Not once had his visions ever made a sound. They were always silent, wavering, a curse and a blessing in equal measure.
It really was her. His goddess.
Creed dropped to his knees right there on the forest floor. Moss and wood chippings and wet leaves broke his fall. He was powerless to move. He could barely breathe. His heart slammed hard into his ribs, echoing loud in his ears.
Ba-boom. Ba-boom. Ba-boom.
And then she was there, eyes wide and luminous, tears spilling from the corners and snaking down her cheeks, running off her nose, over her beautiful red lips. She took his hands in both of hers and sobbed harder, her small shoulders wracked with the sound of her sobs.
It broke him. Hearing her cry. God, he loved this woman. More than his own fucking life. She was his. She had been then and she was now. And that’s why he’d left her behind.
“You were here this whole time,” she sobbed. She glared at him with red rimmed eyes. “Why? Why did you leave me? Why didn’t you come for me? You knew where I was. You were only two hours away!”
She pulled one hand from his and struck him hard across the face. He didn’t react, so she did it again, harder.
“Fuck!” She grabbed her stinging palm, cradling it against her chest. “You fucking, motherfucker! I could… I could cut your balls off for this!”
Creed cracked a small smile. His face stung, but he relished the pain. She had every right to be angry with him.
“Don’t tell me you were too busy building a life for us.” She glanced around his land, at the small log cabin he’d managed to assemble behind them, at the garden off to the right, beside the house, at the well beside that. She took in the trees and the land, the hills, and below, in the distance, the shimmering waters of the small lake.
There was no road in to the property. Just a path that a person had to know was there to find it. He’d stashed a truck in the bush half a mile’s walk from the cabin, near a gravel road that eventually ended up back on the main drag anyone took to get anywhere.
“I can’t tell you that,” he said slowly, hating himself when he watched pain flood her eyes. She wrapped her arms around herself like he’d sucker punched her and he knew exactly what she felt. He knew that pain well. He was no stranger to the moments it stabbed at him, nearly bringing him to his knees.
“Right. Of course you can’t. Because this is all for you.” Her eyes shot daggers at him. “You left me there! You fucking left me there, Creed! You made a promise to me and you broke it.”
“I didn’t break any promises to you,” he said evenly, under his breath. He wanted to wrap her up in his arms, so haul her against his chest and kiss the damn life out of her, but he didn’t move. He didn’t even get off his knees.
“You promised to keep me safe! I trusted you!”
“I did keep you safe.” He looked her right in the eyes and the hair on the back of his neck stood on end. God, she looked good. Better than ever. Happy. Fulfilled. He just hated the glimmer of pain he saw in her eyes, the pain he’d put there.
“You left me!” She yelled, her voice echoing through the quiet woods.
“I did leave you.” Creed glanced towards the cabin, then back at Kate. “I left you because I made you a promise and that promise was that I’d do anything to keep you safe. I meant it. So instead of dragging you back into my life with me, I left you be. I cut out my heart and I left it with you that day. There hasn’t been a single day that I haven’t regretted what I did, but knowing that I was- that- that you deserved so much better than a man who almost got you killed, or worse, I let you be. I hoped you’d move on, find someone else, lead a good life.”
He waited. The breeze stirred the leaves overhead. The sun gleamed down on them, glinting off the blade of his axe. His muscles ached from the hours of labor he’d put in all morning. The ache in his heart was so much worse.
Shockingly, a crooked smile formed on Kate’s lips. “What the fuck could be worse than dead?”
He gaped at her. “What?”
“You said, dead or worse? What could be worse than death?”
He could think of a couple things, but there was no way in hell he would ever tell her and taint her further. It was just proof that they’d come from different worlds, different lives, and those worlds and lives had intersected for a brief second in time before everything went to hell. She’d nearly died. Because of him. He didn’t need any more proof that he didn’t deserve her. Their worlds were meant to be separate.
“There’s just one thing wrong with your whole theory,” Kate countered, when he didn’t respond. “I don’t believe in all that shit. All that romance bullshit. So I wouldn’t just move on and find someone else.” She stood slowly and he forced himself to her feet so she didn’t have to yell down at him, though he would have deserved every second of the wrath she rained down.
“I… Kate- you have to understand. I did the right thing. I made sure you got help. I left. I left because you didn’t deserve a life like this. The only kind of life I could offer you was one of danger and violence. You deserve so much more than that. You don’t deserve to be uprooted from your family, always on the run, always looking over your shoulder.”
She glanced around again, anger sparking in her eyes. “Oh yeah? That what you’re doing here? Running? Is this the shitty life you’re talking about? The dangerous, violent one? Do you look over your shoulder often out here?”
“I had to be sure. I had to be sure everyone died that night and no one was coming after me. I…”
“I was sure the night after it happened. Jack was sure. He told me no one survived. That was the police report. The entire club was wiped out by their own fucking stupidity.”
“You don’t understand! They didn’t know I survived. There could have been others who got away. I looked, but…”
“Then you should have known they all gunned each other down, one by one.”
“That club, Kate, you don’t get it. Those guys- they were- some of them were once my brothers. They were men who stood for something. Family. The goons, they came later. The fucked up ones who owed loyalty to no one- that came after Jim took over. We weren’t always a bunch of bad guys doing bad things. Once, we stood for something.”
“That’s kind of rich.”
“No, it’s not. If you had come from nothing, had been raised with nothing, if you were desperate, if all you’d known was a life of violence and bullshit and struggling to survive, any place where you could lay your head at night with a full belly, any place you didn’t have to worry about being stabbed or shot or fucked with by someone else, any place where you had a brother at your side, just one, to watch your back, felt like home. It felt like heaven. You have no idea.”
“Then why won’t you tell me? Why didn’t you take me with you and let me be a part of your life?” She swept a hand around. “A part of all of this? Why…”
“Because I wanted to protect you!” He stalked forward and gripped her arms. Touching her was a mistake. He let her go like she’d fucking burned him. The contact sent a straight jolt of red hot hit ripping up his arms. He was instantly hard. He imagined throwing her down on the ground, ripping up her dress and taking her. Sinking deep inside of her, her legs wrapped around his waist as her cries of ecstasy rang in his ears. He trembled as hard as the leaves blowing above him. “I did the best I could, you cray, stupid, foolish girl. You think it was easy, being so close and having to stay away? You think it was easy leaving you there that night? Do you think it was easy dreaming about you, seeing you, every single day and not once was it real? You’ve haunted me up here.”
“So when were you coming for me then? You have to be sure by now. Everyone is gone. No one is coming for you. Whatever was, it’s gone now, it’s in the past.”
Creed hung his head. He’d never known such bitter, acrid, defeat in his life. “Kate- you still don’t understand. I couldn’t come for you, because someone did survive. Me.”
She gripped his face and f
orced him to look up into her burning, bright, liquid blue eyes. The pain twisting her face gutted him completely. “You idiot,” she hissed. “You? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. You survived. You bloody survived and you did nothing to come find me! You hid yourself away up here like a coward, because that was easier than admitting that you’re fucked. That you’re so fucked.”
“I am fucked! Now you’re finally making sense.” He gripped her wrists. “I am my past, Kate. I survived and that’s inside of me. The things I’ve done, the man I am. I’m no good for you. I was dreaming when I told you that you were mine. I was fucking dreaming because I’ve never wanted anyone more than I wanted you.”
“You weren’t dreaming!” Her nails dug into his cheeks. “God, you weren’t dreaming. I thought you were crazy, but I was wrong. I am yours. Ever since that night. Every single day I’ve been living my life, trying to do it to the fullest after we almost- well- after I almost couldn’t. And every single day I feel like I’m failing, because you’re not with me. I have this seed of hope in my heart. I’ve carried it with me since that night. I knew you couldn’t be dead. I would have sensed it. I would have known. I knew you were alive. I kept this hope alive that you’d come back for me.”
“I couldn’t.”
“You could have! And you didn’t! But Jack knew. He had someone search for you and he found you. You couldn’t hide from both of us.”
“I should never have come to the house that night-”
“Yeah, but you did! You did and I haven’t ever been right! I don’t believe in romance or fairy tales, but you know what I do believe in? Love. Because I know that’s what I feel when I think about you. When I dream about you. You’re right here!” She ripped her hand from her face and threw it over her chest. “You’re this ache that never goes away. I keep hearing your promise. A promise where you’d never leave me. I keep hearing your voice telling me I’m years. I’m pretty sure that that’s love. Or that it could be. We don’t have forever. That night proved that for me. We only get a little bit of time and I want to spend my time with you. So don’t you dare tell me to turn around and go back home. I am home. You’re my home. You made a promise to me and I’m not going to let you break it. You’re-”
He didn’t let her finish. He would have liked, to but he couldn’t. His last thread of self-control snapped. He’d kept himself up there, away from her, for far too long. He gripped her face, hard, and pulled her to him. He crushed his mouth to hers. For the first time since that night, the first time in over a year, his life actually made sense.
Chapter 17
KATE
Creed’s kiss wasn’t sweet or gentle. It sure as hell wasn’t romantic. It was desperate and lonely, filled with guilt and terror and confusion. Overriding it all was raw male need. She kissed him back, went to war with his mouth, tried to convince him that he needed her, in all the ways she couldn’t with words. Her tongue stroked his like a plea. Come back to me. We were meant to be together. She’d had a year to get over her fears about what it truly meant to give herself to another person. She’d had a year to do a hell of a lot of thinking.
She wasn’t leaving there without him, or she wasn’t leaving. Period.
Her hands hid the warm, broad wall of his chest. His muscles were slick and damn with sweat. She dug her nails in to his shoulder and he grunted against her lips. She applied more force and he got the picture. He fell backwards, dragging her down with him. They fell in a crumpled heap on the ground, her dress twisted around his denim clad legs.
The breeze blew softly by them, cooling some of the sweat that beaded along her hairline and rustling a few of the leaves above them. The branches moved softly in the woods, but the only other sound was them.
The frantic nipping, licking, biting, sucking of their mouths on each other’s bodies, the swish and sway of fabric as their hands clutched furiously at it. Finally, the metallic zing of a zipper. Creed shifted under her, enough to get his damn jeans out of the way. He went for her dress next, rucking it around her hips.
Kate’s hands fell to his chest as she righted herself. His skin was damp. He was a wall of muscle, maybe even harder, firmer, more glorious than she remembered. Hard labor out in the bush had taken its toll, and god, it was beautiful. She inhaled sharply, taking in the crisp scent of the woods and the duskier, stronger, more potent scent of sweat and man. She dipped her head and traced her lips along the column of his neck. She tasted his stubble and below that, his collarbones, where the salty tang of sweat lingered. He invaded her sense, pushing each one to the brink.
Her heart beat frantically as she reached between them. His cock was heavy and hot in her palm. She traced her hand along his shaft, to the tip, which was already soaked. She smeared that wetness down the length of him while her body begged for it. She needed him to be inside of her. She needed to take all of him, over and over again. She needed him to take her to the brink, to make her feel what she’d never felt before, before him. She needed him to put back the pieces and make her whole again.
She gripped him in her hand and as her eyes slammed shut, she slowly lowered herself down. She didn’t take him right away. She let him slide through her folds, let him feel how wet and swollen she was for him already.
Creed groaned and shameless bucked upwards, trying blindly to find her entrance. She throbbed deep inside and her wild need clenched her insides in a tight, unrelenting fist. Creed’s hands circled around her hips, to the globes of her ass, where he gripped her hard.
“You don’t get to decide for me,” she panted. “Whether I love you or not.”
“Kate,” he moaned.
Her eyes flew open and she stared into his dark orbs. “Say it,” she demanded. “Tell me that you know that you don’t get to decide for me whether I love you or not. Tell me that you know that I’m strong enough to make that decision for myself and understand the consequences.”
“Lord, you were always meant to be mine,” Creed ground out. His fingers kneaded the flesh of her ass and tendrils of pain and pleasure shot through her. “Always. From the first second I saw you. I don’t know what it means to love someone. Not truly. You said yourself that you don’t believe in it.”
“I said I didn’t believe in romance. I made it pretty clear that I believe in love. I don’t know if either of us knows how to do it. Love.” She swiveled her hips and his cock slid through her folds again. He was soaked with her wetness and likely his own. “But we could learn. We could try. Instead of just fucking giving up.” She planted her knees in the earthy forest floor and rose up. “Or maybe I should go. Since you didn’t think you were missing anything all this time.”
Creed let out a growl that was so fearsome it shook the trees around them. He slammed her roughly against him, trapping his hard dick between them. Which much have heart like a motherfucker, but he didn’t even so much as wince.
“I tried to do what was best for you,” he ground out.
“Like some noble fucking hero.”
“Kate…” his hips hammered upwards, drilling his cock into the side of her thigh. A vein stood out at his forehead and throbbed at his neck. It did something wild to her insides, to see him like that, so out of control. “Please… tried- to- save you… from me…” he ground out.
She shook her head and gyrated her hips, grinding against him. “You forgot the most important part. You never asked me what I wanted.”
“I- do you have any idea- how hard it was to stay away?”
She bore down harder, his cock drilling uselessly into her leg. “As hard as this? Right now?”
Creed let out another growl that echoed around them. She rocked against him helplessly, because in truth, she needed him. Needed him everywhere. Inside of her. In her life. She needed him more than she’d ever needed another person, and that did scare her. It had scared her for her entire life, but she was over fear. She wanted this. She wanted him. She wanted them.
“Fuck this,” Creed said heatedly. “I can’t p
lay nice anymore. You want me? You have me now.” He spun her in one fluid, violent, shocking motion. He was on top of her and she was on her back, wet leaves and tree roots pressing into her spine and shoulders and neck. The cold of it was astounding, given that the sun was so hot above them.
Creed brought his cock to her entrance. He didn’t hesitate. He pushed inside of her, filling her up in one long, thick, heated stroke. He retreated, but he pushed inside again, harder, further. He did it over and over and she clenched around him. Her legs wrapped around his hard waist, her heels dug into the glorious muscles of his ass. She buried her fingers in hair that had grown out almost to his ears. She craved the rasp and scrape of his long beard against her cheek.
He fucked her hard, so hard her back sunk an inch into the dirt below them. He filled her up, every single inch of her. Kate buried her face in his neck and let her tears flow. They scalded her cheeks, not for what had happened or the year they’d missed, but because she finally, finally, felt complete. She’d been missing him, missing that piece of herself. Not just in the past year, but her entire life.
She let him claim her. She let him mark her. She let him fill her in so many ways that weren’t physical. Her body responded as Creed gave himself up to her. They were wild, the sex unlike anything she’d ever experienced before.
She opened herself up. Body. Heart. Soul. Everything. She gave Creed everything and she knew he felt it too, the connection, the wild energy, the rightness that had always been there.
When she was close, her muscles straining, body aching, clenching all around him, he gripped her face in his hand.
“That’s it, Kate. Come for me. Come so fucking hard.”
He pushed inside of her, faster, harder, filling her, hitting spots that she hadn’t felt before. He went deeper, stroking her inside, caressing her, building the heat further, beyond anything she thought possible. She trembled below him, around him and then he tucked his hand under her ass and lifted her hips and thrust harder, taking everything to an entirely new level.
Creed: A Motorcycle Club Romance (Lonely Rider MC Book 3) Page 12