Secrets of Amelia

by Andrea Anderson

  “Chad’s on a mission and is not allowed to communicate, I don’t know how I will ever tell him that” …and she burst out crying again.

  It was quite unusual for Philip, but he had come in early and heard Amelia crying. Being jealous of her and sneaky too, he stood outside Buzz’s door and listened. He was shocked at what Amelia was telling Buzz, silently he gloated that Buzz’s super star, as Philip called Amelia in his mind, was falling fast. He went back out the door very quietly and then made a lot of noise as if he were just arriving.

  Amelia almost made it through the day, but at 3:00 she began crying and had to leave early. She went back to the apartment and put Chad’s shirt on and cried most of the evening. She was only able to get toast and tea down the next morning and felt she could go to work. She brought in Chad’s toothbrush. Under the guise of learning a new procedure. Buzz prepared the specimens and as usual for him, prepared two tests on each specimen.

  The test would take some time, and then she would know for sure. Amelia barely went through the motions of work and living she was so upset and depressed. In a way, she was glad she couldn’t communicate with Chad. If they talked on the phone, he would hear the misery in her voice as he always did and know something was wrong. If she emailed him, she would have to write him lies and that would hurt her to do that.

  Secret thoughts: (Thoughts of the possibilities of her future raced in her mind. Maybe if she and Chad didn’t have any children. That would be such a sacrifice for him he wanted a family and she would be depriving him of that. Would she be in trouble with the law? With trembling hands, she googled incest on the computer and began reading.)

  Incest was against the law in Pennsylvania. Incest is a sexual relationship between two partners who are closely related biologically. Incest is a second-degree felony in the state of Pennsylvania. It may carry with it a prison sentence of five years and of fine to up to $5000. In the past, it was difficult to prove, however with the advent of DNA testing that changed. Punishment for incest is not a frequent charge and not seen as a crime in many states for several reasons, large numbers of anonymous sperm donors at fertility clinics, sealed adoption papers, child abandonment and family members separated at birth. Although the chances are statistically low, it is a possibility that people with the same personalities could be attracted and possibly marry. In some countries such as Taiwan, those conceived by artificial insemination are tested to determine that the person they are marrying is not a close relative.

  Incestuous relationships are seen in fiction and mythology. The classic Athenian tragedy, Oedipus, who is told he will kill his father and marry his mother, is a famous example. The story goes on to unveil that the prophecy comes true and causes Oedipus’s wife to kill herself and for him to poke out his eyes with pins.

  Incest has been known since the earliest times. Now it is considered a cultural taboo and is considered illegal in some countries and in some states in the United-States.

  In very ancient times, incest was not frowned upon but embraced, as consanguineous marriages were practiced among royalty for perpetuating royal lineage. The belief among royal families was that marrying within in the family would made the family line stronger and keep their fortunes and titles intact and contained within the family. A common practice in ancient Egypt was the marriage of brothers and sisters or fathers and daughters. One of the most famous figures in history, Cleopatra, was married to her brother and a less known fact is that her father and mother were also brother and sister.

  The increased proportion of abnormalities to those with incestuous relationships slowly began to get noticed. The royal houses of France, Germany, and England continued marrying within the family well into the 18th century. It was only when populations grew and were more economically sound that the practice dropped off in large numbers.

  Secret thoughts: (I thought if I read about incest and understood it intellectually, it would help me emotionally to solve my problem. If anything, it made me more miserable than I already was. I felt as if I have lost the love of my life through no fault of my own and don’t know how I can go on, I love Chad so much. I can’t even think of how I will be able to tell him or walk away from our relationship.)

  She was already beginning to show signs of stress and depression she lost weight and had bags under her eyes. She didn’t care what she wore or how she looked. She ate very little and wanted to sleep all the time, feeling very tired, plus that was the only time, her troubles were not in the forefront of her mind. Waiting for the test to be done was grating on her nerves.

  With jealousy and deceit his constant companions, Philip came up with a plan to put an end to Amelia and her place on the pedestal of Buzz’s mind. If the test showed that Amelia’s husband was really her brother, she would fall to pieces and not be able to work and she would be gone from the lab and out of his hair. That’s was what Philip was counting on. Maybe she would go crazy he thought vindictively. If the test showed incest, he would be back in his place as first string in the lab. Philip stayed late one evening under the pretense of completing a test he started in the afternoon. Buzz did take note that Philip was staying late. Buzz thought that it was odd Philip never stayed late. Buzz wondered what was going on.

  Philip searched for the specimens that Buzz prepared and kept in his office rather than out in the usual place in the lab. Philip found them on top of Buzz’s file cabinet. He would have to alter the specimens and put some of Amelia’s in Chad’s and some of Chad’s in Amelia’s. He knew that Buzz would have to bring out the specimens out to the main lab where the lab microscope was kept. He taunt would Amelia with the results, if she was didn’t already go mad when the test results showed she and Chad were related.

  Buzz began the testing process. Trying to make things as normal as possible Buzz began as usual when demonstrating a new procedure, and went into teaching mode, he began, “DNA testing is now a household word, but it has taken many years of scientific research and hard work to prove the theories for DNA testing to become a reality. Beginning in 1866 with Mendel’s paper on inheritance, dominance, and recessiveness the start of the history of genetics began. It took almost 34 years for the next scientist to pick up the interest in genes and how human traits are passed on to other human beings. The term genetics was not coined until 1905 by William Bateson. As time went by and research progressed, more was discovered about “genes” and some controversy came into play. Subjects such as genetic modification of crops, cloning, and stem cell research became contentious. In 1996, the first sheep was cloned, and “Dolly” was a shock to the world. Now DNA testing kits are available for home use and the test which once took almost 6-8 weeks to complete, may be done in 3-5 days.

  “So now that we have prepared the test we will have to wait and see how all this turns out,” said Buzz. “Try and relax Amelia, you can’t help anything by being upset and being here at work may take your mind off your trouble for a bit.”

  It was finally time to read the test results and Buzz brought out the specimens to the main lab to study the results. He looked at them carefully, he didn’t make any comments. Buzz went back to his office and called Amelia to come there.

  “I’m sorry Amelia, I must tell you what I found, Buzz told her, the results show that there are many similar traits on the tests, and it was possible that you and Chad might be related.”

  Amelia jumped up and let out a blood curdling scream in horror, rushed to the ladies’ room, and was physically sick. Before there was the slightest chance it may not be true, now she must throw that hope out of her brain, she was numb. Amelia didn’t return for long time. Buzz was almost ready to get one of the other female employees to go in the ladies restroom to get her, when she returned. She was as pale as a ghost and had the saddest look of despair on her face. She was not crying. She told Buzz she had no choice she had to go away and never see Chad again, because she couldn’t face him.

  “I will do e
verything I need to by mail, I couldn’t bear to see the look of betrayal on his face,” said Amelia, “because I’m so ashamed.” Then she asked, “Buzz do you think I should tell him that I don’t love him anymore and ask for a divorce that might not hurt as much? Wait, wait, don’t even answer that, that’s stupid, I guess that won’t work since I left him a letter telling him how much I love him. I don’t know what to do or where to go,” said Amelia in a daze, “I’m so sickened with myself.”

  “Where will you go?” Buzz asked.

  “I don’t know, I have to go into hiding, Chad has known me all my life, he knows everything about me, my family, all of my friends, and he’ll know where to look for me. I must sort this out in my own mind before I can approach him, to tell him. I must try and accept the fact that we can never be together again, before I approach him in any way.”

  “Look Amelia maybe I can help, my sister, and I share a house and we have plenty of room. You can stay with us until you decide what to do. Maybe you and Chad” She cut him off, “Chad wants a family we talked about having babies and all that before he left this time.”

  Desperate and unable to think of where to go or who to turn to, Amelia said, “I guess I can come to your place for a few days, I have nowhere else to go. I’m out of ideas and can hardly think straight.”

  “Here is the address, I’ll tell everybody here you are taking a leave of absence, you know Chad will come here looking for you.”

  “Your right this is one of the first places he’ll come to.”

  Secret thoughts: (I know part of my pain is what I have to put him through. I have to decide what to do soon. He is supposed to be getting out of the army in a few weeks. He was doing that so we could be together every day,” she choked out sobbing, “and now, now, oh I’m so repulsed, offended and confused. I love him so.” How could my mother have done this to me? If only she told me before I would have stayed away, as far away as I could get from Chad, until I knew he married and settled down and then I wouldn’t have to worry.)

  Amelia went home and packed most of her things. She left a note for Shelly telling her she would not be staying there anymore and would explain later. Please understand I can’t stay here now, I love you, and tell Betty I love her too, I must go away, I can’t wait for Chad. She left a note for Chad too.

  Buzz’s sister Elaine was very nice and quite understanding. Buzz shared Amelia’s story with her and she was sympathetic. She welcomed Amelia and told her she could help her out in her flower shop, until she decided where she wanted to go and what she was going to do.

  “I don’t have any money, just one-week salary coming, I left the rest for Chad, it’s the least I could do.”

  Amelia was so grateful Elaine gave her a job in her flower shop because she knew she couldn’t work at doing the things she knew; she couldn’t concentrate in the lab or on her schoolwork. She understood that Chad would come looking for her. If she worked at a construction job or in a laboratory, he would find her. She talked to her professors and was only taking two courses. She told them she had a family emergency and would not be able to keep up with classes. She needed time to find a way to and tell Chad the disastrous thing that had happened to them.

  Secret thoughts: (It’s the coward’s way out, I know, I can’t face him right now. I’m so shocked and horror-strucken. The worst part is that I have ruined Chad’s life. What if he thinks I knew all along and tricked him? What humiliation he will face if everybody finds out and somehow blames him? What if he gets so angry at my mom that he wants to find her and kill her and Jerry for telling me? Maybe he will go back to the army, forget me, and find somebody else to love and have a family and a life. How would he face his squad and the men who look up to him and Herbie? Worse yet what if we had children and they were deformed or impaired in some way I would never forgive myself. Perhaps I should lie to him and tell him I don’t love him anymore. That would be hard to do for me he would see it in my face, hear it in my voice, and know I was being deceitful. I might be able to write it. Maybe I should go to the Chaplin and ask for advice. What I really don’t want to face is the fact that we must live apart and probably have to get divorced? I can’t even bear to think of that, or to even take off my wedding ring, I love him so. In my mind, I feel it can’t be so, but the test didn’t lie. It must be. God help me. I am so miserable, my heart aches, I believe dying is probably easier.)

  [ Chapter 45 ]

  Chad was so anxious he couldn’t wait to get back to the base. His last mission was completed, and the squad was on the way back. As soon as they were cleared, he tried calling Amelia and got no answer. He tried calling repeatedly with no results. He began to worry. He went online into his email and saw that he had emails from Amelia but scanning quickly he saw that the last one was over two weeks ago. Immediately he knew something was terribly amiss and he got upset. He had email from his mom, so he knew there was nothing wrong with the messages getting through. He read all of Amelia’s emails then read his mothers. The last one was yesterday she mentioned that she had not had any mail from Amelia which was strange. He decided to call her. I’ll call mom first and try not to panic, he thought.

  “Mom, hi, how are you?

  “Hi, I’m OK, Chad are you alright, you sound upset son?”

  “I was wondering if you have heard from Amelia.”

  “No, Chad I’m really worried about her, she usually emails me at least twice a week or calls, but I haven’t heard from her in almost two weeks.”

  “Did you see her when she came to the farm?”

  “She came and stayed with me the first day she was here and spent the night here with me. We had a grand time, actually we had a pajama party and we looked at old pictures and she talked about you and how happy you both were, and she told me about all the plans you had for the future.”

  “When was the last time you saw her, mom?”

  “That’s part of what has me worried Chad, she didn’t come back to say goodbye to me. I found a note in my mailbox. It said she had to go back quickly, and it was so strange because she thanked me for all the things, I did for her throughout her life. She told me how much she loved me and that she thought of me as her mom. She said you are my real mom because you love me and care about me as I do you. It upset me so because it sounded as if she would never see me again and was saying goodbye. It was so strange, not like her at all, it reminded me of the old days when she was upset because of all the trouble in her family. Is anything wrong, Chad between you two I mean?”

  “No, not that I know of, I don’t know what has happened, mom I’m not home yet I’m still on the road I’ll let you know as soon as I talk to her. Don’t worry mom it will all be OK.”

  “OK son, I love you, please tell Amelia I love her and give her a kiss for me, bye,” Oh and Chad I almost forgot the most important part. Lynn Amelia’s mother came back and then Jerry showed up at the farm too. That sounds like trouble to me.”

  “I’m sure that has something to do with Amelia Chad thought, she emailed me that they were there at the farm.”

  “Thanks for telling me that bye mom I’ll keep you posted.”

  Now Chad’s mind was in a spin, he knew Amelia was in trouble. Why Amelia would write a note like that to mom, he thought. I must get home as fast as I can.

  He kept on trying her cell phone with no response. It was late afternoon when he got to their apartment, she should be home from work, he thought. He bound up the steps and opened the door to the apartment. He called out for her, Amelia, Mellie, Mellie, I’m here. There was no answer. He ran all over the apartment and looked in every room, no Amelia. He went back into their bedroom glanced around and saw she was not there and went back out to the living room and saw an envelope with Shelly’s name on it. Maybe she left something for me. He went back in the bedroom and terror struck his heart when he saw the envelope on the dresser. He sat on the bed and tried to gather himself
, he held the envelope for a few minutes. He thought, I guess I knew it, I asked too much of her. I guess this is my worst nightmare come true. This must be my Dear John letter. Waiting is so hard.

  He opened the envelope and began reading. He burst into tears and didn’t know what to do. After a few minutes, he heard the apartment door open. He ran out to the living room calling, “Amelia, honey is that you?”

  “No, it’s me,” said Shelly, “Hi.” Then as she looked at him, “what’s the matter Chad? She asked alarmed by the look on his face and seeing his tears.

  “I can’t find Amelia. Do you know where she is?”

  “No,” said Shelly, “I really haven’t seen her for a while. I have been on duty and I stayed at Wilson’s for several nights. I got a note from her saying she wasn’t going to stay in the apartment, I thought it meant you and Amelia were going to find a place of your own, I confess I didn’t read it carefully. Come sit down Chad and tells me what’s happened.”

  “Shelly please do something for me, call Betty and Darrell and Wilson and ask them to come here tonight, I need their help to find her.” Shelly looked shocked and scared but did as he asked.

  Shelly called Betty, Darrell and Wilson, they had things they were supposed to do, she told them it was an emergency and they all showed up. Chad sat on the sofa Betty and Darrell on the loveseat and Shelly and Wilson in the overstuffed chair. When they were all settled Chad thanked them for coming. I’ve been away on a mission and wasn’t unable to communicate with Amelia for the last few weeks. As soon as I was able, I tried calling her with no response. Have any of you seen or spoken to Amelia in the last two weeks?

  “I tried to call her a couple of times,” said Betty, “I got no answer even when I left a message.”