by Toni Aleo
“Whatever makes you happy, lovely.”
She rests her face on mine, lacing our fingers together. “I want you to be happy.”
“I am happy.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m more than sure.”
I am. I really am.
I wish my mom could see and support that. I’ve never had a life without her. She’s always been there for me. My constant supporter. I hate the thought of pushing her away because of the person I am in love with and making a life with, but what choice do I have? I either choose to live life without my mom or without Posey. Only one of those scenarios is impossible to me, which I’m pretty sure makes me a fucked-up son. But why should I have to choose? I get that she doesn’t think the world of Posey and her family, but can’t she support the love I have for them? Can’t she see I am beyond happy? Doesn’t she want that for me?
I want that for me.
Which is why it’s so easy for me to choose my future.
Chapter Five
Boon
I think it’s a myth that hockey players are good golf players.
Or maybe I just suck big donkey dick.
When I shank the ball to the left toward the cart path for the second time this morning, I try not to slam this stupid club into the ground. Instead, I turn to my future father-in-law with a bashful look on my face and confess, “I may suck at this.”
Shea laughs from where he is lounging in the golf cart. He’s entirely too big for it, but he somehow fits with one leg on the front and his coffee cup in his hand. “I wouldn’t say suck… You are super tense. Nervous. Am I making you nervous?”
I scoff. “No.” Fuck yes. The last time I was this close to him, he popped me one. “I’m fine.”
Great, now I sound like Ross Geller from Friends. I’m fine. Fine!
“Yeah, you’re totally fine.” He laughs as I start toward him. “Get in. We’ll drive a bit and drink some coffee. Maybe make them Irish, calm you a bit.”
“You are a great man, Shea Adler.” I get in, taking a thermos cup from him. He then fills mine before I add, “As your daughter tells me often.”
Shea beams. “Posey. Man, that’s my baby girl,” he says proudly before handing me a bottle of Jameson. I open the bottle with my teeth as he continues. “She’s always had a special place in my heart. I think it’s because she reminds me most of Elli. Both my girls are like their mother, but especially Posey. Headstrong, stubborn, gorgeous, and frustrating as all hell.”
“Yeah, Posey is all that,” I say, laughing before taking a sip of my now very strong coffee. “She is the most unconfident confident woman I have ever met.”
Shea grins. “At least she’s unconfidently confident. Elli was unconfident, and man, it drove me crazy.”
“Really? I would never imagine that from her.”
“Not now that she is loved right. But she went through some real issues with weight gain and then weight loss, her family was awful to her, and then she had this shit dude she almost married. She didn’t know how to love herself, and it took me loving her really hard for her to learn how to do the same. Since then, I’ve never looked back. Made it my mission to love her enough that she could do it for herself.”
“Wow,” I say, studying his profile. The love of Elli and Shea Adler is one for the movies, but listening to him speak of her, just him and me, it’s amazing. Do I look like this when I talk about Posey? I want to love Posey enough that she loves herself even more than I do. She deserves it. She’s stunning!
“With Shelli, it was different. She knew what she wanted and went for it. Aiden Brooks. Did I want them together? Nope. As you know, Aiden didn’t have a very good reputation before Shelli, and it worried me. But to my surprise, he is perfect for her. Shit, anyone who can handle her and her bridezilla ways is worthy of marrying her.”
I laugh loudly. “Man, that wedding is a shitshow.”
“And expensive. So fucking expensive,” he says, laughing with me. “I’m ready for it to be over.”
“I think we all are,” I say before sipping on my coffee. The air is warm against my face, but if Shea’s drinking coffee, I’ll drink coffee. “They’re really good together, though. I watched that happen. They’re solid.”
“I know,” he agrees. “He loves her more than I ever thought he could, and it’s nice to see her in love and happy with the man she always wanted.”
“Yeah. They say it takes the right man to help a woman grow.”
He nods. “I like that.”
“My mom used to say that.” I swallow hard around the lump in my throat.
My mom taught me so much about love. How to love a woman, how to treat them and make them feel worthy. She raised me to be a man who could be a good husband, which is why I don’t understand why she is having issues with Posey and me. I ignored all my mom’s texts and her voice mails. Wes told me she was pretty upset, but even he told her she couldn’t be acting like that. He told her Posey was it for me, and I appreciate that. That’s what I need, support, but Mom doesn’t know how to do that. The thing is, if she had a good reason—Posey was cheating, or she stole my money or something—it would be different. That’s not even close to the issue. She doesn’t like Posey because she has money.
What the ever-loving fuck?
“Speaking of your mom—”
I hold my breath, the cup at my lips as I wait for him to ask me the question I really don’t want him to ask.
“What happened with her yesterday? You seemed pretty upset.”
I blow out a breath as I lower my cup. I stare at the black liquid as it sloshes a bit from the bumps on the cart path. “Can I ask you something?”
I feel him look at me, though I don’t look back at him. After a second, he says, “Sure…”
“How do you feel about me?”
“Feel about you?”
“Yes. What do you think of me?”
He sucks in air through his teeth. “So, we’re jumping right in?”
“Yup,” I sigh. “Figure it’s the point of this.”
“I underestimated you.”
I grin. “I don’t want any unopened doors. I love Posey. I want to be wanted.”
His laser-like blue eyes meet mine, and he nods slowly. “Okay… Well, your golf game is shit.” My face breaks as he laughs. “I kid, I kid. Not really—it does suck—but that’s not what I think of you.”
I find I’m sweating as I wait for him to answer.
“You actually terrify me.”
“Excuse me?” I ask, because surely I heard him wrong.
He still laughs. “Seriously,” he says simply, turning along the path. “I’m glad I didn’t know about you and Posey from the start. I would have tried to break you up.”
That doesn’t surprise me, but I ask, “You would have? Why?”
“Oh yeah, because you are the kind of guy Posey would fall for and would never recover from.”
Talk about being kicked in the chest. I exhale sharply as I nod. “Well, it’s the same for me. If I ever lost her, I know I wouldn’t come back from that.”
“Exactly, and while I want her to have that person, I wanted her to wait awhile. Live a bit, figure out life. But then, you can’t control when the right person comes into your life.”
“So, you think I’m the right person for her?”
“I do,” he admits. “Which is really hard for me because Shelli found hers early, and I was convinced I’d have some time with Posey, but no such luck.”
I smirk. “I would apologize, but I can’t.”
“Don’t want you to,” he says, looking over at me. “Elli and I discussed how I felt after you two lost the first pregnancy. Elli has and always will be pro-Boon, and while it’s taken me a while, I’m there now. Point is, she asked me if I’d have rather Posey’s heart be broken over and over again before she found you or she found you now. It took me back to all the years I didn’t have Elli. All the women and heartache I went through, and I realized I
wanted Posey to be unbelievably happy. With you, she is.”
I meet his gaze. “Then why do you constantly look at me like you want to kill me?”
He laughs, his blue eyes blazing. “Because you’re taking my sunshine away. My baby girl. As great as you are for her, it doesn’t stop that pain of knowing I won’t be the number one man in her life anymore. That you are now.”
Now, I’ve been kicked in the balls. I let out a slow exhale as I look away.
“Don’t worry. You’ll see how it is when your kids grow up and meet the person they’re meant to be with.”
I beam. “I can’t wait to be a dad.”
“It’s pretty damn awesome. Hard but rewarding.”
“Yeah,” I say slowly. “Not sure how this will work with the team and all.”
He waves me off. “That can be decided later. Right now, enjoy the fact that you’re having a baby, you’re getting married, and we’re about to win the Cup for the second year in a row.”
We knock knuckles before he turns back around to the hole we’re at. There is now a line to tee off, but that’s probably for the best since we aren’t done talking. “My mom doesn’t want me to marry Posey.”
I can feel the anger radiating off Shea, and I feel the same. “Wow, I never saw that coming.”
“I want to say I didn’t, but I don’t believe she ever truly liked Posey.”
“Why?”
I don’t know what to do. Do I lie? I don’t want to cause bad blood between our parents, but in all reality, will my mom even be in my life after Monday? In my head, I keep going over and over what I’ll say or do if she comes. I want her there—but only if she can accept Posey. If she can’t, then she doesn’t need to show up. It’s that simple. But am I doing the right thing? I don’t have a dad to talk to, so I guess Shea was put here for this problem I am having.
“Can this stay between us? I don’t want bad blood between Elli and my mom, and I don’t want Posey’s feelings to be hurt.”
He nods. “Of course.”
“Okay. I guess I need to explain how we’ve gotten to where we are. My ex-fiancée came from really old money, and when she left me, she said it was because I wasn’t from the right class—I guess since I don’t come from money. I come from nothing. And because of how Julia treated me, my mom has this thing about me being around people who are better than me.”
I look over to see him bringing in his brows. “We’re not better than you,” he insists. “If anything, some could say you’re better than us. I earned my money from hockey, but Elli comes from money, Posey comes from money, and well, you don’t. But look at you now. You are self-made. We all work hard, but in the end, we have something to fall back on. You’ve worked your ass off for everything you have, Boon, and I respect that. You should be proud of that. I know your story. I know how you clawed your way into the NHL. No one is better than anyone else. We are equals.”
My heart stops in my chest. “Thank you.”
“Absolutely. I’m sorry your mom feels that way, and if we’ve made you feel—”
“Never. I’ve always felt wanted and worthy of being with Posey.”
“Because you are.” His eyes burn into mine. “So, what did you say?”
I shrug. “Well, I’m marrying Posey on Monday.”
He nods. “How did she handle that?”
“Not good. I don’t think she’s coming to our wedding, and I’m honestly okay with it.”
“Are you?”
“I am,” I say, meeting his gaze once more and leaning back in the cart. I put my feet up on the side, resting my arm against my knee. “I keep playing it over and over in my head. If living without my mom is for the best. And every time, it is, because nothing will ruin what I have with Posey. I love her. She is my future, and I know that.”
“I hear you.”
“And I’m not saying this because you’re her dad, but she’s it for me. I can’t ignore that. The way she makes me feel, how she makes me laugh, how much she trusts and cares for me, I can’t let that go. Every time she walks into a room, I feel like I’ve won the Cup. Over and over again, that fluttery feeling hits me, and it’s all her. She’s just everything for me.”
Shea reaches out and squeezes my shoulder. “I’m really sorry I hit you back in the hospital.”
I laugh, and he smiles. “Emotions were high.”
“And I was an overprotective dick.”
“That too,” I say with a wink, and he laughs harder. As our laughter subsides, we sit quietly watching as the players go by.
When it’s almost time for us to get a club and for me to try this golf shit again, Shea says, “Can I give you some advice?”
I nod. “Sure.”
“I am very lucky to have a family who loves me and supports me. I swear, I shit glitter to my family, but Elli isn’t that lucky. Her family has been awful to her for as long as I’ve known them. In no way, shape, or form am I suggesting you cut your mom out, but Elli did when her family fucked with her happiness, and I swear, the woman I love now is not the woman I loved then. She is way better off. I don’t know you two’s relationship, but I don’t understand how your mom can watch you and Posey together and not accept how great you two are.”
I swallow as I nod in agreement. “That’s what I said.”
He squeezes my shoulder once more. “Well, no matter what, you’ve got us, and we’re a hoot.”
I snort as we get out. “I feel ‘hoot’ is putting it mildly.”
Shea grins. “We sure as hell aren’t boring.”
“That’s the damn truth.”
And I wouldn’t want my future family any other way.
One thing is for sure—there will be nonstop laughs and endless love.
Something I never experienced before I met Posey.
Chapter Six
Posey
“Even being nine weeks, you’re still smaller than I was when I got married.”
I give my mom a sweet smile as she and my aunts, Harper and Grace, help me into my mom’s wedding dress. Of course, when they get to my hips, my mom has to rub my belly. It’s her new thing. She’s known about the baby for less than twenty-four hours, and I’m pretty sure she’s rubbed my belly about a thousand times. I love how excited she is, and in return, it excites me.
“Are you sick?” Harper asks, and I shake my head.
“Not now. I was at the beginning of the month, but it was just nausea, not vomiting.”
“That’s good,” Grace says as they help me put my arms in. “I was god-awful sick with Ryan and not the least bit with Amelia.”
“The boys, I was good, but the girls drained me, and I was puking at every turn,” my mom says as she turns me so they can zip me up. It’s a little big in the front, but I’m not wearing a good bra. No bra, that is.
“With Ally, I was sick as a dog, and I don’t think Sadie, our surrogate, was sick with Journey, but I wasn’t sick with Jamie.”
I see the pain on Harper’s face from losing what would have been her last child, but she quickly looks to my mom as she nods, and Mom looks at me. “So, really, it’s a toss-up.”
“I just want a healthy baby. I want them to be okay.”
“We all do,” Mom says, kissing my cheek as she pats my lower back. “All right, turn around.” I do as she asks and then look into the tall mirror in my mom’s bedroom. It’s like I’m stuck in a time warp. I can remember hiding in my mom’s closet and gazing at this dress. Dreaming of my Prince Charming and having all the babies with him while living in our castle in Ireland. Don’t ask; I watched P.S. I Love You when I was a kid and never truly recovered.
I can’t believe this is real, yet here I am, standing in my mom’s dress, ready to marry the man of my dreams, and pregnant to boot. My mom’s dress—well, I guess my dress—is a showstopper. It’s a classic white, with a puffy skirt like a Disney princess’s dress. The overlay on all the poof is a beautiful, complex lace, showcasing beautiful and complex flowers. At the top are thi
n straps, and it has a wide-open back, with a modest but sexy V for the neckline. The bodice has the same designs of flowers and vines all over it, making the dress timeless but Southern. Which describes my mom to a T.
And now me.
I swish the skirt around, and a small smile pulls at my lips.
“Oh, Posey.”
“I think if we take in the straps a bit, she won’t need a bra,” Grace says as she pulls a strap tighter, which completely helps the boobie situation. “You look stunning, maybe even more gorgeous than your mom on her special day.”
I scoff. “Doubtful.”
“It’s true. We were both there.” Harper pulls my other strap, and it’s perfect. I look like a bride. I swallow thickly as emotion takes over. I didn’t even know I wanted to wear my mom’s dress and have a ceremony, but now that it’s happening, I feel like I could cry with happiness.
My mom, who is on the verge of tears, nods her head. “Totally. You’re perfect, my love.”
I smile softly as I exhale. “Thanks, guys.”
“Now, you have a choice in veils,” Mom says, holding up her birdcage one. “I did this.”
Grace grabs her long, cathedral veil before presenting it to me. Harper does the same with her tiara. I’m unsure how to make this decision since I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. “I think I want to do flowers.”
Mom squeals as Harper nods. “That will be stunning,” Grace gushes. “What kind?”
“White orchids. It’s the flower Boon brought me when I was recovering.”
They all three beam with tears in their eyes. “It’s going to be stunning, all of this,” Mom says, taking my hand in hers and swinging our arms together. “I rented a taco truck for the reception dinner. All the chairs are being set up as we speak, Grace sent her team to decorate the gazebo with candles, and it’s going to be perfect!”
“I’m honored you want to get married there,” Grace whispers, and I’m overly emotional at the moment. My uncle James bought Grace land and put a gazebo on it to woo her. She was reluctant after being hurt so many times, but James was the love of her life. It’s the reason she hasn’t found anyone else since his death. She’s still so heartbroken without him, as are all of us. Cancer is a coldhearted bitch.