A lot of the guys I went to school with had moved away. That left the relatives that had nothing to do with me. And Holden, when he liked to get under his mom’s or uncle’s skin. I hadn’t been invited anywhere, unless it was a woman’s place. Half the time, they wanted a quick fuck in the back seat, skip the awkward time to leave stage, and go our separate ways. Add in the kids, and there were no hey, you should come over invites.
Derek and Kenny had been the exception.
“You serious?” There was an edge of warning in my voice. He could kid around with me in that superficial way of his, but Eli and Owen wouldn’t understand.
Holden lifted his brows. “Why wouldn’t I be?” He shrugged. “I mean, I know, but I’m a grown-ass— Uh, a grown man. I don’t need my mom’s permission about who I hang out with.”
He glanced at Eli and awareness brightened his eyes. Holden wasn’t an idiot. He acted like it sometimes, but it was just that. An act. I had no idea why. “Look, the things we get told as kids, we accept. We don’t know any different. Then we grow up and think about that information and realize there’s more to the story. And we don’t necessarily agree with how people were treated.”
“Not everyone thinks the story has more than one point of view.” It felt like we were speaking in code. If I were to buy the house and land, Eli and Owen would learn soon enough what it was like to be different from the other Barrons in town.
“Not everyone is able to distance themselves from certain people.” Like Cameron and Naomi. “Not everyone got a front-row seat to the shi— Uh, crap show that went down. It was messed up, what happened.”
“Yeah, it was.” Mom had confronted Cameron. She’d pissed him off by naming him as the dad on the birth certificate and giving me Barron as a last name. She’d already lost her job. Fucking the married boss and getting pregnant with his kid tended to do that.
But she hadn’t been able to let it go. Scorned by the guy she’d had the bad judgment to fall in love with. Hated by the town, thanks to the vitriol spewed by Naomi. Broke and living with her parents, she’d left me with Grandma Gin and confronted Cameron at the street fair. He’d told her off in front of everyone. Accused her of being greedy, luring him away from his wife—as if he were some unwitting sailor at sea and she was a siren when he’d been the CEO of the oil refinery and she’d been his young personal assistant. He’d demanded she leave him alone and claimed she needed to seek professional help. Hadn’t she damaged his family enough? Wasn’t she satisfied with what she’d done?
I knew all the details. People had filled them in over the years. The town could be super helpful like that.
Mom had left, distraught. Sobbing. Shaking. And she’d accidentally driven headfirst into a grain truck on the narrow highway heading out of town. So… Shit show was an accurate description.
My father couldn’t own up to his role in his infidelity. He’d chosen to be harsh and mean, and I’d lost my mother because of him. Messed up? Completely and utterly fucked up.
“Anyway, my new place is done, and it’s just me there,” Holden said. “But I can pick a night when Mom’s out of town with her new man if that’d make you feel better.”
Holden’s house was on his mom’s land. My great-grandparents on the Barron side had gotten serious oil money and had used it to buy as much land in the county as possible. Once they’d passed, Cameron, the oldest, had let the others buy him out of their shares so he could become a big deal at the refinery that had become the largest employer in the area. He had a lot of power.
Meanwhile, I was twenty-seven but still planning to go to a friend’s house when his parents were out of town to keep from getting into trouble.
“Sure.” Might as well agree. It wasn’t like it was going to happen in the short time I was home before the boys and I moved for good. And refusing might make it seem like I wasn’t open to being congenial with any family not being an asshole to me. It wasn’t like my life was overflowing with friends. “I leave again in a couple of days, but maybe one of these times when I’m home.”
Owen started peppering Holden with questions about his house. When Holden said he ranched, there was no saving the man from the next hundred questions about cows, horses, and heavy equipment. He answered patiently, but he seemed to like talking about his life. This was what it would be like if my kids had aunts or uncles.
Technically, they had one of each. Stetson was older and ignored me with simmering hostility whenever we crossed paths. His younger sister, Isla, had watched me like I was a bug she’d been warned was venomous. Did they even know the kids’ names?
I shouldn’t care. But sometimes I did.
I paid for our meal and Holden’s, too, though he stayed behind, chatting with a couple of old farmers having coffee. I gathered the boys, and outside they each jumped over cracks in the sidewalk on the way to my pickup. “Hey, we’re not loading up yet. Just grab a toy for when I’m talking with Mr. Hart.”
My insurance agent’s office was right next to the diner on Main Street.
Owen opened the back door of my pickup, and they each dove inside to find the toys I’d made them bring for when we were running errands today. I could do a lot online and over the phone, but sometimes, in person was the only way. And the only way I did business anymore was with kids in tow.
The door to the law office next door to the insurance agency opened and Laney breezed out, her eyes flashing and her red lips in a mutinous line. When her gaze landed on me, surprise replaced anger. “Liam.”
“Hey, Laney.” I didn’t bother to ask what was wrong. Laney would tell you what was wrong and what your role in it was.
It was warmer out than the last time I’d seen her, but she was dressed for cooler weather, tucked into a green hoodie with black leggings on her long legs. Her pale hair was up in a ponytail. Except for a worldly gleam in her eyes and the weight of the adult world on her shoulders, she looked like she’d walked out of high school.
She noticed the flurry of activity in my vehicle. I waited for the rant of what had pissed her off, but it never came. “You’re getting carjacked,” she said wryly.
“They’ll take a lot, but they can’t drive off. I have the keys.”
“You leaving town again soon?”
“Tuesday.”
She folded her arms and cocked her hip out. “And you’re back…”
“At the end of the month.”
Her eyes widened. “That’s a long time.”
It got exponentially longer each time I was away. “A little over twenty days.”
“You gonna let me know when you get back so we can meet up?” Again, I couldn’t get a read on her tone. She was almost shy, like she was asking me on a date and was afraid I’d turn her down. But there was a hint of desperation. As if the same thought I’d had when Holden invited me over also ran through her head. Having a friend in town would be welcome.
I was thinking it now. Other than Grandma Gin and Kenny, I didn’t have anyone. Holden was a maybe. Laney and I were still neighbors. Maybe I could get a read on whether she’d be interested in buying my place.
I didn’t like the idea of selling. Kenny had read me accurately about that. But I liked the idea of having other options who didn’t share my last name. “Sure. Yeah. I’ll find a sitter.”
“Great. You’ve got my number.” She sauntered away. Confident. Mysterious.
I’d been thinking about real estate. What if Laney was interested in more than catching up? Shit. Had I just agreed to a date? My omelet sat like a steel ball in my gut. My thoughts stuck on how I was going to tell Kenny. It shouldn’t matter, but when it came to Kenny, everything mattered.
I had twenty days to figure out what the hell I was going to do.
Kennedy
* * *
Grandma Gin stepped onto the porch, her arms folded and her face tipped to the sinking sun. I parked in front of the house. The click of buckles sounded moments before the back doors of my car flew open. Eli and Owen raced
out, bombarding Grandma Gin with details of our day in Bismarck.
She nodded, but only had to listen for a few moments before the kids raced into the house. She glanced down at me. “Thank you for taking both of them.”
“Not a problem. It was fun.”
School had let out for the summer last week, and Eli had had his speech screening in Bismarck. Owen would’ve been beside himself if his brother had taken a trip to Bismarck by himself. I’d brought them both and run them through a park to wear them out for Grandma Gin.
She sniffled. “Well, I appreciate it, and I know they had fun.” Her voice was rough, like she wasn’t feeling well, or like she’d been crying.
“Everything okay?”
She waved me off. “I think I caught a little cold. Those two bring home more germs from the playground than Liam ever did.”
I chuckled. “I got a cold every other month my first two years of teaching. Derek said he should’ve bought stock in Kleenex. Call me if you need anything. I’m around all day tomorrow.”
Since the day out with Liam and the kids, I’d been inspired to do something, anything, and I couldn’t rely on Liam to entertain me. No matter how much I liked being with him, I had to learn to live with myself. And to prove to myself that I was capable on my own, I had a date with a leaky faucet. But I’d be here in a heartbeat if Grandma Gin needed me.
“Eh, not the first cold I’ve had. How’d the screening go?”
Grandma Gin might not get terribly sick, but she still had two five year olds to take care of. I’d call her tomorrow. I leaned against my car. She would invite me in if she wanted me to stay. If she wasn’t feeling well, she probably wanted to relax on the couch while the kids watched a show.
“They recommended an eval so they can make a therapy plan. I set one up for next week, and Liam needs to send them his insurance information.” We talked regularly while he was gone, but I only seemed to find more reasons to talk to him. Sometimes he called instead of messaging, and I gladly abandoned whatever DIY tinkering I was doing to answer. And I was really starting to enjoy improving my house.
Grandma Gin nodded, matter of fact. I’d always gotten the impression that she took the cards life dealt her and neatly tucked them into her hand.
Failing ranch. Stick that next to the jack of spades.
Daughter dies in the most-talked-about accident in Coal Haven’s history. Put that by the queen of diamonds.
Single-dad grandson who works out of town. Goes by the king of hearts.
Eli and his speech difficulties were getting placed. Grandma Gin played the hand she was dealt. She didn’t ask for a re-deal.
“I’ve got a casserole in the oven. You’re welcome to stay.” Her invitation lacked all energy.
“Thanks, but I need to stop at the hardware store before I go home.” I hated the anxiety that wound around my stomach. It was my first trip by myself to the hardware store. Mom had never gone there when I was growing up—that was what her various husbands had been for—and I’d gladly let Derek do those tasks. But last night, I’d watched videos, taken notes, and made a list. I was going to make that faucet my bitch. “I’ll talk to Liam and let him know everything.”
She gave me a tired smile. “Sounds good. Drive safe, Kennedy.”
I drove to town and scurried into the hardware store. Cleaning the garage was one thing. Scrubbing the floorboards another. This involved tools and a system I knew nothing about. I felt exposed, like a floodlight had spilled over me and highlighted only my ineptness. I recognized the lady paying the cashier. She worked at the grocery store. The guy taking her money had a shock of white hair and wasn’t much younger than Grandma Gin. I thought he owned the store and refused to quit working the counter.
I looked at my list. Last weekend, I’d lugged Derek’s toolbox in from the garage. I had attacked it with paper towels to clean the grime it’d collected from sitting so long and had done an inventory. I’d found all the tools I’d need for the sink. All I needed were sink parts.
Was there a sink section in the store?
I didn’t bother with a shopping basket as I wandered down the first aisle. Some of the items hanging on the hooks and piled on shelves had pictures of vehicles on them. Wrong aisle. By the time I turned down the next one, the man from the register was waiting for me with a pleasant smile. His name badge said Carlton.
“Can I help you with anything?”
Everything. I needed help with everything. In the day and age of strong and independent women, I had missed the train while sitting in the waiting rooms of doctors’ offices. And I hadn’t tried to hop on after I’d met Derek.
I held out my list. “I have a leaky faucet.”
He dug dark-framed readers out of the pocket of his red polo shirt and put them on. “Oh, yes.” He gave me another grin. “You’re close.”
He spun and hustled to the next aisle. I almost had to trot to catch up.
Peering through his readers at my list, then looking over the glasses to select from the shelf, he handed each pick to me. “Here’s the washer. And the cartridge. Oh, yes, sometimes it’s easier to buy a new aerator if it’s an old faucet. The outside might be okay, but the insides could be corroded.”
“The outside is pretty corroded.”
Another pleasant smile as he looked over his readers. “Sure you don’t want to replace the whole thing?” The trepidation must’ve shown in my expression. He chuckled. “Nothing wrong with trying to fix it first. Sometimes we need the win before we tackle a bigger project.”
Tears pricked the backs of my eyes. I needed the win. Sweeping the garage could be done by anyone, but I wanted to fix the damn sink. I wanted to fix it. I didn’t have the money to hire a plumber. I didn’t want Derek’s parents to rush over. I didn’t want Mom to make Benji drive from Fargo for a seemingly simple task. Liam would help and it wouldn’t matter if he was out of town, but Carlton was right. Sometimes we need the win.
I gathered myself before it was time to check out. Going to the hardware store was such a monumental hurdle, and I had a little bag of supplies to show for it.
When I got home, I parked next to the garage, then ducked in through the side door. Last weekend, I’d swept the floor and organized the trash that might be someone else’s treasure into piles. The broken-down lawn mower had gone out to the curb on spring cleanup week. Someone had claimed it during their curbside shopping before the dump truck came by the next morning. Same with the old-school grass cutter that ran on manpower and was full of rust.
I had a pile of metal somethings in the back corner. They were large and heavy and strange. The garage light didn’t work. I’d hauled out a ladder and changed the bulb, but no luck. Enough ambient light was coming through the two dingy windows that I could get pictures with a flash.
I aimed and shot a few pictures, then sent them to Liam. Can you work your magic with whatever these are?
I thought he was still working, but my phone rang. I answered.
“Those are old tractor seats, Kenny.”
I tilted my head to view the parts from a different angle. “Seriously?”
His deep laugh had become one of my favorite sounds. “Yeah, I’ll take them. Some people collect them. Maybe I can make ’em pretty, like a lawn ornament.”
“Like one of those for the garden where it looks like a lady bending over?”
“They’d probably sell faster than the lamp.”
The lamp was gorgeous. I’d rather have that than an ass to put next to my sweet peas, but people’s tastes differed. “They’re yours. I can bring them next time I go to your place.”
“Just let me know. I’ll make sure the shop door’s open. How’d Eli’s screening go?”
I passed along the information. “I’m calling Grandma Gin tomorrow. I don’t think she’s feeling well.”
“She’d never admit it if she wasn’t.”
“No, that’s why I’m going to be a pest. You don’t mind, do you?” Days like today, I felt like
I’d come out of a grief fog and barged into Liam’s life. “I can offer to sleep over if she’s really under the weather.” Liam’s place had four small bedrooms. The kids’ room was upstairs, and Grandma Gin preferred to sleep across from them in the other upstairs bedroom. Liam’s bedroom was on the main floor along with the guest bedroom he kept ready in case his grandma wanted to quit doing stairs.
“My house is your house, Kenny.”
“The future Mrs. Liam might have something to say about that.” My smile died, replaced by a scowl. I was protective of him. That was all.
“I’d have to date to get married. But—” He cut himself off so quickly, I frowned. He might not be dating, but he could be having sex.
My pulse kicked up. Liam and sex in the same thought sent my body into a whirlwind and left my thoughts tumbling.
“Is there someone?” Anxiety like I’d had before going into the hardware store squeezed around my stomach. I pressed a hand to my belly. I must be hungry or something.
“No. It’s just… Laney Granger asked to meet up.”
I sucked in a breath. “Oh.” Laney. Sexy, smart, and capable. Cowgirl turned city girl who came home to save the family ranch. She’d probably put in a new faucet in her sleep and give me that look. The one she’d given me in high school that said she was trying to determine what the big deal about me was and couldn’t for the life of her figure it out.
Back then, I hadn’t cared. Like my mother when she got a new husband and life was good again, I’d had Derek.
What if I lost my friend to Laney? I could envision Laney’s smug karmic smile. The vise around my insides cinched tighter.
“It’s not like I can get a babysitter anyway,” Liam said.
“I can watch the boys.” I toed a loose pebble that I’d missed sweeping. It skittered across the concrete as I stared. Offering was the right thing to do. Liam had done so much for me.
Make Me Whole: Oil Barrons, Book 1 Page 6