by Lindsey Hart
Carl flicked the butt end of his cigarette out the window, slammed it shut, and disappeared in a flash.
Ross gaped at Teela. “What?” She shrugged. “I saw him riding it last week. Right past here, when his wife wasn’t home. I know she’s dead set against him getting a bike. She’s afraid he’s going to get himself killed and she’s probably right, because even though he acts all tough, he’s sure as hell not.” She cast an annoyed glance over to the closed window. “I just assumed he was keeping it somewhere else, so she wouldn’t find out about it.”
“Can we please, please, go inside and talk?” Ross was so ready to get off the doorstep so the entire condo complex didn’t have to witness him make a complete ass of himself.
“I don’t think so,” Teela said slowly. She brushed at her cheeks, like she was trying to wipe away the evidence of tears.
Ross hated that he’d hurt her. He hated that she was crying because of him. He hated that he was such a massive ass-hat that he’d somehow managed to ruin this all on his own. She’d done absolutely nothing. It was all on him.
“Please, Teela. Give me one more chance. I know I don’t deserve it. In fact, I actively don’t deserve it, but you- being with you- it’s the only time I’ve ever felt that things were going to be okay. That they were okay. Like, not life and all that- just- I guess life, but everything. I just felt like- like this was special. I’ve never felt anything like this. It made me stupid. It made me do ridiculous things because I knew I was opening myself up and even though it wasn’t supposed to happen it was, and I just… panicked.”
“For the record, you were the one who kissed me the first time, when we were just supposed to be talking. I didn’t have anything to do with that.”
“You liked it though.”
“That has nothing to do with anything.”
“I know you felt it too. Just a little bit. It wasn’t just sex. It wasn’t just- we didn’t just start this because you’re having a baby. I- my parents adore you. I- I adore you.”
Teela’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “It hasn’t been long enough to tell. Maybe you’re just infatuated.”
“I’m not. Or maybe I am, but it’s not that kind of infatuated. If anything, I’m amazed. I’m amazed at you. At how you’re made. At how you think. At how witty and smart you are. At how… how good you are at your job. At how you hold the place together. At your spirit and your resilience. At… your beauty and your grace and your-”
“Oh for goodness sakes.” Teela’s cheeks flushed pink. She rolled her eyes and retreated back into the house, but she left the door open. “If you’re going to start that, then you better come in. I’m out here in a bathrobe and I look like a hot mess and you’re saying things like that. I don’t want the entire neighborhood to hear this.”
Ross didn’t have to be asked twice.
CHAPTER 24
Teela
Honestly, Teela thought the next time she’d see Ross would be at the lawyer’s office after she had the baby. Not because she wanted money, but because she wanted to solidify a visitation schedule. She knew how excited his parents were for their grandchild and even though her own parents weren’t talking to her yet, she knew they’d come around. She almost missed out on the opportunity of knowing Ross and his family at all, and she wanted both sets of grandparents to know their grandchild.
It was a bit of a surprise to find that Ross was indeed real. That it wasn’t just some crazy hallucination that he’d hollered out how sorry he was to the entire neighborhood. She wished she could pinch him to make sure he was real, but she was pretty sure that wasn’t how that worked, and while Ross might be rich, he wasn’t into inventing clones or holograms of himself to deliver a message.
“I’m-”
“Sorry. I know.” Teela crossed her arms. Ross leaned a little harder against the front door, like he needed it there to hold him up. “I get it. But how can we do this, any kind of relationship, if you keep waiting for me to screw up? I feel like I’ll be walking on eggshells or something. Like every time I need anything, you’ll think I’m just trying to scam money out of you.”
“No, I won’t-”
“Seriously? Because this is the second time in like under a month we’re having this conversation.”
“I won’t bring it up again.”
“But you might think it and that’s just as bad.”
“No- Teela, I-”
“I think it’s a good thing, what you said, about maybe going to get some counselling or something. I’ve never thought about it for myself, but maybe I should as well. I’ll admit that I have some hang ups from the way people treated me in the past. Or the way I let them treat me. It hurts, Ross, to find out you’re not enough for someone or they thought being with you was a mistake, or they found someone else, someone better, or maybe there is no reason and things just don’t work out, but it still makes you feel like you’re seriously lacking in some department and pretty soon you start believing it. At least I did.”
“Teela…”
“No. Wait. I want to finish. All of that- that’s the reason I wanted to have a baby by myself. Nothing else. I didn’t know it was your sample. I didn’t even know who you were. I couldn’t afford to do the process, so Amy- uh- sped things along. She might have known at the time, but I didn’t. I had no idea that she was trying to look out for me in the only way she really could. It was misguided, but I love her and she loves me. We’re like sisters, so I can’t really stay mad at her. What she said though, was not what I thought or did or what I think now or would ever do. If we’re going to have a shot at that, I need you to know it. I need you to not doubt it.”
“I don’t doubt it,” Ross said slowly. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I have some baggage. We all do. You wanted to have a baby alone because men treated you like garbage. I’d like to find every single one of those bastards and kick their ass, but I’m not sure that’s going to make anything better. I have issues with how women treated me. They didn’t see me. Ever. I was just this thing to be used and chewed up and spat out when they got what they wanted. I fell for it a few times, and you’re right, it does hurt. More than anything.”
“Well…” Maybe she was promising too much. Maybe she was hoping too much, but she’d missed Ross. Teela never had believed in that soul mates crap, well, not after being dumped a few times, at any rate, then she met Ross. She wanted to believe in crap with Ross. She wanted to be mushy and quick to forgive and able to trust. She wanted him to be able to do the same for her. “Maybe we can promise that we won’t fuck each other over and mean it. Maybe we can somehow find enough trust to start over. If we work on things, who knows. Maybe we won’t end up hating each other.”
“I don’t think I could ever hate you. You’re a good person. One of the best I’ve ever met. Our baby will have a good mom. The best mom.”
“Now you’re just trying to flatter me again.”
“I was happy with you, Teela,” Ross admitted in that dark, husky tone of his. “Probably happier than I’ve been in a long time. Maybe ever.”
It really wasn’t fair, how ridiculously easy it was when it came to him. She should have been mad. She should have wanted to yell and curse at him and say mean things and hold out and be stubborn and make him work for it. Except she could see by the dark smudges under his eyes that he hadn’t slept properly in a few days. He looked tired. Tired straight down to the soul. It was the same way she felt. She didn’t like feeling that way and she didn’t want to inflict it on Ross either.
“Ever?” she whispered. “That’s a pretty big statement.”
“I mean it.” Ross eased away from the door. He stepped towards her, covering ground pretty fast, but right at the last minute, he stopped, giving her the space she needed. “You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met. I’ve never felt this way before, and it turns me into a complete brainless idiot who makes bad decisions and gets hurt too quickly and- and it kind of sucks. I mean, feeling that way. It’s amazing, but it’s als
o… just-”
“Hard?”
“Extremely. I’m scared. I don’t like being scared. No one does.”
“It’s probably harder as a dude because you’re supposed to be all macho and hold it together.”
“I don’t know. It’s probably equally as hard for you.”
“Maybe it’s worth it though. I actually never truly thought that before. Even when I was with people, trying to make it work, I just thought, half the time, that it was pointless. I don’t feel that way with you.”
“Give it time,” Ross deadpanned.
Teela fought a smile and lost. “Well, this baby is coming. We’re both going to be parents. We have time to decide whether we want that to be together or apart.”
Ross shook his head and the look on his face stopped Teela’s heart in its tracks. “Not apart. I don’t want to be apart. I want to give this all we’ve got and see if it works, because I think it could. I’m going to go crazy if I don’t have you in my life. I don’t want you to be just a friend or just the mother of my child. I like waking up next to you. I like going to sleep beside you. I like all the stuff that comes in between that even more.”
Teela rolled her eyes. “I bet you do.”
“I seriously filled up my entire SUV with flowers. One bouquet for every single day we’ve been apart. Every single day that I screwed this up.”
“You didn’t,” Teela breathed.
“Oh, I did. Come see. It’s full. I’ll bring them all in here, if you want. There’s enough to fill up the living room, or the bedroom, or maybe the bed. Or the bath. A rose petal bath could be pretty romantic.”
“Have you seen me?” Teela blurted. She knew she was a hot mess. Her kitchen was full of dirty dishes because she hadn’t found the energy to actually clean. Her living room didn’t look much better. She hadn’t showered in a while. She probably looked far worse than the house did.
“I see you,” Ross breathed. He looked at her like he really did. Like he saw straight down to her soul. No one had ever looked at her that way before. “I see you and you’re absolutely beautiful.”
“But I haven’t showered-”
“I can help you with that. Trust me.”
When he held out his arms, Teela wished she could have flipped him off. She wished she could have told him to take a hike or that she could have stayed mad for just a little bit longer, just to hear how much more romantic, mushy stuff he was willing to spout off.
But she didn’t.
Because she couldn’t.
Instead she stepped into the only set of arms that had ever felt right. The only set of arms she wanted wrapped around her for the rest of her life. At least, like Ross said, she was willing to give it a real good shot. Forever might be a long time, but they had to start somewhere. One day at a time. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and months turned into years.
Teela let Ross slip his hand under her chin and tilt her face up. “I promise that even if you get old and wrinkly and by some miracle we make it, which I’m going to try my damn best at, I’m never going to hate you. We’re not going to be one of those couples. I’m always going to drive you crazy. In bed and out.”
Teela giggled. “Then kiss me already and take me to the shower like you promised. Start driving me crazy in bed instead of out of it.”
Ross swept her up in his arms and she let out a squeal of surprise. Her hands flew to the back of his neck so that she could steady herself and hang on.
Fortunately, Ross already knew where the shower was.
And he already knew how to drive her crazy.
In bed. And out.
She could definitely live with both.
The only thing she couldn’t live without, was him.
EPILOGUE
Ross
He’d done a lot of amazing things in his life, but nothing compared to the minute he was finally able to hold his brand-new daughter.
She was pink and wrinkly, tiny and scrunchy, her skin a little bit dry because she was eight days overdue. She was struggling to open her eyes, eyes that were fringed with the sweetest little lashes. He could already tell they were going to be blue, those gorgeous eyes. She had a sweet little nose, perfect lips, ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes.
She was absolutely gorgeous. Utter perfection. Everything everyone always said about their children and a million times more.
“Welcome to the world, Amberina Jade Day,” Ross said softly. “You have four excited grandparents out there about to bust down this door to see you.”
Amberina didn’t make a sound. She shut her eyes and nestled into the warmth of his chest. She had one of those tiny pink hats and the nurse had done an expert job swaddling her. Now that the hard work of being born was done, she was content to drift back off, cocooned and warm and safe.
“They’ll be allowed in soon enough,” Teela said softly. “Let’s just enjoy this moment for a little while longer.”
It was funny that she said that, completely focused on her brand-new daughter, while the doctor was still working on stitching her up. It hadn’t been a long birth, but it was a hard one. Nine hours of labor followed by an hour of pushing. Amberina was a larger baby, eight and a half pounds, and Teela was pretty tiny herself.
Ross got the memo that birth hurt. It hurt real bad. Listening to Teela screaming and being able to do absolutely nothing about it, was one of the worst things he’d ever had to witness. Seeing someone you love in pain is never easy, but as soon as Amberina popped out, the contractions tapered off and everything just stopped, and all that pain was worth it because they were parents.
Teela gave a soft smile and Ross could see how exhausted she was. Her hair was tangled, her hospital gown was soaked in sweat. Her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes were swollen from all those tears that leaked out during the past half a day, but god, she was beautiful. She’d done something he could never do. He had to admit that he was damn thankful he was a guy, though being on the other end of it probably wasn’t any better.
“I’m glad they’re here though,” Teela whispered as the doctor finished up. Nurses buzzed around the room, cleaning up mysterious bags and other things that Ross rather wouldn’t look at. He was pretty rapt just staring down at his daughter, then back at Teela. Back at his daughter. Back at Teela. “Everyone.”
“Your parents have been as excited as mine were these past months.”
“Only because we got our sh- er- crap together and finally moved into one place. Now that we’re settled and not living in sin, well, kind of, my parents can just breathe a sigh of relief. When we said we were building a new house, I think they kind of figured that we were going to be together for the long haul. Maybe it wasn’t the unmarried thing they were worried about. They were just being normal parents, freaked out about their daughter having a baby with a complete stranger.”
The whole lab thing and what Amy did, they’d decided to keep that amongst the three of them. It didn’t matter how Amberina was conceived, it just mattered that she was here.
Ross already loved her madly. He’d loved her from the second he found out about her, if he was honest, but that love had steadily grown over the months and the second he set eyes on her, it was like his heart had burst wide open and even more love flowed back in.
“The best stranger,” Ross deadpanned. “They can let out as many sighs of relief as they want.” He sent Teela one of those pointed, I’m never letting you go, I promised to drive you crazy until we’re old and wrinkly looks.
“She’s worth sighing over,” Teela agreed, starry eyed, at her their daughter.
Their daughter. It was so crazy to even say that. He’d said it before, since the ultrasound revealed they were having a girl, but this- now that she was here, it was just so surreal. “She’s amazing.”
“Incredible.”
“You did a good job.”
“We did a good job.”
“Amy did a good job.”
Ross held Amberina a littl
e tighter. It was crazy to think that neither of them chose this. Each other. It happened all because of Amy. Her choices. She brought them together.
“You know, she’s probably waiting out there too. And half the store. They’ve likely invaded the waiting room.”
“We’ll be moved soon and then the procession can start.” Teela smiled. “I just need to catch my breath before the horde comes in to shower us with love.” She was smiling though, even though she really did look exhausted. There was so much love in her eyes when she looked at her daughter, and then up at him, that his heart did that whole crazy stretch and burst thing again.
“This is just the beginning of all the love. I’m pretty darn excited to spend the rest of our lives like this.”
“When do you think we should tell them?”
“We’ll wait until we’re out of the hospital. If we work my parents up anymore, they’d be in danger of having a heart attack or something.”
“They’ll be so excited.”
“Next to another grandchild, a wedding is the next best thing.”
“Oh my goodness! Our daughter has been out for like half an hour and you’re already planning the next one. How do you know I ever want to go through that again?”
“It’s easier if you take the epidural,” Ross deadpanned.
Teela muttered something under her breath. She lifted her hand out from below the sheet and flipped him the bird. Her left hand. He’d asked her to marry him a month ago, but they’d decided to save the news until after the baby was born. She couldn’t wear her engagement ring with her hands so swollen anyway.
“Some things never change,” Ross whispered down to his daughter. “Your mama is a spitfire. Heaven save us if you have the same spirit.”
“I hope she does.”
“I hope she does too.”
Ross lifted his eyes and found Teela studying him. He held her gaze and they didn’t need a single word for everything that passed between them. It wasn’t always easy. Second chances never were. Relationships never were. But it was perfect. All of it. It was totally worth every single second. He wouldn’t change a thing. They might not have the most conventional story, but they were a family. Teela and Amberina were the best part of his life. They were always going to be the best parts of his life. He’d never seen himself doing the forever thing, but Teela came into his life and turned everything inside out and now- now, forever looked pretty darn good.