“I promised my men in the squad I would give you a red rose on our wedding night. The white ribbon represents you. The camouflage strip is made up of small pieces of each of the men’s uniform sown together to stream down from the bow. The chevron is the emblem of our squad. It means you are now an honorary member of the squad. The guys wanted to do something for our wedding for two reasons, first because they got hundreds of hours of fun telling and embellishing the story of the day we meet at the airport and secondly, because they wanted to thank you for all the care packages you sent to me, and asked me to share them with the squad. You have no idea what that meant to me and to them, because they were from you, but also, I was so proud of you for sending something for them. You know honey when you come back from a mission and you are tired because you sleep very little, your nerves are on edge, especially if it was a little hairy and you had to take big risks with everybody’s lives. You’re dirty and smell bad because there are no showers in the field. The first thing you do is go to where the mail comes in to see if you have a letter or package waiting for you, hoping somebody still cares and misses you. The guys would come with me and wait to see if “We,” got a package. For some of them it was the only mail or package they got. They would ask me to read your note to them telling them to enjoy the food you sent. Nobody cared if the cookies, brownies, or whatever you sent, got stale and hard from waiting for us to come back. We just went to the mess hall and got a couple of gallons of milk and dunked and ate until they were gone. There was never a crumb left. Email is great, but when your girl sends a package or letter and maybe puts a little cologne on it or there’s a kiss at the end. A guy could touch the paper and know his loved one touched it and he can smell her scent and imagine she is there with him. The squad all wanted to come to our wedding, but of course that was impossible.”
Amelia had tears in her eyes, “I am so honored,” she said. He picked her up and gently put her on the bed and lay beside her. He kissed her and she put her arms around him.
He held his head up with one hand and said, “I want to look at you for a moment and burn your image into my mind. I’m so very ecstatic you consented to be my wife, Mrs. Chad Brown.”
She smiled, “you have made me so happy, babe, I’m so proud you are my husband now, here’s my secret, I wished we could make love ever since that day I cried because I couldn’t go to college and you comforted me.”
“Babe I’m going to try and be very tender tonight, I want you to be very ready for making love for the first time, I don’t know how you feel, I have such respect for you, and it is a huge honor for me that you will be making love to me as your husband for the first time.”
She kissed him, “I’m so glad I waited, and I found you, you know how much I love to kiss you and we have been pretty excited before, both of us.” He began kissing her shoulders and breasts and she moved her hands on his chest and stroking his back. He slipped the top of her nightgown down and licked her nipples. She shuttered under his touch and he gently nipped and licked at her torso and stomach. “Baby,” he whispered, “I love to see you naked,” as he slipped off her gown. She was lovely in the candlelight. He wore only shorts. He gave her baby kisses, and stroked her, and then kissed her deeply and she made little groaning sounds. He began kissing her neck, breasts, and abdomen and ever so slowly began taking her panties off inch by inch. Amelia’s hips began to sway slowly almost involuntarily. Chad said, “My love, I want you so much,” as he slipped her panties off. “My body is on fire.”
“Chad, honey, Babe, she half whispered half moaned, sounding beseeching and pleading, I want you, I feel so ready for you.”
“I’m so happy,” Chad replied.
“Later Chad said, “Honey, that was so mind blowing for me, he held her in his arms and looked at her, it was more than I ever dreamed it would be, did it hurt you, honey?”
“It hurt a teeny tiny bit, for a second, then I felt you inside me and it was such a breathtaking feeling, and an emotional moment, when I realized that we were truly one.”
“Let’s have a glass of wine and relax for a while,” he said, “you can’t get away now our marriage is consummated, and you’re stuck with me,” he said, smiling.
“I’m not going anywhere,” she said, “I like being your wife too much.”
“I wish I never had to go away from you. We are going to have to make a decision soon honey about what I’m going to do.”
“What do you mean, Babe?”
“I have been in the army six years now. I have paid back my college commitment and now we need to decide if I should extend and stay in the military or if we should look for a place, where we can both find good jobs and settle down. Or if you decide you just want to have babies and stay home that’s Ok. “Do you want to have babies with me?”
“Yes, Chad, I want us to have a family.”
“That’s good I want that too.” The military life is very hard on wives, the men get deployed, and the wives are left to do everything, including raising the family. We will have to think about all that and decide together what we want to do.”
“Honey you know I can do a lot. I ran the farm when my mother left, and daddy got killed.”
“It’s not that at all Amelia, I know how hard you have worked all your life and how smart you are, I know you can do it all. It’s what kind of a life do we want together. As much as I love what I’m doing and the squad I work with, I don’t want to be away from you for long periods. When we have babies, I will want to be with my family, I don’t want you to shoulder the entire burden. It’s not yours or mine it’s ours together. Maybe it’s good that I served my country early in life.”
“For now,” said Amelia, “we can think about it, you have another eight months before we have to decide. If Betty takes us up on our offer to adopt Gina, it will make a difference.”
“They had some wine and talked and dozed. Sometime in the early morning, she awoke and kissed him. He opened his eyes and she said, “I love waking up with you in bed next to me and he began kissing her, she put her tongue in his ear and then whispered I want to show you what we did in my dreams, is that OK?”
“Baby that’s so erotic.”
“I hope I don’t disappoint you,” she said, “I’m new at this.”
“You never disappoint me. You always amaze me.”
[ Chapter 37 ]
Amelia and Chad had a great time in the Poconos and came back refreshed and happy. Chad treated Amelia so affectionately and it seemed their love grew more every day. Shelly and Betty greeted them with hugs and kisses and as soon as Chad went out on an errand, they turned to her and said laughing, tell us everything.”
“Everything?” Asked Amelia.
“Not all the intimate details just most of it,” they giggled.
“Do you like sex and being married?”
“Yes, in both cases,” said Amelia, “Chad’s a wonderful lover.”
“What was the red rose for,” asked Shelly, “Chad asked us to get it for him, but didn’t say why.” Amelia told them and they were dazzled when she told them what it meant.
“You should feel so proud of that,” said Betty, “that is a huge honor and it must make Chad feel so proud that they wanted to do that.”
“I know,” said Amelia, he told me how proud he was and then showed me too,” she said laughing and blushed a little.
Two weeks passed and Betty called and asked Amelia, if she and Chad could get together that evening to talk, they agreed.
Betty came after dinner and Chad was in the kitchen fixing them some wine coolers.
Betty said to Amelia, “You look as if you have just swallowed sunshine, you are glowing, and you look beautiful and content.”
“Betty, I have never felt so happy and loved in all my life. Chad treats me as if I were some kind of special person, I love him so much.”
Chad came in
with the drinks, then and overheard Amelia. “It’s because you are the most special person in the world to me.”
“Here Betty,” he said, handing her a drink, and giving one to Amelia saying, “for my wife,” he stopped and gave Amelia a peck, “I love saying “my wife,” I like the sound of that. How’s your drink Betty, is it ok?”
“It’s good, thank you, Chad. I came to talk to both of you to ask you what you think of my idea. I know you both are sincere and would take good care of Gina, but I know I want to see her maybe a lot more than you would like. In addition, Chad if you choose to stay in the army and Amelia wants to stay near you, as I know she would, you might have to move to different places that might be a problem for me. I think I’m saying all this to get the courage to talk about the decision I have come to. When I see how you two are together and how you support each other no matter what, I know I was probably lying to myself about being in love with Darrell. The day I heard, you tell us that you were so surprised when Amelia showed you the baby, but it would not have mattered and you would have asked her to marry you anyway. I knew then I didn’t know what love was at all.
“Thanks, Betty,” murmured Chad.
“I should have told Darrell from the start what happened and then just let it all play out. I have been a fool hiding from what life has dished out to me, trying to change it by not acknowledging it. Maybe I haven’t been fair to Darrell either. So, here’s what I’m going to do. I will get both my parents and Darrell together and tell them everything that has happened and tell them about Gina and that I’m going to keep her. If they accept us, then we will begin again. If Darrell still wants to marry me that will be great. No matter what happens with them, or what they think, I have decided to raise Gina myself, as her mother. If they don’t want to be part of our lives, I’ll have to start over and possibly we might have to move in here with you again Amelia, but not till Chad goes back. I’m not that much of a fool.”
“Betty, I think you are making the best decision. We will help you in any way we can, won’t we Chad.”
“Of course, we would help you. Betty, please don’t take this the wrong way. If you tell Darrell all that happened, and he is not moved by how much you have had to endure. How painful it was to do this all by yourself, he’s not worth your time, effort, or love. I don’t say he has to be thrilled with the situation, but he certainly needs to accept the facts and know you had some difficult choices to make. Betty, he should be able to tell you he loves you no matter what, that’s what love is about,” said Chad.
“Chad,” said Betty, “I wish I could meet a man like you and I’m hoping that deep down Darrell is a man like that and is able to accept Gina and me.”
After Betty left, Chad asked, “What do you think Darrell will do, honey?”
“I don’t know Babe, I often thought that Darrell had his head in the clouds, and someone needed to give him a good shake to bring life to his attention. And this should do it,” said Chad, “it’s pretty heavy stuff. As my men would say, “It’s enough to gag a maggot.” They both laughed.
Amelia came over and straddled him as he sat on a chair.
“Hon nne y y, what are you do, doing,” said Chad?
“I’m conducting an experiment,” she said.
“I want to kiss you and feel how long it takes for you to get excited.”
“Melly e e e, that was a very naughty thing to say,” he said laughing.
“She looked at him and rolled her eyes, oh h h h h she said, bubbling up with a giggle, I think I figured it out,” she said, “you don’t have to kiss me.”
“No, silly sometimes all you have to do is whisper in my ear, or look at me in a certain way, or as you see sit on my lap.”
“I want you, I want to make love, right now,” she whispered, I love being naughty and making you want me, it excites me too.”
“You say the sweetest things,” he said.
They had two more happy weeks and as the time for Chad drew near Amelia didn’t want to leave his side. She promised herself she wouldn’t cry when he left, but as soon as he entered the boarding area of the airport two big tears rolled out and down her cheeks. She thought he didn’t see them, but he knew she was crying. He had all he could do to keep from crying himself.
When she came home from the airport, Betty was there with Gina. She looked like she had been crying and Amelia was still crying too.
“This is some happy fizzy party,” said Amelia, “here we are crying like two big babies, when it’s not going to help anything.”
The door opened and it was Shelly, she was alarmed when she saw both of them crying and asked, “What happened?”
Betty said, “Chad went back to the army and I just lost my family and fiancé,” she said, in a spasm of emotion and crying.
“I’ll just join the crowd then because Wilson and I broke up, and I feel like shit too,” Shelly said, “what happened when you told your parents and Darrell all about Gina and everything?”
“They were dumbfounded, mom burst out crying and asked why I didn’t come to her and tell her everything. She said, she could have arranged for me to have an abortion. I think that tells it all about how she feels about the baby. She didn’t even ask if the baby was a boy or a girl. Dad went into a rage, he even knocked over the chair when he got up, he raved and ranted about how much money he dumped into a career for me, and now I go and do something stupid like wanting to raise a baby and not use my college education.”
“What about Darrell, what did he do?” asked Amelia.
He was upset that my parents were angry with me and tried to stand up to them and tell them they needed to understand that none of it was my fault. He said that he understood that if I felt I had to have the baby and not have an abortion; I had the right to choose for myself. Then when my mom asked where the baby was and if I had given the baby up for adoption, and I told her that, I had decided to keep the baby.
Darrell went ballistic, he yelled at me, “Are you crazy, why do you want to ruin your life with a baby.”
I said, “Ruin my life? You just said I should have a choice. Don’t you think we would have ever had kids if we got married?”
“What did he say to that?” They asked, almost at the same time.
“He said, he never thought of that, he was so busy finding “the right job” and trying to please his father and his business partners. I don’t think we would have had time for a family for a very long time. I have to build my career first,” Betty quoted.
“Right then I had enough,” I said, to my parents, “I’m leaving now I’ll see you around sometime.” Then, I said to Darrell, “Darrell have a nice life and a wonderful career, maybe you’ll get lucky and find a sterile wife too.” I got my coat and purse and went to pick up Gina, and here I am.”
“That’s the story, dreadful and sad, but true, so I’ll be like you were, Amelia before you were married, pretty much on my own.”
“You have us,” said Shelly.
“Yeah,” chimed in Amelia, “and Chad too, we make a pretty nice little group. Gina will have two aunts and an uncle that’s a nice little bunch.”
“I don’t know what I would have done if we didn’t have each other,” said Betty, it’s comforting to know there are people that I can rely on who will stick by me even in bad times.” Betty was crying and they all hugged.
“What a sad little group this is. Let’s bath Gina and put her to bed, order a pizza and drink some beer to drown our sorrows,” said Shelly.
“I like that idea,” said Amelia, “I didn’t want to be alone anyway, and I miss Chad so much and he’s only been gone a few hours.”
Gina was sleeping in her cradle and they were at the kitchen table eating pizza when someone began shouting and pounded on the door. All three of them got up and went to the door, wanting the pounding to stop so it wouldn’t wake up Gina.
Am
elia spoke up, in an annoyed voice, “stop pounding whoever you are, you’ll wake up the baby, who’s there?”
“It’s Darrell,” the voice said.
Betty put her finger up to her lips for silence.
“What do you want?” Asked Amelia.
“I want to talk to Betty, I know she’s in there, I know she would come to you and Shelly if she were upset, and I know she’s very upset.”
“I’ll ask her if she wants to talk to you, just a minute.”
“What do you think he wants?” Asked Betty, in a whisper.
“I don’t know,” said Amelia, “but it must be pretty important for him to come here.”
“I guess it wouldn’t hurt to let him in.”
“OK, Darrell, I’m going to open the door, but you can’t be loud because the baby is sleeping and if you wake her up, we’ll kill you.”
“Why don’t you and Betty go in the living room to have some privacy, we’ll go back out in the kitchen,” said Amelia.
Amelia and Shelly finished eating the pizza and had another beer, and still no word from the living room, no loud talking or signs of an argument.
Shelly said, “Amelia I’m going to change my clothes and go to my room, I’m so sleepy and tired, the beer did its work.”
“I’m ready to go to bed too, I’m going to call Chad, if I can’t get him, on the phone, I’ll emailed him good night, and I wish he were here with me.”
Do you think we should peak in the living room and tell Betty we’re going to sleep?”
“OK, you go first.”
“No, you go first.”
“OK, we’ll both go,” said Amelia. They tip toed in and peeked around the corner. They saw a bare bottom moving in an up and down movement on the sofa.
Secrets of Amelia Page 23