‘Yes,’ she said, purely to see what his reaction would be. ‘I would.’
‘Would you?’ His grip on her hair shifted, his fingers easing down to the nape of her neck and pressing lightly. ‘And if I ordered you into my bed, you’d do that too?’
He didn’t mean it, she knew that. He was still angry and that tiger was still snapping. Yet that didn’t stop a shiver from chasing over her skin at the thought of obeying his orders, unzipping her gown and being naked in front of him, of moving over to that bed and slipping between its sheets, waiting for him...
There was a dragging kind of pressure between her thighs, a pulse directly related to the hard, muscular wall of his chest at her back and the slight brush of his fingers on her neck. She knew what they were: her feminine urges. But she would not surrender the way her mother had surrendered. Unlike Nerida Kouros, Calista was loyal.
Which makes this a dangerous game you’re playing.
Perhaps. But she was strong. And a soldier did not give ground.
‘Yes, Your Highness,’ she said levelly. ‘I would do that, too.’
‘You shouldn’t be so honest,’ the prince murmured. ‘An unprincipled man might take advantage of it.’ His fingertips brushed lightly over her nape. ‘A man such as myself, for example.’
His touch felt like sparks scattering all over her skin, lighting tiny fires wherever they landed.
She shivered. No one had laid hands on her like this, not with such gentleness. Every touch she’d had over the years had been in training and it had all been violent and physical. Punches and kicks, the purpose to incapacitate, to kill. But this wasn’t violent in any way. It was light, soft. Teasing. Almost as if he liked it and was doing it for his pleasure. And hers...
She swallowed, trying to resist the sensations. Physical pleasure made you weak and she could not give in. ‘Why would you do that?’
‘Why would I want to order you into my bed?’
‘Yes.’
‘Why would I not?’ His fingers began a gentle, hypnotic stroke up and down the sides of her neck, making those fires blaze. ‘You’re beautiful. And soon I’ll be engaged to a woman I don’t want and who doesn’t want me. A woman who isn’t passionate like you. Who doesn’t burn like the sun the way you do.’
She should pull away. She shouldn’t stand there letting him stroke her, making her feel soft and pliant. Like melted wax. But his voice was warm, with a roughness threading through it, a darkness that captivated her, getting under her defences like a sapper crawling beneath a wall.
Beautiful? She was beautiful?
‘What a pretty daughter I have,’ her mother had said, pulling her daughter in for one of her special hugs as Calista had twirled in front of the mirror in one of Nerida’s pretty party dresses. ‘You’ll break so many hearts when you grow up...’
Except it was her mother who’d ended up being the heartbreaker and the heart she’d ended up breaking had been Calista’s father’s.
And yours.
Yes. That was true. Which was why her heart now wore its own armour. She’d taken a leaf out of her father’s book and had tempered it, hardened it. And it would take more than a prince’s empty, pretty compliments to make it soften.
Yet a small, traitorous tendril of pleasure curled through her anyway, as if there was some part of her that had remained that weak, soft little girl, who’d loved her mother’s praise. Who’d loved her hugs and loved hugging her in return. Who’d believed it when her mother had told her that she loved her.
Be careful. Be very, very careful.
Yes, she had to be on her guard. He was exactly like her mother, pretty and faithless, and she couldn’t allow herself to be fascinated or intrigued by him. Couldn’t allow herself to get distracted by him physically either. That way lead to weakness. Softness. Disloyalty.
Anyway, he was only playing with her because she’d hit him somewhere vulnerable. He didn’t actually want her.
‘So you’d be faithful to your wife even when you don’t want her?’ It was a rude and impertinent question to ask anyone, let alone a prince, but she wouldn’t allow him to put her on the defensive. Strike first, strike hard, that was her father’s attitude.
‘Ah, what a question.’ He sounded amused, but a faint bitterness tinged the words. ‘I suppose I shouldn’t expect you to think differently, though. My reputation hasn’t exactly been stellar.’ His thumb glided over a knot in her shoulder and pressed down, easing a tension she’d had no idea was there. ‘But yes, to answer your question, I would be faithful. It may not look like it, but I take my duties very seriously.’ The ghost of a wicked smile turned his mouth. ‘My brother would have my hide if I didn’t.’
She really needed to pull away from that touch, put some space between them. Yet she didn’t, staring at him instead, caught by the edge of sincerity in his voice.
Did he really take his duties seriously? It was true, his conduct since he’d returned to Axios had been impeccable. But could a leopard really change his spots just like that? People said all kinds of things and didn’t mean them, so why should she believe him?
Of course he can’t change. If he could, he wouldn’t be touching you.
But was that because he was still angry with her and her questions, or was it because he wanted a woman and she was the closest one?
Why do you care?
She didn’t know. Perhaps she was only searching for evidence that he was a leader worth following. A commander she could trust. That her loyalty to the crown hadn’t been misplaced.
‘You always do what your brother says?’ she asked, testing him.
There was the slightest of pauses, his thumb finding and pressing on another knot in her shoulder, and she had to grit her teeth against the insidious wave of pleasure that went through her as the tension was released.
‘Yes.’ There was no amusement now in his voice, no lazy drawl. ‘He’s my king.’ His face was devoid of those empty smiles and there was no trace at all of the charm he used like a weapon. Instead something fierce and bright burned in his eyes,
He meant it. He meant every word.
His sincerity shot through her like lightning and she recognised it. Recognised herself. Because she’d felt that same ferocity when she’d first enlisted, that determination to do her country and her father proud. To prove her loyalty and strength. To give her all to Axios, because if there was one thing she knew to be true, it was that her country would never betray her.
She turned around, looking up into his dark gaze.
He didn’t smile, that fierce thing burning so brightly she couldn’t look away.
‘Is that why you came back?’ she demanded. ‘Because he asked you to? Why do you pretend not to care about anything? What happened to you—’
‘No.’ His voice was quiet, but very firm. ‘No more questions now.’
‘But—’
He laid one long finger across her mouth. ‘No more.’ The light touch was another shock, echoing through her entire body. ‘I meant what I said, Calista Kouros. I’m an unprincipled man. I obey my king, but I don’t take orders from anyone else. And I get what I want when I want it.’ He took his finger away, but the heat in his eyes remained. ‘Which means that you should leave, because right now, what I want is you.’
The blunt statement hit her like a bolt of electricity, making her mouth go dry and anger collect inside her at her own traitorous body.
‘No, you don’t,’ she said, just as blunt, trying to distance him. ‘You’re angry at being questioned and you want to punish me.’
Something rippled over his face but it was gone before she could tell what it was. ‘How astute of you. But also incorrect.’
‘You could have any woman you wanted,’ she insisted. ‘You don’t want me.’
‘Is that right?’ His eyes glinted. ‘Perhaps you’d better leave befor
e I decide to prove you wrong.’
Her heart beat like a drum, a fluttery kind of feeling gathering deep down inside her. A feeling she didn’t want. Why was she continuing this conversation? Because surely it didn’t matter to her why he wanted her? She didn’t want him to want her at all.
Liar.
No, she wasn’t lying. His attention meant nothing. And his touch didn’t make her doubt herself or put at risk the years of iron discipline she’d put herself under.
Despite the crown, he was just a man and men were all the same. If you didn’t present yourself as a target, then you couldn’t become one.
‘I don’t understand. Why me?’ Perhaps if she knew what it was about her that had caught his interest then she could guard against it the next time.
‘I told you why.’ He took a step back from her and inclined his head towards the door. ‘Out.’
It was a command and one she should obey, yet Calista didn’t move. She needed to know the answer so she could shore up her vulnerabilities, defend herself.
‘No,’ she said flatly. ‘Answer me.’
The beautiful lines on his face hardened, the light gleaming on his black hair and his tawny skin. He suddenly looked every inch the powerful prince, a commander of armies.
And you just commanded him.
Her gut lurched. She’d forgotten herself and her position. She’d let him get to her, with his male beauty and the glimpses he’d given her of another man. The man behind the prince. A sincere man who, far from not caring about anything, clearly loved his brother.
And she’d been addressing the man, not the prince. Not her superior officer.
That had been a mistake.
See what happens when you forget yourself?
If she had any sense, she should apologise and do as she was told—leave the room.
‘Excuse me?’ The prince’s voice was cold. ‘Surely I didn’t just hear you issue me with a demand?’
She knew she should turn around and walk away. But her feet wouldn’t move. There was something inside her, a weakness, a flaw. Some part of her that wanted more of his attention, his light, gentle touch. That was hungry for softness and pleasure, and to feel beautiful. To feel cared for.
She knew she couldn’t give in to it. Yet she couldn’t stop herself.
Calista drew herself up, her heart hammering. ‘It wasn’t a demand. It was a question.’
‘It did not sound like one.’
It was useless to fight this. She couldn’t do it. And besides, it was just a question. She didn’t have to let the answer mean anything.
‘I only wanted to know why it was...me you wanted.’
His stare focused on her like a beam of concentrated sunlight, burning hot. ‘Why do you want to know that?’
She couldn’t tell him. Couldn’t reveal her own weakness, her flaw, the terrible need inside her that she’d thought she’d overcome but clearly hadn’t.
So maybe you just need to give in to it.
The thought was searing, like a brand pressed against her skin, freezing her in place, making her conscious of that nagging pulse between her thighs and how sensitised her skin was. Of the space that separated them. Of him and the work of art that was his body, all hard, chiselled muscle and male power. Scars marred his skin. She hadn’t noticed them before, but she could see them now. Long slashes on his chest that must have come from a knife and the tell-tale round circles of bullet wounds on his taut stomach. There were other scars, too, from weapons or injuries she didn’t know, but they all told a story. He wasn’t some pampered prince, kept safe and in luxury. His body was that of a warrior and he had the warrior’s scars to prove it.
Desire gripped her hard. Did it really matter why he wanted her? Perhaps it only mattered that he did. That right here, right now, she wanted him, too. And after all, she’d denied herself so many things in order to get where she was right now. Had sacrificed many pleasures in favour of hard discipline. Hadn’t allowed herself anything that would compromise her dedication or make her weak—touch, closeness, warmth, the pleasure of feeling different, of feeling special.
In the army you weren’t special. You weren’t different. In the army you were the same as everyone else, a cog in the machine, and she liked that. She hadn’t wanted to be different or special, because by being a woman she already stood out.
You want to be a woman tonight, though.
She took a breath, a tremble shaking her. Yes, maybe she did. And maybe if she was, maybe if she took what she wanted tonight, this terrible need inside would go away.
‘Why do I want to know?’ Her voice sounded strange even to her own ears. ‘Because I’m just a guard and you’re a prince. What could a prince possibly see in me?’
He stood very still, the gold flecks in his eyes glittering like stars in the darkness of the night. ‘I meant what I said. You burn like the sun, Calista. And right now, I’m not looking at you as a prince, because I don’t see a guard. I’m a man and I see a woman.’
She didn’t need to see his expression to know he was deadly serious. It was obvious in every word he said.
You’ve always wanted to be someone’s sunshine.
Everything fell away in that moment. The army, her country, her position, her iron discipline.
For one shining second, he was a man and she wasn’t a soldier. She was a woman. The woman she’d never let herself be.
Her pulse thundered in her head, her hands curled into fists at her sides. ‘And so? Is that all?’
‘What more do you want?’ He took a half-step towards her. ‘Do you want me to take you? Is that what you’re trying to say? Because if so, you’d better be very, very clear.’
This could be her chance. A moment to relax the discipline of years and allow herself to have something more. Something that wasn’t about hiding herself or proving herself. That was about pleasure and release. About feeling good, feeling wanted, because he did want her. Out of all the women he could have, it was her he’d chosen.
So why not take what he had to offer? Why not step beyond the boundaries she’d set for herself? Throw off the armour she’d encased herself in? Unlock the cage?
Just for a night. Just for a night she could be free.
‘Yes,’ she said hoarsely. ‘That’s exactly what I’m trying to say.’
He’d gone very still, the gold in his gaze molten. ‘I hope you understand what you’re asking for, Calista. Because I have nothing to offer you but one night. I will be marrying Princess Eleni and I will not be changing my mind.’
But that was perfect. One night to indulge these feelings, to explore them, satisfy them. One night to be a woman. And then she could return to being a soldier with no regrets and no looking back. Yes, she didn’t want or need anything more.
‘One night is all I want.’
‘And afterwards, I can never acknowledge you. It will be like it didn’t happen.’ His voice was rough, hard. ‘My loyalty first and foremost is to my brother and I need to maintain the reputation I’ve built here for his sake. Word that I have spent a night with you cannot get out.’
‘I don’t want it to get out.’ She stared fiercely at him. ‘This can’t jeopardise my promotion to the king’s guard or my standing within the palace guard. This would derail my entire career.’
‘It won’t. I give you my word.’ And he meant that, too, it was clear.
Somewhere inside, she was trembling with a strange combination of excitement and fear, which was puzzling. The thought of pain and death was a soldier’s constant companion and she’d made her peace with both of those things. But pleasure? Baring her body to someone else? That was a different story. She’d been in her armour a long time. What would it be like to take it off?
Freedom...
A shudder worked its way through her as he stared at her, and she could feel tension building
in the space between them, an electric energy that snapped and crackled over her skin.
‘Be sure, Calista,’ he said softly. ‘Sometimes getting what you want isn’t at all how you’d expect.’
But it was too late for second thoughts. Now he was within reach and those barely acknowledged desires were close to becoming reality, she wanted them. She wanted them badly. She’d be free in his arms, she knew it deep in her soul. Free in a way she hadn’t been for years, if ever. Free of her armour, free of her discipline. Free of having to be so controlled and so locked down all the time.
Free of the soldier.
Yes, that too. How could she walk away from that?
‘I’m sure,’ she said, her voice sounding breathless.
He studied her face a moment longer, then abruptly turned, striding to the door of his bedroom, shutting it and locking it before turning back.
‘No titles tonight, Calista,’ he said in that dark, rich, silken voice, beginning to prowl towards her. ‘No Yes, Your Highness and No, Your Highness. No Sorry, Your Highness.’ He moved like the lion marked on his back, fluid and predatory, lean and hungry, ready to hunt. ‘My name is Xerxes.’
Too quickly he was right in front of her, surrounding her with his heat, his scent, overwhelming her with the force of his presence. ‘Say it.’
Instinctively she obeyed, stumbling slightly over the word. ‘X-Xerxes.’
The expression on his face blazed. ‘Again.’
‘Xerxes.’ This time there was no stumble and the prince fell away. Leaving the man standing in front of her. Passionate and fierce and wild.
Her heart crowded in her throat, the intense rush of adrenaline making it hard to breathe. She wanted to touch him, half lifting her hands to reach for him, but by then he’d buried his fingers in her hair and covered her mouth with his.
She’d never been kissed before. Never had a man touch her like this. And she’d never thought she’d want either of those things. But she was wrong. Very, very wrong.
She ached. She burned. It was as if all the emotion she kept locked away had been transformed into a fierce hunger she couldn’t contain.
Promoted To His Princess (Mills & Boon Modern) (The Royal House of Axios, Book 1) Page 5