Buried

by Emma Shelford

  “Don’t be silly,” she says. “Isn’t love a typically human emotion? Everything you’ve done has been fueled by that. And you’ve shown mercy plenty, too, even if you had to be reminded sometimes.” I glance at her and she grins. “I’ll just have to come to terms with you being multifaceted. I mean, not only are you from a different time, but you’re partly from a different plane of existence. But it’s like you told me once―deep down, everyone wants the same things. We’re not that different, really.”

  I nod slowly. Jen’s words lift a weight off my shoulders that had settled there when she started being afraid of me, and only got heavier when I found out my heritage. I might be different, but I’m not alone.

  “I think I’m starting to get it, that’s all I’m trying to say,” Jen says. She elbows me again. “We’re still good friends, right?”

  “Always,” I say, and put my arm around her shoulders.

  I watch Alejandro’s ministration of Minnie. He’s now joined by Wayne and Gary, who have finished duct-taping their prisoners. Minnie appears bewildered by the attention but relieved that she is surrounded by friendly faces.

  My chest feels too small for the emotion trapped inside. Minnie is safe. She will live to see another day, and I want to be there to see it with her, by her side. I hope she can forgive my harsh words from earlier. I can’t deny my feelings anymore, and I don’t want to. The future will come, there’s nothing I can do about that, but I can live for today. Perhaps I will unravel at the end, but some things are worth the risk. I look at Minnie’s pale face and hopeful smile and think of the future that might be ours to share.

  “Uh, Merlo?” Alejandro calls out. “Did you take back all your lauvan from me? It’s just that, well, I think Minnie is a very nice lady, but I’m sure I don’t want to do the things I’m thinking about with her.”

  I leap to Alejandro to a chorus of laughter from the others. My cheeks burn while I disentangle the last few brown strands from Alejandro’s green ones, but I don’t mind the guffaws. It’s a welcome release from the tension of all the events that led us here.

  I drop to my knees before Minnie. Her eyes show that she needs answers, but that she trusts me to give them to her. I stroke her cheek with the back of my fingers.

  “Are you all right?” I ask softly.

  “I don’t know,” she murmurs.

  “Can you make it to the car?”

  She nods and accepts my arm to stand.

  “What about all of these people?” Wayne gestures to the group of Potestas members.

  “Damn it. There are always loose ends.” I run my hand through my hair in frustration. “I would love to press charges, but the whole situation is so complicated and out of any police officer’s ballpark that I’m afraid it would be futile. Not to mention March probably has the best lawyers in the city. Granted, I can afford them if we need to, but it would be a battle.”

  “What if you change their memories?” Wayne says.

  “Messing with their heads? I didn’t think you would be up for that, Wayne,” I say.

  “I think it’s justified in this case,” he says firmly.

  “I can do it, but a change that large will leave scars. They’ll lose a piece of their lives that they’ll never get back. If the process doesn’t physically damage their minds, the psychological trauma of the lost time will cause issues. Personally, I think they’ve earned some trauma, but I’m open to hearing objections. Anyone?”

  My friends are silent. The Potestas members who overheard my explanation start to shout, but I ignore them.

  “Minnie, is that all right with you?” I say. “If I modify their memories so they have no recollection of needing to hurt you, this mad organization, any of it? Or would you like to press charges?”

  “Can you really do that?” she says in a wandering voice. It was probably too much to ask her to make that decision, given what she’s been through, but it really is hers to make.

  “Yes,” I say gently.

  “Then do it. I don’t want to think about this whole mess ever again.”

  “Alejandro?” I say. “Can you help Minnie through the tunnel? I’ll catch you up shortly with this lot in tow. I suppose we shouldn’t leave them here to be trapped by the tide.”

  Wayne’s eyes widen.

  “We should hurry. It’s rising. Who knows how long we have?”

  Wayne leads the way to the tunnel, and the rest of my friends file out of the cavern. One by one, I twist the strands of the Potestas members. Most look terrified and squirm incessantly, shouting obscenities and threats, at least until I knot the appropriate threads. Then a look of dreamy unconcern passes across their faces. I backhand each one on the cheek for good measure before I untie each. They don’t deserve to walk away from this entirely unscathed. They take the punishment with composure in their trance-like states.

  I approach Anna last. She alone has remained quiet during the process.

  “What I wouldn’t give to know your secrets,” she says with a shake of her head. “So much potential, squandered.”

  “What makes you think I’ve squandered it?” I ask with real curiosity.

  “Living as an underpaid instructor in a crummy apartment? I could do so much better with your opportunities.”

  “Oh, Anna. There’s so much you don’t know. I’ve lived in palaces, swum in the clearest lagoons, eaten gold-coated confectionaries, slept with the most divine women, sailed in the ships of kings. Trust me, I’ve plumbed the depths of my abilities.” Recent revelations aside. “But, as trite as it sounds, it didn’t bring me satisfaction, happiness, or peace. Not lasting, in any event. So, don’t pine over what you will never have.” I reach to her head and she winces. “Don’t fret, I won’t let you pine. In fact, you won’t remember me, or Potestas, or spirits, ever again.”

  A tear traces down her cheek.

  “Goodbye, Merry.”

  I gaze into her eyes before I tie the final knot.

  “I hope you find what you’re looking for, Anna.”

  Anna’s tear-filled, passionate eyes glaze over. She gazes at me without recognition or concern. I rip the duct tape off her arms and legs and look around at my handiwork. A couple dozen former Potestas members stare blankly at the rocky walls. I clap my hands three times.

  “Everyone, follow me. Let’s leave this hole.”

  The members turn slowly, as if in a dream, and meander toward me. I shake my head and follow my friends into the light of a beautiful day. Minnie is waiting.

  CHAPTER XXVI

  I catch up with the group before they reach the wet part of the tunnel. A sloshing sound alerts me to danger.

  “Hurry up, folks. The tide is rising.”

  I take over Alejandro’s role in helping Minnie. The members traipse silently behind us, and my friends glance at them with consternation.

  “Super creepy, Merry,” Jen says to me quietly.

  I would answer, but when we limp around a corner, light is visible at the end of the tunnel. It’s now a third full of cold salt water, and waves surge toward us through the narrow opening. We charge ahead, hampered by the water. I glance at Minnie, whose face is pale but determined.

  We burst forth into blazing light that nearly blinds us in its intensity. A strangled cry greets my ears.

  “You’re finally here!”

  Cecil has dragged himself onto a rock. His face is bloodless from pain. My fix must have worn off. I pass Minnie once more to Alejandro and slosh over to Cecil.

  “I can’t do much with the tide rising,” I say. “A few tweaks for the pain, then Wayne will have to carry you out of the water.”

  “Whatever,” he gasps. “Just get me out of here.”

  I fiddle with the lauvan near his head, and he relaxes as I block the discomfort. Wayne carefully drapes Cecil over his back in a fireman’s carry, and we rush out of the bay.

  Around the corner, the waves are even worse. I keep Minnie upright, and Liam holds Wayne steady against the rising surges. The
Potestas members press forward without emotion. It’s a long, cold slog back to the car, and by the end we push through saltwater that is up to our waists.

  At the cars, I siphon water off everyone, settle Minnie in my passenger’s seat, and spend five minutes hastily healing Cecil.

  “I’ll fix you better tomorrow. Anyone need healing? Step up now.”

  Wayne pushes Gary forward, who grumbles but doesn’t resist my attention. I fix his bruised jaw, Wayne’s cracked ribs, Alejandro’s sprained wrist, and Liam’s bruised kidneys.

  “What about them?” Wayne points at the Potestas members, who stand in a cluster at the edge of the parking lot.

  “Don’t worry about them. They’ll wake up from their trance in a few hours. They’ll be competent enough then. Can we meet up tomorrow to talk about all this?” I say with a thumb pointed at Minnie. “I want to take her home.”

  “Of course, Merlo,” says Alejandro. The others nod in agreement. “Take care of Minnie.”

  ***

  I glance sideways as I turn the doorknob of my apartment. Minnie’s eyes are fixed on my face and she is pale, too pale. Her midnight-blue lauvan cling tightly to her body so there is almost no separation between them and her physical form.

  “Come on,” I say. “Let’s get you inside.”

  Minnie nods silently and steps past me when I hold the door open for her. She stops and hugs herself, as if she is unsure what to do next. I move to her and wrap my arms around her from the side. She stiffens briefly then turns to drop her head on my shoulder. I rub her back through the layers of her shirt and my coat, up and down on repeat. She leans more heavily into me.

  The feeling from the sacrifice room, the feelings I was able to set aside for a while in the face of Minnie’s distress, roar back with a vengeance. I want Minnie. I want her beside me every day. I want to wake up and see her face on the pillow next to me. I want to hear about her day at work, every day. I want to take her to my favorite places around the globe―the prettiest beach in Thailand, the most awe-inspiring view of the red rocks in Arizona, the best bakery in Paris―and I want to stay here in this tiny apartment forever clutching each other. I want to watch her body change through all the glorious transformations of womanhood, and I want to kiss her until her fears of ageing melt into never-forgotten pleasure. I want to bicker about trivial things, and I want to explore and debate the bigger ideas deep into the night. I want to tell her who I am, everything, with nothing hidden. I want Minnie Dilleck, from this moment until death inevitably parts us.

  I can’t deny it any longer. I’m in love, and I don’t know how to fall out of love. What’s more, I’ve reached the point where I don’t want to, despite the knowledge of our parting one day, the inexorable march toward death and loneliness. I can’t fight this anymore, no matter what happens in the future.

  Minnie stirs in my arms and I realize I’ve been clutching her fiercely. I loosen my grip, and she looks up at me. Her eyes are expressive, as if she knows exactly what I’m feeling. We gaze at each other for a moment. I feel naked in front of her understanding gaze, and I don’t mind in the slightest. She closes her eyelids briefly, as if they are too heavy for her.

  “I want a shower, but it seems like way too much effort.” She closes her eyes. “I’m so tired.”

  “Do you want help?” I bite my tongue as I wait for Minnie’s answer. Now that I’m in love, now that Minnie is a woman who really matters to me, I’m afraid of being too cavalier, scaring her off or driving her away. She’s too important now to take chances with.

  Happily, her lips twitch in an amused fashion. It’s brief, but I catch it. A solemn expression back on her face, she opens her eyes.

  “Yes, please.”

  I keep my arm around Minnie’s shoulder as I navigate her to the bathroom. It’s tiny, but we manage to squeeze in. I release Minnie and turn to run the shower for hot water. Once I’m satisfied it’s the perfect temperature, I turn around.

  Minnie stands before me, entirely naked. She looks a little self-conscious, clearly aware of my eyes on her. I let my gaze travel down her body―she may be nervous, but I’m a man, not a saint―and find myself wanting Minnie even more. She wouldn’t make the cut for a magazine―her hips and thighs are plumper than the modern ideal, and her breasts are smaller―but I’m not a modern man. Her nipples stiffen, and her breasts tighten as my eyes reach them, perhaps from a mixture of my gaze and the cool air. My breathing quickens slightly.

  “I hope you realize how beautiful you are,” I say. Minnie looks away from my eyes and pushes air through her lips in a little huff of a laugh as if denying my admiration, but her cheeks grow pink and her lauvan squirm. I step back and spread my arm toward the shower. Minnie steps toward it but stops and turns when she passes me. She hovers for a moment, searching my face, then reaches a hand up to cup my head and guide it to her lips.

  She’s nervous and unsure, yet she knows exactly what to do to stoke the fire. Or perhaps anything she does will do that to me. I’m in too deep to know the difference.

  Minnie finishes the kiss and steps into the shower without a word. I watch her bottom jiggle as she climbs over the sill and an image of Josephine climbing into a bathtub springs unbidden to my mind. Somehow the memory doesn’t feel disrespectful to Minnie, nor does this moment diminish what I had with Josephine.

  Quickly I undress, leaning against the counter to pull off my socks and dropping everything in a heap on the floor. I push aside the curtain and step into the shower. Minnie stands with her back to me, entirely still, allowing the water to pour over her bowed head in an endless deluge. Her wet hair is plastered to her neck and drapes on either side of her face. She looks so tired and helpless that my heart clenches, and I want to embrace her, to never let Potestas or anyone else hurt her ever again.

  “Minnie.” She doesn’t respond. I say again, “Minnie. Let’s get you clean and into bed, okay?”

  She nods slightly but doesn’t move. I pick up the bar of soap and rub it between my hands. I pause for a moment, considering, then carefully run my soapy hand over her shoulder and down her arm.

  Minnie doesn’t react physically, but her lauvan immediately relax from their tight clustering near her body. I’m heartened by this reaction, that she not only feels comfortable around me after all the strangeness at the sacrifice room, but that my touch on her naked skin soothes her. I feel like we know each other much better than we really do.

  When I reach her wrist, she twists her arm and raises it above her head with her elbow crooked. I take it as an invitation to continue and run my hand down her arm toward her torso. Her dark blue strands wave lazily at me, but I refrain from touching them yet. When I reach her underarm, she flinches, and I jolt my hand away in consternation.

  “What is it?” Did I hurt her? Go too far?

  “Sorry. It just tickled.” She gives a small chuckle and I breathe out in relief. I lather my hand and return it to her side. Minnie’s threads immediately wrap around my own and my eyes close with the pleasure of connection. It feels so natural that I wonder briefly what took us so long. Correction―what took me so long.

  I continue soaping her body, eventually running my slippery hands over her breasts, sliding over her stiff nipples but not stopping, soaping her stomach in slow circles until enough of her lauvan wrap around the strands of my hand and inexorably draw it down between her legs.

  When we finally make it to the bedroom, our lovemaking is unhurried. I have the sense that we’ve done this before, and we are simply reacquainting ourselves. It’s funny what love makes you feel. There’s also no rush because we have years ahead of us. Why not take the time to enjoy each other?

  She comes, and I come right after. Our bodies slow and then stop. I hang my head as I prop my body above Minnie’s on my elbows. Our panting breaths mingle as we lay still with me inside her. We’re so close together, just the way we should be. Unexpectedly, my eyes start to burn with unshed tears, and I bury my face into Minnie’s neck. She stro
kes my hair gently.

  “What’s wrong?” she whispers in my ear.

  “I just want to stay in you, with you, this close to you forever.” My voice is muffled but she must hear me because she squeezes me tightly.

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  I just hold her closer. She will, one day. It’s inevitable. But I don’t need to dwell on that. We’re here together, today. That’s enough. It will have to be.

  CHAPTER XXVII

  Dreaming

  Arthur pulls on his boots by the fire while Guinevere packs his saddlebag. Morgan and her forces have attacked Framric’s settlement again, the home of Guinevere’s people, and we had no warning. Arthur sent out riders early this morning to muster our forces to aid Framric, and fighters have been trickling in. We are due to leave shortly.

  But not before I speak with Nimue.

  “Where are you going?” Arthur calls out after me as I stride through the hall. “We’re leaving soon.”

  “I’ll catch you up. I won’t be long.” My words barely make it out of my mouth before I am out the door toward the sleeping chambers.

  Nimue folds my spare shirt and slides it into a saddlebag when I enter my chamber. She looks up and smiles, although her eyes are sad.

  “I didn’t think you would have to leave so soon after I arrived,” she says. “But I understand duty.”

  “Nimue, I need to say something. I―well, you make me―” This is far harder than I anticipated. My heart beats in an irregular fashion and my palms are damp. I growl with frustration at my inability to speak the words in my heart. I know many dialects, but this translation eludes me until Nimue slides her slender fingers into mine.

  “What do you wish to say?” She looks at me with a teasing smile. “Come, now, I’ve never known you to be tongue-tied.”

  “I had grander plans for this moment,” I say hoarsely. “A beautiful view, perhaps. A meadow of flowers. But if I don’t say it now, when can I? There’s never a good time, but it’s always the right time.”