“Mac.”
As she breathed his name, the corners of her mouth tilted upward in a gentle smile, and Mac felt his heart melt like snow beneath a hot sun.
Her hand fell weakly toward him. He picked it up and hauled it to his mouth where he kissed each finger, then the middle of her palm.
“Ileana. Oh, Ileana.” It was all he could say as he reached for her and pulled her body alongside his.
Ileana shyly nestled her head in the crook of his arm and closed her eyes. She’d never felt so utterly satiated, so completely content in her life. Mac had made love to her, and their union had been more than she could have ever dreamed or hoped that it would be.
“I’m so happy,” she murmured.
His fingers meshed in the crown of her hair, then stroked down the long strands. “I’m glad that you’re happy.”
“Was I…terribly awkward?”
Her question must have caught him off guard because he didn’t answer immediately. But then his brown eyes looked tenderly into hers.
“Awkward? Oh, honey, you couldn’t have been more perfect.”
She chuckled softly. “You don’t have to overdo it, Mac.”
Smiling seductively, his hand slid from her shoulder, down the slope of her rib cage and onto the rise of her hip. “You’re one spicy doctor. And as soon as you give me a few minutes to recoup, I’m going to show you there’s no such thing as overdoing it.”
By the time they emerged from the house later that evening, the sun had melted at least half of the snow. Mac drove his truck up the hill and parked it in Ileana’s driveway, but neither of them mentioned him going back to the Bar M. Although, as he shoveled snow off the front deck of the house and tossed it over the railing, the notion was following Mac around like a giant elephant.What the hell did he think he was doing? He couldn’t just camp here with Ileana and then in a few days walk away as though nothing had happened.
Why not? You’ve done it plenty of times before.
Damn it, why was he suddenly developing such a conscience? Ever since his giant mistake with Brenna, love ’em and leave ’em had been his motto. He didn’t break promises because he didn’t make them in the first place. He didn’t expect a woman to love him. And he didn’t want a woman to love him. His rules made everything easy.
But nothing felt easy when he looked at Ileana, when he took her into his arms and kissed her. Why did it feel so good, so right? Why did the sky and everything around him seem a bit brighter?
A few minutes later, when Ileana came out of the house carrying an armful of crumpled papers and a box of matches, Mac was still asking himself those questions. But they weren’t nearly as important as watching a smile spread across her face or enjoying this short time he had to spend with her.
“Do you like hot dogs?” she asked cheerfully.
“Sure. Why, are you getting hungry?”
“Famished.” She gestured over to an iron fire pit sitting in one corner of the deck. “I thought we might build a fire out here on the deck and roast hot dogs for our supper. Unless you’re too cold.”
“Too cold! Are you kidding? This Texan is getting used to thirty-degree weather,” he teased.
She laughed. “Okay, tough guy, if you’ll pull the pit over here in the center of the deck, we’ll get the fire going.”
Mac positioned the large, bowl-shaped fire pit, then fetched wood from the lean-to at the back of the house. While he got the fire roaring, Ileana went to the kitchen and gathered the makings of the hot dogs.
Before long they were sitting on camp stools, roasting hot dogs over the warm campfire, while in front of them the evening sun was quickly dipping behind the mountains. Purple shadows were spreading across the deck, enveloping them in soft shadows. As Mac watched firelight flicker across Ileana’s face, he couldn’t remember doing anything so simple or pleasant.
“Do you do this often?” Mac asked.
She shook her head. “No. Adam gave me the fire pit as a Christmas gift one year, but I rarely use it. Sitting out here alone isn’t—well, it isn’t enjoyable unless someone is with me.”
God, how many times had he sat on his front porch at home, looked out at his cattle grazing and wondered why it all didn’t make him happier. Ileana had stated it simply and perfectly. It took two to make a place mean something.
“Yeah. I know what you mean,” he said, then before he could stop himself, he reached over and clasped her free hand with his. “Ileana, we haven’t talked about this. But now that some of the snow has melted I can drive back down the mountain to the ranch house tonight—if you want me to.”
Her fingers tightened around his as she looked at him. “That’s true. You can leave now if you want. But I…hope you want to stay.”
Emotions totally strange to Mac suddenly swelled in the middle of his chest. “I want to stay.”
Her shy smile was all it took to make him feel like the most special man on earth.
Chapter Ten
B y Sunday evening it sank in on Mac that in the past twenty-four hours he’d done two things he’d not done since he and Brenna had divorced nearly fifteen years ago. He’d stayed all night in a woman’s bed. And he’d gone to church with her.
Maybe to most men those things didn’t sound like life-changing events, but the more Mac chewed on it, the more he recognized that Ileana was changing him. Had changed him. Where was it all going to lead? How was he going to go back to Texas and be the Mac he used to be? Could he go back to being that man?There couldn’t be any question about that, he thought, as he sat at Ileana’s dining table, sipping at a cup of coffee that had grown cool while he waited for her to finish a few business calls. He had to go back to Bee County, and the sooner he did, the sooner he’d remember who he was, what he was. He’d get his life back to normal.
“I’m sorry about that, Mac,” Ileana said a moment later as she stepped into the kitchen. “Dr. Vickers had several things to go over with me.”
After church this morning, Ileana had changed into a pair of jeans and a striped shirt. Now as she moved over to the cabinet counter, Mac’s gaze traveled appreciatively over the thrust of her breasts, the curve of her bottom and the shape of her thighs. Just looking at her filled him with visions of creamy skin and rosy nipples, teased his senses with the scent of lilac and the warmth of her soft body.
He clutched the cold cup while wondering why his desire for the woman never seemed to be quenched. “Problems?”
Smiling, she said, “No. In fact, he says that over the past two days Frankie has made a big stride toward getting well. Once she was finally able to sit up for an extended time, it’s greatly helped her lungs.”
Frankie was getting better. That meant he would soon be able to visit with the woman. And no matter how that visit turned out, his time here in New Mexico would end. Only moments earlier, he’d been telling himself he needed to go home. So Ileana’s news should have thrilled him. Instead, his insides felt like lead weights.
“That’s good. And your other patients?”
She poured herself a cup of coffee and joined him at the table. “I’ll be able to release two of them tomorrow. The rest are coming along nicely.”
He tried to smile, tried to hide the warring emotions inside him. “It must make you feel great to know that you’re getting people back on their feet,” he said.
With a modest smile, she reached across the table and covered his hand with hers. Everything in Mac wanted to turn his hand over and snatch a hold on her wrist. He wanted to lead her to the bedroom, make love to her and block out the notion that it would be the very last time.
Gently, she said, “And it must make you feel good to keep people safe.”
He shrugged. “What I do isn’t nearly as important as your job.”
She frowned. “How do you think life would be for the citizens in your county if there was no law enforcement there? It would be dangerous and violent, that’s how. People would have to alter their lives just to remain safe.” A smile
chased away her frown. “We all have a purpose, Mac.”
Sighing heavily, he pulled his hand away and rose from the table. Looking at her hurt. Touching her hurt. Everything inside him was twisting with agony. It shouldn’t be this way, he thought. Being with Ileana, no matter how short the time, should be making him happy.
Blindly, he moved over to the patio door and pretended an interest in the view of the mountain. “I guess you’re right. And right now my purpose is to find my mother. Have you decided when I might see her?” he asked dully.
A long stretch of silence passed, and Mac figured he’d caught her off guard. For the past two days they’d not been discussing Frankie or the reason Mac had come to Lincoln County. They’d simply been enjoying the moment, taking pleasure in each other. But now his question had jerked them both back to reality.
“I hadn’t thought about it, Mac. But if things are still okay by tomorrow, I suppose you can see her then.”
Her answer was like an electrical jolt, and his head jerked around just in time to see her rising from her chair and moving toward him.
“Tomorrow? Are you serious?”
“Yes.”
Pausing in front of him, Mac could see her features were pinched, and when she placed her hand on his arm, he felt his heart crack.
“Are you that desperate to leave?” she asked.
He swallowed at the strange tightening in his throat. “No. Not exactly. I just…well…time has been marching on, and I’m…expected back at my deputy duties soon.”
That was only a partial truth. But Mac didn’t want to admit to this woman that he was a coward, that he was afraid to stay much longer, afraid if he remained in her presence he would end up doing something stupid. Like fall in love with her.
She appeared to be weighing his every word as her gaze wandered over his face. Mac could only wonder what she was thinking. That he’d been using her? Oh, God, nothing could be further from the truth. Somehow he had to make her understand that.
“I see. I’m sorry, Mac. I wasn’t thinking. I guess I was being selfish and thinking—” She paused, then released a long, shaky breath. “I’ve been…this time with you has been so special for me. It was easy to forget that you have a life back in Texas.”
Summoning all the strength he could find, he made himself play it light. After all, there was nothing serious between them, just mutual attraction and respect. She wasn’t expecting more and neither was he, he assured himself.
“It’s been special for me, too, Ileana.”
Her fingers tightened on his arm and like a man gripping a lifeline, he felt his strength slipping, his resistance collapsing.
“You are going to stay with me tonight, aren’t you?”
The sweet innocence to her question, the gentle plea on her face was more than Mac could bear. Emitting a groan of surrender, he drew her into the circle of his arms and buried his face in the side of her silky hair.
“Of course I’m going to stay,” he said in a muffled voice.
“I’ll have to get up very early to leave for work,” she warned him.
His hands roamed her back, treasured the feel of her warm body. “Then I’ll get up very early and make breakfast. The least I can do is see that the doctor maintains her nutrition.”
Tilting her head back, she smiled at him. “I’m holding you to that promise.”
By midmorning the next day, Ileana was knee-deep in work yet having a heck of a time trying to concentrate on anything. Minutes ago she’d called Mac’s cell phone and informed him that Frankie would be in her room and that he could go in to see her as long as he kept the meeting limited to ten minutes.The realization that Mac was finally going to get answers to questions about his mother had left Ileana more than anxious. Several times this morning she’d dropped things, missed words in conversations and forgotten to return phone calls. If it hadn’t been for Ada following her around, taking care of her missteps, she’d be in a mess.
Actually, Ileana was already in a mess, she just didn’t want to admit it to herself or anyone else. She’d blindly stepped into Mac’s arms because she’d been attracted to him, drawn to him in a way that she’d never been drawn to any man. She’d known their time together was temporary yet she’d plowed ahead, eager to snatch a taste of womanhood.
She’d not expected his lovemaking to make such an incredible change in her life. She felt different. She was different. Now, all she could think was that their time together was narrowing down and by allowing him to see Frankie she was speeding up the process.
Oh, God, what was it going to be like once Mac went back to Texas? Her house, her life was going to be so empty. Could she live on just the memories he left behind?
“Doc, are you coming down with something?” Ada asked.
Pulling her hand away from her forehead, Ileana looked up to see the nurse walking into her office. As Ada frowned with concern, Ileana straightened her slumped shoulders.
“Not at all. I’m just a bit distracted this morning.”
“A bit!” Ada exclaimed as she rested a hip on the corner of Ileana’s desk. “I’ve never seen you like this!”
Thrusting a hand through her hair, Ileana looked at the other woman. “Mac is going to visit with Frankie this morning. And I’m worried about both of them.”
Ileana had given the nurse a brief account of why Mac had come to Ruidoso and why he believed Frankie might be his mother. Since then Ileana hadn’t given the woman any hint that she’d gotten close to the man. Even though the nurse hadn’t said as much to her, Ileana somehow sensed that Ada believed she was falling for the Texan.
“What do you think might come of this meeting?” Ada asked.
Ileana picked up a pen and began twisting it between her fingers. “I honestly don’t know. I just fear that both of them might be hurt.”
“Well, you can order the man not to see her.”
“No. That wouldn’t help matters. This meeting has to happen—for both of their sakes. I only wish—” Pausing, she let out a heavy sigh. “That I could see a happy ending out of this. For both of them.”
Ada studied her keenly. “You’ve changed since he came to town, Doc.”
Ada couldn’t imagine just how much she had changed, Ileana thought. She was now a woman who understood what it meant to make love to a man, experience the rush of pleasure, the ecstasy of being wanted. Oh, yes, she’d changed. She just hadn’t realized it showed.
“Just because I’ve worn a few dresses and put on some lipstick?” she lightly teased. “Come on, Ada, I’m still the same boring doctor you’ve always known.”
“You’re not boring. You never were. But you’re more interesting now, and it’s obvious the change has a great deal to do with your tall Texan.”
“He’s hardly mine,” Ileana muttered, but even as she said the words her cheeks turned bright pink. “And we’d better get back to work.”
Rising from her seat, she expected Ada to follow her out of the office. When the nurse failed to make a move, Ileana looked back at her.
“Are you stuck to that desk?”
Shaking her head, Ada smiled. “We’ve seen the last patient for this morning. It’s almost time for lunch, or hadn’t you noticed.”
Amazed that she’d been in such a fog, Ileana glanced at her watch. “I guess time got away from me,” she mumbled.
“Why don’t you go over to Sierra General?” Ada suggested. “Maybe Mac is still there.”
Ileana’s eyes widened. “Mr. Hampton was the last patient?”
Ada nodded. “I told you that when we left the examining room, but I guess you weren’t listening.”
“Sorry, Ada. I’ve not been myself this morning.” She hurried over to a hall tree where her coat and muffler were hanging. “I think I will go to the hospital. I’ll see you after lunch.”
Across town, Mac didn’t know what to expect when he walked into Frankie Cantrell’s hospital room, but one thing was for sure, he didn’t expect to find the beautiful
, fragile woman sitting in an armchair.Her image was framed by a picture window, and the sunlight illuminated her face. As he grew nearer, Mac decided she looked much younger than he imagined, but much older than the woman who’d walked away from the McCleod farm nearly thirty years ago.
“Ms. Cantrell?”
The faint smile on her face told him that she didn’t have a clue who he was. The fact hit him almost as hard as the sight of her. Yet he told himself that there was no way she could connect his image with that of a ten-year-old boy. One that she’d not seen in years.
“Yes. Are you the visitor that the nurse told me about?”
“I am.” Bending forward, he offered her his hand. “I’ve been here in Lincoln County for the past several days, waiting for you to get better. Ileana—I mean—Dr. Sanders tells me that you’ve been very ill.”
“Yes. But I’m much better now.”
She politely shook his hand, and Mac noticed her fingers were cool, the skin as delicate as a rose petal. The blue of her eyes was deep, and while they curiously scanned his face, Mac could only think how her brow and the shape of her mouth resembled his brother. Dear God, if there had been any question before, there wasn’t now. This was their mother! His mother!
“You say you’ve been waiting for me to get well? I’m sorry but you have the advantage on me. Should I know you, young man?”
His nostrils flared as he drew in a deep breath, and unexpected pain burned in the middle of his chest.
“I think so. My name is Phineas. Phineas McCleod. But I used to be Mac to you.”
All these years Mac had dreamed of this moment. He’d imagined finding his mother and how she would look once he confronted her. He’d believed that shocking her would give him pleasure. It didn’t.
Her face not only appeared ashen but it looked wounded. As though he’d physically struck her with his open hand.
A Texan on Her Doorstep Page 14