Skulduggery 2

by Logan Jacobs

  “Okay, just tell me that again in a few minutes when the panic returns,” Dar grunted and tilted his head back against the ledge.

  “Will do, buddy.” I gripped him on the shoulder. “We’ll be okay, we just have to be patient.”

  As Dar predicted, that was much easier said than done. I couldn't remember the last time any elf had been killed by the hands of any other race.

  “Do you see this?” Dar nudged me with his arm as he lay prone on his belly next to me.

  “They’ve brought out the calvary for us,” I muttered as an army of tall pointed shadows squelched in the muddy streets below us. An entire Elven Guard unit patrolled the roads from one side to the next.

  “Maybe we can use the roofs to get out of this area?” I suggested.

  “Those towers might cause some issues if we did that.” Dar pointed to the tower on the neighboring street.

  “True,” I sighed as I rolled back over on my back.

  “They’ll hear our feet, especially mine.” Dar tapped his foot against the tile that clanked. “This shit will give us away from a mile.”

  “Then we stay put like the original plan, and if they come up here after us, we fight,” I said as I closed my eyes and listened to the elven voices throughout the streets around us. “We’re surrounded, Dar.”

  “Fuck,” Dar breathed and dropped his forehead against the roof. “I don’t like this feeling.”

  “Try and sleep,” I said as I yawned. “We’re in the hands of the Ancients now.”

  “Sleep?” Dar scoffed. “And wake up with an elven blade in my gut?”

  “Suit yourself,” I said and tried to relax my racing heart.

  I was trying to keep my hopes up for Dar, but this was all sorts of fucked.

  All we could do was wait until a lull in the elven activity below us happened. I hoped the Elven Guard shift change would give us a bit of time to get down from the roof and at least blend into the streets.

  I must’ve closed my eyes for all of two seconds before they opened to see Dar hovering over me.

  “It’s nearly mid-morning,” he said while his eyes moved from side to side and then back to me.

  “Are they still down there?” I sat up and saw the sun above our heads. “Did we miss the shift change?”

  “Uh … ” Dar peeked over the ledge. “I don’t know, I fell asleep, too. There aren’t as many elves, though.”

  I looked for myself and saw the streets weren’t swarmed with elves any longer. There also weren’t a lot of citizens, either. The elves probably had the district on lock down.

  But this was our chance to get off the roof at least.

  “Let’s get the fuck outta here,” I grunted as I grabbed the ladder and put it on the side of the building to give us some more cover. “Once our feet touch the ground, we’re just normal citizens of the realm headed to work.”

  “That sounds mighty great right about now,” Dar said as he looked to his left and then to his right before he descended the ladder. “All clear.”

  “Coming down.” I followed and climbed down the ladder as well. “Alright, time to walk.”

  Dar and I both looked at each other and moved onto the main street that led to the Entertainment District.

  I tucked my elf blood covered hand in the pocket of my cloak and tried to look as normal as possible as we walked along the road. A few of the shop stalls were still closed even though it was mid-morning.

  “Hungry fellas?” A halfling on the corner of the road waved for our attention over the smoke of his food wagon.

  The smell of bacon kissed my nose and caused a waterfall in my mouth.

  “Hungry?” Dar turned to me and then scanned the entire area like a hungry lion.

  “Of course,” I grunted, “but I want to get the hell outta here.”

  “We’ll look more normal, anyway.” He reached into his coin pouch and pulled out a few coppers. “Two bacon sandwiches, please.”

  “Right away, right away.” The cook slapped four pieces of bread and bacon on the smoking griddle in front of him and glanced up at us.

  “Looks like you’re one of the few shops open today,” I began. “People still celebrating the holiday?”

  “Eh, not too sure,” the worker kept his head down, “I think something pissed the elves off last night.”

  “What makes you say that?” I asked.

  “You haven’t heard?” The worker’s shifty eyes widened as he flipped the bacon over on the griddle.

  “We had to work.” I sniffed the savory smell of the bacon. “We’re clueless as to what happened the last twelve hours or so.”

  “Ah, well the fuckin’ elves through down a last minute curfew for the holiday and then … ” The cook’s eyes widened and then moved directly behind me.

  The syrupy smell of magic suddenly overpowered the bacon.

  “That curfew was for your own protection, you tiny pig.” An Elven Guard stepped beside me, and his black and gold armor sparkled in the rising sun.

  “I understand, I was just--” The cook dropped his spatula and gripped onto his throat as the Elven Guard stepped closer.

  “You were just what?” the elf sneered and stopped just before the wagon. “Mocking the Empire?”

  The cook gurgled and began to foam at the mouth.

  “That makes you a rebel … ” The elf lowered his head, and the cook dropped to the dirt, clawed at the ground, and gasped for air. “You don’t know how lucky you all have it.”

  “Forgive me,” the cook croaked out through a crushed windpipe.

  “Let’s hope the commander does.” The elf moved around the wagon and lifted the cook by the collar.

  “Wade, we need to go … ” Dar tugged at my arm.

  “You’ll both need to eat somewhere else.” The elf glanced to Dar and me with his ruby eyes. “Unless it was something you said that turned this man into a rebel.”

  “That wasn’t the case at all, my lord.” I nodded at the elf but avoided eye contact as I did.

  “Very well.” The elf gripped onto the cook’s collar and began to drag him away.

  “They aren’t fucking around,” Dar muttered as he walked the opposite way of the elf. “Let’s move, man”

  As we made our way out of the Halfling District, more Elven Guards were moving into positions on each corner. That was not a good sight, especially if we were to be distributing illegal whiskey.

  “You still have the bottle?” I asked Dar as we walked as calmly as possible.

  “Fuck,” Dar hissed. “I dropped it in the courtyard after I--”

  “That’s okay.” I nodded.

  That was both good and bad. It was good because we didn’t have to worry about the bottle being discovered on us if we were searched, but it was bad because now the elves knew whiskey was being made somewhere in the realm.

  “We still have to worry about your blue fuckin’ hand,” Dar said through a clenched jaw as we approached the exit of the Halfling District.

  I could smell the Entertainment District’s aroma of food and piss just ahead, but four elves stood with silver spears and blocked the way. Two of them questioned anyone entering the Halfling District while the other two handled anyone leaving. We joined the small line that waited to leave.

  “What’s the plan?” Dar asked as he wiped sweat from his brow.

  “We stay calm,” I said as we stepped closer and were next in line. “We’re just two fellas going to work.”

  “What if the--”

  One of the Elven Guards pushed the old halfling who was in front of us onto the ground.

  “We don’t have time for stupidity,” the pointy nosed guard spat on the silver-haired halfling. “Now, out with it! Why are you leaving the district?”

  “I-I-I … I-I-I,” the old man stuttered, and it seemed to be more of a medical condition rather than fear.

  “I think you broke him,” the other elf chuckled, moved over to the old halfling, and lifted him up to his feet.

&n
bsp; “I-I-I’mmm--” the old man started but didn’t have a chance to finish.

  “You’re taking too long, fool!” The elf tossed the old halfling into a pile of mud. “Next!”

  Fucking bastards.

  “Speak your business,” the other elf ordered and moved his spear in front of my chest as we approached them.

  “We’re trying to get to work,” I said.

  “Where?” the elf questioned.

  “The theatre in the Entertainment District,” Dar answered.

  “And you both live here?” the elf asked as he narrowed his silver eyes.

  “Yes,” I replied.

  My heart hammered in my chest, and I felt blood rush to my head.

  “What do you do at the theatre?” the elf who tossed the old halfling asked.

  “We’re doing some maintenance for the owner, my lord,” I said with a nod.

  “A halfling and human in business together?” the elf snickered. “How disgusting.”

  “We are just trying to make a living, my lord.” Dar bowed slightly.

  Fuck, I hated that.

  “Fine.” The elf moved aside. “Off you go.”

  “I’ve had enough of elves for the day,” I muttered once we were far enough away and then felt the tension in my shoulders ease a bit.

  “Me too,” Dar exhaled in relief.

  It was now the afternoon, and we made our way through the busy streets of the Entertainment District and closer to the theatre. My stomach was filled with relief, but I still kept glancing over my shoulder and could have sworn I saw someone following us.

  “We being tailed?” I asked.

  “I haven’t noticed,” Dar replied. “Want me to pay closer attention?”

  “Yeah,” I said under my breath. “Let’s loop this street again. I thought I saw someone with blond hair twice in a row at the same distance.”

  “Got it.”

  We made a left at the next alley, and then passed through it and onto the parallel street. Then we made another left so we were traveling away from the theater. Instead of making it obvious that we were checking over our shoulders, Dar and I did our usual strategy of checking shop windows, buying a snack from a breakfast stand, and then pausing leisurely on the side of the road to let carts pass. Eventually, we made another left into an alley, got to our original street, and made a fourth left.

  “I don’t see anyone,” Dar said after we walked for a few minutes back toward the theatre.

  “Must have been nothing,” I said.

  “Yah,” Dar snickered. “There ain’t a body in the city that can tail us when we are aware of it.”

  “You think Cimarra or Penny even noticed we were gone all night and morning?” I asked my friend.

  “I’m sure they did,” Dar yawned.

  “Well, I hope we didn’t worry them too much,” I sighed.

  “Even if we did, we made it out alive,” Dar said as he clapped me on the shoulder. “I don’t know how, but we did.”

  “Just another day in the life,” I said as we turned down the familiar alley next to the theatre.

  “Man, I’ve never been happier to see these fuckin’ stables,” Dar groaned as he walked up to the door and opened it for both of us.

  “Ah, almost better than the bacon.” I sniffed the air, and the sour smell from the mash had turned sweeter. It was almost time to distill.

  “G’night,” Dar mumbled as he made a beeline right for his bed.

  “Sleep tight,” I chuckled and watched my friend collapse like a cut-down tree.

  Then I found a bucket and filled it with some water so I could wash off the only evidence of our elven murder. I dipped my hands into the lukewarm water and scrubbed for a good twenty minutes. No matter how hard I scrubbed, the blood was barely coming off. As I continued to wash my hands, the stable door squeaked open behind me.

  “Hey, ya okay?” Penny asked as her soft steps approached from behind. “I think someone pissed off the elves near the Halfling District last night. The pointy ears are everywhere.”

  “Oh, we’re great.” I smirked up at her. “We’ve been busy expanding our business.”

  “So, you got some ne--” She tilted her head and widened her eyes. “Why is your hand blue? Did you?”

  “I didn’t, if that’s what you want me to say.” I pursed my lips as I scrubbed my hands.

  “Wade … ” Penny knelt next to me and leaned over the bucket. “That’s elf blood, isn’t it?”

  “It is?” I asked innocently.

  “Don’t fuck with me, where’s Dar?” A sudden look of panic washed over her cute face. “Are you the ‘someone’ who pissed off the elves?”

  “He’s snoring in his stall, don’t worry, we’re both okay,” I said and lifted my hand out of the water to see some blue residue still underneath my fingernails.

  “Did you?” Penny’s mouth hung open. “Did you kill--”

  “Yes, they got in our way last night, and as I said after we dealt with Adi, anyone who gets in our way will have to die.”

  “An elf, though?” Penny massaged her head. “Shit, Wade.”

  “Three elves actually,” I corrected.

  “Three?” She raised her eyebrows.

  “We didn’t leave any trace of us behind,” I reassured her before she could even ask. “We had to stay on a roof all night, but that’s the worst of it.”

  “Damn, I don’t want to keep stirring up the elves.” She bit her bottom lip as she stared at me.

  “With what we’re doing, it’s impossible not to,” I said and dug under my nails to get the last of the blood out.

  “Well, I just got done picking some pockets for an hour,” Penny said as she jingled her satchel by her side. “As I did, I not only heard of what you did last night, but I also caught wind of some more elf news you should know.”

  “Okay … ” I gestured for her to continue.

  “The Elven Guard commander has opened an investigation on the painting heist we pulled off, and now we’re linked with three elven murders, too.”

  “We aren’t linked to anything.” I stood as I wiped my hand dry on my trousers. “They don’t know a damned thing.”

  “I hope it stays that way, Wade,” she muttered.

  “It will,” I replied.

  “Okay … ” Penny cleared her throat. “So, we have a few new customers?”

  “Yeah, two halflings Selius knew,” I said as I picked up the bucket full of cloudy blue water. “They want two small kegs starting this coming week. We’ll have just enough for Hebal and the two halflings with our current batch.”

  “For how much?” Penny asked as she followed me to the far corner of the stable where I placed the bucket down.

  I didn’t want to pour it out on the ground and risk the blood staining the dirt or even the stable wall. I needed to be extra cautious.

  “Ten gold per small keg.” I glanced behind me and saw her smirk.

  “Not bad.” She nodded in approval. “How much would you charge for an entire barrel then?”

  “Sixty gold.” I chuckled at the thought alone. “Without the middleman, we become the only man.”

  “Damn.” Penny sat on a chair near the table where the stolen picture still lay untouched. “What would we do with that kind of coin?”

  “Not sure, yet. I have some things I’m working through in my mind.” I scratched at my chin. “Put most of it back into the business at first, then we triple our income, and we become very rich, very quick. Maybe rich enough to not be worried about elven complications.”

  “We aren’t normal thieves anymore, huh?” Penny’s eyes drifted toward her knee as it bobbed up and down.

  “No, we aren’t. ” I joined in watching her knee bounce. “Those days are gone. I even forgot my pick set in my other cloak last night.”

  “The ultimate sin,” she chuckled as she slowed her knee to a stop.

  “I’m never doing that again, though,” I said and stared at the bucket of bloody water in the cor
ner.

  “I hope not,” Penny said as she followed me with her eyes. “Where you taking the bucket?”

  “I’m thinking the river, wanna come?” I asked as I picked up the sloshing liquid.

  “If we’re going to the river, we might as well fill up our water kegs.” Penny pointed toward the four large metallic kegs Dar had taken from Adi’s a while back.

  “I owe you a water trip, anyway.” I nodded with a smirk.

  “Damn right, you do, bastard.” Penny returned the smile. “I saw a handcart in the horses stable the other day. We can just use that.”

  “Is that how you did it before?” I asked as I put the pail of blood down near the kegs since we needed to get the handcart first.

  “I’ll never tell,” Penny snickered and paused at the front door. “By the way, the count was out near the back earlier, so we’ll have to keep our eyes open.”

  “That’s a first … ” I said and leaned across Penny to reach the door handle. “We’ll have to be sneaky.”

  “Yeah, we are good at that,” she said as her eyes dipped to my chest and then fluttered.

  I nudged the door open and made sure the coast was clear, and Penny squeezed in between the door and my arm to look with me. Her ponytail tickled my chin and filled my nose with the scent of a sweet flower, and I let my eyes trail down the white curve of her neck.

  “Looks good to me,” I whispered, and then I pushed the door open.

  “Stay here, I’ll wheel the cart back over, and you can load the kegs,” she instructed as she turned toward the horse stables.

  “Got it,” I replied as I held open the door with my elbow.

  Her red hair dipped in and out as she cut through the bushes and trees that lay between the elephant stables and horses.

  After I lost sight of her, I turned to bring the kegs closer to the door. Once the kegs were in position, I opened the stable door again to wait for the pixie.

  The small hand wagon’s wheels creaked as they moved over the rough terrain, but Penny pushed the cart with ease and steered it over to me.

  “Load her up,” she panted as she put her hands on her hips.

  I grabbed a keg at a time and placed them in the small square cart. All four of the metallic cylinders fit snuggly, and I wondered again how Penny was able to do all of this herself.