by Ana Ashley
"Tiago, my man, what's up?"
"Oli, I'm having the day from hell and I need some strings pulled if you can help."
"Any time, man, you know I've got your back. Tell me what's going on."
I explained what was happening and the risk to the building and neighboring buildings if there was a leak. Delays with the inspection could put not only me and the kids at risk but also the businesses and residences right next to us. In recent years there had been far too many buildings collapsing in the center of Lisbon for me to afford to take this lightly.
Oli, as always, was fully supportive and promised to do what he could to help, and I had no doubt that help would come. Just like he was the string I could pull, he also had his own strings in the form of his dad, the former president of the city council and one of the most respected retired politicians in the city.
By the time I pulled up at the apartment, my head was banging and I wasn't even sure I could be bothered preparing a sandwich to eat.
Unfortunately, my tummy rumbled as soon as I got out of the elevator and smelled whatever the neighbor was cooking, so I knew I definitely couldn't get away with going to bed on an empty stomach.
The smell was somehow stronger when I opened the door to the apartment, and I realized that in all the stress of the afternoon, I'd forgotten I now had a roommate. One that seemed to be an excellent cook.
Perfect, just what I needed. Food envy for the next two months.
9
Vítor
I heard the key in the door and moments later Tiago stood by the archway entrance of the kitchen.
"Hey, I hope you like risotto because I'm sure there's enough here for us and the neighbors."
Tiago's face lit up like it was Christmas morning. He also looked exhausted.
"Hey, are you okay?"
"Yes, just tired. You made enough food for me?" he said, coming closer and looking at the pot.
"Of course. It would be silly to go to all this trouble just for me." I'd been doing it for the last three years and hated it every single time. "Not to mention you left enough coffee for me this morning and that made my day."
He snorted. "That's as much as I can do in the kitchen without needing to call the fire service."
"I'll happily wake up to a fresh cup of coffee every day, even if I do have to make my own toast." I winked.
Tiago chuckled. He was so close to me the hairs on my arms were standing up. I could smell the remnants of his aftershave together with his natural scent. I looked at his lips and my mind went straight back to the night at the bar and the way his body had molded to mine, how pliable he'd been in my arms.
"I should take a shower before dinner," he said, stepping back, his voice deeper than earlier.
I turned my attention to the food, not daring to look into his eyes in case I saw something I didn't want to see, or even worse, something I did want to see.
"Yes, of course, there's enough time until dinner is ready."
He walked out of the kitchen but came back seconds later with a small box.
"I have dessert," he said, placing the box on the table before leaving again.
It was only when I heard the shower going in his en suite that I took a deep breath and gave myself a pep talk. I'd never been attracted to younger men before. Why was I struggling so much with this particular young man? For goodness sakes, I was pretty sure I could be his dad.
I stirred the risotto and then got working on setting the table.
When Tiago came back into the kitchen, he was wearing some old jogging bottoms and a University of Lisbon T-shirt and looked a lot more relaxed. His hair was still wet from the shower, and it appeared as if he'd only run his hands through it.
He took two beers from the fridge and joined me as I served our dinner.
"Oh my god, this is really good," he said with a mouthful of risotto. "Sorry, I'm behaving like a pig, but man, where did you learn how to cook like this?"
"I always enjoyed cooking, so I guess it's the many years of practice from doing it at home for us and when friends come over for our usual Sunday lunch. It wasn't always this good, though. One time we'd gone out to a party on a Saturday night and we overslept. Dri had the worst hangover and couldn't even help me with the preparation. Since our friends had all been drunk the night before, they weren't very discerning with the food, so no one realized I hadn't cooked something properly until two of the guys were sick."
Tiago was staring at me with a big smile.
"What?"
"You got so animated talking about your friends. Was Dri your husband?"
I stared back at him.
"Your face lit up when you said his name," he said as if he could tell what I was thinking.
"Yeah, he was. His name was Rodrigo."
"Well, I'm glad you practiced your cooking skills on them. I expect only top-quality food in this establishment."
I couldn't be more relieved that he'd lightened the mood with a joke instead of asking me questions about Dri. As it was, my mind and my body were already confused whenever in Tiago's presence.
"You got it," I said. "Just make sure there's always coffee in the morning for me."
"It's the least I could do."
His smile did nothing to stop a few butterflies from making themselves known in my stomach and my cock to stir in my jeans. I was so glad I'd changed from my suit trousers when I'd got home because those were unforgiving at keeping my indiscreet thoughts discreet.
"And I know people." He pushed the small white box toward me.
I opened it to find two delicious-looking custard tarts.
"Man, you know the right kind of people. I knew it was a good idea to let you stay."
I reached out for one of the pastries and gave Tiago the other one. I moaned at my first bite into the smooth custard and flaky pastry. I couldn't remember when I'd last had a custard tart that was this good.
"You're supposed to eat it, not make love to it," he said as he took his first bite and let out his own moan.
I looked at him with a raised brow, and we both started laughing.
We cleaned the kitchen together, going around each other like we'd been doing it for years. A pang of sadness and longing for Dri came over me, but this time it didn't hit me as hard as before. I remembered the time Dri decided to cook a surprise meal for my birthday, and when I got home, the kitchen looked like it had been hit by a tornado. He'd been so pleased with his effort; I could have lived with a messy kitchen for the rest of my life just to see that smile every day.
"What are you smiling about?" Tiago asked.
"Nothing, just a nice memory of Dri."
"Hold on to those, Vítor. They're the most precious treasure you'll ever have."
He looked at me with such earnest eyes, I just knew he was also living with his own loss. I wanted to ask him about it but decided to go with a safer topic.
"So, are you going to tell me more about your center and how I can volunteer?"
I didn't think it was possible to see an even bigger smile on his face. I was wrong.
We settled into a comfortable routine for the rest of the week. Tiago would always leave freshly brewed coffee for me in the morning before he left, and I cooked dinner for us. Two days this week he even left a sandwich I took to work for lunch. Our conversations over dinner were easy, like we'd known each other for years rather than days. We kept to safe topics like how much we both disliked football, how much we both liked custard tarts, and the differences between living in Lisbon and Porto.
Our conversations never went into personal territory. Tiago was like a locked diary, and I hadn't yet discovered where he kept the key.
This normally wouldn't bother me, but Tiago had come home looking more exhausted with each day that passed. Yesterday he'd fallen asleep on the sofa a few minutes into the movie we were watching after dinner. He'd leaned into me and I'd shifted my position to make him more comfortable. It had been both a delight and torture to have him so close
to me, especially when he'd moved in his sleep and ended up with his head on my chest and his arm around my waist.
I wanted to know what was causing his tiredness. Was he having problems at the center, or was it something else? The longer I spent with him the more I could see the pain he carried, even with his eyes hiding behind the dark-rimmed glasses he wore all the time.
I'd allowed us to stay in the same position for a while, but when there was no sign that Tiago was going to wake up, I'd lifted him off the sofa and carried him into his bedroom. As I'd pulled the bed covers on top of him, he'd called out a name I couldn't understand under his breath and that he was sorry.
He'd calmed down after I'd whispered a few words to him and had tried to erase the creases in his forehead with my thumb.
"Can I borrow the key, Tiago? I promise to look after it. Let me take the pain away, my dear."
Like all the mornings since I'd moved in, Tiago was gone by the time I got up, and like all the mornings before, there had been fresh coffee waiting for me.
How long would he carry on like this before he burned out? Part of me wanted to fix whatever it was that was making him so tired and sad, and then there was part of me that reminded me he wasn't my responsibility. I was only someone he shared an apartment with, and even that was temporary, so why did I feel so strongly about the wellbeing of this young man?
I was surprised to see him home earlier than normal, and despite the bags under his eyes, he looked happy.
"Hey," he said.
"Hey, you're home early. I haven't even got dinner started."
"I was hoping to return the favor tonight."
"I thought you couldn't cook for shit."
"I can't, but there's a great restaurant a block away, and I assure you the chef can most definitely cook."
"Great, let me grab my sweater and we can go."
It was nice being able to walk to the restaurant. In Porto, I'd walked to most places and only driven when it was necessary. With the slight spring chill in the air, it was a perfect evening for a stroll.
The restaurant was on the riverside, so we followed the pedestrian path between the buildings toward the river. I hadn't had a chance to explore the surroundings yet and look at the architecture of this newly developed part of the city.
"This area has changed so much. I still remember when it was an old shipyard, and look at it now, full of homes and green areas. The Expo '98 was the best thing that happened to Lisbon."
"I agree. I remember seeing it on TV. The first time I visited this area was just after I moved to Lisbon."
"You're not from here?"
"No."
The question flew out of my mouth before I had a chance to censor myself, but now I had no doubt that whatever put all the sadness in Tiago's eyes had to do with his family, and fuck if I couldn't relate to that.
He stayed silent as we walked by the river, and it wasn't until we arrived at the restaurant that some light returned to his eyes.
"You're going to love this place."
"I know."
He looked at me, surprise written all over his face.
"I'm here for the company," I said.
A small blush appeared under the collar of his shirt. I wanted nothing more than to kiss that neck and see how far down the shade of pink went.
It was becoming harder and harder to deny my attraction to Tiago, and it would only be a matter of time until I did something about it.
The Vasco Da Gama Bridge in my line of sight reminded me of the wise words Sebastião left me with. There was nothing stopping me from visiting the old side of the bridge while I figured out why I was so attracted to the new side.
Tiago's voice interrupted my thoughts.
"Vítor?"
"Yes?"
"When was the last time you went to the zoo?"
10
Tiago
As I crossed the bridge over the river Tagus on the way to pick up Filipe for our day out at the zoo, the only thing on my mind was what I'd been thinking when I'd asked Vítor about the zoo yesterday over dinner.
"God, I think my last time there was on a school trip. Amélia Sousa pulled me into the spider house and tried to kiss me," he'd replied.
"What happened?"
"I threw up on her."
"I take it you weren't into girls even then."
"Girls were fine. It was the spiders I didn't like."
I couldn't help my laughter. "So, you're saying Amélia would have been lucky if she'd taken you to the butterfly house instead?"
"She never had a chance to find out." He'd winked.
"I promise I won't make you go into the spider house."
"How about the butterfly house?"
"What?" I'd choked. He'd had his elbows on the table and his chin resting on his hands, and all I could think was how much I'd wanted to lick that fucking dimple.
"Will you take me into the butterfly house?"
"Oh, er, yes… if you want." And that had been when I'd tripped over myself explaining it was a day out with Filipe, but yes, if he wanted, we could go into all the houses, including the reptiles. Vítor simply smiled and said he would love to join us on our adventure to the zoo.
Before I rang the bell for Bruno's apartment, I saw Filipe running down the stairs with his little backpack on and his Superman doll in his hand. He struggled to open the front door to the building, but Bruno was right behind him to help.
"Uncle Tiago, I'm ready to go."
"He's been up since six," Bruno said. "Wouldn't even sit down long enough to eat his cereal."
"Come on," Filipe said, taking my hand and dragging me toward the car.
I laughed and followed him. Bruno was working this morning, but he was going to join us at the zoo after lunch.
Vítor was waiting for us by the entrance to the zoo. His smile as we approached did funny things to my tummy.
Filipe had been chatting non-stop in the car about all the animals he wanted to meet, but when he saw Vítor, he went a little shy and tightened his grip on my hand. Despite what had happened to him, he was comfortable around adults once he got to know them, which was demonstrated by the number of uncles and aunts he'd adopted.
Vítor noticed and crouched down to Filipe's level and stretched out his hand.
"Hi, you must be Filipe. I'm Vítor, and I'm Tiago's friend."
Filipe looked up to me for confirmation, so when I smiled and nodded, he smiled back and held out his little hand to shake Vítor's.
"Hello, I'm going to see the animals today. Are you coming with us?" he asked.
"If you don't mind me joining you, I would love to see the animals, too."
"Okay. This is Superman. He's coming, too."
I chuckled when Filipe pushed the doll into Vítor's face, causing him to pull back at the risk of being punched by Superman's extended arm. Vítor's expression changed for a moment when he looked at the doll, but he recovered too quickly for the little boy to notice.
"What's your favorite animal?" Filipe asked.
Vítor pretended to think for a long time and then said, "The lion."
"Is it because they roar really, really loud?"
I heard Vítor mutter under his breath, "It's because they sleep all day," but then he said to Filipe, "because they live in a big family."
Vítor's joke made me laugh, but the last statement cut through to my heart.
"I have a big family, too," Filipe said, holding on to Vítor's hand on his other side and leading us toward the entrance gate. "I don't have a mummy and daddy. Well, I have Aunt Tee and Uncle Rio. They're like my mummy and daddy because they look after Bruno, too. Bruno is my big brother, and I have Uncle David and Uncle Joel, and Uncle Max and Uncle Isaac." Filipe carried on naming all the adults in his life, including all the extended family that had adopted him and Bruno into their lives.
He was so excited we had to look for the lion enclosure first, which of course was at the other end of the zoo. Not that Filipe minded because he
didn't stop chatting to Vítor for a single moment. I couldn't even remember when I last heard Vítor speak. He was simply smiling and nodding at everything Filipe was saying.
I wondered if Vítor had any children. Many times, I'd caught my friends totally engaged in Filipe's conversations and could see the longing in their eyes to have children of their own. The way Vítor was looking at Filipe was different; it was the look of a parent who wanted to protect their child from the bad stuff around them.
Vítor would have questions about Filipe. Everyone always did once they got to know him. How did a little boy that had gone through so much in his short life have so much happiness, love, and trust within him?
Part of me wondered if the reason we hadn't veered into personal territory during our many conversations was because we were both afraid to get too involved. I could tell we were already both struggling with our attraction to each other, because too often we'd caught ourselves flirting as we'd worked around each other in the apartment. Our text message conversations when we were both at work had been my lifeline all week when I was dealing with the leak the plumber finally found in the kitchen.
"Uncle Tiago, why are they sleeping?"
"What? Oh, the lions." I'd been so lost in my own thoughts that I'd forgotten to listen. "That's because lions sleep sometimes twenty hours in the day."
"They sleep all day?" His wide-open eyes and mouth made me laugh.
"Did you know lions like to play at night and that's why they sleep during the day?"
"Wow."
He pressed his hands and face to the glass separating us from the animals. Filipe was so enraptured by the lions, Vítor and I decided to sit on a nearby bench and wait for our sign to move on to other animals.
"He's a very special young boy, isn't he?" Vítor said, resting his arm behind me on the back of the bench.