Cameron had driven out here and warned Liam away, but he didn’t even know we were dating. What would he do if he learned otherwise? I repressed a shudder.
I put my hand on Liam’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
He set the brush on the tarp he’d laid down to protect the floor and put the metal lid on the paint can. “It was Cameron being Cameron. Doesn’t want a damn thing to do with me, but swoops in and thinks I’ll listen to him.”
“I’m still sorry.”
“It’s not your fault, Kenny. None of this stuff is.”
“It’s not yours either.”
He rose and grabbed a blue-paint-speckled rag from his back pocket. “It is. Because I can’t seem to stay away from you. And I don’t want to.”
After hearing him say that, I was grateful to spend the night with him. I followed him to the sink, where he rinsed the paint off the brush. His forearms flexed as he washed his hands.
I leaned against the counter next to the sink. This part of the shop was newer. It’d been a bare wall in high school. Liam had built it into a nice workstation.
He was a talented guy. Multifaceted. I couldn’t wait to see what he did with this place once he was here for good. And I didn’t want to be the one getting a job where I’d need to commute. But he’d done it for so long. With kids. While supporting Grandma Gin and me. I could suck it up.
I let my gaze linger on his broad chest. “I don’t want you to stay away from me either. In fact, I want you to stick pretty close.”
He shut the water off. Dried his hands on a clean towel next to me, then tossed it down.
He stepped in front of me, caging me against the counter with his arms. “What else do you want me to do?”
I pretended to think. “You already fed me.”
“I did.” His head hung lower, our lips closer.
I tugged his shirt out of his pants. “You already filled my low tire.” He had talked me through it, but he had a compressor—and he’d given me a tire gauge to keep in my glove compartment.
“I did.” Our mouths were closer. “Anything else?”
My fingertips grazed his hot skin. His abs clenched. “I don’t know, but I suppose we should go inside and think of more?”
“Nah. You can be noisier out here.”
My lips parted. Yes. I wanted to be noisy with him. It was the opening he must’ve wanted. His mouth was on me, his tongue inside me, and my ass was being lifted.
In his bed, in my house, there was always a sense that we could get caught. The big shop doors were open, but we were tucked in the back and surrounded by shadows. This was the privacy I craved.
He trailed kisses away from my mouth as he loosened the ties of my shorts with a finger. They dropped down my thighs to my feet. My underwear followed. As he worked, I tangled my hands through his, got his jeans open, and freed his granite-hard erection. I hadn’t worked out the logistics of how we were going to do this, but like always, Liam was ready for me.
He dropped to his knees, his erection pointing up. He steadied me as I stepped out of my shorts. I thought he’d rise, but he lifted my leg, opening me right in front of his face.
The exposure left me vulnerable, like it had that day on my kitchen floor. But I’d been on my back, staring at my kitchen ceiling while clinging to a table leg with one hand, the other buried in his hair.
There was no pretending to hide like this. He met my gaze as he kissed the top of my mound as if to prove that I had nothing to be self-conscious about, then kissed lower. When he licked out, the leg I was standing on trembled and I was aware of only where he touched me. To hell with what my stomach and thighs looked like. I gripped the counter as he licked through my seam and tackled my clit.
He toyed with me. The other times we’d been together, he’d been sensitive, like he’d measured my response and used his best judgment. This moment was for him, his joy, and I wanted him to have it.
So I clung to the counter, my legs vibrating when he increased the pressure, my body sagging when he backed off. A few cycles of that and there was no sagging. I was strung tight, the pressure mounting.
He put my other leg over his shoulder, his head buried between my thighs, supporting me completely. I was going to die from the erotic sight. Die of embarrassment. Die of need. Die of sheer ecstasy that flooded my veins and threatened to rupture my heart.
“Oh, God, Liam. I don’t think I can do this much longer.” I had to gasp out a few words at a time. He was relentless.
I hung my head back but couldn’t resist seeing the dirty picture we made. I wasn’t just drawn to the way he devoured me, but how he was doing it like he knew exactly what I could take and he was showing me. He was proving to me that I could do it. Like he always had, only with his body. With soul-destroying pleasure.
I’d never think I was strong enough to crack the counter, but it creaked when I hit my peak with a bang. Rapturous sensations burst from me, and I rode his face while my hands yanked at the edge of the workbench. Last week, I couldn’t open a jar of pickles, but right now all my muscles were clenched like I could tow a semi down the highway.
I hollered his name, my voice echoing off the walls. It probably carried out of the shop, but not far. I couldn’t tug his hair; I couldn’t roll away. I was at his mercy. Completely.
He pulled away, kissed my thigh, and helped me anchor my feet on the floor as I panted and attempted to catch my breath.
He rose, jerking his wallet out, and jamming a condom on in record time.
“How are we—”
He lifted me. His face was savage beauty, carved from harsh rock into something that almost hurt to look at. His hair hung over his forehead, shadowing his eyes. Primal.
Grabbing my hips, he lifted. I wrapped my legs around him, and his blunt head pushed into me. It felt so good but wasn’t nearly enough. I flexed and relaxed my thighs until I was seated completely on his erection and so full I wasn’t sure I could take all of him even though we’d done this before.
Again, he took what he needed. I tried to start a rhythm, but he was in control. He stood with his feet planted wide, and he supported me. It was the two of us in the middle of the floor, an island of ecstasy. His strength, his confidence that I could keep my legs secured around him. My strength and my confidence that this would work because he would make it so.
“Liam?” My breasts rubbed against his chest as he lifted and lowered me.
“Yeah,” he breathed against my mouth.
“This feels really good.” I should feel stupid for saying that, but I wanted him to know. I wanted him to know a lot more, but I wasn’t ready to go there yet.
“Fuck yeah, baby.” He grunted and ground me into him until my jaw dropped. “This is only the beginning. I have you to myself all damn night.”
All. Damn. Night. We had to make this happen more often. His breath puffed against my face. I meant to kiss him, but euphoria made me sloppy. I ended up licking along his lips onto his cheek.
He seemed to like how I lost control when he had all the power.
“Grab on to the counter. Keep your legs around me.” He tipped me back. I flailed, but my palms smacked smooth laminate and my fingers curled around it. I wasn’t worried about falling. Around Liam, I never had to worry.
Our new position gave him more room to swing his hips. He pounded into me; it was up to me how much I wanted the edge of the counter to jab me in the ass. He adjusted his hold until he secured me with one hand. With his other, he thumbed my clit.
I barked out a cry. Sensitive bordering on painful, it was exactly what I needed for a second orgasm.
“Liam, I’m—” A long moan left me as I escalated to the tip of my peak and catapulted over.
Our moans and grunts mingled as he continued to drive into me. I caught glimpses of his harsh expression, his sheer focus on coming, and it was fucking hot.
Heat flooded into me, around me, as he climaxed.
My arms were shaking. I pressed my back along th
e edge of the counter and leaned back, using my elbows to take hold.
Liam was barely done orgasming, but he helped set my feet on the ground. Considerate Liam was back, but I’d gotten to see him at his most raw. Vulnerable. When he wasn’t trying to be the best at whatever he did—the best grandson, the best father, the best lover. He got to be Liam with me, and I’d treasure that trust forever.
Chapter 19
Liam
* * *
I was driving to Williston soon. My last long stretch there. It was the end of the twenty days that I was really looking forward to. After the epic sex in the shop, Kenny and I had made our way to my bed and we’d talked. And I’d invited her out for my last few days.
I reviewed the non-Kenny parts of my plan with Grandma Gin as I put chicken strips in the oven for supper and steamed a bag of vegetables. Minimal prep, minimal cleanup for her. I’d even talked to Eli and Owen about wiping their plates off and putting dishes in the dishwasher.
“So, I was supposed to work until the thirtieth, but uh…”
Grandma Gin paused in her prep of the tomatoes and cucumbers she’d bought at the farmers market. She didn’t go to the one I was banned from, but drove to Hazen and visited theirs, and she’d do that until I was issued a formal apology. So, forever, but Grandma Gin had my back. “Yes?”
“I have some days of leave, and I’d like to spend them…” Fucking Kenny’s brains out while we spent some kid-free days together. We wouldn’t be asking Grandma Gin for more than she’d planned already.
All Kenny had asked was that I be discreet. I hadn’t talked to Grandma Gin yet about Kenny, and I hadn’t asked Kenny if she minded. I kept meaning to, but then I wasn’t sure how I’d take it if Kenny said she didn’t want Grandma Gin to know.
“Anyone special you’re going to spend those days with?” She sliced neatly through a tomato, cutting even slices, waiting for me to answer.
“Yeah.” Please don’t ask for more details. I didn’t want to lie to Grandma Gin. She’d done so much for me.
“Owen said you’d had an overnight guest.” Slice. Slice.
“Kenny stayed to tuck them in and then helped out in the shop.” We hadn’t gotten a damn thing done other than epic sex.
It didn’t feel right to play it off, not to Grandma Gin. Kenny had told Laney about us. I needed someone on my side, and Grandma Gin had been there from the beginning. She might have reservations based on my history and Kenny’s, but she’d be happy for me.
“We’re seeing each other, but we’re keeping it quiet.”
“Mm.” That wasn’t exactly the reaction I expected. I couldn’t tell whether she approved or she was disappointed in me. She switched to a cucumber. “I also heard Cameron was here.”
The boys were shit at keeping secrets. And I was shit for expecting them to. “When I went to Hattie’s to discuss how I’d work with her, Kenny came along. Bruce and Cameron saw us. He had to warn me off. You know how he is.”
Grandma Gin snorted at the last statement. “Sounds like him.” She dumped the cucumbers into the bowl. “The thing with Kenny… I don’t know, Liam.”
Grandma Gin’s tone wasn’t resigned. It wasn’t full of warning. She said she didn’t know, and she meant it. She’d had my back since before I was born. If she wasn’t ecstatic, then I couldn’t ignore it.
“She’s really important to me.”
Her tone was gentle. “Are you important to her? Or is this a hurdle she has to get over? Part of moving on?”
I wasn’t a hurdle. I had to be more than that with Kenny. Why couldn’t I be the stopping point? My boys were thriving. I had my own place. I’d find a good job.
I had a lot to offer. For once in my life, I realized that. “She’s moving on, but I don’t think she plans to leapfrog over me. Why would she?”
Less drama. A chance to find someone who didn’t put her at odds with Bruce and Willow or make her defensive with her mom. Someone she could proudly be with around town.
Thoughts I hadn’t allowed to exist crowded into my brain. She wanted time. She wanted privacy. But what if, in the end, she didn’t want me?
Grandma Gin diligently worked on the salad, her lack of an answer increasing my anxiety.
No. I knew Kenny. She wasn’t a user. I was having a moment of panic that told me that maybe I should tell her how I felt. Tell her that I was in love with her. Then what? What if she didn’t love me? I’d just wait like I had been doing?
Grandma Gin started making homemade ranch dressing to add to the salad. Homemade so she could add buttermilk and sour cream—better than store bought. Only, her forehead wasn’t normally creased when she stirred her ranch.
“Then how long are you two keeping things quiet?” she finally asked. “If she’s already doing overnights, how long? Are the boys going to say something in town and be the ones to face the backlash?”
I scowled. “No.” I hadn’t wanted the kids to be confused, but I didn’t think about what they’d say in school, the teachers who would overhear.
“Then when, Liam?” She held up a callused, wrinkled hand. “It’s not my business; I get that. But when you’re using more energy to hide what you’re doing instead of talking about how to deal with people and their many opinions, that energy’s going to be wasted. You understand?”
“We aren’t hiding.” We’d gone to the lake. Her mom and Benji had come over. And we’d pretended to be platonic. No hand-holding. No public kisses. We didn’t even hug. We might not be hiding, but we were acting like something we weren’t, which wasn’t how I lived my life.
“It’s complicated,” I finally said.
“Never claimed it wasn’t.” She finished one last stir and pushed the bowl away. “I want you happy, Liam. You’ve worked really hard these last few years. You’re providing for two kids, for me—don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing there—and you’ve built a second business based on word of mouth about your talent. A partner would see that. A real partner, who cares about you, wouldn’t want to hide you. She’d want to show you off. You shouldn’t be a secret.”
My mouth went dry. My mom had been a secret, and what happened to her was directly related to that. Grandma Gin was scared for me. Worried. “This isn’t like Mom and Cameron.”
“No,” Grandma Gin huffed. “I’d have a lot more opinions about that. I know Kenny’s on a journey not many of us have weathered, and she’s doing it so young. But, Liam, this isn’t like you and Derek either. That kid didn’t care what anyone said. You were family. He didn’t care who knew it. I respected him for it. But he also let you take the blame when the stupid shit you both did was his idea. When you being Liam Barron was convenient, he was okay with it. I don’t want that for you again.”
Defensiveness for my friend rose. “It wouldn’t have done any good to tell anyone any different.”
“You can let others do what’s best for them, but when it comes at the cost of hurting you? Just remember, it’s okay to do what’s best for you too. All right?”
“All right.” I wasn’t going to argue with her. She’d said what she needed to say, and maybe she could feel better. Lighter.
As for me, I thought about myself all the time, and it was hard not to see how much it cost the ones I loved to be associated with me.
Kennedy
* * *
After two and a half agonizingly long weeks of painting and job searching, I had finally gotten my week away. Laney had given me a ride to Dickinson. Liam had picked me up from there and driven back to Williston. Dickinson was too close to Coal Haven for us to be comfortable. We’d gotten a hotel with a restaurant attached in Williston and spent our time there. He’d even coaxed me into the hot tub.
The next two days had flown by. He’d taken me out to the site where he’d worked. The countryside was dotted with wells, but other than getting a tour of town and where he worked and going out to eat, we’d stayed at the hotel. Stayed lost in each other’s bodies.
And we’d ce
lebrated.
Last week, Hattie’s friend from the mine near Washburn had called Liam. They’d talked for almost an hour, and by the time the call was over, the job had been offered to Liam. It’d be a commute, but regular shifts and steady pay.
Now we were driving back to reality. We’d lingered until checkout, had a quick lunch, and hit the road. He had an arm casually draped over the wheel and the lock of hair that fell over his brow gave him a devil-may-care appeal.
Everything was falling into place for him, and it made me beam brighter than the sun to witness it. Being with him for three full days only cemented how I felt about him. I hadn’t brought myself to tell him. Doing it in Williston hadn’t been personal enough since it was a place where we were getting away from it all.
I’d do it. Soon. At his place. Telling him how I felt at his house had a sense of rightness I couldn’t shake. My nerves liked the delay. I couldn’t lie to myself about that. I hadn’t been an instigator in my last relationship, but things were different with Liam. I was different with Liam, and I liked myself this way.
I watched the scenery scroll by. Softly rolling hills interrupted by random buttes so much taller. Some were flatter on top than others. I could imagine Eli and Owen scaling the sides, determined to get to the highest spot. We passed fields. If the crop wasn’t corn or sunflowers, I had to ask Liam. He’d name canola or soybeans or barley. Pastures interspersed the fields. Cattle grazed.
So peaceful.
I’d been lulled into thinking that since there wasn’t much going on in my life, I didn’t deserve time to myself. Three days, and I felt like I knew who this Kennedy Barron was. I’d been with Liam the whole time, but that’d always been the lure of him. I could be myself around him.
My phone buzzed and kept going. “Must be Mom.” I glanced at the screen and froze. It was Bruce. It buzzed as I stared.
Liam glanced over. His brow lifted when he saw who it was, but he turned his gaze to the road.
Make Me Whole: Oil Barrons, Book 1 Page 22