“Yes, I really am. I apologize if I made you uncomfortable.”
“No, God, no! I mean … wow! I’d never have guessed. Obviously. Wow! I’m really sorry I called you a dick. Oh my God! I can’t believe I called a priest a dick!”
I grinned at her. “Apology accepted. Well, look after yourself, Jenny. And don’t forget your warm-downs. Remember, God is watching,” then I winked at her and walked away.
That little encounter made me smile. It happened sometimes. I knew it was vanity talking, but being appreciated by a beautiful woman never got old. Even though she hadn’t done a thing for me.
My mind leapt back to the red-haired girl with the sad green eyes, and my smile fell. Nope, not quite as immune as I’d been telling my smug self.
Fuck.
Chapter Four
Mariana
When I arrived back at the shithole that I loosely termed ‘home’, Cornelius was just leaving and Juanita was wasted, passed out on the kitchen floor.
“She’s no good, Blue,” he said sadly, before running his eyes over my body, then reaching out to touch my cheek.
I backed away from him cautiously, my eyes never leaving his hands. Cornelius was the local pimp-master, a white dude with blond dreads who talked like a brother. Bastard was fast with a knife, too. I was faster, but he had a longer reach and was a thousand times meaner. They said he’d killed more than one whore who’d dissed him.
Juanita was a fool to get mixed up with him—I’d told her a hundred times to stay the fuck away from him.
“You should come work for me, Blue,” he said with a leer. “I’ll get you the best jobs, top dollar. You wouldn’t have to work the street. I’ll keep you happy. You wan’ a little something in advance?” and he held out a small packet of ice toward me.
“You know I don’t touch that shit, Cornelius. And I like being my own boss.”
He frowned.
“Woman needs a man to mind her affairs.” Then he checked his watch and headed for the door. “You’ll be working my team one day, Blue. Be seein’ ya.”
I made sure he’d really gone before I stepped over Juanita’s body then changed my mind and kicked her in the stomach. She groaned and opened one eye.
“Stop smokin’ shit, bitch!”
She looked up at me blearily then threw up over herself.
I tried to jump out of the way, cursing as I felt the warm splatter on my bare toes.
Gross!
Juanita had just used up all her chances with me. The sooner I moved on with my plan and got the hell out of here, the better.
I checked that she hadn’t invited anyone else back to party with her tonight, but the house was empty and I wondered if the other girls had already moved out with Cornelius—creepy asshole. Not that I cared—if they were dumb enough to let a man rule their lives and take all their money, that was their problem.
I rinsed my feet in cold water in the disgusting bathroom, then finally locked myself in my room and stretched out on the mattress I’d shoved into the corner of the room.
The priest bastard had felt sorry for me. I’d seen the pity in his eyes. Well, soon enough, he’d know what it was like to be at the bottom of the heap, the shit on everyone’s shoes. I’d kill him with his own kindness.
Six days later, I moved out of the crappy little shithole for good.
Juanita watched me pack, wiping at the tears spilling down her filthy face.
“What am I gonna do without ya, Blue? Ain’t we friends?”
I turned around to stare at her. I didn’t do friends. This chick had latched onto me a year ago when I got out of juvie. I’d let her because … I had no idea why. I hadn’t minded so much at first, but lately, she’d been getting on my nerves, high all of the time and I knew that Cornelius was her supplier. I also knew that he was using her to get to me. He’d already made me a couple of offers and laughed when I spit in his face. I’d told her he was a nasty piece of shit, but she’d lied about knowing what I was talking about, which meant she was dumber than she looked.
“I’m leaving you my clothes,” I said.
I couldn’t take them with me and most of them were cheap crap anyway. Juanita’s tears dried immediately and her eyes glittered as she started rifling through the plastic bags I kept them in.
“You leavin’ your silver mini skirt, Blue? For real! ‘Cause that is the bomb—it makes my legs look awesome.”
“Yeah, all yours,” I said without interest.
She was welcome to it. She’d lost so much weight since she’d started using crack that she could probably fit into my things now.
She grabbed the bags and dragged them into her room, squealing like a Valley Girl as she picked over it all.
Not caring whether she noticed or not, I levered up the loose floorboard and pulled out the strip of photographs, the smiling faces mocking me.
She was still hunched over crappy consignment clothes and a bunch of stolen junk when I was ready to go.
“Hey, Neeta…” she looked up, smiling. “Stay off the shit, yeah? And stay away from Cornelius.”
“Sure, sure, Blue,” she said, not meeting my eyes.
I didn’t say goodbye.
Outside, the heat was growing and the Santa Anas brought in hot, dry wind from the landward side. I liked warmth as much as the next person, but this was brutal and unrelenting, and far too freakin’ hot for this time of year. It fit my mood.
The bus was crowded again and I had nothing to read while I was shoved up against the window by a guy who must have weighed 300 pounds and stunk of fish.
When we finally reached my stop, I was vomited up with the rest of the people riding the bus in the sweltering heat.
I found a place to stash the one bag of clothes that I’d kept, then headed for the street where I’d find the most action. A lot of girls liked working the Base or places those sailor boys hung out. They were always clean, I mean they’d showered, so that was something. And they were regularly forced to get tested. But I wouldn’t touch a Navy boy. Since I’d learned about my dear ole dad, it seemed kind of incestuous. So I had standards? It was a surprise to me, too.
I’d planned tonight like a military operation—yeah, I was all over that shit. I just needed to find the right mark at the right time, then I’d bring him back to the alley I’d staked out last week.
Some of these girls on the street didn’t like the idea of competition from me, but when I made one of the bitches bleed, the others left me alone. I also knew I’d better watch my back, but I wasn’t planning on working this neighborhood for long.
I found a good spot about 60 yards from the alley and where I could keep the rectory in sight. Five minutes before my target was due to leave for basketball practice, I got cruised by a guy in an ugly polyester suit.
“How much?” he grunted, grabbing his balls and tugging at them, like that would be a turn on or something. These guys were delusional.
“Twenty for a blowjob.”
He frowned. “I need more than that. I’m gonna fuck your tight little pussy.”
“Sugar, I suck like a hoover and blow like the north wind. Trust me, after you’ve had these lips around your dick, you won’t want nothin’ else. Otherwise, go ask one of those dried up cunts down the street. You want young and juicy, follow me to my office.”
“You’ve got a mouth on ya, kid.”
He licked his lips and I knew he’d follow me to the gates of hell.
In the gloom of the alley, I grabbed a thick piece of cardboard and fell to my knees, unzipping his pants and pulling out his dick. It was already swollen and purple, so I rolled a condom down him, smacking his balls hard when he started to protest. Yeah, he loved that. Sick fucker. I took him in my mouth and started to work the tip, keeping one eye on the rectory.
And there he was. Right on time.
I moaned and groaned like I was auditioning for Porn Hub, then squealed for real when the john tugged my hair hard.
Two seconds later, Gabriel�
��s fist made a satisfying thud against the john’s cheek. He hadn’t even yelled a warning—how very un-Christian.
I rocked back on my heels and dug my nails into my thigh to bring tears to my eyes.
“You lowlife piece of shit!” Gabriel snarled at the cowering dude. “Get the hell out of here before I call the cops.”
The john ran, tucking his limp dick into his pants.
I sniffled a bit more, then looked up, feeling the intensity of Gabriel’s hot gaze on me.
“Are you okay?” His voice was gentle and low, concern softening his tone. “Did he hurt you?” I blinked up at him, my eyes wide. “He’s gone now. He can’t hurt you anymore. I saw you a couple of days ago, didn’t I? I’m Father Gabriel, remember me? I live at the rectory just over there. I know you’re in trouble—let me help you, okay?”
Yes, that was very okay. And he’d just played right into my hands.
I let him help me up, stumbling slightly and wincing as if I was injured.
“Are you hurt?”
I whimpered realistically but shook my head.
“What’s your name?”
I hesitated, biting my lip, then answered as if the word was being yanked out of me.
“Blue.”
“That’s your name? It’s unusual—especially since your hair is red…”
He paused, frowning, and I wondered what he was thinking. I definitely wasn’t going to tell him that I’d earned my nickname for getting the record when I blew the most johns in one night.
I stared up at him. It was kind of annoying that I had to since I wasn’t the tallest girl and he was a big guy.
“Look, Blue, do you have someone you can call? Anyone to help you?” I shook my head again and he ran his hands over his head, his tell for being frustrated. “You got a place near here maybe?”
I met his questions with silence, staring up with as much trust as I could muster. I should have won a fucking Oscar.
“Okay, well, I know a place, a shelter not far from…”
“No!” I said sharply, backing away from him. “No shelters.” Then I deliberately added a tremble to my voice. “I’m never going back to one of those places,” and I shuddered. “I can stay here.”
His eyebrows shot up.
“In the alley?”
“Sure, why not? It’s not gonna rain tonight.”
“It’s not safe for you, Blue. There’re a lot of bad people who’d hurt you.”
I gave a harsh laugh.
“Yeah, right. Like you’d know. I’ve been on my own forever. I can take care of myself.”
He looked sad, and that pissed me off. The car crash that was my life was his fault, his crime.
“You shouldn’t have to, Blue,” he said softly. “We all need someone to care about us.”
I stared at him as though he was speaking a foreign language, then turned, pretending to leave.
“It’s not like you care,” I sneered. “You’re not gonna help me. You just want to shove me into a shelter so your conscience is clear, right? Well, I’m not going. Not ever. So stick that in your sanctimonious shithole and leave me the fuck alone.”
My temper was beginning to rise and I was letting out too much of how I really felt, but it seemed to shift something inside him.
“Okay, look, I have a place you can stay—it’s small, the attic above our housekeeper’s room. Her granddaughter stays there sometimes, but you can have it for a few days until we figure something out for you. You’ll be safe there, Blue. And I promise—no shelters. Do we have a deal?”
I smiled up at him.
Hell, yeah, we had a deal.
Part Two of Operation Nemesis completed.
Amen.
Chapter Five
Gabriel
Blue.
Blue balls.
I could not control my mind today. Since the second I’d woken up, I was at the Devil’s mercy and that horny, pointy-tailed piece of shit was laughing like hell.
I’d clocked that asshole john without a second thought. Just seeing him groaning in pleasure, his hand on the back of her head, broke me. And I hated him.
I wanted to be him.
I wanted her plump lips wrapped around my own cock. It had been so long, so, so long, I’d almost forgotten what it felt like.
Almost.
But sometimes, when I lay in my bed at night, no matter if I’d drank one glass of whiskey or ten to help me sleep, I tormented myself by allowing my mind to remember, reveling in my memories, the shapes and sounds, the colors, the smells, the women. God forgive me, all those women.
In those moments, I was not a shepherd, not a father figure, but a man, an animal, an uncontrollable insatiable beast.
I took another look at Blue. I tried to force myself from eye-fucking her but my gaze narrowed on her tits.
I prayed to my Savior. Forgive me. Help me.
Was he testing me?
She looked up and licked her lips. She was definitely on to me—she could tell I was lusting after her.
Time to take control.
“So Blue, tell me your real name?”
She shook her head, her long red curls flying through the air. “Nope. I don’t know you well enough to tell you a secret.”
She was playing with me, dare I say flirting with me. Over the years, plenty of parishioners had flipped up their lashes, broke into dazzling smiles, and twirled their hair. I’d even read a few reviews of our church saying that I was Father Hottie, Father Gabe the Babe, or Father Oh Em Gee.
OMG—a real-life Navy SEAL and a priest?! Forgive me, father, I have sinned. I got those comments a lot.
I must admit, that attention had caused me reluctant pride. It was satisfying to know that after all these years of suppressing my sexual desires, women still found me attractive. Such vanity, but I couldn’t always stop the impure thoughts. Sometimes, I just didn’t want to.
But I never, ever acted on these innocent flirtations nor the more serious come-ons. And I’d firmly believed that whatever got these women into the door of my church was a blessing from God. I just wanted to help them. Help everyone. Help Blue.
“Why is your name a secret? Your parents gave you that name.”
Her head whipped toward me and a look of rage replaced her previous coy glance.
“Don’t you ever speak about my parents. How fucking dare you—especially since—”
My heart beat rapidly. Had I crossed some line already? She must have had a rough upbringing or she wouldn’t be blowing johns in alleyways. Where were her parents? Did she have anyone at all?
I gazed into her eyes, eyes that strangely felt familiar, though I had no clue why. “Since what?”
She bit her lip and shook her head rapidly. “No. No. I’m not. I won’t. Not yet. It’s too soon.”
“I have no clue what you’re talking about, Blue? Are you on drugs? You aren’t making any sense.”
She nodded her head, her lips pulled back in a rictus smile. “Sure. Drugs. Whatever you want to think of me. I’m a drug-addicted whore. Does that make it easier for you?”
I closed my eyes, the hot San Diego air blowing on my skin. Jesus loved everyone. Including prostitutes. I would not judge. I would accept Blue for who she was, God’s child, and I’d help her no matter what.
It was what Jesus would have done; it was what God wanted me to do now.
She shuddered and moved closer to me. She was probably relieved to find refuge with a man who would not take advantage of her under any circumstances. An honorable man, who sometimes wished he wasn’t honorable all the time.
I reluctantly wrapped my arm around her shoulders and she accepted my embrace. Touching this woman in the moonlight was so … no, she needed me.
And that filled me with impotent rage; that with one look she’d disturbed my peace of mind.
The beast inside me unfurled its talons. Yes, I’d help this lost child, but my darkness and need for blood would find another outlet doing God’s work.
> Tonight the streets would be mine—and the Godless men who walked them would fear me and feel His wrath.
Chapter Six
Mariana
I followed Gabriel into the rectory, one hand in my purse, gripping the handle of my knife. It was so tempting, his broad back an easy arm’s reach in front of me, totally unsuspecting. But that would be too simple—he had to suffer first.
He led me through the silent house that smelled of furniture polish, then up and up the creaking staircase, full of shadows and dust. I made a note of which steps squeaked and which seemed loose. For a big man, Gabriel walked soft. I frowned. I knew that he’d been out of the SEALs for nearly ten years but he wouldn’t forget that training easily. I couldn’t afford to lower my guard.
He was so close to me, I could smell the sweat from the heat of the day on his body.
He paused at the door to the attic room, his large fingers tightening around the handle.
“Are you Catholic, Blue?”
I lifted my chin. “If I say ‘no’, does that mean you won’t help me?”
He shook his head. “No, we’ll help anyone who needs it. Don’t worry about that. You’re safe here.” He paused, seeming at a loss for what to say next as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Mrs. O’Connor is visiting with family tonight, but she’ll be back tomorrow. Uh, there are clean sheets and towels in … you know what? I’ll just go get them for you.”
He left me standing alone in the tiny room. It had one small window, a narrow single and a dresser that must have been a hundred years old, empty.
The coffin-sized room was thick with dust and hadn’t been used in a while; it was also hotter than hell. Was air conditioning against their religion? A sense of claustrophobia crawled up my throat. I wasn’t good with small spaces—when I was a kid, I’d hidden in too many closets while Mom was ‘entertaining’.
I pushed against the window, trying to force open the heavy metal casement stays. I jumped when I felt Gabriel behind me, his heavy body pressing mine against the wooden frame, his longer arm reaching past me and easily opening the window.
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