by Lindsey Hart
“Uh- why?”
“I guess… because he felt that women were using him for his money, and he didn’t like it. He found it hard to find someone who just wanted to be with him for him, so he was kind of like me. After a few bad experiences, he just kind of quit the whole thing.”
“Sounds a lot like you. I kept telling you that prince charming was out there. You just had to kiss all the frogs first and blah, blah, blah, but you didn’t believe me.”
“Ross and I aren’t together. What happened last night was a mistake and I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again. We got carried away. That was it. After his parents walking in on us, we’re never going to go there again. We learned our lesson. We’re just going to be friends.”
Amy sighed dramatically. “That’s so disappointing. I would have liked to hear more dramatic horrifying and embarrassing stories. Or just steamy stories. You never date anyone hot. Ross is really, really hot.”
“You’re married!”
“I know, I know. I was just thinking for you. You deserve to be with someone who is going to give you a good experience. You’ve had a string of real stinkers in bed.”
“Thanks,” Teela shot back dryly. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Just saying… maybe if it’s going to happen again, you should just let it. Just for you. Treat yourself.”
“You were just telling me how bad an idea that was!” Teela said incredulously.
“Maybe I changed my mind.”
“No, you just like to hear about drama and all my mortifying moments.”
Amy grinned. “What are best friends for?” She gripped Teela’s hand. “Anyway, I’m sure tomorrow will be fine. Just be yourself. They’ll love you.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of. Being myself. I swear I’m not that lovable.”
“That’s crazy talk. I love you. I love you like a sister. I’m sure they’ve forgotten all about what your box looks like. Even if they haven’t, they’ll be seeing it again in like, seven months.”
“Amy! They will not! I’m not letting anyone in there with me!”
“Not even me?”
“You want to witness me screaming and yelling like a madwoman while I’m in labor?”
“Of course! Like I said, what are friends for?”
“Well maybe I’ll make an exception for you then, but my parents and Ross’ parents and Ross himself aren’t going to be allowed in there. No way. I don’t need to be completely traumatized by the experience. And my poor va-jay is never going to be the same. Don’t need to traumatize it any more either by letting every single person on earth see it getting all stretched and ruined horribly.”
“I’m sure that’s not really a thing.”
“Want to bet?”
“Maybe after like five or six. Not after one.”
Teela swallowed hard. “I hope so. I never really thought about that part when I’d planned on being single for the rest of my life.” It shouldn’t matter because I’m still going to be single forever.
“Oh,” Amy added. “I almost forgot. Tell Ross that your best friend in the whole world says that if he ever hurts you, I will hunt him down and cut off his nuts with a pair of rusty pruning shears and feed them to the neighborhood cats.”
“Shit on a stick, that would make you sound like a crazy person.”
Amy winked. “When it comes to you, maybe I am.”
Teela groaned. She purposely pushed away thoughts about rusty shears and Ross’ balls which were pretty perfect, from what she remembered. That didn’t help so she tried to think of something else but all her mind could come up with apparently was images of Ross and his ridiculous muscles and bronzed skin and glorious body and masculinity and perfection up the ying-yang straight out of her mind. No, she was not going to think about his tongue or his lips or how talented he was with both of them. Amy was right. Her baby deserved a dad and if she screwed things up with Ross before they even got to that point, things were just going to be ugly and she didn’t want them to be ugly.
She wanted them to be beautiful. For herself. For her baby.
So, Ross was definitely off limits.
And even if she ended up with an ugly va-jay after giving birth, it wasn’t going to matter one bit.
CHAPTER 15
Ross
There had not been a single time in the history of the universe that his parents had ever been so excited about anything.
As soon as he walked in the front door, Teela trailing shyly in his wake, his mom had that oh my god, a baby twinkle in her eye and his dad had one of those I can’t believe you looks on his face. That was positive, Ross thought. Mostly positive. His dad wasn’t as baby crazy as his mom was but it wasn’t exactly a secret that the guy wanted to teach someone how to fish and mow the lawn on the ride on and do all that other grandfatherly things with.
“Oh my goodness, welcome! We’re so glad you could make it!” Ross’ mom skipped him completely and went straight for Teela. She wrapped her into a tight hug and after a second, Teela relaxed into it.
“Mom, you just saw her yesterday,” Ross protested, but his heart wasn’t really in it because Teela’s face actually looked relieved and happy when his mom let her go and it did something all tingly and weird to his stomach.
Every time he heard her talk. Every time he heard her laugh. Every single time he looked at her, breathed in around her and inhaled her fresh scent, he felt that same pinching in his stomach.
Every time his mind wandered, he pictured her naked and he’d swallow and still taste her on his tongue, it wasn’t his stomach doing the pinching. It sent a straight shot of hot lust straight to his groin.
It didn’t help that she’d worn something modest, a black maxi dress, and he’d popped a hard-on as soon as he saw her. He’d told it to behave but apparently his dick didn’t get the listen to commands memo. He’d had to covertly adjust his jeans the whole ride over, right since he picked up Teela and she’d walked out to the car, her breasts outlined, and her hips defined and her ass when she turned…
Fuck. Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it. Stop thinking about it.
“I have dinner almost done. I made roast beef.” His mom paused. “Oh wait. Maybe you don’t like beef. Maybe you don’t eat meat and that’s terribly offensive. Oh… I should have asked first.”
Teela smiled and it brought a little bit of color to her cheeks. Her eyes swept to his face for a split second. “Oh, no, that’s fine. I definitely eat meat.”
“Mom, I was barbequing yesterday when you came over, or did you forget?”
“Oh- well- I was trying to wipe last night completely from my mind.”
His father let out a snort and chuckled as he sauntered off into the living room to indulge in Monday night’s paper and watch the news for two and a half seconds before dinner was ready and his mom yelled at him to get his honey buns to the table. Yes. She actually said that.
His mother scuttled off to the kitchen, leaving them alone.
Teela’s cheeks were scarlet. “Oh my fucking god,” she hissed. “I thought you said they’d forget all about that.”
“They did. You heard her. She’s already wiped it from her mind. Didn’t even remember I was cooking steaks.”
“No, probably because she’s too busy thinking about what my who-ha looks like.”
“Your who-ha? Who calls it a who-ha?”
“What? Should I say my pussy? Would that be better for your delicate sensibilities?’
Ross liked the fire in Teela’s eyes, and he couldn’t help but laugh. “Come on. We’ll sit down at the table.”
“Shouldn’t we offer to help or something?”
“Oh god no.”
Ross took a chance and brushed Teela’s fingers with his. She didn’t pull away but her breath hitched. He felt that same breathlessness whenever he was near her and it was nice to see she wasn’t unaffected either. Or maybe she was just sighing, trying to gather enough oxygen into her lungs to keep her brain
from imploding.
“No?”
“No. Offering to help my mom in the kitchen if you’re company is like sacrilege.”
“Why? My mom loves when people come over and help her cook.”
“Not my mom. She was a librarian her whole life. She has a strict set of standards that must be obtained at all times and company lifting a finger to either cook or clean in her own house is a huge no-no.”
“Does she help at other people’s houses?”
“Sometimes. I guess she’d say that’s different though.”
“How so?”
Ross shook his head. “I don’t know. My brain hurts. Let’s just go sit down.”
Teela nodded but as soon as they got into the kitchen, she dropped his hand and made a beeline for his mom, who was flying around the kitchen like a buzzing gnat, never stopping to land, never leaving anything alone.
“Could you use some help, Mrs. Day?” Teela asked politely. She glanced around the kitchen, which was all new.
Ross wouldn’t have been embarrassed to bring her into the house he’d grown up in but he was glad that his parents were in the new place. The kitchen was nice. It wasn’t large, since neither of his parents believed in excess. His mom was a librarian and his dad was a high school teacher so they didn’t have the money or the time for excess when he was growing up. It was nice though, with white cupboards that curled around, big windows, granite countertops, and stainless-steel appliances. The huge window by the double sink overlooked the backyard and off to the right of the island was the dining area with the double patio doors. It let in a lot of light and was probably the best room in the whole house, even though his mom insisted on bay windows in the living room. They faced the wrong direction though, so the only time it was ever sunny was in the early afternoon.
“Oh, call me Mary-Anne. None of that Mrs. Day stuff. And no, honey, you just sit down. I don’t want you straining yourself in your condition.”
Ross grabbed Teela’s hand, ignoring the shiver that skittered up his arm at the contact, and led her over to the large table. It was one of those monstrous things that was way too big for his taste but his mom liked it. She’d chosen upholstered chairs in a black and white floral pattern to put around it. The thing housed eight of them it was so huge.
“That’s code for helping me in my own kitchen is sacrilege,” he whispered under his breath as he pulled out a chair.
Teela dropped into it and cast him a murderous glance. He grinned back. He vowed he’d stop trying to get under her skin, but he couldn’t help it. She was so darn attractive when she was mad that it got him all fired. He shouldn’t like being fired up where she was concerned, but, well, everyone had their failings.
In a few short minutes his mom had filled up the table with plates and bowls overflowing with beef, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, creamed corn, and biscuits. She even added a bowl of ambrosia salad and a dish of peach pie.
“Hank, dear, get those honey buns to the table,” Ross’ mom called out as she plunked down a batch of serving utensils.
Ross cringed and had to stifle a laugh at the same time. Teela shot him a look and he could tell that she was probably biting on her inner cheek to keep from bursting out into laughter herself.
Ross’ father ambled into the room. He pulled out a chair, sniffed the air like he always did and sunk down. “Smells delicious. You’ve outdone yourself, sweetheart.”
“Oh, goodness sakes,” Ross’ mom brushed the compliment off but her cheeks were flushed when she sunk down in the seat beside his dad.
He was seated by Teela and his parents were on the other end. As usual, the other four chairs were empty. They probably had never been used, but his mom wouldn’t hear of getting a smaller table. Heaven help the world if they had guests over and there wasn’t enough room for everyone and they had to bring out the dreaded folding chairs.
Everyone dug in, filling their plates. Teela had probably taken two bites before his mom set down her fork. She had that tell-tale ear to ear smile on her face and Ross knew it wasn’t going to be good. Oh no, here we go.
“So, dear, how long have you been pooching my son for?”
CHAPTER 16
Teela
Pooching was a new one. She couldn’t say that she’d ever really heard that term used before. She knew what it meant, but dear lord. It was all she could do not to spit out her mouthful of roast beef. As it was, she had to chew quickly and take a big gulp of water to keep from asphyxiating.
“Mom!” Ross ground out under his breath.
“Oh. I’m sorry!” Mary-Anne’s eyes widened like she didn’t actually realize she’d said anything wrong.
Hank sat beside her, studying his plate like his meal was the most interesting thing to happen that side of the century. He was probably dying a little inside.
“Teel and I- we’ve been er- seeing each other for a while. We were just easing into the relationship, as neither of us have had an easy go of it in the past and we didn’t want to jinx anything and then we found out that she was expecting.”
“So, you’re going to do more than just ease into it now? You’re going to do the right thing, aren’t you son?” Hank cocked a brow and Ross shriveled beside Teela.
Oh god, kill me now. Why aren’t spontaneous sink holes a thing?
“We’re still working it out. It was extremely soon to find out and no one gets married just because they have a child anymore. We want to be good parents and whether that means together or just as friends, then that’s what we’ll do. We’ll put that kid first, don’t you worry.”
“See that you do,” Hank said quietly, but firmly. He sawed off a piece of roast beef and popped it into his mouth followed by a huge swallow of mashed potatoes. He sighed. “This is really good, Mary-Anne. You’ve outdone yourself.”
“Oh nonsense.” Mary-Anne swatted at her husband’s leg underneath the table and it was pretty darn obvious that they were still in love, even after years of marriage.
It made Teela’s chest ache a little bit. Her parents loved each other. She figured they did, but they were never one of those touchy couples. She really hadn’t even seen them hug or kiss over the years. She just assumed they saved that stuff to do in private. Given that her dad slept on the couch nine nights out of ten because he said the bed hurt his back and the TV was much more interesting and just kind of lulled him into an early evening coma that lasted until morning, she thought that was the natural progression of relationships.
Even if people didn’t outright end up hating each other, they just kind of learned to co-exist and the passion just died away and they remained good friends who might give each other a hug now and then or a kiss on the cheek and cared enough to make sure each other had a good day. Even if her parents shared a bed, she doubted there was any kind of anything going on there.
“I’m sure you’ll both do the right thing,” Mary-Anne cut in after a lapse into silence. “Ross is a good boy. We tried to raise him right.”
“Mom!” Ross protested. His tone had the same sinkhole swallow me up desire that she’d just been feeling.
“Well, we did. I don’t see any shame in telling her that. You’re a good boy. A nice boy. And Teela, you look like a nice girl. Not at all like the kind of girls Ross was with in the past. If he had to accidentally make a baby with anyone, I’m glad it was you.”
“Oh my god, can we please just enjoy dinner,” Ross pleaded.
“Oh, well, alright. I suppose so.”
After that the only sound in the room was the forks scraping on plates and the clink of utensils, the lift and lower of a water glass. It was nice. Really. It wasn’t at all uncomfortable. Ross finished off his plate and went for seconds. And thirds.
Teela had no idea how on earth he stayed so trim and muscular if he ate like that. Maybe it wasn’t a regular thing. No one could resist a home cooked meal. She’d eaten more than she had in months. The food was good. Really good.
She was honestly eying him the
peach pie when her mistake became extremely apparent. The extra saliva in her mouth was a dead giveaway. Her palms grew damp and her heart began to pound. Her breath shallowed out and her stomach spun.
“Uh- Ross…” She reached over and gripped his arm. Hard. Hard enough to make him turn to her, eyes wide with surprise. He clearly got the memo. Maybe because she’d suddenly turned a sickening shade of pale. Or green. Probably green.
“Oh. Oh my god.” He had her out of her chair and was steering her out of the kitchen in a flash. They took a sharp left and then he wheeled her down the hall, shoved open a door and hit the switch.
It was good timing. She hit her knees and hugged the bowl as she lost the most delicious dinner she’d had in a long time. It was definitely far less delectable the second time around. She was very aware, even as she was heaving and retching, that she wasn’t a graceful puker. She probably sounded like she was going to die and she was sweaty. Her entire body was soaked, and her clothes clung damply. Her hair, which she’d tucked up on top her head for the night, started to unravel and the strands lay plastered on her forehead. Her mascara was probably running down her cheeks since her eyes were watering so badly.
“I’m sorry,” she said pathetically as she flushed and leaned back. She rested the back of her hand on her damp forehead. “I seriously doubt your mom is ever going to invite me back to dinner again. That wasn’t very complimentary.”
“Don’t worry.” Ross looked at her, and he was… worried. His brow was furrowed, and his eyes narrowed, his lips thinned out and his jaw clenched. “Don’t worry about that at all. She used to remind me all the time, when I was particularly bad or bratty, that she’d been sick as a dog when she was pregnant with me and I should show a little more gratitude to her.”