by Logan Jacobs
“No, please,” he sobbed. “Don’t kill--”
“You aren’t very convincing,” I said as I jabbed the cane into his ribcage. Something snapped in there, and the count cried out.
“I won’t say anything!” he screamed. “Please, don’t--”
“Here is what’s going to fucking happen,” I growled as I reached down, yanked the fat fucker up by his collar, and then slammed him back into the bookshelf hard enough to topple a few of them from the shelf. “You are going to let me sell my whiskey at your theatre, you are going to collect your admission money, and you are going to get rich. If I even think that you might go to the elves to rat me out, I’m going to murder you in your sleep, and then just hire a halfling to run the show. Do you fucking understand, you fat ugly cunt?”
“Just say yes, Kieran.” Cimarra stood, walked over to me, and put her hand on my shoulder.
“After all I’ve done,” the count sobbed as he glared at her, “you’ve betrayed me to--”
“That’s too bad,” I said as I pulled my dagger out of my belt.
“No, no, no, no!” he sobbed. “Don’t kill me, Wade. Please! Your deal is sound. I’m fine. I just want my theatre. Don’t kill me!”
I threw him over his desk, and the fat man rolled across it like a broken bread roll before he flopped on the other side. Then I put away my dagger, grabbed his cane, and Cimarra and I walked around the desk and stood over him.
“You’ve always been on your belly,” I said as I smacked the sobbing man in the stomach again. “The deal has not changed. I keep all the whiskey money, and we split the entrance fees. Get it?”
“Yessss!” he gasped as he rolled on his side and clutched at his broken chest.
I lightly tapped the cane on his stomach. “As for the business itself, you no longer have a say in any of that. You have proven to be quite the fool, even though you’ve said otherwise.”
“And I’m no longer your dancer,” Cimarra said as she glared down at him. “I’ll continue to mentor and lead the other dancers, but I’m running the business now.”
“Then what good am I?” he pouted as he looked at Cimarra.
“You’re Count Kieran, the host of the greatest show in the realm,” I repeated his introduction and reached my hand out for him to take.
“What happens next?” the count whined from the ground.
“Do you want me to kill you?” I growled.
“No, please--”
“You do what you do best. Get paid to create the best shows you can.” I lifted his lard ass up off the floor and handed him back his cane. “Give us a week or so to create some buzz for a relaunch, and with that, we’ll have some whiskey ready.”
“How can I trust you, and what makes you think you can even trust me?” the count whimpered, and a bit of blood dripped down from his nose.
“To start, I could’ve just killed you, but I didn’t.” I clapped him on the shoulder, and then I raised my scarred palm for him to see. “I’ve taken an oath to kill anyone who gets in my way, and I’ve already killed many who have. So, if you decide to get tricky with me or Cimarra, I will stick your cane down your fucking throat, split you open, and then dump your bloated corpse in the gutter for the rats to feast on.”
“What’s stopping you from doing that right now?” The count swallowed.
“That’s a good question,” I said flatly as I stared into his eyes.
“I’ll be good,” he whined. “I’ll do what you say. Please, don’t kill me, I’ll make the shows good. Cimarra can run everything. I just don’t want to die.”
“Good,” Cimarra said, and the thud from Cimarra’s chastity belt hitting the floor caused the count to slightly jump. “As long as you understand that, then we have a deal.”
The count sighed as he looked at Cimarra.
“We have a deal.” He extended his hand to me.
“My whiskey will be the best thing that’ll ever happen to you,” I promised and shook the chubby man’s hand to solidify the deal.
Chapter 16
Whiskey drizzled from the spigot like it fell from a small rain cloud, and I briefly wondered what a whiskey storm would even look like.
Maybe I was already in one.
“Hotter?” Penny asked as she knelt next to Azure and steered his flame below the vat.
“No, temp is fine, just give it a few moments,” I said while a few more drops trickled out into the wooden bucket underneath the spigot.
“So, we own the theatre now?” Dar wondered and rolled one of the halfling twins’ small kegs closer to the still.
“Kind of,” I said as the whiskey poured in a steady stream now. “Cimarra will handle the business matters. As for us, we just have to worry about making enough whiskey.”
“I’m surprised the fat bastard was okay with that arrangement,” Penny scoffed.
“He isn’t,” I said, “but after I beat the shit out of him, he saw the business opportunity.”
“You beat the shit out of him?” Dar whistled.
“Yeah,” I sighed.
“So, now we have to watch our backs with another asshole looking for revenge?” Penny groaned.
“Naw,” I sighed. “Well, we should keep an eye on him, but he loves his theatre more than anything. As soon as money starts coming in, and we let him upgrade all his acts, he’ll be on board. He just needed a few broken ribs to help him see the way of things.”
“With the addition of the theatre, are we dropping Hebal?” Dar asked while he moved the bucket off to the side and slid the first keg underneath the spigot.
“I haven’t decided, yet … ” I looked at Penny and Dar. “What do you think?”
“What does Cimarra think?” Penny asked as she glanced behind her like the dancer had just walked in. “She’s got the business brains. Where is she anyway?”
“She’s explaining to the rest of the girls she’s no longer a full time dancer and now runs everything,” I said as I checked the fermentation tank to make sure all the liquid mash had transferred over. “We can ask her when she comes back, but my main concern with dropping Hebal is the timing of everything. I don’t want to move on from the dwarf before we’re ready. When we do, it’ll likely come to violence since Hebal won’t lay down easy, and we have to be prepared for that.”
“I think we need to wait and see how the theatre does then,” Dar said as he tapped his foot on the dirt floor and wiped the sweat from his face.
“I agree, how the whiskey sells in the theatre will give us our gauge.” I nudged the small wooden keg that was nearly full. “Our whiskey is what’ll bring people back to the theatre.”
“What if it gets raided by the elves again?” Penny asked as her eyes moved to the painting on the table behind me.
“If we’re careful, they won’t have anything to raid,” I added and peered behind me to where Penny looked.
“You hear from the magic keys yet?” Penny asked while she turned to face Azure and his flame again.
“No, nothing yet,” I muttered. “We have too many other things to worry about anyway, right now.”
“Ain’t that the truth.” Dar motioned to the other wooden keg for the halflings. “Can you grab that for me?”
“Sure.” I easily lifted the keg and brought it close to Dar. “You replace the new one under the spigot, and I’ll move the full one out of the way.”
“Got it.” Dar nodded as the steady stream appeared just below the hole on top of the keg. “Now!”
I dragged the full keg out with a slosh and quickly sealed the hole with a top I hammered down inside of it like a cork. Dar replaced the full keg with the fresh one, and the whiskey pour rang hollow until it pooled at the bottom of the wooden cylinder.
“When are you delivering those?” Penny pointed to the two small kegs.
“We’ll bring the whiskey to the guild and then go with Selius to talk with the twins tonight.” I nodded toward Dar. “It’s still early, and we can finish up Hebal’s batch easy enough.”
“And we can keep the kegs in the guild until we know it’s safe to do the deal?” Dar eyed me and then the keg at his hip. “I don’t want to deal with any more elves again in the Halfling District.”
“Do you think it’s still crazy over there?” Penny wondered.
“I’d assume so,” Dar replied, and his face was strained. “Three dead elves and an investigation of a missing valuable painting from a noble’s home?”
“So, you want to ride into the hornets’ nest tonight with two kegs of whiskey in a cart?” Penny’s eyes were wide, and she shook her head. “Maybe ya two idiots should wait?”
“She’s right,” I acknowledged and walked over to roll one of Hebal’s barrels to the spigot. “We’ll finish the batch tonight, bring the two kegs over to the guild in the morning, and schedule a drop off with the twins for later that day.”
“That works.” Dar motioned for me to repeat our switcheroo process with the barrel and the last of the halflings’ kegs, and then he looked over at Penny and stuck his tongue out. “Ya happy, Mom?”
“It’s better,” she snickered at him.
Then we repeated the same distilling process for the rest of the night until we filled all the barrels. Hebal and the two halflings would have their orders soon. We still had a few days until I had to meet with Hebal, so our next priority was dealing with the twins in the Halfling District.
“Tell Cimarra goodnight for me.” I waved to Penny as she yawned and opened the door.
“Give Azure some extra mutton. He worked hard tonight.” Penny winked at me and smiled.
“Do I get any extra mutton?” Dar chuckled next to me as he sealed the last barrel with a hammer. Then we both grunted as we dragged the final barrel to the far wall.
“Somehow, we finished another order,” I sighed and punched Dar in the arm. “Thanks for your help.”
“Next week might be a little more interesting, huh?” Dar remarked as he moved over to the water keg to wash up a bit.
“That all depends on how quick we can relaunch the theatre.” I ran a hand through my hair and unleashed a yawn from the pit of my stomach. I hadn’t slept too well for the past few days. “I can’t think anymore for tonight.”
“Sleep is the cure for that,” Dar chuckled as he splashed his face with some water. “I’ll feed the dragon, go crash on your hay.”
“Appreciate it.” I yawned again and felt the familiar magical pull on my eyes I’d experienced the last time the keys dragged me into the image of the painting.
I stumbled into the pile of hay I called a bed, and before I could even take a breath in, a thick, murky blackness consumed my mind.
When my eyes opened again, I was no longer in the stables.
There was a light murmur of voices echoing all around my head, and each voice sounded different. One was an emotionless male voice, another was a woman’s, but I recognized the last voice. It was deep, smooth, and in perfect tune.
Eleran, the elven noble.
I strained my eyes to see nothing but murky darkness.
“My brother fought in the battle that painting portrayed,” Eleran’s voice bounced around my head. “It’s not only historical but personal.”
“The Elven Guard is on it, my lord,” the emotionless male voice reassured Eleran. “Would your assistant steal it?”
“He wouldn’t … ” Eleran’s voice softened. “He’s too loyal.”
“Sometimes, the most loyal are only that way for selfish reasons, my lord,” the male elf’s voice chuckled. “Commander Vardreth seems to think the same after your assistant claimed to see a small human girl running away outside your home.”
“Can you imagine?” the woman elf laughed. “A human girl robbing an elven noble.”
“I am well aware!” Eleran’s voice boomed in my head, and it felt like he had just punched my heart.
“Sorry to make light of the situation, my lord,” the elven woman’s voice trembled.
Suddenly, an image of the ruby-eyed commander appeared before me in the darkness but vanished as if a breeze blew him away.
“I’ll allow the commander to conduct his investigation as he sees fit,” Eleran said, as emotionless as the other elf sounded. “I just want the painting back.”
“If anyone will find it, it will be the commander, my lord,” the woman’s voice chimed. “No one can hide such an image like that for long.”
“It is quite a beautiful scene, isn’t it?” the monotone elf asked, and even though I couldn’t see them, I pictured a smug pointed nose tilted upward.
“It’s a forgotten scene … ” Eleran hesitated, “our own kind forget so easily, just like the humans.”
“My lord?” The woman elf cleared her throat. “We displayed that image proudly for over hundreds of years.”
“I understand, forgive me,” Eleran sighed. “I hope we don’t forget what our kind had to endure to bring our Empire where it is today.”
“Never, ” the monotone elf murmured.
“No creature can stand with us,” the female elf added.
Their steps grew closer to wherever I was.
“They did … ” Eleran responded to the elven woman.
“They did what, my lord?” the monotone elf asked.
“According to our scribes, they lasted years against our kind and even won some battles.” Eleran’s tone was solemn. “That’s why I don’t trust any of them.”
“Who, the humans?” the monotone elf scoffed. “They are of no concern to us.”
“They’re vile to look at, too,” the woman elf’s voice shuddered. “And to think some of our own have created half-breeds with them.”
“We should destroy them all,” Eleran sighed.
The smell of wood and dust suddenly consumed my senses. Then a faint beam of light appeared just ahead of me underneath the other side of what looked like a door.
I tried to move, but my arms felt like iron, and when I lifted my head, it felt glued to the floor.
Three pairs of feet appeared just beneath the bottom slit of the door.
“Here it is, Lord Eleran.” The elven woman’s shadow moved toward the middle pair of feet, which had to be the noble’s. “The key.”
“Thank you,” Eleran inserted the key into the door, opened it, and the rush of white light blinded my eyes. “They found this chest with the painting?”
“Yes, that’s why we displayed them together in the exhibit,” the woman responded and flipped on a light that illuminated the entire area.
Glass walls surrounded me.
Was I some human display for the elves?
I couldn’t see too much, but above me were metallic rafters with glass panels that slanted upward into a tip in the middle.
Fuck, the elves stepped in from the door, and their eyes turned to me. But they didn’t flash their teeth or move in a violent manner at all. They just looked at me as if I were the most curious creature in the realm.
I tried to speak or to move again, but it was the same story. My limbs wouldn’t budge.
“Have you ever opened it?” Eleran asked as he stepped closer to me. His robe dragged behind him, and his bracelets sang as they moved along his arms.
All of their potent flowery magic filled my nose and made me want to sneeze.
“I haven’t, but it was opened once before.” The light-haired woman stepped up to join Eleran, and they were only a few feet from me now.
“And?” Eleran turned to her, and his braided hair swung to the side with his quick movement.
“The … ” The woman’s sharp nose turned to Eleran, and she bowed her head to his feet.
“Out with it, I will not hold you responsible for anything said here tonight,” Eleran said as he knelt next to me. His sapphire eyes were inches from my face.
“The elf was put to death for opening it, and they burned the only key along with the body,” the woman elf’s voice quivered as she knelt next to Eleran, who looked at me with hungry eyes.
“Wha
t was inside?” The noble glared to the woman beside him again, and she looked terrified. “Are there any records you can share with me?”
“Eleran?” the monotone elf spoke from the doorway.
“Darcassian?” Eleran blinked multiple times without looking at the other elf behind him.
“Watch your tone, it’s sounding--” Suddenly, Darcassian’s head smashed into his shoulder as if an invisible hand slapped him across the face.
“Like what?” Eleran rose to his feet, and a burst of color surrounded his tall frame.
The woman elf flew out of my view from the rush of light that appeared around the noble.
“Are there any reports you can show me?” Eleran asked the woman off to my side again.
“Th-there, there are none,” the elven woman whispered in fear.
Eleran turned to face me again, and the bright flame of magic around him was absorbed back into his body.
“I will have you opened one day … ” He laid his long thin hand on my head and tapped it with his fingernail. As he did, his eyes re-focused as if he felt something was wrong. “What kind of magic is this?”
“Um, what do you mean, Lord Eleran?” The woman elf appeared next to the noble.
“I sense an odd magic on this chest.” Eleran tapped my head again. “Darcassian, find me a covering for this.”
I was the chest? Or I was at least where the chest was?
Eleran’s sapphire eyes shimmered right into mine as if he were looking into my soul.
“Here you are, my lord.” Darcassian handed Eleran a white covering.
“Until next time,” the noble said as he unfurled the sheet and draped it over me.
As soon as he did, my eyes opened to the dull light of the stable, and a thin covering of magic draped across my chest as I breathed. The small stream of dancing light absorbed into my chest just as Eleran’s magic absorbed into him.
“You’re part of me?” I mumbled to the keys and glanced behind me to where the chest was by my head.
The keys didn’t respond, but they didn’t have to. I just saw their magic absorb into my left pec, to be exact.
What I’d just witnessed was still fresh in my mind, but I struggled to remember the details of where the chest could be. It was obviously in the Elf District, but that bit of knowledge wasn’t very helpful.