by Grace Owens
“I know you said it was too fast and I’m not trying to push you, but…” he trailed off, looking hesitant.
“Spit it out, Collin,” I answered, trying not to roll my eyes at him because he was so damn adorable.
“Please, Belly, be my girlfriend.”
Oh.
DAY 23
COLLIN
I WALKED AROUND the store, holding Bella’s small hand in mine. It felt good to be out of the house. My dad and I were on none-speaking terms right now and the tension in the house was suffocating. Even though my mom would pay for my education and that I had decided I would actually go to New York this fall, he still thought I made a big mistake and didn’t support me… at all.
“What are you thinking about, Collie-kins?” Bella asked, furrowing her brows up at me.
“College.” I sighed.
“Really? Have you decided yet?”
“Yeah. I’m going to New York,” I answered, feeling a little glum that I would be so far away from her next year.
“Really?” she asked excitedly, her eyes were shining with… happiness as she looked up at me. It made me confused. “But what about your dad?”
“He’s still an asshole,” I muttered. “And why are you so fucking happy? I’ll be on the other side of the country.”
“Well, so will I,” she said with a devious smirk.
What. The. Fuck?
“What?” I asked surprised.
“I’m going to New York as well,” she answered simply.
“How come I didn’t know my girlfriend was going across the country for college? In the same city as me on top of that.”
“Because my boyfriend hasn’t asked.”
Okay, she was right about that, but it wouldn’t have hurt if I’d known before. I mean, that only made me want to go there even more than before. I wanted to pick her up and spin her around like they did in those fucking cheesy movies, but I’d have to wait until we were alone.
“What will be your major?” I asked casually instead as we reached our destination – the condoms.
“I’m going to study to be a midwife,” she answered which kind of took me by surprise.
“I thought you were afraid of blood?” I was certain she had told me that once.
“My own blood, yes,” she said with a nod. “Other people’s blood I can handle.”
“That’s pretty messed up.” I chuckled and she let out a light laugh along with another nod as she scanned the racks. “So why midwife?”
“My mom died in childbirth,” she mumbled. I had no idea and that was when I realized there was so much more to learn about her. “This way, I can make a difference. It won’t bring my mom back, but I get the chance to help others and make sure they never get in the same position as my mom.”
“I think that’s great, Belly,” I said honestly, wrapping my arm around her shoulders and gave her a kiss on her temple.
“Why am I even here?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at the condoms, leaving the subject of her mom.
Another touchy subject.
“Because it’s you duty as a girlfriend to give your opinion on what condoms we should get,” I answered, letting it go for now.
“Oh, really?” she asked skeptically. “What, you want to know if I prefer strawberry flavor, or cherry flavor?”
She held up a pack of each in her hands, showing me.
“Yes, because you know better than I do what your pussy prefers. How can I know if she wants strawberry or not? Maybe she even wants some light in the dark,” I said thoughtfully, holding up a back of condoms that said they would glow in the dark.
“You’re so damn weird sometimes.” She giggled, putting back the condoms where she found them. “I don’t really care, and neither does my… womanly parts. So just get what you had last time. They seemed to work fine for both of us.”
“They did, didn’t they?” I asked seductively, bending down to her ear and nuzzled my nose in her neck as I encircled her tiny little waist.
“Okay, you need to hurry up,” she said urgently, wiggling herself free from my embrace.
I smirked because she seemed to be in a rush to get home. So, I grabbed the same as my old ones and took Bella’s hand, leading her to the check-out.
Jessica just so happened to be the one working today. I knew she worked here sometimes since her parents owned the store, but it would have been nice if she hadn’t been on tonight. The whole town of Aberdeen would know Bella and I had been buying condoms within five minutes after we’d left the store.
Great… just fucking great.
“Collie!” Jessica exclaimed as she saw us, but she pretended Bella wasn’t even there.
“Why do you always have to be so…” Bella trailed off, appearing to search for words, snaking her arm around my waist.
Huh, Bella is showing me off as hers. Who would have thought?
“Perfect,” Jessica filled in with an almost hopeful tone. I scoffed.
“I was going to say skanky.”
“I happen to like being adored, thank you,” Jessica said in a clipped tone.
“You’re not adored,” Bella huffed.
“Okay, ladies,” I stepped in before the cat fight went down. As sexy as that would have been, this was not the time or place for it. “Jessica, here is your money.” I threw the money on the counter and grabbed Bella’s hand. “Baby, let’s go.”
“I want to hit her,” Bella muttered as we walked out of the shop.
If I tell her, she would want to hit me too…
DAY 24
BELLA
”I JUST NEED to use the restroom real quick,” I excused myself and let go of Collin’s hand.
“Are you going to spend our valuable time together in the bathroom?” he asked, feigning hurt.
“It’s either that or wetting myself.” I smirked and gave him a smile before I walked through the door to the ladies room.
Just like I promised, I was quick and finished by washing my hands and looking at myself in the dirty mirror.
”What about the bet? You guys sure look cozy enough,” I heard Duncan say as I stepped back out.
It made me stop dead in my tracks.
Bet?
What bet was he talking about?
And why was he asking Collin about it?
I felt my heart race as I hid behind the small wall to listen to what Collin responded. I knew it was a sneaky thing to do, but I wanted to know.
“It’s over. Didn’t Rose tell you?” Collin said and it only confused me further.
“No, she didn’t say a fucking shit about it. What about Bella, then? She forgave you?”
Forgave him?
“Leave Bella the fuck out of this,” Collin hissed and I had to strain my ears to hear, yet I couldn’t just walk away because now they were talking about me.
And a bet.
“Does she know?” Duncan asked.
“No.” Collin sighed and I could picture him running his fingers through his hair the way he did when he was frustrated or nervous. “I’m going to tell her. I just don’t want to lose her.”
“You’ve fallen for her.”
“Yeah. That’s why I needed to end it. I just couldn’t do that to her, you know? She deserved so much fucking more than to be a stupid bet.”
I was a bet… again?
Collin made a bet… about me?
I felt tears stinging my eyes and I fought my hardest to keep them back. I couldn’t believe how he could have done that to me?
Or to anyone for that matter.
I used the big crowd to shield myself as I almost ran toward the exit. I was no longer Bella Andrews. She had stepped back to give room for Isabella Andrews, the hurt and lonely girl I had said goodbye to years ago.
I ran home with a blurry vision, cursing my car for not working okay. Although, it was probably a good thing because I wouldn’t have been able to see the road.
I never cried, but today, I did.
Then I got angry,
so I ran again. I pulled on my running clothes, grabbed the most important things – phone, keys and iPod before I called Jackson so he wouldn’t get worried.
My phone went on like crazy all day, but I ignored it. I knew I should have confronted Collin right on the spot, but the cocky and confident Bella wasn’t there and Isabella just couldn’t do it.
I ran, not stopping until I reached the beach. I hadn’t been here in almost two months, yet I knew exactly where my legs were taking me – Josh. While we weren’t very close anymore, he had grown up in the house across the street from us and as kids him, Jackson and I had been inseparable. Most of the time he had acted as a buffer between me and Jackson and I probably had him to thank for my good relationship with my twin.
He was married to Leah and had a three-year-old little girl, Claire, that had been born two weeks after their high school graduation. He had his own life and I felt like an intruder as I knocked on his door, but I needed sunshine, and Josh had once been the sunshine of my life.
“Bells?” he asked confused as he opened the door, using my dad’s nickname of me.
It made me think of Belly and Collin, and I burst into a new wave of tears as Josh crushed me to his chest. He led me to their living room and sat us down, letting me cry as he comforted me. I was too hurt to be embarrassed and eventually, I managed to calm down and my sobbing turned into whimpers.
“Auntie Belle?” a tiny voice carefully asked and I got confused because I hadn’t noticed either Claire or Josh’s wife Leah earlier.
“Aunt Bells needs to be alone right now, baby,” Josh said softly, rubbing my back.
“No,” I rasped, clearing my throat. “Come here.”
I extended my arms and the little girl crawled up in my lap. With her almost black hair and big brown eyes along with her russet colored skin, she looked identical to both her father and mother.
“I’m sorry to just barge in like this,” I apologized, wiping the remains of my tears away.
“That’s just bullshit. You’re welcomed here all the time,” Josh said. “You can stay as long as you want.”
“My room?” Claire asked excitedly.
I hadn’t planned to spend the night, or maybe I had, but I ended up doing that anyway. Leah lent me some clothes since I hadn’t brought any.
When they asked me what had happened, all I answered was, “I’ve got a boyfriend.” Technically, Collin was still my boyfriend because I hadn’t broken up with him. They just nodded their heads and let it go.
I fell asleep that night, nuzzling my face in Claire’s black curls, dreaming of Collin.
Why?
DAY 25
BELLA
I COULDN’T REMEMBER the last time I was this depressed and sad. Or maybe I could, but with James, things had been different.
Collin was different.
Even I was different compared to back then.
“Auntie Belle! Look!” Claire exclaimed, throwing a rock into the water.
I wished she would have stopped calling me auntie because it made me sound so damn old, but she was too adorable and I couldn’t stop her from doing it.
I was babysitting today, making up for occupying Josh and Leah’s space. I didn’t mind because somehow Claire kept me above the surface, keeping me from drowning in my pathetic sadness. She was like Josh – sunshine.
“Wow, way to go, Claire!” I tried to smile at her when she once again showed me how far out she could throw the rocks.
She didn’t buy it.
I watched as she slowly walked over to me where I was sitting on a cold rock. She had a small pout on her face that made her even more adorable. To my surprise, she climbed up my lap, straddling it and then crushed me into a hug.
I resisted the urge to cry as I hugged her back, inhaling her sweet scent.
“Why are you sad?” she asked, pulling back to look at me.
“I’m just having a bad day. That’s all,” I lied, attempting yet another smile.
She started placing sloppy kisses all over my face and actually managed to make me release a genuine laugh.
“Mommy says kisses makes everything better,” she explained when she was done.
“It’s true,” I answered with a sad nod as I once again thought about Collin and how his kisses would make me feel so much better.
“So are you better now?”
“Much.” I sighed, burying my face in her black curls.
I stayed with Claire on the beach, trying to stay cheery for her sake. I probably wasn’t the best babysitting material today, but I still loved it.
After I had said goodnight to Claire, and promised her to sleep in her bed again, I walked back to the beach. Josh and Leah were home by then and they were so cute and cuddly, that I just couldn’t stand it any longer.
Besides, I hadn’t been checking Collin’s messages all day.
Just as I sat down on the rock, my phone started vibrating – Collin.
I let the phone ring, knowing he would leave a message. He always did and I always listened.
He was always desperate.
“Bella, baby. Please, just fucking please, answer the phone,” he pleaded and then after a slight pause, he continued, “Why are you avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?” Another long pause as realization must have hit him for the first time. “You know, don’t you? You know about the fucking bet? Belly…”
He was cut off for taking too long to record the message. I didn’t doubt that the rest of the message would come in soon.
I nearly snorted at him for not figuring it out earlier. I mean, he had known that I was in that bathroom and Duncan was known for being loud as he speaks. Collin was a smart guy, he should have figured it out earlier.
I felt guilty, though. I should just man up and speak to him. A part of me really wanted to kick his balls and then listen to him as he begged and explained everything. Another part just wanted to curl up under a big comforter in a comfortable bed and cry my heart out.
Pathetic, but true.
After a while, I walked back to Josh’s house, saying goodnight to him and Leah before getting ready for bed. Claire was still asleep as I slid in behind her with my phone in my hand. Collin had called as I brushed my teeth, but I waited until I was in bed before I listened.
“Bella, please don’t delete this until you’ve heard all of this shit. This is my last shot since you obviously don’t want to talk to me, but you can’t avoid me forever, you know… Anyway, I made that stupid bet twenty-five days ago, before I knew you. It’s nothing at all like James’ bet. I was supposed to make you prom queen in thirty days. I ended the fucking bet last week because… I fell in love with you. Please… just fucking please…”
It almost sounded as if he was on the verge of tears and that made me cry some more. Not full out sobbing, but I felt tears running down my cheeks.
He ended the bet because he fell in love with me…
DAY 26
COLLIN
LONELY.
I was lonely, and I had been since Bella never came back from the bathroom.
I was desperate, and I had been since I realized Bella didn’t want to talk to me.
Fuck, I was ready to go down on my knees and fucking beg her to forgive me.
I had gone to the diner today since it was a Sunday and all. I had been sitting here all day since I didn’t know when she usually came. I was relieved when I saw her dad walk in, but then I was disappointed when the only person with him was Jackson.
No Bella.
I watched them eat and talk like a fucking creep. The only reason I stayed was because maybe, just maybe, Bella would show up like an angel or something.
Her dad finally stood up to leave and before I could overthink it, I walked over and sat down in front of Jackson just as his dad walked out of the diner.
“She’s not coming, you know,” Jackson said, raising an eyebrow at me, knowing exactly why I was here.
“I figured,” I muttered. “Do you know where she is?
”
“Yes.”
“Do you mind telling me?” I asked carefully.
“I’m not going to tell you because she asked me not to.” He looked at me and it felt as if he could see right through me. “Look, I don’t know what happened between you guys, but you fucked up pretty badly.”
“I know.” I sighed, mentally slapping myself for not telling her about it sooner. Maybe she would have reacted differently then.
“So,” he hedged. “Are you going to tell me?”
I had no idea why, but I fucking told him everything there was to tell – the day of the bet, about Rose, falling hard for Bella and I even told him about the party, leaving out a few details. He looked as if he already knew about that.
There was a few moments throughout my story that he looked as if he wanted to fucking hit me in the face.
I didn’t blame him because I wanted to do the same.
”You know about James, don’t you?” he asked calmly, and I was surprised that he didn’t give me a black eye.
“Yeah. I ended the bet the morning after she told me. I was going to do it earlier, but that was the final nail in the coffin. I just… couldn’t do that to her.”
“But you did,” he said.
I did.
“Okay, listen. What you did was really fucking stupid and mean,” Jackson almost hissed. “I’ve gotten used to Bella the Bitch, but I kinda liked seeing her happy for once. So just give her some time, man. She liked you and from what you’ve told me, you guys got pretty close, so I’m sure she won’t just drop you like a glove.”
My mouth hung open in shock.
Where was the punching?
The cursing?
Why wasn’t he telling me to fuck off?
I just nodded my head like a fucking fool and decided to give Bella some time… until tomorrow because there was no way that I would be able to not try when she was there, live and in the flesh.
DAY 27
BELLA
”OKAY, THAT’S IT. This is not the firecracker we all know and love,” Josh said with a deep sigh before he pulled the blanket off my body. “Since when did you become broody… and all fucking sad?”