by Jillian Dodd
"I think he would be so shocked I showed up that he'd forget."
Cooper just stares at me.
"Okay, he probably wouldn't."
"Wait! I know. What if I Skype him? Garrett said if I could record him confessing that the police could arrest him."
"They can't arrest him if they can't find him."
"I'm a mess, Cooper. And every single time I look at Aiden, I just feel guilty. Like I'm somehow cheating on Brooklyn."
"I don't know all the background on the two of you. So, before you got sent to Eastbrooke, you and Brooklyn were dating?"
"We spent the summer together in Europe. When we got back, he found out that his dad had gotten him a few sponsors and he was going out on tour. He was leaving me. He thought we should date other people."
"You were young. You were going to be apart for long periods of time. That sounds like the mature thing to do. My high school girlfriend and I did that when we went to different colleges."
"How'd that work out for you?"
"She met someone else. Fell in love. A year later she was pregnant and getting married."
"Do you wish you would have stayed together?"
"I don't think it would have mattered, Keatyn. She fell in love with someone else. If our love was meant to be, she wouldn't have."
"I fell in love with Aiden. Does that mean I'm not meant to be with Brooklyn?"
"Was it the same situation? Were you and Brooklyn dating each other but also free to see other people?"
"We weren't dating each other. I thought we were over."
"What do you think now?"
"I feel like I'm holding a live grenade and if I make the wrong move, everything around me will explode."
"You need to try and be patient. At least for the next few days. Garrett said there are a lot of properties to check and that it's going to take them the majority of the next three days just to do it right. Last night, Garrett told you something that made you agree to wait. What was it?"
"That Vincent won't hurt Brooklyn until he has me. And that seven days in Vincent time isn't that long, considering he's been planning this for months."
"Do you still agree?"
"Yes."
"Then let's get you back to school."
Found a body.
8pm
The rest of the day is spent traveling, moving stuff into our dorms, saying hello to our friends.
Although, really, that's what everyone else is doing. I'm hiding out in Aiden's room.
I don't want to talk to anyone. Not even Damian.
I'm a wreck.
"Why don't I go get us some hot chocolate?" he says.
I lie on his bed and stare up at the twinkle lights while he's gone.
They take me back to that night on the beach. When I made a wish on the moon. When Brooklyn told me I was desirable.
I decide I can't wait any longer.
I call Garrett.
"You told me you'd keep me updated. I haven't heard from you," I say when he answers.
"Sorry, we've been all over. Trying to get search warrants. Searching the production company's properties."
"And?"
"We've been through about a third of the holdings. Have come up empty."
"And the warrants to search Vincent's properties?"
"I'm afraid they were denied."
"How?"
"To get a warrant, you need probable cause. Often, we can get that probable cause based on the word of another person. But the judge has to decide if the person's word is credible. You are a seventeen-year-old living out of state. We also had bad luck and got the same judge who refused both the plea to charge Vincent with attempted kidnapping and our request for a restraining order, back in August. He said that Vincent is an outstanding citizen and community leader who doesn't even have an unpaid parking ticket. Then, off the record, he told us that he didn't want to see us again or he'd charge us with harassment."
"Garrett, you have friends in high places. Can't you get a different judge? Don't you think it's a little odd we keep getting the same judge? Could Vincent have paid him off?"
"It's possible. But, regardless, what's done is done. We can't file for a new warrant unless we come up with something new. Evidence. A witness who saw Vincent and Brooklyn together. Besides searching properties, we're also trying to find the abduction site and combing the area for witnesses."
"So, should I try to Skype him? Get him to admit he kidnapped B? Record it this time?"
"Let's finish the search of the company's property first. If we don't turn up any new evidence or find Brooklyn, I'll consider it."
"How long will that take?"
"We'll discuss it Friday evening. How's that?"
"Okay."
"And, Keatyn, no news is good news," he says as I leap off the bed when Aiden kicks the door open with his foot--scaring the shit out of me--because his hands are full.
"What does that mean?" I ask, trying to calm myself down.
"It means no one has found a body."
I grab my stomach and start to cry. Then a wave of nausea hits me, and I run in the bathroom and throw up my dinner.
Aiden picks me up and carries me to his bed, cradling me in his arms as he sits down.
"What happened?" he asks, running his hand soothingly down my arm.
"Nothing," I say, not wanting to repeat what he said. It's easier to stick to the facts. "There's no word. They've searched about a third of the studio's properties, been scouring the area around Buddy's, and tried to get a search warrant. They've come up empty."
"Why did you throw up?"
I cover my face with my hand, lean against his chest, and start crying again.
He doesn't say anything.
Just holds me tightly.
I can't stop crying. It's like, now that I've finally let it all out, it won't stop.
"Shhh, baby," he says, smoothing down the back of my hair. "Tell me what happened."
I take a breath, shuddering, trying to stop crying.
"Garrett said no news is good news."
"What did he mean by that?"
"That's what I asked him. He said that it meant they . . . they . . . they . . . hadn't found a body yet."
Aiden takes a sharp breath. "That's an awful thing to say."
"I know. It was supposed to make me feel better, but the thought of a body showing up. I don't know why that never really crossed my mind. I just pictured him kidnapped, not dead. You know?"
Aiden pushes my chin up and kisses my forehead. "It's because you've been listening to your heart."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm not sure, but it's like, through this all, you've known, somehow. Were you and Vincent close? Like, before he tried to kidnap you?"
"Part of me wants to say yes. Part of me wants to say no."
"Tell me about the part that wants to say yes."
"We sort of instantly connected. He looked into my eyes like he knew me. He was nice. He caught me one night when someone pushed me. He noticed things about me that other people didn't."
"Like what?"
"Stuff about me. My posture. My expressions. How I bite my lip when I'm trying to tell a lie. That I have a very expressive face. Granted, I wanted to be an actress, so I loved hearing those things, but it never felt like he was just blowing smoke up my ass or trying to impress me. He seemed sweet and sincere. I mean, he did flirt with me, but it was playful; the kind of things that could have dual meanings."
"Did that bother you?"
"No. I liked it. I liked him. I had little fantasies about what being with a man would be like. And when he took me to dinner to thank me . . ."
"Thank you for what?"
"Oh, one day I came home from school really mad. I was pissed and walking down the beach and ran into him. He was upset. Told me that his grandmother had passed away and he was supposed to spread her ashes on the beach. He was having a hard time doing it. He didn't really have anyone special in his life, I guess.
And I was there. And I could relate because I had lost my dad. So I said some things that I hoped gave him comfort. He told me all about his grandmother, who was a famous actress, and her life. How she had met the love of her life on the beach. It was all very romantic--the kind of love I dreamed I would have with B. You know, we met each other on the beach, and it was love at first sight just like hers. He told me about his bad childhood at some point, too. About how his grandmother had taken him in and given him a better life. How he went to an exclusive prep school and how if you told yourself something enough, eventually, you'd believe it."
"Like what?"
"Like being good enough. Being strong. Stuff like that. Anyway, he told me his grandmother would love that he spread her ashes on the beach with me. Because I was special. That he was going to make this amazing movie with me and every man who saw it would fall in love with me. Anyway, I held his hand and said a few words, and then we sprinkled her ashes and tossed the urn into the ocean. He texted me the next day, invited me to dinner. We had fun. Flirted. But he never took it further. Kissed me on the cheek goodbye. Held it way too long, but it was sweet, not at all creepy. We just talked a lot whenever I saw him. I told him things I hadn't dared tell Brooklyn or my friends."
"That's why people tell bartenders their problems, right? Easier to tell a stranger than a friend."
"Yeah, probably. Anyway, we saw each other like that off and on. And every time we did, we had these sweet little moments. He was on my beach the morning of my birthday. I was happy, doing cartwheels. He laughed at me. Videotaped me. Teased me about recreating my mom's movie poster. I redid it for him my way. Turned around, tossed water at him, then blew him a kiss over my shoulder. I invited him to my birthday party. I was shocked when I figured out it was him who was trying to kidnap me. And, since then, I've questioned everything I've felt."
"Even with me," Aiden says.
"Yeah, mostly with you."
"So what does your heart tell you now about Brooklyn?"
"That he'll be okay for a while. But not for long. I think his having Brooklyn will be both motivation to get me and a reminder of the fact that he hasn't yet."
"That's a fine line."
"Yes."
"Do you think he has the seven days Garrett asked for?"
"Probably," I say slowly.
"But what?"
"But I'm probably not going to wait that long."
"You'll go anyway?"
"I think I'll have to."
Aiden nods. "You keep saying that you don't want me to help, but I'll help you find him."
"I'm surprised you'd say that. If I find him . . ."
"If you find him, Vincent will go to jail and you'll have your life back."
"Even if I don't end up with you when I get it back?"
He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. When he opens his green eyes, they are sparkling with moisture. "I'm trying not to consider that possibility."
When I get back to my room, Katie gives me a hug and goes to sleep.
My friends have been treating me with kid gloves since I got back.
I'm sure they've all been filled in on what's going on.
And I appreciate it.
A text pops up from Garrett right before I fall asleep.
Garrett: Remember the girl from the club? She was a message to you. I don't think he's going to hurt Brooklyn until he starts "filming his movie," which we both know he can't do without you. Not finding a body after almost twenty-four hours means we were right. I didn't mean to upset you. It's just a fact. And that fact makes me feel better. It should you too.
Me: Thanks.
THURSDAY, JANUARY 5TH
Talking about sex.
7:20am
I decide sitting around feeling sorry for myself isn't going to help Brooklyn or Garrett, so I take everyone's advice, get up, and get ready for class.
"I'm glad you're going," Katie says. "How are you doing? Really?"
"Not that well. I'm hoping school helps me not go crazy."
"I heard Whitney didn't come back to school."
The dance was only a few weeks ago but I'd already almost forgotten about what Whitney was going to do to Peyton. So much has happened since then.
"That surprises me."
"Surprised me too," she says as we walk to class. "I heard Aiden sneak in last night. You guys finally doing it?"
"He came to France with me for Christmas. Got to meet my family."
"So you did it in France?"
"Did what in France?" Aiden asks, coming up from behind me and scaring us both.
"Taught you to speak proper French," I say with a smile.
"Katie's blushing. You two were talking about sex, weren't you?"
We both giggle.
"Maybe," Katie admits.
When we get outside my history class, Aiden takes my hand, kisses it, and says, "Tu es l'amour de ma vie. Je veux etre avec toi pour toujours."
"What did he say," Katie asks, after he walks away. "He said, You are the love of my life and I want to be with you forever."
"Oh, that's so dreamy," she replies.
Do great things.
History
After our teacher goes over this semester's syllabus and hands back our midterms, he gives us an assignment and tells us to get started on it.
I've been thinking about Grandpa's advice. About listening to my heart.
And the more I think about it, the more sure I am.
If Brooklyn hasn't been found by Saturday, I'm going to Malibu.
I lean over and whisper to Riley, "Hey, where's that map of Stockton's exits? Have you ever noticed if one goes off property?"
"The map is in Stockton's. But, yes, there is one. I'm sure that's how they get everything in and out of there."
"Where does it go?"
"I've never been. Do you want to go see?"
"Yes. Cooper and I--or maybe just I--may need to leave here without anyone knowing."
"I thought you agreed to wait seven days."
"I may have lied. This is all my fault, Riley. I can't just sit here."
"If Cooper doesn't go with you, I will."
"I love you. You're the best friend."
"You just love me because you want me to help you run your new production company."
"I'm serious about that. We'd have a blast working together. And I trust you--maybe more than anyone."
"More than anyone?"
I sigh. "I trust Aiden, and he wants to help. But I just can't let him."
"So you'll sneak out of Stockton's?"
"Yes."
"I'm serious. I'm going. I'll do whatever you say. Even if it's just to ride on the plane with you."
"I'm afraid if I let you on the plane, you'd renege on your promise."
"I won't," he says solemnly.
"Riley, if something happens to me, the whole production company is going to you. Do great things with it, okay?"
His shakes his head at me, but agrees.
Hell has officially frozen over.
4:30pm
"I think it's this one," Riley says, taking me through an exit from Stockton's.
"We should really check this place out sometime when we're not drinking," I say with a laugh. "We'd probably find all sorts of interesting stuff."
We walk along the dimly-lit tunnel.
For a surprisingly short while.
When we get to the end of the tunnel, we find a ladder, climb up, and open a trap door in the floor of what appears to be a small cement block building.
"You stay down there," Riley instructs. "I'm going to close the door and see if I can get back in with the key."
"Come on out. That," he says, showing me a keypad, "must be how they do the deliveries. They can control access through keypad codes. I bet only members get keys."
"It's pretty crazy if you think about it. Someone spent a lot of time and energy on this place."
"I think it's sort of evolved over time to be what it is now.
Some of the tunnels look older than the others. Speaking of that, have you ever read any of the names on the walls?"
"I looked at some that first night, but I didn't really pay attention."
"I started looking at them before break. There are some important names on those walls. History-making names. Leaders of industry and state names. People you could maybe call, Keatyn. One is a California judge. I looked him up. He's a big deal. Well-connected. What if you went to him?"
"For what?"
"You said they couldn't get a search warrant. I'm just saying that sometimes it helps to know the right people."
"Garrett knows a lot of people. If he couldn't pull strings . . ."
"I'm just saying . . ."
"Yeah, you're right. Let me think about it. Let's go look outside."
We walk out of the little building and find ourselves just on the other side of the Eastbrooke fence.
I point to a plaque above the door. "This was a gift from the class of 1978."
Riley smiles. "We have a year and a half to figure out our gift. We need to make it epic."
I look up at him, tears filling my eyes.
"Don't give me those eyes. You will be back here for our senior year. Promise me."
"I can't promise that."
"No. Don't say you can't or you won't. Say I will be back for my senior year, Riley. I want to come back for my senior year."
"I want to come back for my senior year, Riley," I say.
And I mean it.
"Now, I think you should call that judge."
"I don't know his number."
"Lucky for you, I already looked it up." He takes my phone and enters a number.
"What am I going to say?"
Riley chuckles. "Tell him you took the oath of silence swore."
"This is crazy."
"Crazy is usually what works."
"You're right. Here goes nothing," I say as I hit send.
A receptionist answers and asks if she can help me.
"I'd like to speak to Judge Waters."
"I'm sorry, he's not available. May I take a message?"
"Um, can you just tell him my name is Keatyn and that I took the oath of silence swore. Would you write that part down, please? It's important."
"Uh, sure, Keatyn," she says, humoring me. "I'll tell him that you took the oath of silence swore."
I hear a deep voice say, "Silence swore?"
And the assistant goes, "Yes, sir."
Then the deep voice goes, "Transfer the call to my office. I'll take it in there."