I swallowed as I pushed his jeans down, taking his boxers with them. His cock sprang free, long and thick and arching between us.
Oh. He was big. I’d only touched one man before. This was different—so much different—but so was I. I wasn’t Kennedy the shy virgin. I was Kennedy, who’d started seeing my best friend, the friend who had happened to be best friends with my husband. If Derek hadn’t died, we wouldn’t be here.
But he was gone and I was empty and Liam made me feel safe and wanted. He reminded me of what feeling complete was like.
I wrapped my hand around him and gave him a pump. His flesh pulsed under my skin, giving me a heady sense of power. “I’m ready.”
I let him do the condom. I had to withdraw my hand, but I watched. The way his forearm flexed as he rolled it on. The way he kneeled between my open legs. How our breathing mingled as we anticipated what came next.
The condom was on. He shoved his pants down the rest of the way and kicked them off.
I sucked my lower lip between my teeth. This was it.
But he didn’t lower his hips to line up with mine. He dropped his head and captured my mouth. I opened for him, tasting the mix of him and myself, enough to feel the slightest bit naughty. He consumed me with the kiss, so much that I didn’t tense when his broad head prodded at my entrance. I rocked up to meet him, and he thrust in, but not far. We did the same dance—he pushed in, I rose to meet him—until he was seated inside. We were connected. I was full, my walls greedily clamping around him, and it was good.
He continued to kiss me like he wanted to devour me. I hugged his broad shoulders, reveling in the pleasure of him filling me. The tremors that ran through his body echoed into me. He was holding himself back. For me.
I returned his kiss, no longer just a recipient, but an active participant; not just responding to the stroke of his tongue, but creating my rhythm.
And he thrust, withdrew all the way, and buried himself inside me.
I gasped, and he swallowed it. Intoxicating bliss built inside me like a pressure cooker. He was over me, in me, and my mind was in the moment. Pure ecstasy. My body was alive, like a wire that had been downed in a storm. It radiated with electricity and all that power had somewhere to go.
Muscles that had been growing stronger thanks to my job and my home repairs flexed and clenched. My belly was tight as I focused on the sheer rapture between my legs. The slide of his retreat, paired with the way he hit when he plunged inside, propelled me up a steep hill, seeking another peak.
The force from both of us was increasing until I had to free my mouth from his to pant in his ear. “Oh, God, Liam.”
Another tremor ran through his body and into mine. “I’ve got you, Kenny. Come for me again.”
Our bodies smashed together, the sound of our skin hitting mingled with my rapid breaths. I hitched my legs up. I needed more, deeper, harder, but I couldn’t comprehend enough to ask.
Liam read my body language. He threaded his hand between us and did nothing more than rest a fingertip on top of my clit. The motion of our bodies was enough to trigger my explosion.
Pleasure ripped through my body. “Liam!”
He caught my mouth against his and set a punishing pace, stroking out a long orgasm until I was using him to keep from flying off the face of the earth. I clung to him; I cried into his mouth, and I milked him.
His body went tight, and he hammered into me until he thrust one last time. I held him as heat flooded from him into me. I clung to his shoulders while he pulsed against my walls that gripped him.
We’d done it. We’d had sex. I’d had sex. With someone who wasn’t my husband.
A chill began to sweep away the warmth.
Liam pushed up, his gaze brushing across my face. “Let me get rid of the condom. Don’t leave though, okay?”
I nodded woodenly. When his body rolled off mine, I wanted to snatch a sheet and cover myself. Liam lifted the blankets from the floor. I kept my gaze on the covers, grabbing for them. He was at the edge of my vision. Tall, lean, with a flagging erection, the condom shiny from me.
I bit the inside of my cheek, my throat constricting, and concentrated on straightening the covers as he ducked into the hallway and used the bathroom.
I should use the bathroom, too, but then I’d have to stand up. I’d have to fully acknowledge that I’d come here to have sex. And I’d had sex. And it was good. So damn good. And that if my mind could shut off, I’d want it again. The panic from earlier resurfaced, and my heart rate kicked up.
Liam reappeared, still naked, of course. So was I. I hugged the sheet to my chest.
He got into bed with slow, measured movements. He shut off the lamp, and we were bathed in shadows.
“You okay?” he asked quietly, scooting until he was close to me. I was tempted to find my clothes and run like I had the first time we’d done something together, but I craved his proximity. I needed him next to me.
I twisted my hands in the sheet as weight piled higher on my chest and my breathing burned. “I don’t think so.”
He embraced me and laid us both back, but I was as pliant as a two-by-four.
“Go ahead and cry, Kenny. It’s all right.”
I rolled into him and sobbed.
Liam
* * *
Kenny’s head was buried in my armpit. Her fingers trailed across my chest. We’d dozed off and on after she’d finished crying. She was still here. That wiped out my regrets.
I had my own internal struggles. Was I betraying my friend? What would I tell him? How would I tell him? My life hadn’t been as entwined with Derek’s as Kenny’s had been. He’d been my best friend, like a brother to me. But I hadn’t spent every moment of every day with him. It’d been over a year since I’d typed out a message to him just to pretend for a moment that he was still there, waiting to answer and call me a jackass.
He’d been the first one I told when Payton announced she was pregnant. The guy I went to when Payton insisted we get married. The friend who reminded me that I was Eli and Owen’s father and I had rights, that I was able to not only raise them better than Payton could, but that I knew how to be a good dad because I realized how important it was to be there for them.
When I got custody of the boys, I’d called him. When I was frustrated that Cameron was trying to run me out of Coal Haven by ensuring I didn’t get hired within a sixty-mile radius of the town, Derek had given me the pep talk I needed to keep working in Williston and take care of my boys and Grandma Gin.
So, who would I tell that I’d had the most amazing night with the most special woman in my life? That it was someone I’d been friends with for years and had grown immeasurably closer to? That I wanted more, and I’d do what it took to make sure she trusted me with herself? That I’d never experienced this level of intimacy in my life, and I’d instantly craved more?
Kenny broke into my thoughts. “What are you thinking about?”
I could lie, but similar questions were on her mind. “How things have changed between us and that normally I’d talk to Derek about it but I can’t.”
“Yeah. Same.”
Silence settled between us for a few moments, but her fingers didn’t stop. I kept my mind off how soft her body was next to me. How she’d responded to my touch. How hard I’d climaxed. And that we were both naked.
“I have to go soon,” she said.
“It’s going to be a long day for you.” I kissed the top of her head. Her body was lined up with mine; we couldn’t be touching any more than if I were inside her, but I couldn’t help seeking more. “You don’t have to come to Bismarck with us today.”
“No, I’ll go. I can handle one night of hardly any sleep.”
She didn’t see my smile. It would be different to spend the day with her. There was a helluva secret between us now. “We’ll pick you up.”
She nodded, her satiny hair rubbing against my skin. I’d been fighting a second erection since I’d pulled out of her. I was
losing.
Her touch went from light and distracted to firm and full of intention. “I have a little bit of time.”
If she was willing… “I have more condoms.”
The sun was starting to rise, lighting the room more than it had in the last few minutes. I snagged a new condom from the pack in my nightstand. I didn’t bring women to the house. And I didn’t fuck around a lot in Williston, but what I’d done had been just that. Fast, frantic coupling with someone who wanted less of a commitment than I did.
The only reason I was grateful for that experience was that I had protection handy. Kenny had never been on birth control, and I wasn’t going to put her through the emotional turmoil of wondering if she was pregnant and if she could become pregnant.
The image of Kenny, her belly round with my child, nearly made me choke. Suddenly, I wanted that. I wanted it all.
I shoved my fantasies into a box in my mind and locked it. Kenny and her figuring out her new life aside, I had my own mess of a life to straighten out.
“Can I?” She lifted the packet from my fingers.
I reclined. I’d been ready to do everything, to take her as far as she could go, back off, and wait until she was ready for more. Reading Kenny was easy. This was a surprise, but it shouldn’t have been. She’d emerged from the cocoon of an identity that had naturally formed for her and that she had been happy with, and now she was fluttering around, free to be anything she wanted.
It’d made her bolder. More confident. She wouldn’t think of it that way, but she was on the interstate of her personal journey, no longer stuck in a field surrounded by dead funeral flowers.
I held still as she rolled on the condom. Her intense gaze and the way a blush stole up her cheeks made me grin.
She glanced up, and the flush deepened. “I don’t want to mess up.”
“I’ve got you.”
“I know you do.” She touched her lips to mine as she straddled me.
My brows lifted. This was a turn I wasn’t expecting. She was taking charge. She sank her body onto me and took me all the way inside. If I’d thought it had felt like I was sinking into heaven before, the way she took over and surrounded me added another level of rapture.
I gripped her hips, my abs tight. I could lie all the way back, but I didn’t want to miss the goddess on top of me. Her bed head was because of me. Her eyelids were half-mast as she adjusted to my size and began a slow and sensual ride.
I took pleasure in watching her. What she was doing blew my mind, but seeing her take what she wanted was nearly as good.
“I can’t believe I’m ready to go again so soon.” Her brow crinkled, like she was afraid what she said was insulting to Derek.
I brushed my hands up her torso, cupped her breasts, feathered my fingers over her nipples. “It’s okay. It doesn’t mean anything other than you want another release.”
She softened over me. “There’s no rule book.”
The statement meant something, but I didn’t know the story. As long as it helped. Her hands pressed into my chest, and she rode me harder.
I grunted and thrust up harder. She grew more demanding. I placed my thumb against her wet, hot clit. Her mouth dropped open and she kicked up the pace until we were both moaning and grunting. Good thing my bedroom was on a different level than the boys’ room.
When I thought I couldn’t hold out any longer, my balls drawn up so tight stars ricocheted behind my eyes, she dropped her head back and let out a low moan.
Someday, we’d do this where she could cry out, call my name, and we could have noisy, messy sex. My house wasn’t the place, especially when my kids didn’t know that Kenny was more than a friend.
When she exploded over me, spilling heat between us, her walls clenching until I could barely move, I let go. Ecstasy carried me higher until lightning raced down my spine. I curled into her, burying my head in her round breasts as I released. She rocked over me, molten, hugging me to her.
When I came down and we both quit shaking, she gave me a tentative smile. “I suppose I should go.”
“You can use the bathroom before me.”
I helped her find her clothing. She dressed before scurrying to the bathroom. I put on my jeans from last night.
When she emerged, she’d finger-combed her swirl of mahogany hair. She shyly bit her bottom lip. She had zero experience with the awkward goodbye after sex; it was cuter than hell.
I gave her another kiss. “I’ll walk you to the door.”
“Thank you,” she mumbled.
She shoved a hand through her hair, undoing all the work she’d done in the bathroom to tame it.
“Hey.” I drew her into my arms when we reached the front door. “It’s okay. Remember, there’s no rule book. If you need to go see Derek, go see him. Don’t worry about what I might think. I meant what I said.”
Relief crossed her face, but her eyes misted over. “It’s so hard, but it’s so easy at the same time. And it’s so damn confusing.” She kissed the corner of my mouth. “I’m glad you’re with me.”
I nodded and watched her walk out. I waited until she drove past the house and turned onto the main road.
She was going straight to the cemetery, and I hadn’t lied. I didn’t mind.
I cleaned up in the bathroom and went back into the bedroom. I found my phone on my dresser. I could barely comprehend what Kenny was going through, but I could understand. I pulled up Derek’s number and tapped out another message that was never going to be read.
Chapter 13
Liam
* * *
I lifted my newest creation out of the back of the pickup. It was heavy, but I wasn’t about to let the fifty-five-year-old woman who had just paid me three hundred dollars for a horseshoe firepit creation lug it around.
“Where would you like it?” I adjusted my hold, grateful I didn’t have the boys underfoot. I’d get to Williston later than my normal, but I had to deliver my custom orders.
Charlotte Garcia rushed ahead of me. “I have a place for it behind the garage, but you can set it on the pavement. My daughter’s coming by later, and she can help me move it.”
My shoulder muscles began to burn. “It’s not a problem. Lead the way.”
Her mouth formed an O, but she changed direction and opened the gate to the backyard fence. “Right through here.”
She pointed to a spot on a patterned concrete slab. I set it down, made sure it was stable, and stepped back to admire my work. The pattern of the horseshoes that made up the grates was fancier than the straight lines in the pavement. The two complemented each other.
Charlotte had her phone in her hand, snapping pictures. “This is just perfect, Liam. You are a master with a torch.”
I chuckled to cover my embarrassment. My supervisors had told me I did a good job, but they weren’t the type to gush over my work. “Thanks.”
I’d only had a taste of custom orders, but I’d miss this. I’d dropped off my other piece, the cross made from chain links, and that customer had been thrilled. He’d put it right into his garden and done the same as Charlotte for pictures.
Charlotte tucked her phone away. “Did I hear correctly? You’re not going to be at any more markets?”
“Not in Coal Haven.” I’d been researching the ones in surrounding towns online. They’d be harder to juggle with the kids, and I’d have to make sure I packed my goods well so they weren’t damaged in the commute. Steel creations weren’t fragile, but if someone was paying me, I wanted them to have my best.
“Do you have a website?”
I took off my ball cap and scratched my head. “No, but maybe I’ll think about designing one while I’m away from work.” I’d have to buy a computer first, which I could do with what Charlotte had paid me. Shipping items this heavy might be a sticking point for a lot of potential customers. But online sales were an option.
“My sister owns Haven’s Furnishings. You should talk to her.”
“Thank you. I’ll th
ink about it.” It would be a risk to do anything more. Charlotte’s sister, Hattie, had experienced her own troubles with my father’s wife. If Naomi found out I was trying to sell my work in Coal Haven, she’d make sure Cameron put a stop to it.
The earnestness fell from Charlotte’s expression as if she’d read my mind. “Hattie doesn’t care who Cameron and Naomi Barron think they are. Naomi tried to force Hattie out of the building her store’s in, and it only made Hattie’s business stronger. My sister has an eye for quality, and once I send her these photos, her mind is going to churn up all the possibilities. Call her.”
This time I didn’t brush off the thought so quickly. The Garcia sisters were well known in town, and well respected, mostly because people were too afraid to mess with them. Charlotte had learned her husband was cheating on her. She kicked him out and hauled all his belongings to his other woman’s house and dumped them on her lawn. Then she’d divorced him and changed her name.
I’d heard about the location dispute between Hattie and Naomi. Grandma Gin and Grandpa Bob had discussed it around the dinner table when I was in middle school. Naomi had been on the city council, and she’d wanted to demolish that corner and erect a new building with retail on the main floor and condos on the top. Claimed it would revive downtown.
Hattie had launched a campaign and called it Historic Coal Haven. She’d recruited the historical society, the state archives, and surrounding libraries to advocate and provide research on the benefits of preserving the original look of communities. Hattie had also gathered research about how tax breaks and startup incentives revived downtown at a fraction of the cost of demolition and new builds. To top it all off, she’d asked the council if projects like the retail/combo new build would be allowed to be bid on by companies owned by family members of those on the council, like Naomi’s brother, who owned a commercial construction company.
The entire downtown was preserved as part of Coal Haven’s history, and she’d needed the city council to sign off on it. Naomi had put on a serene face around town. If she had argued, she’d look like a greedy politician—exactly what she was. But acting as if she didn’t care about Coal Haven—a town in which she behaved like royalty—would’ve been too damaging.
Make Me Whole: Oil Barrons, Book 1 Page 15