by R. J. Groves
‘Six weeks? Are you crazy?’
Andie laughed. ‘Maybe. But we didn’t want to wait, and there was an opening and, well, you know the drill.’
‘Mmm, I know you’ve had every part of your wedding planned out since you were a little girl, so if anyone can plan a wedding in six weeks, it’s you. Does—does Joey know?’
Andie’s eyes glimmered with excitement. Harley knew that Andie loved the fact that her and Joey were together now. She really hoped it would stay that way. What would happen if things didn’t work out with him? Could Harley and Andie still be friends? Surely they could. They were friends long before she’d ever met Joey. But then, she was also sure she wouldn’t be able to hang out with Andie without thinking about her brother.
‘Apparently Joey knew before I did,’ Andie said, her eyebrow raised. ‘Tay asked him for his blessing.’
‘How romantic.’ Harley pulled out her phone and dialled a number.
‘Who are you calling?’
‘Libby.’
‘Why?’
‘Well, if you’re getting married in six weeks, we’re going to need a dress. And I know just the place.’
***
Joey smiled at the message with the wedding details on his phone. Andie was getting married. About bloody time. He hadn’t been surprised when Tay contacted him to ask for his blessing to marry Andie and to tell him the date—now only three weeks away—so he could put in leave. If he was being honest, he was wondering when they were going to seal the deal. Those two were perfect for each other. But a six-week engagement? Well, if anyone could organise a wedding in record time, it was his sister. In fact, by the sounds of it, Andie had done a pretty good job of doing just that, with Harley and Libby’s help. Everything had supposedly been organised with three weeks to spare. It was going to be a small, intimate gathering, but still. That was one hell of a feat. Harley had sounded excited that he’d be coming back for the wedding, but again, he wouldn’t be able to stay for more than a week. And after that trip back, he wasn’t sure how long it would be before the next.
He hadn’t realised how much he could truly miss her. Sure, he’d missed her before, but this—this was something else. This had every second feeling like minutes, and every minute feeling like hours, and every hour feeling like days. Don’t even get him started on how the days felt. And after every call and every time he stared at the pictures on his phone of the two of them together at Margaret River, the thought of being away from her for so long was getting to him.
He missed her with every fibre of his being. He missed feeling her body against his, feeling her touch, her kisses, the smell of her sweet perfume and gentle fragrance of her shampoo. And yet, as much as he wanted to be with her, he still had responsibilities on the ship. That hadn’t changed.
He wished it could have been different. It had broken his heart leaving her behind again. Especially how she’d tried to be so strong about it. He hadn’t wanted anything more than he’d wanted to fly back through her door and take her in his arms, promising her he’d never leave her again—not for a second. But he couldn’t. Not yet. And he’d tried to figure out when and if he’d ever be able to promise her that. And still he had nothing.
Distance sucked.
‘Hey, Gray.’ Joey glanced up at Ryan, who jerked his head, indicating for Joey to follow him. ‘Officers’ meeting. Captain wants to talk to us.’
Joey tucked his phone away and followed his friend. Officers’ meetings weren’t uncommon, but they were usually scheduled. This was not. He followed Ryan into the meeting room and looked around. If he calculated correctly, it looked as though every officer on the ship was in there.
‘Must be serious,’ Ryan muttered, standing off to the side.
Joey nodded, glancing up at the captain. His expression was solemn and, as Ryan pointed out, it did look serious. There was a kind of tension in the room. Uncertainty. Worry. He wasn’t sure what else. The captain checked that everyone was there, then began.
‘There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to say it,’ the captain said. Joey frowned. What could possibly be that serious? ‘The HMAS Mallee is being decommissioned.’
The room was silent, and Joey’s heart dropped to his stomach. His ship was being decommissioned? No, he must have heard incorrectly. He scanned the room around him. Every person in the room had the same look that he was sure he had on his face. Considering most of them had spent their entire navy careers on the HMAS Mallee, it was pretty big news to take in. This ship was their home, their life. And if it was being decommissioned … well, then their home was being taken away from them.
‘As you all know,’ the captain continued, ‘this old girl has been in service a long time, and I know each and every one of you feel the same way about her as I do.’
He paused to take a long, steadying breath. Joey’s throat burned. He glanced at his friend. Ryan’s jaw was tense, his brow creased. So he’d heard right. It really was being decommissioned.
‘Eventually, the time comes around for every ship. Unfortunately, this time, it’s ours. She will be decommissioned in a month and, with it, we have all been given a rare opportunity to make a decision of our own. You may choose to put in a transfer to another ship, or discharge at the same time as the decommission—go down with the ship, so to speak.’ The captain paused, looking around the room. His eyes seemed to shimmer, a sadness filling them. ‘I’ve been on this ship for my entire career and I’m close enough to retiring to not want to start again somewhere else. As the captain of the HMAS Mallee, I will be going down with my ship. But I cannot make your decision for you. Each and every one of your decisions is personal and will depend on your personal choices and your career aspirations.’
The captain continued talking, but Joey heard none of it. His ship was going down. The ship that had been his home since he’d left training. He scanned the room again. All these people had become his family. He didn’t necessarily like or get along with every single one of them, but they were family, nonetheless. And in a month’s time, they would all be separated. Some might transfer to the same ships. Others might still see each other if they discharged. But in essence, his family was breaking up.
His heart pounded in his chest as he wondered what the hell he was going to do. Sailing is what he knew—what he was good at. It was his anchor, as he’d told Harley. But he still couldn’t imagine ever transferring to another ship and trying to fit in with another crew. When he’d thought of his career in the future, it was there on the HMAS Mallee with the people around him now. And while everyone else had a month to decide, he only had three weeks. By the time he got back from Andie’s wedding, his ship would already have gone down. He would be returning to a ship that wasn’t his home, to people who weren’t his family.
And that was a decision he’d never thought he’d ever have to make.
Chapter 14
Harley had never been so excited—and nervous—in her life.
Her best friend was getting married to the perfect man for her. And Harley would see Joey again after two long, agonising months. It felt like it had been years since she’d last seen him—touched him—and the butterflies were stirring in her stomach at the thought she would finally get to see him again. Would it be the same? Would they still feel as strongly for each other as they did when she saw him last?
Over their time apart, she’d begun to suspect that she’d imagined a lot of it and that maybe her memories were a lot more romanticised than what had actually happened. The doubts had crept in, implanting the idea in her mind that maybe their efforts were pointless. Sure, they’d talked as much as they could over the past couple of months, but few of those conversations seemed to be private and longer than just a few minutes. And he always seemed distracted, especially over the last few weeks.
They’d planned to figure something out, yet nothing had changed, and it didn’t look as though it would anytime soon. He was still committed to his job, and Harley was still left be
hind waiting for the next time she’d see or hear from him again. Erin had told her she needed to get out of her head—that she thought too much. She’d told Harley to wait it out as long as she could. Things took time, and maybe this was one of those things.
Harley hoped she was right.
She hoped that Joey would still feel the same for her as she did for him. And soon she would find out.
From what she’d managed to gather, Joey had come in the night before and, since Andie and Tay were practising tradition, she’d had to spend the evening before the wedding with Andie and Libby, unable to escape to see him. She’d hoped she might have caught a glimpse of him in the morning, but she’d forgotten how busy it could be for a bride and her bridesmaids.
The three of them had just finished getting ready when Libby poured a few glasses of champagne and divvied them up between the three of them. Libby raised her glass and Andie and Harley followed suit.
‘I never thought I would ever get the chance to say this, since Tay can be a real tough nut to crack,’ she said, taking a deep breath, smiling excitedly at Andie. ‘Cheers, Andie, for taming my brother.’ She turned towards Harley next. ‘And to you, Harley, for taming Andie’s brother.’
The three of them laughed, Harley’s cheeks heating. The thought of having her own special day like this with Joey was something that filled her dreams. She knew there was a lot more to it than that—distance being a huge contributing factor—but she wasn’t going to bring that up on Andie’s special day.
‘Oh, can you imagine?’ Libby continued, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. ‘The three of us could actually be sisters!’
The thought of the three of them being sisters did sound amazing, but still. Harley didn’t want to get her hopes up. ‘You do know that Joey and I aren’t getting married, right?’
‘Not yet,’ Libby squeaked, sipping her champagne. Harley thought she caught something in the glance between Libby and Andie, but she had no time to question it.
‘Knock, knock.’ The familiar voice made her spin on her heel as Jannette wandered over to the three of them.
Andie shrieked and raced towards her, her beautiful A-line lace and chiffon wedding gown swishing gracefully as she moved. ‘You made it!’
‘Of course I did,’ Jannette said, pulling Harley into their embrace as well. ‘I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Besides, I had some news to share.’
‘You’re coming back to open the shop?’ Harley said hopefully. She had to admit, Jannette looked a lot less stressed, her skin slightly tanned—no doubt from her farm work which Harley still couldn’t believe. Who knew that beneath all the fancy dress and pretty makeup that Jannette was actually a farm kid?
‘No, I’m not. But they finally found the people who broke in. It was just some kids having fun and wasn’t related to any of the targeted attacks in the area.’ Jannette let out a long breath.
‘Well, I’m glad it wasn’t targeted,’ Andie said.
‘Me, too,’ Jannette said. ‘And the way it came about wasn’t ideal, but in a way, I’m a little glad it happened. I think I would have still been stuck in an endless cycle of bills and what-ifs if I didn’t have that nudge.’ She turned towards Harley. ‘I heard you started working for the bridal shop up the road.’ Harley nodded. She had, though she hadn’t wanted to broadcast it—especially to her old boss. ‘Well, good. I know the owner. She’s a friend of mine from way back. She’ll look after you.’
They chatted for a few more moments and Jannette helped with all the finishing touches before excusing herself to join the rest of the small crowd. Soon enough, the three of them were waiting just out of sight, ready for the outdoor ceremony to start.
***
Joey wiped his sweaty palms on his pants, stuffed them into his pockets, then remembering he was at his sister’s wedding, removed them and folded his hands in front of him. The tie around his throat felt unusually tight and he reached up to adjust it, beads of sweat forming on his forehead despite the cool air surrounding them.
‘Everything all right over there?’ Tay’s best man, Connor, said. ‘Some might think it’s your wedding.’
Joey tried to talk, some kind of croak coming out, then cleared his throat. ‘All good.’
Tay leaned around his best man, the three of them lined up near the garland. ‘You look nervous enough for the both of us, Joey.’
‘Well, it is my sister’s wedding,’ he muttered. Tay gave him a knowing smile.
Sure, it was Andie’s wedding. But it was also the first time in months that he’d see Harley, and he was nervous as hell. The last few weeks had been a heck of a lot more than he’d bargained for, and he’d had to make possibly the hardest decision of his life. He desperately hoped he’d made the right choice.
And even more so, he hoped that his connection with Harley was everything he remembered it to be—if not more. Saying the distance between them had been hard would be a huge understatement. He just hoped it hadn’t taken its toll. That Harley hadn’t decided she couldn’t do this anymore.
Harley was the love of his life. And living without her would be something akin to living without air.
The pews in front of them were steadily filling with the small crowd that had fallen under the category of close friends and family. Among them, he saw his own parents moving towards the front row, his mum flashing him a smile as she settled into her seat. He smiled back, then felt the familiar fist in his chest as his dad made his way towards the three of them. He kept his eyes on his father, unanswered questions pushing to the forefront of his mind as the older man avoided eye contact.
His dad came to a stop in front of Tay, his hand extended and his grin wide. Proud. ‘Welcome to the family, son,’ he said to Tay. A pang of jealousy ripped through Joey and he hated the fact that his father still had that affect. After all these years. Despite everything.
Unable to focus on the remainder of their conversation, he clenched his fists in front of him and squeezed his eyes shut to gain control over himself. By the time he opened his eyes, his dad was standing in front of him, a look in his eyes that confused him.
‘Dad,’ Joey said flatly. ‘Andie will be glad you made it.’
His dad’s Adam’s apple moved as he swallowed, his lips pressed together, though Joey thought he’d seen a slight quiver. ‘You look good, Trevor.’
It lacked the criticising undertone that usually laced his father’s voice whenever he spoke to him, and it made Joey wonder. ‘Did you get my email?’
Between returning from Margaret River and going back to work, and with Harley and his mother’s help, Joey had organised for a DNA test to be done. He’d received the results via email and had forwarded it to his father with a message. Short, succinct. Nothing fancy.
Dad. For your peace of mind. Trevor.
He hadn’t been able to manage anything else. He figured the results would speak for him. Really, he wasn’t sure whose peace of mind it had been for. A small part of him had hoped that he wasn’t his son to justify the way he’d been treated growing up. Another part of him knew that it didn’t matter either way.
He held his father’s eyes now, waiting for a response, refusing to look away, even when his father looked uncomfortable under his steady gaze. But there was still something in his eyes that Joey hadn’t seen before. A sadness. Regret?
Finally, his father spoke. ‘I did.’
‘And?’
His father swallowed again, his hands twisting together in front of him before he let them fall to his side. ‘I didn’t look at the file.’
Joey felt the weight drop in his stomach. Even after all these years, after wanting his mother to get a test done when he was just a child, the man was still too proud and stubborn for his own good.
‘I don’t need a test to tell me that you’re my son.’
Joey blinked, not sure if he’d heard his dad correctly. Who was this man? The man who had never gotten close to him his whole life, using the fact he didn’t think Joey was
his son as an excuse … and now this? Had he known all along and just not wanted him? Joey swallowed, then swallowed again, trying to work through the lump stuck in his throat.
‘I owe you an apology,’ his father continued. ‘I was going through a rough patch and I laid the blame on your mother. By the time you were a teenager, I knew you couldn’t be anyone else’s. You were my son. You looked just as I had at your age and had the determination to go with it. But by then it was too late. The damage had been done. How could I ask forgiveness from a son I didn’t deserve? You were closer to your pop, and it was probably better that way.’
Joey was only slightly aware of the hustle around them, the change in atmosphere. He was still trying to process what his dad was trying to say, and he had no time to respond.
‘It wasn’t that I was never proud of you, Trevor, but I was scared. Scared I’d reach out to you and you wouldn’t want anything to do with me. Scared I’d lose my son. But I’d already lost you, hadn’t I?’
His mind was still reeling when the celebrant came up to them and rested a hand on his father’s shoulder. ‘She’s ready for you.’
Joey watched as his dad swiped at his eyes, gave him a weak smile, and turned to walk away. ‘Dad,’ he called out, the fog in his head starting to clear.
His father turned to face him, and Joey realised that the coldness he’d always seen in his eyes was not hate, but grief. He’d had to live with the thought that he’d lost his son long ago because of his own stupid actions. And he’d still been living with it long after Joey had left home.
‘It’s not too late.’
His father blinked, a glimmer of hope flickering in his eyes. His smile was more genuine now, and he nodded before turning away again to walk his daughter down the aisle.
It was then that Joey caught Tay and Connor staring at him. He took in a deep breath and nodded, the two men smiling at him before turning their eyes forward. And Joey’s nerves returned. The bridal tune began, and then he saw her.
Harley.
Her eyes locked on his the second she saw him, and his heart pounded ferociously in his chest. It was as though the nerves disappeared and he felt like he was home again. She was so beautiful, her soft brown hair styled in gentle waves over her shoulders, her smile seeming to radiate sunshine around them, warming him from the inside out. Even her dress was beautiful. He remembered her saying it was mauve and something about tulle, but none of that meant anything to him except for the fact that she made it look about a billion times better than it was. It was a simple dress, and yet she looked like a princess.