by A. W. Cross
Is this what Daisy was afraid of?
Pine sank rapidly, bubbles rushing from her nose and mouth. Bubbles? That’s not possible; I don’t breathe. But her body rebelled, struggling to draw a breath. Water rushed into her mouth, choking her as she tried to scream.
Above her, stark in the darkening water, a corpse-pale face appeared. Long blue hair swirled around it, seamless with the sea. She’d seen faces like this before in humans who’d drowned, with bone-white skin, blue lips, and milky eyes.
The corpse smiled and stretched out her hand, beckoning to Pine. Come to me.
Pine reached, trying to seize the outstretched fingers.
She breathed her last.
Slowly, the darkness receded. Whatever had caught her in its grasp released her and recoiled into the gloom. Free, she propelled herself toward the surface and the promise of salvation.
Pine opened her eyes.
Four faces hovered over her: James, whose eyes were oddly red, his face misshapen, a man with hair as black as sea glass and even darker eyes, another man whose hair and face were as white as the crest of waves, his eyes the violet of a mauve stinger. And a woman, her cheeks round and studded with obsidian, her hair the blue of the deep ocean. Her smile revealed small, pearly teeth and her eyes, so cold in the water, were bright coral-blue.
She was the most dazzling thing Pine had ever seen. “We’ll give you a minute,” she said, and the three strange faces withdrew.
“Oh, Pine, thank god.” James pressed his forehead to her shoulder. His hand held hers, the palm clammy and fingers not quite steady. When she tried to squeeze them, she found she couldn’t move.
James tried to reassure her. “You’re okay, Pine. Blue had to immobilize you from the neck down. But you’re okay.” He took a deep breath and leaned forward, as though he was about to say more. But the words didn’t come and after a few seconds he pulled away, shaking slightly.
He wasn’t angry? She’d expected him to be livid. She done everything he and Joseph had told her not to do, had put herself in mortal danger, and yet, here he was, her nemesis, clutching her hand like he would never let it go.
“James, I’m sorry. I—”
Bright white tape covered a grisly split in his eyebrow.
“You’re hurt.”
“It’s nothing.” He dismissed it with a wave.
“How did I get here? What happened in the market?”
James came, and I ran away. She’d made it to the lot. She’d seen them coming; they’d somehow escaped James. And then, pain. Dizzying pain. Pain so bad her mind stopped making sense of it. All for the bag. The bag. She’d hidden it. And then— Pine snatched her hand away from James, her fingers flying to her throat. “They hung me. Hung me. They tried to kill me.”
“Yes.” James winced and pulled his hand from hers. “After you ran away, someone attacked me from behind. Took me by surprise.” His hands knotted into fists.
“But then—?”
“When I came to, they’d dumped me outside the market. I hoped that for once you’d done what I’d asked, and I went to the tree where I’d told you to go. And you were there. They’d—” He pressed his lips together at the memory. “And so I called the Blue Fairy.”
I hoped that for once you done what I’d asked. There had been no malice in James’s voice, but it still washed over Pine like water, bitter cold. She opened her mouth to apologize, but he wasn’t done.
“I just— I just don’t understand, Pine. Why did you sneak off like that? Going into the theater was bad enough, but then to go off with two strangers to an unfamiliar part of the city— What were you thinking?”
“I’m sorry—”
“How can I protect you when you won’t even listen to your own common sense, Pine? You rant and rave about being treated like a mindless object, then you try to prove us wrong by acting like one.” He scrubbed his hand down his face. “Over the last couple of weeks, I thought you would finally see that Joseph only wants the best for you, yet you insist on throwing it back in his face every single time. I just…I just don’t know what to do with you, Pine. We can’t go on like this.”
Whether James had intended the latter as a threat or not, Pine didn’t know.
And she didn’t care.
Her remorse evaporated under the sudden heat of her anger.
“I’m not the problem, James, humans are. Why kind of species are you that I have to constantly be on my guard? That you’ll be kind to my face one moment and string me up from a tree the next? You shouldn’t have to protect me, James.” She wished she could wrap her arms around herself, create some kind of barrier between them. “And what are you saying? That if I’m not good, you’ll get rid of me? I’m still nothing but a pile of metal to you, aren’t I?”
And so what if you are? After everything humans have done to you, to sentient androids, why do you care what James thinks?
“Just tell me why you did it, Pine. I’m trying to understand.” His voice was weary.
“When I found my friend, finally something from home, you dismissed it and treated me like a child. It…” It pained her to admit it. “You hurt my feelings.”
“I hurt your feelings? You put your life at risk because I hurt your feelings?” James was incredulous.
It had sounded ridiculous when she’d said it out loud. No wonder he treated her like an idiot.
Pine was tired of feeling stupid. “I wish I’d never met you. I wish they’d taken me away for parts.” She didn’t mean it—the thought filled her with horror—but she just didn’t know what else to say.
James stood abruptly, overturning his chair.
“James?” The woman from Pine’s dream spoke from somewhere out of sight. “Can we come back in?” Her voice was bland, as though she hadn’t just overheard their fight.
“Yes, of course.” James turned his chair upright and sat down again, looking everywhere but at Pine.
Movement behind Pine’s head startled her. What was that woman doing?
“James?”
“It’s okay, Pine. She’s almost finished.” He still wouldn’t look at her.
“He’s right…I’ve just about got it.” The blue woman disappeared from Pine’s view, and there was a slight pressure behind her ear. “That should do it. Try to sit up.”
Pine complied, James relenting and steadying her from behind. Even though she could now move, everything in the room kept shifting, and she sat dumbly while the two strange men buzzed around her.
“I wonder how extensive the damage is. Do you think she still works?”
“If not, do you think she’s salvageable? I know a buyer who—”
“We could always just replace some of the more expensive parts with—”
What were they talking about? Salvageable? A buyer? The unnamed shape in the dark water rose up to coil around her.
“Enough!” James roared, and the two fell back, stunned. “She’s not a piece of— She’s— Just, that’s enough.” He stood and leaned protectively over Pine, his heart pounding audibly against his chest. She reached up and splayed her fingers over it. Slowly, the darkness retreated.
The blue-haired woman seemed amused by James’s outburst. “Ignore them, Cricket. They mean no harm.”
“I don’t care,” James flared. “They can’t speak about her like she’s not here. Like she’s a—”
“Machine?” the white-haired man asked helpfully. He shrank under James’s returning glower.
“James?” Pine was afraid. Despite everything he’d just said, he had promised Joseph he’d protect her.
“I think you two need to go take a walk. Please.”
They took the hint and withdrew, skirting carefully around James as they did.
“When did The Cricket get so sensitive?” one man muttered to the other as they left.
“Who were those men?” Pine asked. Her hand was still pressed to James’s chest and, self-consciously, she withdrew it. With his heart no longer beating under her palm, P
ine wished for the hundredth time that she could burst into tears.
James sat heavily back in his chair beside her and grabbed her hand. “The white-haired man is The Owl, the dark-haired one The Crow. Don’t let their talk bother you. They’re completely out of touch with reality and see everything in binary.” He glanced up at the woman. “I don’t want to hear them talking about Pine like that ever again.” He seemed to have forgotten that, not so long ago, he’d been quick to do the same, but Pine held her tongue.
The woman smiled dryly at James’s warning, unintimidated. “I’ll tell them. Especially since it seems so important to you.” Her gaze flicked from James to Pine and back again with a keen interest. “It’s nice to meet you, Pine.”
“Pine, this is The Blue Fairy—” James began.
“But you can call me Blue,” she interrupted. “No need to be formal.” She went to the other side of the room and fiddled with some equipment on a long counter covered with various bits and pieces.
The Cricket. The Blue Fairy, The Owl, and The Crow. Did all humans have these other names?
“Blue’s been putting you back together.” James glanced down at Pine’s hand in his but didn’t pull away.
“Thank you.” It sounded so inadequate.
Blue dismissed her with a smile. “Not a problem. Joseph, James, and I go way back. They’d do the same for me.” She pushed the hair back from her face. “Besides, it’s mostly just cosmetic work now, after I reattached your spine to your head. When Joseph sees you, you’ll be good as new.”
James squeezed her hand then let go. “Which reminds me, I’ve got a phone call to make. Pine, will you be okay?” He stood and stretched.
She nodded, too proud to beg him to stay.
“You’ve made quite an impression on him,” Blue remarked after James had shut the door behind him.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, after what happened to him…to see him so protective of one of your kind…”
The other woman’s candidness was disconcerting. “He’s just making sure Joseph’s property gets back to him in one piece.”
“I don’t think you’re giving The Crick—sorry, James enough credit.” Blue turned back to her, a mammoth syringe in her hand.
“I— What is that?” The bore of the needle was so big, Pine could actually see inside it. She wasn’t going to use that on Pine, was she?
Blue glanced down at the syringe in her hand. “What, this? Pine, do you have any idea what you look like right now? I didn’t patch you up while you were unconscious just in case—”
“I was ready for the scrap heap?”
“Well, yes. But since you’re alive and all…we’d better get you fixed up.”
For the first time, Pine became aware she wasn’t wearing the clothes she’d left Joseph’s in. She was clad from neck to feet in a gown made of a material that felt like paper; even her arms were covered, all the way to her hands. Only her back was bare, and she couldn’t see that.
“I’ve turned your pain sensors off, so you shouldn’t feel anything. But—”
“Feel anything? What would I feel?” The same, sickening panic swelled in Pine again. She was so, so tired of its familiarity. She’d felt it more since she’d come to Portfade than the entire rest of her life.
Blue studied her then made a face. “Maybe I should put you out for this. What do you think? Just put you to sleep. Then you won’t—”
“No! No. You can’t.” Despite how kind Blue had been, how much she’d already helped, she couldn’t let Blue put her to sleep; she just couldn’t. Look what had happened the last time she’d trusted one of them. If she does, you’ll never wake up again. They would disassemble her, picking over her remains like vultures. She scrambled off the table and backed toward the door, keeping her eyes on Blue. She wasn’t going to be so gullible this time.
Blue held up her hands. “Pine, you can trust me—”
“I’m sorry, I can’t…I just can’t.” The room grew smaller, forcing her closer to Blue’s wicked needle. The door behind Pine opened, and she stumbled back against the solid weight of James.
“Pine? What’s going on?” He caught sight of the tools Blue had been gathering. “What the hell are you doing?” He pushed Pine behind his back, his arm around her. With him between her and Blue’s instruments, the room expanded again. James was here.
You’re safe.
“I’m trying to fix her.” The Blue Fairy was clearly becoming exasperated. “Isn’t that why you called me?”
James tightened his arm around Pine. “Yes, but—”
“But what? If you don’t let me fix her, what are you going to do? Let Joseph see her like this? Take her to the maintenance shop? How would you explain her injuries? The authorities would snatch her away from Joseph in an instant, and you’d never see her again. You know that.”
James stiffened, and Pine knew Blue spoke the truth. She buried her face in his back, though trying to delay was pointless. “James, please.”
“I’m sorry, Pine, but she’s right.” His voice was gentle. “You have to let her do this, or I don’t know what will happen. You can’t—you can’t leave here looking the way you do.”
“How do I look, James? What did they do to me?” The paper gown gave away none of its secrets.
“Pine, you don’t—you don’t need to see it. Just let Blue fix you up, and I’ll take you home.”
“No! If she puts me to sleep, I won’t wake up. What if she takes me apart?”
“She won’t, I promise. I’ll be here with you the entire time. You—” His voice grew hesitant, as though he already knew the answer and it wasn’t the one he wanted to hear. “You trust me, don’t you?”
Did she? Her first instinct was no, of course not. But he had come to find her, not once but twice. He’d been beaten, and yet he came for her, she who represented some of his worst nightmares. He’d stayed with her, gotten help for her. And he was still here, protecting her. So did she trust him?
“Yes. I trust you.” Maybe it was crazy, and she was making a mistake, but there it was.
The stiffness melted from him and his back shuddered as he drew a ragged breath. “Thank you, Pine. I promise, I won’t move from your side.” He helped her back onto the table and glanced up at The Blue Fairy. “Let’s get this over with as quickly as possible.”
“We can do it quick, or we can do it well. And since I’m in charge, it might take some time. But,” she added, with a strangely comforting smile, “you’ll never be able to tell what happened. You’ll look as good as new.” She peered into Pine’s eyes. “Pine, can I please help you?”
“Yes.” Pine wasn’t afraid anymore. “Thank you.”
“It’s my honor,” Blue replied, and she began cutting the paper away.
The damage was even worse than James had feared. Her synthetic skin hung off her body in ribbons. Wherever it was intact, there were gouges and dirty, bloody footprints. If she’d been human… She’s not, so don’t think about it. He just hoped she didn’t look down.
But she did.
Her gaze travelled the length of her body slowly, her face expressionless. Once finished, her only reaction was to rub some of the tattered skin wistfully between her fingers.
Could synadroids be in shock? “It’s going to be okay, Pine. I know it looks bad, but—” But what? Don’t make her any promises you can’t keep.
“It’s fine,” she said. “It’s not the worst I’ve seen.”
His mouth dropped open. “Not the worst you’ve seen? Are you joking?” She had to be.
“No,” she said, obviously amused by his reaction. “I lived in the ocean, James. Do you know how big some of the sharks are there? Not to mention the other beasts. Although,” she mused, “I never did understand why they couldn’t tell the difference between us and the humans.”
Horrified, James could only shake his head. She’d just touched on something he feared even more than rogue synadroids.
Pine smil
ed, her lips curved in an expression he couldn’t quite interpret. “James, it’s fine.”
But it wasn’t, and that made it so much worse. They’d done this to her, knowing she wasn’t likely to die. Knowing she could feel the damage they were inflicting on her, that she had no choice but to endure it. The next time she raged about how awful humans were, he wasn’t going to argue.
As Blue worked, James fretted. He’d never felt as useless as he did right now. She looked so fragile and vulnerable, his hands ached to gather her up in his arms and protect her. He regretted saying what he had earlier, scolding her like a child. He’d been unable to do anything else, desperate to have her understand. It was so unlike him. He’d never been this volatile on the battlefield.
“Are you sure she can’t feel anything?” he burst out when Pine winced as Blue melded together a particularly large patch of skin. “Because—”
“She can’t, I promise you. I turned off her sensors the moment we got her here. It might feel a bit strange, but it won’t hurt.” She paused. “May I continue?”
“Yes,” he said, his throat tight. Her reassurance wasn’t much comfort.
“I wasn’t asking you,” Blue said sardonically. “Pine?”
“Yes, please.” Pine’s voice was steady, and James’s heart squeezed. She was such a strong woman. Why hadn’t he seen it before? Because it was her strength you were afraid of.
“James, are you okay? I mean, you were hurt too.” Pine peered into his face.
In truth, he was feeling a bit woozy. Despite being treated by Blue, every bruise, every split in his own skin throbbed. But it was superficial, and he’d had far worse. “I’m fine. Blue fixed me up as much as she could.”
Pine nodded, although she didn’t look reassured.
He ran a thumb over her knuckles and smiled. “I used to be a soldier, Pine. I never stopped in the middle of a battle to put a bandage on.”
“Why don’t you distract yourself by telling us what happened?” Blue asked Pine. “James gave me his version, but tell me yours.” She pressed the edges of a tear together and passed a device over the line, fusing the seams with a faint scent of burning rubber. “It’ll make the time pass faster, if nothing else.”