferred her flat to the rented house and they were considering what their next move should be.
She and Lewis were a good fit. Even though they had only been together a short while, she knew this relationship was going to have a happy ending. It only needed time.
Lewis turned towards her. ‘Hello. What have you been doing? I’ve been here ages waiting for you.’
‘Writing a post for the blog. It’s Hannah’s birthday tomorrow.’
Lewis stretched himself awake. ‘I wonder if she’ll read it.’
‘I’m not so sure anymore.’
He kissed her on the nose. ‘That isn’t like you. Think positive. Anything’s possible if you believe in it.’
‘Is that a line from a film?’
‘Not sure. It sounds as if it might be.’ He chuckled.
She wriggled to get comfortable and Lewis threw his arm around her. She smiled to herself. Her life was changing quickly for the better. If only she could get hold of Hannah… That would be the icing on the birthday cake.
CHAPTER FORTY SIX
FRIDAY, 4 AUGUST – MORNING
‘Are you seeing Melinda today after you’ve been to visit your parents?’
‘No. I’ll come back here and you can cheer me up instead. Melinda’s out all day shopping with her mum.’
Lewis was propped up in bed on one elbow. ‘Pity you have to go.’ He grinned at her wickedly.
‘You have a meeting with the accountants so forget it, Romeo. I’ll put the coffee on while you get showered and we’ll pick up where we left off later,’ she murmured, pressing her lips against his neck.
‘You’re on.’
Bryony strolled down the corridor of her flat. She could hear Lewis humming as he got ready. She smiled to herself. Maxwell was already a distant memory. Bryony had mended that particular hurt. She stooped to pick up a postcard and a large envelope on the doormat. The postcard was of a beach scene from her work colleague, Tim. On it he said the offer was still open. Bryony smiled. She’d ask Lewis if he fancied a few days on the coast and maybe surprise Tim and Suzanne. The large envelope was a puzzle. It had come from Paris but there was no sender address on it. She ripped it open and pulled out a maroon, leather-bound diary. She opened it, read the first few lines and gasped. Flicking through the pages she lighted on a lengthier entry and read...
Dear Diary,
Today was one of those days that you know is going to change everything. After school I headed off to town as usual. Mum was collecting Bryony from school so I said I was going to the library but instead I nicked some sweets from Woolworths and managed to blag I was eighteen and bought a pack of Player’s Number 10. Everyone seems to think butter wouldn’t melt in my mouth. Stealing stuff is a real buzz. Part of me wants to get caught and see the look on my parents’ faces when they find out – it would be such a shock to learn the headmaster’s daughter is a common thief. I ended up by the Mecca Bingo Hall and lit up. It’s one of the few places I can go and not get spotted by someone who knows me. God how I hate being goody-goody Hannah! Some days I want to scream at all the teachers and the neighbours and all the kids at my school. ‘I’m not the perfect schoolgirl you all think I am. I’m normal like you. I want to have friends like you do and do stupid stuff like you do.’ One day my mask will slip and they’ll see the real me. Today I was leaning against the wall thinking about what a shit life I have when a boy came up to me. He was so handsome it was untrue. He had dark black hair and brown eyes with the longest eyelashes I’ve ever seen. He was dressed fashionably in Levi jeans and a turtleneck jumper over which he wore a bigger jumper. He had a cigarette between his lips and asked if I had a light. I fumbled about in my jacket pocket and drew out my disposable lighter. He lit his cigarette and instead of clearing off, joined me leaning against the wall. He spoke after a few puffs. I didn’t know what to say to him so I nodded. I felt all hot and yet excited. He seemed interested in me. He’s so different to Rob who’s just a friend but wants to be more than that. This guy looked and acted grown up, not like Rob who has spots and wears sweatshirts with cartoon characters on them. He gazed into my eyes at one point and I thought my knees were going to give out. I didn’t want him to leave. He told me he’d spied me in the local supermarket trying to steal some sweets. My heart started hammering and I wondered if he was a security guard. I got ready to protest but he smiled, a lazy, handsome smile, and said something like, ‘If you’re going to nick stuff, make it expensive and worthwhile.’ Then he winked at me and walked away. I don’t know if I’ll see him again but I hope so. I’ll go to the same place tomorrow in case he passes by. I’m tingling with excitement. I met someone who knows who I really am and seemed to like me for it. I don’t want to be the Hannah everyone expects me to be and maybe I don
’t have to be. I can’t explain what’s happened but this experience has triggered a switch in my mind. I don’t have to stay and be this person if I don’t want to. I can be who I want to be and be liked for it. I feel different. I feel lighter knowing this. It’s like being free at last.
Bryony turned the pages of the diary quickly, the coffee forgotten. There were more entries. With her ability to speed read, she raced through each neatly handwritten page, searching for the answers that were hidden in them.
Dear Diary,
I feel truly horrible about what’s happened. I’m so angry with my mum. I didn’t want to take Bryony to the park but she insisted. She shouldn’t have made me take her. If she hadn’t, Bryony would be okay. I’m even angrier with myself. I should have looked out for my baby sister. She’s only six and I’m sixteen. My mind was on other things that morning. I just wanted to scream for everyone to leave me alone. Everything’s so messed up in my head. I’ve got exams coming up and Dad keeps going on and on about me getting into university. I haven’t even taken these exams yet, let alone A-levels. I needed space but instead I had to take Bryony to the park and look what’s happened. Bryony’s seriously injured. She may even die. Oh God! Please don’t let her die. I can’t think about anything other than leaving now. I don’t care where I go. I must get away from here and go somewhere where there are no expectations to be the golden girl, and no parents nagging me to work harder; no one to stop me doing normal teenager stuff; no one to judge me and no one to hate me for what’s happened to Bryony. Everything went wrong when Rob turned up unexpectedly outside our house. I’ve been avoiding him for three weeks ever since I told him I didn’t want to be more than friends with him. He must have been hanging around near the house because he rushed up to me when I left with Bryony. He wanted to know why I was avoiding him and asked if I didn’t want to go out with him because I fancied the boy in the turtleneck jumper. He’d been following me and spying on me and I was furious about it. We got into an argument about it all. I let go of Bryony to face him and tell him to go away and leave me alone. That was all it took. It was no more than two minutes and suddenly I had a sense of impending doom. I turned. It happened like in films. Everything slowed. I could see Bryony running across the road towards that stupid puppy that is always escaping. It was staring at her, a small plastic pot by its feet. From the left I spotted a large car. I knew in an instant I would never reach Bryony in time. I screamed at her but as soon as the sound left my mouth there was a horrible screeching of tyres followed by a crunching, sickening thud and Bryony flew into the air before landing like a rag doll on the road. Her limbs went in all directions and I thought she was dead. Everything happened at once then. First came the noise – a babble of sounds as cars drew up and neighbours raced from their homes. People cried. I couldn’t make any sense of what was happening. Someone covered Bryony with a blanket. Someone else banged on our front door until my mother came outside, a look of sheer panic on her face. I shook and shook, unable to move from the spot. Rob turned away and was sick all over the pavement. My mother howled like a wild animal. It was a sound I’ll never forget and I could only think that I had killed my sister. The woman from two doors down held me against her chest and told me over and over again it would be all right. My parents were at the hospital all day and most of the night. The woman from two doors away stayed at our house and made me cocoa but I couldn’t drink it. Dad came home some time this morning, his eyes red. He said Bryony would be okay. She’d broken a few bones but she’d live and recover. I broke down then. He held me by the shoulders and told me it wasn’t my fault but I know it was. We both knew it was. Neither of my parents have any idea of what a bad daughter I truly am. They imagine I am a golden creature who is good, kind and clever. I’m not. I shoplift. I smoke. I’ve even dabbled with drugs. I can lie convincingly but I’m never going to be able to live up to their expectations. This episode proves it. A good daughter wouldn’t have been arguing with an ex-boyfriend because she didn’t want to sleep with him. A proper daughter would have kept an eye on her little sister who’s been sick and who suffers from St Vitus’ dance. I’m not a proper daughter. I have no choice. I’m going to run away. They’ll be far better off without me. I’ll move far away and change my appearance and my life. I’m sad but not afraid to leave. I’ll manage alone because I’m an expert in pretending to be one thing when, in fact, I am another.
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