Outcome

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Outcome Page 29

by Kim Pritekel

The day began to speed by, lunch coming quickly, though I hardly noticed as I immersed myself in my work. We were so close to a major breakthrough. Sometimes I wished I didn’t have to leave the lab at all. If not for Bunsen, and my self-proclaimed mother, I wouldn’t have to leave.

  "Hey, you. Ready?"

  Speak of the devil, and she shall appear, with horns in tact. Well, more like a pen behind her ear than a horn.

  "Yup." I noticed the brown bag in Haley’s hand as I stood from my desk chair. She had managed to coax me out of the lab for lunch, and to doctor’s lounge on my floor. "What’cha got there?" I asked, indicating the bag.

  "Lunch. Come on."

  We got ourselves settled in, and Haley handed me the bag, setting her own on the table. She had resorted to bringing me a lunch everyday because she knew I’d never remember to bring my own, and rare was it that I’d actually venture out to the cafeteria to get something. Truth be told, I didn’t care enough about food to bother when I was working.

  I walked over to the vending machine and bought us our sodas- Dr Pepper for me, and Coke for Haley.

  "Thanks. Now eat. I don’t have a whole lot of time today."

  "Oh? Why’s that?" I sat, grabbing the brown bag, and reaching inside. My brows drew as I felt two individually wrapped sandwiches.

  "Eh, I just have some stuff to take care of after work."

  "Oh. What the," I drew the sandwiches out, and was struck to see that they were cut into two shapes. One was round, and the other an odd, humpy-shape. I turned it around and realized it was the number 3. I put it with the circle, and realized Haley had cut my sandwich into what looked to be the number 30.

  "Mo." Haley grinned, turning my hand so the 3 looked like a curvy M.

  "Are you saying I’m a cow?" she chuckled, chewing on her own sandwich.

  "Maybe ‘om’?" she asked, sipping from her Coke.

  "Yeah, maybe. How did you know?" I asked, turning the 3 the right way.

  "Know what?"

  "That today was my old day."

  "Old? Andi, you’re only 30."

  "Yeah, old." She sat back, putting her hand on her hip.

  "Excuse me, honey, but I’ve been 30 for nine months."

  "Okay, so you’re old and nine months." She glared, I grinned, taking the sandwiches out of their bags, and slowly peeling the edge of the bread up.

  "It’s your favorite, though after that it should have been tuna and cyanide." I sniffed. "Eat, woman!" I grinned, and took a bite.

  "Thank you." I mumbled around the food. "How did you know?"

  "Well, you know about a month back or so when I was being nosey and looking through your wallet?"

  "Ah, damn. You know, I had told the lady at the driver’s license place to not put that on there."

  "Your old date?"

  "That would be the one." She smiled, then reached across the table and squeezed my hand.

  "Happy birthday, Andi." I smiled at her, truly touched.

  "Thanks."

  "Are you free tonight?" I nodded as I finished off the 3. "Good. Come by my place around six. I’m making you dinner."

  "Thus, the after work thing?" She grinned, nodding. "I see. Pretty sure I’d accept, huh?"

  "Of course."

  "Good. Cause I do."

  * * *

  I looked down at myself as I stood on Haley’s front porch. I had decided to look a little nice, wearing khakis and a button up shirt. I reached out my hand, and knocked. Within a few seconds I heard her walking toward the door. I put a smile on my face.

  The door opened, but only a crack. Haley stared out at me. I stared back.

  "Um, hi?" She smiled, and swung the door open.

  "Surprise!" I took a step back, my heart pounding at the chorus of voices that quickly went into a rendition of Happy Birthday, led by Haley. I looked at her, not sure what to do, then looked back into her place, seeing my mother, Clive, Chris and his wife, Kendall standing with the Torrini’s, Samantha.

  "What did you do? Okay, I came, I saw, I left," I turned to start walking away when Haley reached out, grabbing the back of my shirt.

  "Oh, no you don’t!"

  I turned around and was herded into the house, suddenly surrounded by those that meant the most to me. My mom was laughing. I pointed a finger at her.

  "You knew about this, didn’t you?" She grinned. "Busy tonight, my ass."

  "Happy birthday, sweetie." She grabbed me in a huge hug. I made my rounds, hugging everyone, even a very surprised Samantha.

  "Thanks for coming, though you know I’ll get you fired for this." She laughed.

  "Dr. Littman, I’d like you to meet my fiancé, Curtis." A good-looking guy was smiling at me, his hand extended to me.

  I looked at Dr. Torres.

  "Call me Andi, Samantha." She smiled, putting her hand on Curtis’ back.

  "Nice to meet you, Curtis." I said. He smiled, wishing me birthday wishes. The next thing I knew, I was being nearly bowled over by a very excited ten-year-old.

  "Happy birthday to you, you look like a monkey, and smell like one, too!" I hugged the girl tightly to me.

  "Yeah, you should know, you little beast." She giggled, looking up at me with her gap-toothed grin.

  The party got going until Haley called everyone to sit at the long table she had brought in from somewhere. It nearly took up her entire living room. I, of course, was sat at the head of the table, and Haley tied a plastic bib around my neck that read Birthday Girl.

  I was shocked as she served everyone lobster, and all the fixings. She sat to my left.

  "Oh, Haley. You shouldn’t have gone to all this trouble." I felt so guilty. I knew this had to cost her a fortune. She smiled, patting my arm.

  "You’re worth it. Besides, how many times does your best friend turn 30?"

  I just smiled at her. Yeah, life was good.

  We all got a good laugh as the cake was served. It was chocolate with gray icing, a large candy tombstone sticking out of the top with Over the Hill written on it with black icing.

  "You are going to die, you know." I told Haley as she lit all 30 candles she’d put in it.

  "Sure. We all will someday." She smiled sweetly, then once again, led everyone in Happy Birthday.

  "I can’t thank you enough for this, Haley." I told her as we stood together, eating cake. She looked at me for a moment, then smiled.

  "You’re very welcome, Andi. You are worth all this. I know you; did you have any plans for tonight?"

  "Hell no."

  "See that? I could not stand by and let you just let your 30th birthday slip by. Any birthday, for that matter."

  "Thanks. This is, by far, the best birthday I’ve ever had."

  "Aw," Her face crumbled, and it looked like she’d cry. "Thanks."

  "Gift time!" someone yelled, which of course got everyone into a ruckus. I looked at Haley again, and she grinned, that little mischievous look that got me worried.

  I got lots of wonderful gifts, gag and real. One of the best was from my daughter. I opened up the red and blue Koosh ball that she was obviously so proud of.

  "Since it’s your favorite toy," she said, a huge smile plastered on her face. Everyone just thought it was adorable, but I could hear the evil chuckle coming from Haley.

  "Thank you, honey." I knelt down, taking the girl into my arms, and squeezing her tight.

  "This is from me, Andi." I looked up to see Haley handing me a wrapped gift, shaped awfully funny. I took it, and tore into it, staring blankly at a stainless steep potato masher. I looked at her, confused, when it all came back to me. I gave her a crooked grin.

  "Gee, thanks."

  "Well, I figured after all this time, you might need a new, sturdier model."

  "But Andi doesn’t cook," Kendall chimed in, obvious confusion on her face. Oh, boy. How to explain this one.

  "Well, I love mashed potatoes, hon."

  "Oh."

  It took a while, but finally everyone filed out, leaving me with hugs and be
st wishes for a good new year. The place seemed so quiet and empty now.

  "Wow. Some party, huh?" Haley said, picking up some trash off the floor. I began to help her clean up.

  "Yeah. I still cannot believe you did that, Haley Corregan."

  "What’s not to believe? Oh, hang on." She hurried to her office, coming out with a wrapped box, small, maybe six inches high by four inches wide. "Here. This is my real gift to you."

  "Oh, Haley, no. This was enough." I said, indicating the party decorations, and what was left of dinner and cake. She smiled, saying nothing. Just holding the gift out to me. With a sigh of guilt, I took it, bringing it up to my ear to shake it.

  "No! Don’t do that."

  "Oh, okay." Carefully peeling the wrapping paper off, I saw the edge of something hard and clear, plastic. I tore a main section of paper off, and sucked in a breath.

  "Suki,"

  Quickly, but carefully, shredding the rest of the paper, I stared in disbelief at the Beanie Baby that had been so beloved to me before my ex’s dog had torn it to pieces. I looked up at an expectant Haley. "How did you, where did you find this?"

  "Oh, a website or three billion." She smiled, I stared in awe. He was tucked safely inside a hard plastic keepsake box, the top part of it able to lift off when two small latches were unsnapped on the bottom. "You like him?" I nodded dumbly.

  "God, yes. This is way too much. My god." I set the box on the table, and rushed her with a huge hug, knocking the wind out of her.

  "Whoa. Guess you do like it." I smiled as I hugged her tight.

  "Thank you," I whispered in her ear.

  "You’re welcome," she whispered back.

  Combined parts 14 & 15

  It was Saturday night, and Haley’s turn to feed me. We had started having dinner at our houses Saturday nights, switching every other week. I held my gifts under my arm; a bottle of white, a homemade pumpkin cheesecake in honor of Thanksgiving, coming up in just over two weeks, plus a bouquet of her favorite flowers- African violets.

  As I headed up the walkway to Haley’s townhouse, I sniffed the air, loving the smell of fireplaces and wood-burning stoves. The air was frigid, but the snow had yet to start falling, which was odd for us this time of year.

  I balanced all my goodies, and raised my hand to knock when I stopped, brows drawn as I listened; a smile spread across my lips when I realized that what I was hearing was piano music. Haley was playing. I missed hearing her play.

  With a contented sigh, I knocked. The music stopped suddenly, and I heard footsteps coming to the door, when suddenly it was opened.

  "Hi." Haley met me with a huge grin, I smiled back.

  "Howdy. These are for you." I held out the flowers to her, and Haley put a hand to her chest.

  "Oh, Andi. Thank you. God, you are so sweet." She headed back into the house, which was filled with delicious odors, and I followed, happily. I set the wine and dessert on the breakfast bar, then headed to the piano to see what the music was that Haley had been playing.

  There was sheet music open on it.

  "What’s this?" I asked, leaning in to read the title, written in pencil, as the whole thing was. "Outcome. Hmm."

  "Oh, uh, it’s just something I’ve been working on."

  "It’s yours?" I turned to see Haley standing in the archway of the kitchen, smiling shyly. She nodded. "Would you play for me?"

  "It’s not finished yet."

  "I don’t care. I’d like to hear what you’ve got."

  She hesitated. "Okay." She walked over to the piano, lifting the lid, and sat down on the smooth, wood piano bench.

  "Wait, before you start, what is this, exactly? What is Outcome?"

  "Well," Haley took a deep breath, then turned around on the bench to face me. "It’s actually about ... us." I looked at her, surprised, and beyond curious. "Tell me if you can recognize the parts of it, okay?" She looked shyly up at me, which was so strange coming from her. She was always so confident about everything she did. This intrigued me even more.

  "Okay. I’ll do my best."

  She turned on the bench, stretching her fingers a few times, for what seemed like nervousness to me, and then placed them on the keys, and began to play.

  The song started out slow, the notes low and staccato. As I listened, my mind began to reel back, and I saw those first days when I had just been Haley’s physics tutor, and distant admirer. Then the music began to get a little louder, a little faster, and suddenly had the feeling of fun. I felt light, a smile coming to my face as I remembered us being crazy and nutty in the middle of the night, our midnight Wal-Mart raid on Haley’s eighteenth birthday.

  I reached out, putting my hand on Haley’s shoulder, needing that contact with her as the memories rushed me. Our midnight phone calls and IM sessions.

  I was torn from my thoughts and memories when the melody changed again. Suddenly the notes became long, deeper, almost ... what was the word? Yeah, sensual. The feeling of Haley’s body against mine, the heat of the fire next to us as we kissed in my mother’s basement. The sound of our sighs, the nervousness and arousal, all mixing together to create one of the most intense moments of my life.

  I closed my eyes as I let the music flow through me, fill me, and make me feel.

  My eyes opened when I heard the notes tumbling over each other, falling quietly from the higher notes and getting louder as she progressed down the scale until the last one, low, full, final, was banged on the piano, and held. Just one note, loud, deep, melancholy, and full of pain. I knew what that was. After the note faded, the song began again in another key, which caught my heart, turning it into a lump in my throat.

  Haley’s fingers slowed on the keys, her body gently swaying as she played. Looking down, I could see her eyes were closed.

  I wondered if this represented how she had felt after that weekend, or was this the time between then and now? The time when we were not even much of a thought in the other’s life, except as just maybe a friend we both once knew.

  The song began to almost start over again, but in the same, lower key as the previous long stretch, until finally, suddenly, Haley stopped playing.

  I looked down at her, wondering why.

  "That’s it," she said, her voice low, quiet, her back still to me as she rested her hands on the keyboard. "What did you see as I played?" Still, Haley kept her back to me.

  I took a deep breath, trying to get myself together after being so abruptly taken from my world of the past; the lack of music deafening.

  "Well, at first, when it was slow, almost unsure, I felt the beginning, you know, when I was just tutoring you?" She nodded. "Then it got going a bit, faster, fun. I guess that’s the word that immediately came to mind; fun." I smiled at the memory. "I saw us bumming around town, or at the mall, just being nutty. That was when we were friends." Again the nod. "Then," I stopped.

  "Then?" Haley slowly closed the lid on the keyboard, and stood, facing me, the piano bench between us.

  "Then Spring Break weekend. Intense, heavy, sensual. Then you stopped, suddenly, abruptly, powerfully. That was when you left for school, I’m guessing. Or after that weekend." I ran a hand through my hair, still shaky after the memories. "Then there was a long, almost sad, stretch, a different key for a different time. I took that for either how you felt after the weekend, or the stretch of time between then and now. And finally, the song came full circle. You began to play the first part over again, but still in that different key, as it is a very different time."

  Haley smiled, nodding. "Yes. You got it." My stomach suddenly was filled with butterflies, flapping their wings to tickle my insides.

  "How does it end? What is the outcome?" I asked, my voice low as I stared into Haley’s eyes. She stared back, steadfast and strong.

  "It hasn’t been written yet. I told you it was unfinished." Her voice was equally low, yet the sound sent the butterflies on hyper drive.

  As I stared at her, the remnants of "Outcome" still lingering in my head, I
felt myself begin to lean just a bit, like a magnet, pulled toward Haley, drawn. My mind and my body, or was that my heart? raged a battled against each other. My eyes darted from hers down to her mouth, then back up again. Closer, closer-

  Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

  "I’ll get that." Haley nearly ran into the kitchen to get the oven, the timer going off.

  I took a deep breath, trying to get my racing heart and breathing under control. Oh my god. What did I just almost allow myself to do? Never, ever again.

  I literally shook myself to clear my head, running an extremely nervous hand through my hair. Nervous, hell, it was shaking. So was I.

  Taking one final breath, I headed toward the kitchen, where Haley was placing a pan on the counter, pan-holder mittens on either hand.

  "Need some help?" I asked, grateful that my voice sounded normal. She glanced up briefly from starting to cut up the chicken breast.

  "Yeah. Pop the cork in the wine, will you?"

  "Sure." She pointed toward a drawer to her left, so I walked over to it, finding the corkscrew, and carrying it, and the wine, over to the table.

  Maybe wine hadn’t been such a good idea after all.

  Haley began to bring different dishes to the table as I poured our wine. Neither of us said a word. I think we had both needed the distance from each other. I know I did.

  "Hungry?" Haley asked, taking a seat opposite mine.

  "Yeah." I said enthusiastically as I scooted myself in closer to the table. "This looks so good, Haley." She had made one of my favorite chicken dishes; stuffed chicken, with her own special bread dressing inside. My mouth watered just thinking about it.

  As we ate, I thought back to the song again.

  "That was truly beautiful, Haley." She looked up at me, bite halfway to her mouth. "Outcome." She smiled.

  "Thank you."

  "When did you write that? Well, start it, anyway."

  "Twelve years ago. After I left for college, I was sitting in my dorm one night, the electric keyboard my parents had bought for me sitting beside me on the bed. The tune popped into my mind, so I grabbed the keyboard, some paper and a pencil, and I began to write." She sipped from her wine. "I only got to the end of the first part, and I put it away. At that time, that’s as far as the story had gotten."

 

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