‘I passed my exams, thanks to her, and I started a plumbing apprenticeship. I wouldn’t have had the courage to apply if it hadn’t been for Shannon, but she’s one of these people who believe you can achieve anything. She says the only barriers you face are the ones you put up for yourself.’
I felt a surge of pride in my daughter, who sounded wise beyond her years.
‘When we found out about Luke, she was so excited. We’d talked about getting married and having kids at some point. It was earlier than expected, but she prayed about it and said it was God’s plan that we have children sooner.’
I felt my pulse race and my stomach churn again. ‘She prayed about it?’
‘We both did.’
‘You’re Catholics?’ I was aware that I was saying the words through gritted teeth, but I couldn’t help it.
‘Shannon is, and I’m a Methodist.’
Of course she was. As if Great-Aunt Nuala and Da would allow her to be placed with a family who weren’t practising Catholics. Great. Just great.
‘Our faith was one of the many things that united us,’ Callum continued. ‘And I have to say, I don’t know how I’d have got through the past few days without God’s love and support.’
‘Luke’s asleep,’ I said, relieved of the opportunity to shift the subject away from religion. ‘Will I put him in his cot?’
Somehow I managed to lay Luke in his cot without waking him up. Miracle. I shoved the shopping bags in the cupboard before reaching for my coat and bag. ‘Will we go in to see Shannon now?’
‘In a minute. There’s something I need to ask you first. Actually, it’s…’ He winced and clutched his stomach.
‘Are you okay?’ I asked, rushing to his side.
He exhaled slowly then gave me a weak smile. ‘Bit of stomach ache. Nothing to worry about.’
‘Are you sure? Should I get Kelly?’
Callum shook his head. ‘It’s nothing. Honestly. Where were we? Oh yeah, there’s something I’d like you to do for Luke and me, if you can.’
‘Okay.’
‘You might want to sit down for this one.’
My stomach twisted again. I sensed that a request for something a little more significant than shopping for nappies and sleepsuits was on its way. ‘O-kay.’
‘I don’t think it’s fair on a healthy baby like Luke to be stuck in hospital. I’d like you to look after him.’
25
‘You’re sure he wasn’t winding you up?’ Ben took another slurp of his coffee and pulled his duvet more tightly around his body as he curled up on one end of his sofa. I felt a bit guilty. After lying awake all night worrying about Shannon and thinking about Callum’s proposition, I thought I’d been generous in waiting until nine before banging on Ben’s door, instead of turning up at six like I’d wanted to. With everything that had happened, I’d forgotten about his nightshift at the Samaritans. I offered to come back later, but he insisted on getting up so I could update him.
I shook my head. ‘No. He was deadly serious. I understand his logic. Shannon’s incapacitated and even when she wakes up, she’s likely to have weeks, if not months, of recovery ahead of her. He can’t do much on his crutches. Apparently, he’s also got a couple of cracked ribs so he’s on strong painkillers. Meanwhile, poor Luke has started his life stuck in hospital, with limited human contact.’
‘How did you leave it with him?’
‘That I’d think about it. Seriously, Ben, I did not see that one coming. I don’t know what to do, which, as you know, is very rare for me.’
Ben smiled. ‘Rare? I’d suggest non-existent. Okay, let’s start with the basics. What stopped you from saying yes immediately?’
‘Only a-trillion-and-seven things.’ I started counting them off on my fingers. ‘One: I have no idea what to do with a baby. Couldn’t even change a nappy yesterday. Two: I have a full-time job with frequent travel. Three: I rent a one-bedroom apartment with a “no children or pets” policy. Four: Shannon might not like it. Plus a-trillion-and-three other things. Stop laughing at me.’
Ben put his mug down on the carpet. ‘Sorry. It’s just that you’re so cute when you get all stressed like this.’
‘Cute?’ I threw a cushion at him. ‘Kittens are cute. Babies are cute… sometimes. I’m not.’ I looked around for something else to throw.
‘I concede!’ Ben raised his hands in the air. ‘Cute might have been the wrong choice of adjective. It’s just that you’re normally so in control and it’s reassuring to see that you occasionally have vulnerable, clueless moments like the rest of us.’
‘You should have seen me in the hospital with Luke yesterday. Jesus, was that a picture of clueless vulnerability or what?’
Shrugging the duvet off, Ben reached for his mug and stood up. ‘Sorry, I need a top-up. You?’
I shook my head. ‘Still on this one.’
He returned a few minutes later with another drink. ‘Where were we? Oh yes, a-trillion-and-seven reasons not to say yes immediately. Let’s just ignore all those issues for the moment. What’s your gut feeling? What do you want to do?’
‘I want to be looking after Luke. Of course I do! He’s my grandbaby. But—’
‘Don’t revert to the objections yet. Let’s focus on the positives. That was a pretty strong declaration that you want to do it. Aside from the fact that he’s your flesh and blood, why do you want to look after Luke?’
I took a swig of my coffee as I thought for a moment. ‘Because I missed out on looking after Shannon when she was a baby. This would be like getting a second chance. I want to do it for me and I want to do it for Shannon.’
‘Then you should do it. I’m not sure about the trillion-and-three objections you didn’t list, but we can definitely overcome the four you did.’
‘What? The four absolutely enormous objections?’
‘The only barriers in your way are the ones you put up for yourself.’ Ben frowned. ‘Why are you looking at me like that?’
I smiled. ‘That’s the exact phrase Callum used in the hospital yesterday. Apparently, it’s the phrase that Shannon lives by.’
‘It’s a sign! Alleluia!’
Ben was saved from having anything else thrown at him by my phone ringing.
‘Hi, Callum,’ I said.
‘How soon can you get here? Shannon’s taken a bad turn.’
Ben pulled up at the entrance to Jimmy’s. ‘You go to her. I’ll park and find you later.’
I leapt out of the car and power-walked to the ICU. As soon as I entered the waiting room, I spotted Callum slumped in a plastic chair, pale-faced. A cold chill crept over my body. I was too late. My feet felt as though they were rooted to the spot.
Callum looked up. ‘Clare!’
‘Is she...?’
He ran his hand across his stubbly chin. ‘She’s critical… infection from one of the lines… don’t really know… couldn’t take it in.’ His speech was slurred and he appeared to be struggling to focus his eyes on me.
‘Callum? Are you all right? Callum? Shit! Nurse! Help!’ I tried to catch him as he fell towards the floor, but he was too heavy. ‘Help!’
Ben put his arm round me as we walked back to his car a little after eight that evening. ‘They’ll both pull through. The doctor said so. Callum’s had a successful op and Shannon’s over the worst.’
I relaxed against him, grateful for both the physical and emotional support. ‘I know. It was just a hell of a shock. Hadn’t they both suffered enough already?’
Callum’s appendix had ruptured, or burst, or whatever it is they do, so he’d been rushed to have that removed while another team of doctors fought to stabilise Shannon. It had been a terrifying day.
‘It makes one decision for me, though. I’m definitely going to look after Luke.’
Ben squeezed my shoulder. ‘But you’d already decided that, hadn’t you?’
I nodded.
‘You know you’re welcome to move back in.’
‘Thank
s, but I can’t do that to you and Lebony.’
‘I’ve already told you that Lebony has no problem with you living here. She sends her best wishes, by the way, to you and your new family.’
I was about to make a snide comment but it struck me that I could use all the best wishes in the world right now. Please let Shannon and Callum be okay.
26
✉︎ From Elise
Is everything OK? I’ve tried to call several times but it goes straight to voicemail. Getting worried. Hope all’s well with Shannon and Luke xx
* * *
✉︎ From Sarah
Where are you? You didn’t call on Friday so I’ve been texting and calling you but no response. Hope you’re OK. Can you call me? xx
* * *
✉︎ To Elise and Sarah
Really sorry. Phone’s been off. Been at Jimmy’s. Shannon took a bad turn, then Callum collapsed with appendicitis, but they’re both over the worst. Traumatic couple of days. On my way back from Northampton with their belongings. They were meant to be moving into a rented house when they got back from Gretna Green. Eejit landlord’s given it to someone else and their foster places have been filled so, on top of all the other bollocks, they’re homeless! Also got Luke’s cot, buggy and a pile of other baby crap cos he’s going to be staying with me. Don’t ask! Not worked it out yet. Promise I’ll call for a catch-up soon but got lots to sort out. Off to London tomorrow. Not sure my boss is going to appreciate the immediate ‘maternity’ leave request! Hope you’re both OK xx
* * *
✉︎ From Sarah
OMG! Let me know if you need any help with anything. Keep me posted xx
* * *
✉︎ From Elise
Stevie and I are on our way to Leeds. Sounds like you’re going to need help unpacking and putting up a cot. He’s just made ours so he’s pretty useful. We’ve packed the tools! Text me your postcode xx
‘Why do you keep looking backwards?’ Ben asked, as we headed up the M1 towards Leeds shortly after lunch on the Sunday.
I twisted back round in my seat to face forward. ‘My last experience of moving was when I relocated to Leeds. My stuff filled a small lorry. It seems a bit sad that there are three of them and their stuff doesn’t even fill a Transit van.’
‘It’s a big van, though,’ Ben said. ‘Bear in mind that you had some furniture and they don’t. And you’ve had twice as long to accumulate stuff. How much did you have when you were their age?’
I pictured the suitcase and a couple of boxes in Ma and Da’s lounge, ready to be banished with me. ‘Not much.’
We travelled in silence for ten minutes or so.
‘The Hendersons seemed like nice people,’ Ben said. ‘It was good of them to store Shannon and Luke’s things for them.’
‘Yes, but they shouldn’t have had to store the stuff. Bloody landlord evicting them. Who does that?’
‘Hey! We’ve been through this already. He was a friend of the Hendersons, and Callum explicitly instructed him to rent it out to someone else. Callum doesn’t know when they’ll be out of hospital and there’s no point him paying rent while he isn’t working. It was his choice, Clare. His choice. Besides, you can’t evict someone who hasn’t even moved in. They haven’t lost any money. They’ve got their deposit back. So uncross your arms and feed me some wine gums. Not green ones, though.’
I pushed a green one into his mouth and he grimaced. ‘You’re a mean girl, Irish. Very mean.’
‘Yeah, but you still love me, so you do.’
He glanced across at me briefly. ‘If you say so.’
Elise and Stevie were already waiting on the pavement outside Orion Point when Ben pulled up right outside the entrance and put on the hazards.
‘I’m not going to be much help lifting and carrying,’ Elise said, ‘but I can keep everyone in drinks.’
‘All help is appreciated. Thank you, both of you.’
‘What floor are you on?’ Stevie asked.
‘The fourteenth.’
‘Please tell me there are lifts and that they work.’
I laughed. ‘Thankfully, yes.’
We filled the lift with the first load, then Elise and I travelled up together while Ben and Stevie emptied the van. I left Elise in the apartment in charge of drinks and travelled back down for the next load.
‘Surprise!’ The lift doors opened to reveal Sarah and Nick.
‘Jesus! You scared me! What are you two doing here?’
‘We figured you might need some help, but it looks like someone beat us to it.’
‘The more the merrier,’ I said, trying to ignore the slight edge to Sarah’s voice. ‘Thank you. It means a lot.’
Sarah put her arms out. ‘I know you don’t do hugs often, but I’m thinking now might be a good time for one.’
I nodded, tears suddenly pricking my eyes. ‘It’s been a shitty few days.’
‘I bet it has,’ she said.
‘Excuse me! Any chance of getting to the lift?’ There was no mistaking the anger in the woman’s voice.
I let go of Sarah and wiped my eyes. ‘Sorry.’ I stepped aside. ‘We’re just moving some stuff in.’
‘So I see.’ The woman was in her mid-to-late forties, immaculately dressed from head to toe in winter-white Ralph Lauren. Her glossy black hair was pulled back into a chignon, and a slash of raspberry across her lips matched the raspberry-coloured Mulberry bag she carried. Wow! I’d always thought I was stylish, but I looked like something out of the Matalan sale next to her. Actually, in my present house-moving gear of jeans and an old T-shirt, I probably looked like something from a jumble sale.
‘I’m Clare, fourteenth floor. I think you might live above me.’
She looked me up and down and I swear her lip curled in disgust. Without offering her name in return, she looked pointedly in the direction of the flatpack cot resting against the wall. ‘You rent from Daryl Smithers, don’t you?’
I nodded. ‘How did you know?’
‘Daryl’s a friend of mine. A good friend.’ She stepped into the lift and gave me a frosty stare. ‘I trust the cot is a gift and you’re not about to move a baby into the building because I do believe that would be a breach of your rental conditions?’
Holy crap! ‘Of course. Just a gift.’
‘I thought so.’ The lift door closed.
Sarah whistled. ‘Delightful neighbour you’ve got there.’
‘And a hideous problem I’ve got now.’
‘Why’s that?’
‘My lease strictly states, “no pets and no children”.’
‘Oh. What are you going to do?’
‘Move Luke in and hope he turns invisible and never cries. Yeah, I know. I’d better start packing because I’m about to be evicted.’
Ben dumped a couple of suitcases next to me. ‘You’re not still angry at Shannon’s landlord, are you? He didn’t evict them.’
‘I know. I was just telling Sarah about it, though.’
Ben pointed towards the pile of belongings in the lobby. ‘That’s everything except Callum’s bike, which I’ll store in my shed, so I’m going to move the van. Stevie and Nick are moving their cars to the visitor spaces.’
‘Okay.’
‘Why didn’t you tell him about that woman?’ Sarah said, as soon as the door had closed.
‘Because I know him too well. If he gets wind of me being kicked out, what will he do?’
‘Offer you his spare room again?’
‘Exactly. Only, it wouldn’t just be me this time, would it? It would hardly be fair to lumber him with a newborn baby too. I’ll just have to find somewhere else to live. If the Ice Queen grasses on me, that is. Hopefully I’ll be able to get away with it.’
Sarah smiled reassuringly, but I knew that she knew the Ice Queen was going to have her eye on me and would be running straight to Daryl the minute she got so much as a sniff of a dirty nappy. Bollocks!
I’m one of those annoying people who don’t get nerv
ous. I thrive on the pressure of deadlines, challenging targets and awkward negotiations. Yet I found myself actually trembling the following morning as I slowly made my way down the corridor of our London HQ to meet with Mike and our HR manager, Sabina. I felt exactly the same way as when I’d confronted Da, which was ridiculous, as I’d always had a good relationship with Mike. Some of my colleagues found him difficult but I loved his direct, straight-talking, no-nonsense approach. Unfortunately, he was embarrassingly old-school when it came to women and careers. I swear he’d only promoted me because he was certain I’d never settle down and have children. I therefore suspected he’d take my news as an act of disloyalty and treat me with the same contempt he’d shown to my colleagues, although I hoped that the results I’d delivered would have earned me enough brownie points to get the flexibility I needed.
I could hear raised voices as I approached the meeting room. Through the glass panel next to the door, I could see Mike pacing up and down, looking like a bear with a sore head. Sabina kept shaking her head and indicating that he should sit down and, I suspected, calm down. Bollocks! Taking a deep breath and standing tall, I knocked on the door, then entered the lion’s den.
Coming Home to Seashell Cottage Page 14