by B N Miles
“We are,” Felin said and tipped her head back. She shut her eyes and took deep breaths.
She got to her feet and walked to the door.
“Where are you going?” Miuri asked. “Felin, please stay. It’s okay, we understand why you’re—”
But Felin pushed open the door and was gone.
“Well shit,” Cam said.
“You’ve been doing a wonderful job lately,” Miuri said, “at pissing off all your girls.”
Cam gave her a tight smile and finished the water. It was cold on his throat.
“I keep wondering when any of this will get easier.”
“Not sure that’s going to happen.” Miuri leaned over the table and put a hand out, palm up.
Cam put his hand in hers. She squeezed and smiled.
“I should talk to Galla,” he said.
“You’re right.”
“She needs to be out there. The Mansion might fall into chaos at any moment if she doesn’t step up.”
“She knows. But she’s just…”
“She’s grieving,” Cam said. “I understand better than most.”
Miuri let out a breath. “I keep forgetting you lost your father not long before all this started.”
“Just before we met. It’s still fresh.”
“Go talk to her.” Miuri released his hand.
Cam struggled to his feet and found himself still weak from the vision on the mountain. “Do you think she wants to see her father’s killer right now?”
“No,” Miuri said. “But she needs to anyway.”
Cam nodded and walked to the bedroom door. He knocked twice then pushed it open, stepped inside, and closed it behind him.
The room was lit by three lamps but shadows loomed in the corners. It was damp and cold. A blanket-wrapped lump lay huddled in the center of the huge bed. Red hair spilled like wine.
“Galla,” Cam said. He wanted to say more but stopped himself.
Galla’s lump moved then the blanket pulled away. Her face emerged and she looked out at him with a blank expression.
“Husband,” she said.
He felt a chill again. He walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed. Galla didn’t move. Her eyes followed him.
“I’m sorry for what happened,” he said. “I know that doesn’t help, but it’s the truth.”
“Thank you,” she said.
He stared down at his hands, at the wrinkles in his palms. “I could make excuses,” he said. “I could explain why I did what I did. But I’m not going to. It won’t bring your father back.”
“No,” she said, “it won’t.”
“I remember the day my father died,” Cam said. “In fire, in the forest. He was dying already; we all knew it. He was a shadow of his former self. And when the wolves came for us, he sacrificed himself, used what magic he had left to save me. I dragged his broken body back to the village but it was far too late for him by then. I still think I left a piece of myself in that clearing.”
“Does it get easier?” she asked.
“Yes and no,” Cam said. “Sometimes I go a day or two without thinking about him. But his absence is always there in everything I do, and the memory of him still hurts.”
Galla pushed the blanket away and sat up. She wore a light white slip with thin straps. Her shoulders looked so small. She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her thin arms around them.
“I know he was wrong,” she said. “I know he should have stopped. But I keep wondering if there was another way.”
“I know,” Cam said. “I wonder the same thing.”
“I don’t blame you, you know,” she said.
He met her eyes then looked away. “You can if it’ll help.”
“I don’t,” she said and her voice was firm. “I made that happen. I orchestrated the situation. I put together the kindling and I held the torch above it. I can’t be surprised that I managed to burn everything down.”
“You did what you thought was right.”
“And I still think it was right,” she said. “But if I could go back, I’d change things. I’d try and talk to him more. Or I’d restrain him sooner. I’d do something to avoid what happened.”
Cam nodded and leaned back on his hands. “I wish things could be different too,” he said.
She reached out and brushed her fingers across his shoulder. He turned his head and she stared at him. Her lips hung open and her tongue pressed against her teeth. Black bags hung under her eyes and she looked so small and frail.
“I don’t know what to do,” she said. “For the first time in my life I feel like I’m lost.”
“You need to stand up,” Cam said. “You need to dress. And you need to be the Lord of this Mansion.”
“But—” she started then stopped herself.
“You know I’m right,” Cam said. “Even if it feels wrong. We’re in a crisis, Galla. The Mansion needs a leader right now, and we both know it can’t be me. I’m going to lead the army out of here in the next few days, and when I’m gone, I need to know someone’s back here protecting these people and taking care of them.”
“You think that person has to be me,” she said.
“We both know it.” Cam reached out and took her hand. She closed her mouth and bit her lip. “You have to be the Lord this Mansion needs, Galla.”
“You’re right,” she said and dug her fingers into Cam’s palm. “I just hate the idea of getting out of this bed.”
“Take more time,” Cam said. “Grieve some more. But come tomorrow morning, you’ll wake early, put on your clothes, and you’ll claim what’s yours by right.”
She met his gaze again and Cam held it there. She nodded her head slowly and pulled her hand away.
“Thanks,” she said. “I needed to hear that.”
“I’m only telling you the truth,” Cam said.
She pulled into herself again and stared down at the blankets. “Do you mind if I’m alone for a little while longer?”
Cam got to his feet. “I’ll check on you again later today.”
She nodded but didn’t look at him. “And maybe bring some of whatever’s cooking out there?”
Cam smiled. “Of course.”
She gave him a thin smile then rolled over onto her side, pulling the blankets around her again. She disappeared into a lump of skins and cloth and hair.
Cam left the room and shut the door behind him.
“How is she?” Miuri asked as he walked to the couch and sat down beside her.
“Hungry,” he said.
“I’ll bring her something when it’s ready.” Miuri moved closer and rested her head on his shoulder. “You saw a goddess today.”
“I did,” he said.
“I’m almost jealous.”
“Don’t be.” He kissed her hair. “I’d rather see you.”
“Flatterer,” Miuri said, laughed, and kissed his cheek.
He leaned back and stared up at the ceiling.
He saw a goddess. And soon he’d go to war with her.
15
Boots echoed through the vast entry hall as ranks of armed and armored men marched toward the mountain plateau. Cam stood on top of an empty cart and watched as his army gathered outside the great mountain gates, rows and rows of men, of camp followers, of carts laden with supplies.
“It almost looks like a real army.”
Cam looked down at Captain Brice. She wore her military uniform, but her armor was stowed away. Her dark hair swept over her shoulder and she gripped the pommel of her straight sword.
“They’ll do,” Cam said.
“Half of them were drafted overnight,” Brice said. “The other half are still exhausted from the first march.”
“There’s no other choice.” Cam gestured for Brice to join him on the cart.
She hesitated then climbed up. Cam watched the muscles in her arms and legs as she steadied herself beside him.
“I’ve been hearing some rumors,” she said.
“Like what?”
“Disgruntled former commanders.”
Cam nodded and didn’t react. “I expected that.”
“You were smart to shake up the hierarchy though,” she said. “Getting rid of most of the old Generals and only keeping those that swore an oath? That was smart. Then promoting new men from the lower classes.”
“You don’t disapprove?”
“I don’t,” Brice said. “My father was a farmer. My mother sewed dresses. I’m not part of the aristocracy.”
Cam tilted his head and studied Brice. “How many of the Generals would you say are truly loyal?”
“I believe all those you hand-picked, plus maybe half of those still remaining,” she said. “Within the officer corps, it’s a little higher.”
“I’m going to need your help.”
Brice shook her head. “Oh, no. I’m not military police. I’m not about to root out spies for you.”
“Brice—”
“No,” she said, giving him a flat look. “I’ll fight in the field for you. I’ll wear my armor and die for you if I have to. But I’m not going to be your pawn in rooting out your enemies in this army.”
He stared at her for a long moment then nodded his head. “Okay then,” he said. “I have someone else in mind for the job then.”
“Who?”
“Felin.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Your girlfriend? Felin?”
“That’s right.” Cam watched a group of men march past, talking to each other in quiet tones. Some of them smiled up at him and some of them ignored him, and he couldn’t help but wonder how many of those men would make it back in one piece.
He guessed not many.
“I’m not sure that’s a great idea. It’ll look… bad.”
“I’m not sure I care how it’ll look. I just need it to get done.”
“What do you want from me then?”
“Get her set up,” Cam said. “Find her some loyal men to work with her. Her entire job will be to sniff out anyone in the army that wants to work against me and arrest them if possible.”
“I can do that,” Brice said.
“Thank you.”
They lapsed into silence as more men marched past. It was a sea of bodies moving to their doom. Cam couldn’t help but imagine all the suffering that was to come.
Maybe he would be better off listening to Lycanica. Maybe he should evacuate the Mansion and get as many people away from here as possible. He could save lives that way.
But it wouldn’t work and he knew it. Eventually, they’d reach the great salt sea and have nowhere to go. There weren’t enough boats in the world to ferry the entire population of this region to some other distant land. The wolves would come for them and slaughter every man, woman, and child left standing.
Fighting was their only option.
“Looks like someone’s coming to see you,” Brice said.
Cam followed her gaze and saw a small group moving through the flow of marching soldiers. He smiled as Key shoved her way toward him, followed by a small collection of soldiers, Theus and Galla walking in their wake.
Theus was just back from scouting with Arter and the guard, and his clothes were still road-worn and dusty. Key’s hair was in tight golden braids and she held her new spear against her shoulder.
Galla wore a long, black dress, tight in the breast and the waist but flowing in the sleeves and the skirts. She wore a shining emerald pendant. A small glass tiara was perched in her beautifully curled red hair.
The procession stopped at the foot of the cart.
“Hello, Captain Brice,” Galla called up. “It’s lovely to see you.”
Brice inclined her head. “Lovely to see you as well, Lord.”
Galla beamed at that. “I just realized, I called you Captain Brice. But isn’t it General now?”
Brice cocked her head. “I don’t know what you mean, Lord. I’m still just Captain.”
Cam cleared his throat. “I hadn’t gotten to that yet,” he said loud enough for Galla to hear.
“Whoops,” Galla said.
Brice looked at him, her mouth open. “What are you saying?”
“I want to make you the commander of the heavy infantry,” he said. “And I want you to have a seat at my council table. I’m making you a General, if you’ll have it.”
Her mouth worked for a moment, as though the words couldn’t get past her lips, then she bowed her head. “I’m honored,” she said.
“Don’t be,” Cam said. “I’m going to lean on you, Brice. I need you to be ready for that.”
“Good.” She raised her head again and her eyes burned with passion. “I’m looking forward to it.”
“Beautiful,” Galla said and clapped her hands. “Now Brice, do you mind if I borrow Cam?”
“Be my guest,” Brice said. “I have work to do.” She turned and hopped off the cart. She was surprisingly light and graceful on her feet. Cam watched her slip past the marching men and disappear into the crowd.
Galla came closer to the edge of the cart. Cam shifted forward and sat down, his legs dangling off the side.
“That was a good choice,” Galla said, staring into the mass of men where Brice had disappeared.
“You think so?”
“She’s loyal. She’s competent.”
“Attractive too,” Key said.
Cam gave Key a look. “You’re a General now too, you know.”
Key grinned. “Damn right I am.”
“Really?” Theus asked, nudging Key. “He made you a General too? Feels like he’s just giving the title out.”
“General of the Fourth Infantry,” Key said. “Which means I’m going to kick some serious wolf ass.”
“I’m stacking the ranks as much as I can,” Cam said. “Everyone I trust is a General now. I can’t risk more division in our ranks. We’re already divided enough.”
Galla rested a hand on Cam’s knee. “It’s a smart move,” she said. “I would’ve done it too.”
He leaned forward and slipped off the cart. Galla put a hand on his chest and he kissed her cheek then reached out for Key. His two girls pressed themselves against him and he kissed them one after the other while Theus stood nearby rubbing the back of his head.
“I hate when you do that,” Theus said.
Cam laughed and released the girls. Key stretched her lean body and tilted her head. “So, when do I get to meet my men?” she asked.
“Soon,” Cam said. “You’ll have to choose an officer corp. I’ll see if Brice has some suggestions.”
“Perfect,” Key said. “But I’m a little worried about Felin. I’m a General, Miuri’s the liaison for the Elven division, Galla’s the Lord of the Mansion. What’s Felin going to do?”
“Don’t worry about her,” Cam said. “Fel’s got her own job.”
Key tilted her head. “Really?”
“Really,” he said. “And I think she’ll love it.”
“Cam,” Galla said, tugging at his sleeve. “Can we talk for a moment?”
He nodded. “Of course.”
“I’ll take Key and get her acclimated,” Theus said. “Arter and your guard are looking for you, by the way.”
“Good,” Cam said. “They’d better be.”
Key and Theus moved off through the crowd and Cam turned back toward Galla. She leaned against the cart and chewed her lip as she watched the procession. Cam leaned next to her and slipped his hand into hers. She tilted her face up toward him and her eyes shone in the early morning sun as it slanted through the stone entrance.
“You’re going to be gone for a while,” she said.
“I know,” Cam said.
“I thought I should… say goodbye.” She smiled a little. “And I wanted to thank you.”
“Galla,” Cam said.
“No, hear me out.” She cleared her throat and shifted her weight from one foot to the next. “Losing my father was hard. It’s still hard, maybe the hardest thing I’ve ever had to
do. But I know why you did it, and I would’ve done it myself if I were in your position. I’m not angry with you, Cam, I’m just… I wish things could have been different.”
He squeezed her hand. “Me too.”
“I love you.” She looked at him. “I didn’t expect it to happen, but I do. I love you, and I love Miuri and Felin and Key. I love what you’ve built together. I love what we might do in the future.”
“I love you too, Galla,” he said. “You’re a part of our life now. All of our lives.”
She stood on her toes and Cam kissed her, letting it linger.
“I’ll watch over the Mansion while you’re gone,” she said.
“I know you will.” He touched her cheek. “I’m worried, though.”
“Why?”
“I’m taking most of the warriors. I’m afraid something might happen. Warden Dore…”
“Dore won’t be a problem,” Galla said. “He was loyal to my father, but my father’s gone now. His loyalties aren’t that strong.”
“Still, there are those within this Mansion that are very angry about how you ended up the Lord.”
“I know.” She smiled and Cam saw a deep pit of sadness there. “But don’t worry about me. I have some plans for the Wardens. I think they’ll be a fine royal guard and secret police.”
Cam laughed and kissed her cheek. “Can’t help yourself, can you?”
“Always thinking ten moves ahead.”
“I wish I could have you out on campaign.”
“I do too. But we both know I’m needed here.”
“I know.” He kissed her again. “I’m going to miss you. But I’ll come back to you.”
“You better come back.” Her smile melted away as she took his right hand. She nuzzled against this palm, breathing deep. “I need you to come back, Cam.”
He tilted his head. “I promise. I won’t leave you.”
“Just hurry back,” she said.
He pulled her into a tight embrace. He held her, then pulled her back and kissed her.
“Don’t get lost out there. Do what you need to do, then come home.”
“I will. I swear it.”
“Good.” She stood on her toes and kissed him.
Cam kissed her one last time then let her go. She strode off through the sea of men, leaving him alone by the cart, his heart racing in his chest.