The Guilt Trip

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The Guilt Trip Page 16

by Sandie Jones


  ‘Come on,’ says Paige, pulling her down the stairs. ‘There’s that nice bottle of champagne that we bought at the airport in the fridge. What do you say we crack that open and get this party started?’

  Rachel attempts to smile.

  ‘Because you and I both know that we’re going to need all the help we can get.’

  Like the best friends they’ve always been, they look at each other conspiratorially, knowing it makes sense.

  ‘So how is madam today?’ asks Paige as she pours half a flute and waits for the fizz to dissipate before topping it up.

  It’s the simplest of questions, and one that Paige should already know the answer to. Yet she’s not giving anything away.

  ‘I thought you’d seen her,’ chances Rachel, watching her expression carefully.

  Nothing changes, apart from Rachel’s heartbeat, as Paige shakes her head.

  As much as it pains her, she’d rather Paige and Jack just come out with whatever they know, than feign ignorance. Right now, it feels like she’s an animal that needs to be put out of its misery and she can’t, for the life of her, understand why they would deny her that.

  ‘She’s doing okay,’ she says warily.

  ‘No last-minute nerves?’ asks Paige, handing Rachel the glass.

  ‘No, she seems pretty set. I don’t think she’s the type of girl to have second thoughts,’ says Rachel.

  ‘Well, if nothing else, you’ve got to give it to her for being so calm. I was a wreck on my wedding day.’

  Rachel looks at her. ‘Well, you’d never have known. You seemed an assured, confident vision as you came down the aisle.’

  ‘Isn’t it funny how different people perceive the same situation?’ muses Paige. ‘As I said yesterday, all I could think about was whether it was what he really wanted.’

  Rachel feels the first flutterings of discomfort in her chest; like slowly falling sand in an hourglass, each granule gently shifting against one another to push through.

  ‘Why wouldn’t it be?’ As soon as she’s said it, she wants to take it back to rephrase it. Asking a question, especially one to which you don’t want to know the answer, is not a strong position to put yourself in.

  Paige looks at her with raised eyebrows and it feels as if that hourglass has been turned upside down.

  ‘I’ve never known Noah to be as sure of anything in his life,’ Rachel offers.

  ‘He looked like a deer in the headlights,’ says Paige, half-laughing. ‘And all the while I was walking down the aisle towards him, I was just waiting for him to put his hand up and say, “Stop!”’

  Rachel smiles. ‘That’s ridiculous.’

  Paige knocks back half her glass, closing her eyes as the effervescence tickles her senses. ‘What’s even more ridiculous is that when we got to the, “If any person here knows of any just cause why these two should not be joined together,” I was honestly waiting for you to stand up and shout, “It should be me!”’

  Rachel chokes on her champagne, in the hope that it will distract from the colour that is flushing her cheeks.

  ‘What? With my husband and toddler by my side?’ Rachel laughs, but she can’t help but think it sounds false.

  ‘That was before we became good friends and I got to know you properly,’ says Paige, making Rachel feel even worse, if that was at all possible.

  Unable to stop the tears springing to her eyes, she turns to look out the kitchen window, towards the ocean, that is shimmering in the midday sun.

  ‘Hey, hey,’ says Paige, going to her, sensing something’s wrong. ‘What’s up?’

  Where would she start? How can she tell Paige that the problem which had seemed insurmountable twenty-four hours ago is now the least of her worries? That, if Ali so chooses, she, Paige, Jack and Noah could be about to have their worlds blown apart? She can’t help but acknowledge that however big a mountain looks, when you put it against a bigger one, you realize how easy the first one is to climb in comparison.

  ‘Is this about Ali?’ presses Paige.

  Rachel nods. ‘I think you might be right,’ she says, sniffing.

  ‘About?’ asks Paige, looking at her blankly.

  ‘I think there might be something going on between Ali and Jack.’

  Paige’s hands drop to Rachel’s sides and her jaw spasms involuntarily.

  ‘I . . . I can’t say for certain,’ Rachel goes on, falteringly. ‘I’m not a hundred per cent, but there’s so much that points in that direction, that I have to face the possibility.’

  ‘Is it because of what I overheard last night?’ asks Paige. ‘Because I’ve thought about that and they could have been talking about anybody. I bet half the men in that restaurant are having affairs and keeping it from their wives.’ She attempts to laugh.

  ‘There’s been other stuff too,’ says Rachel. ‘Stuff I haven’t told you about.’

  Paige narrows her eyes. ‘Namely?’

  ‘I saw her coming out of our room yesterday,’ says Rachel. ‘When we got back from shopping.’

  ‘What?’ exclaims Paige, holding Rachel at arm’s length.

  Rachel nods. ‘It could have been nothing, but when I walked in a few minutes later, Jack was wearing nothing more than a towel.’

  Paige’s mouth drops open, rendering her momentarily speechless.

  ‘And then I found Jack’s watch – the one I gave him for our anniversary – hidden in a drawer in her room.’

  ‘I’ll fucking kill the pair of them,’ seethes Paige.

  ‘That’s not going to solve anything,’ says Rachel, attempting to smile.

  ‘I am not going to stand by and let this carry on,’ says Paige. ‘She’s supposed to be getting married today, for God’s sake.’

  ‘I know, I know,’ says Rachel, already wishing she’d kept it all to herself. It will only serve to complicate matters now that Paige is on the case, as she won’t let anyone get away with anything.

  ‘Have you confronted Jack? Asked him how he can possibly justify what he’s doing to his brother?’

  Rachel doesn’t want to tell her that she’s already tested the waters and he just used it as an opportunity to throw Noah back in her face.

  She shakes her head. ‘I think I should talk to Ali first.’

  ‘Why?’ asks Paige. ‘It’s Jack you should be focusing on. He’s your husband. Ask him what the fuck he thinks he’s playing at.’

  Rachel sniffs. ‘I don’t know what to do.’

  Paige’s arms wrap around Rachel and she falls onto her shoulder. ‘I’ll deal with this,’ she says, her voice icy.

  Visions of Paige storming across the wedding reception to front Jack and Ali out are all too easy for Rachel to conjure up. Never one to avoid a confrontation, especially with Jack, she can imagine Paige’s distorted features as she jabs a finger into his chest, telling him how her best friend is too good for him, and that if he thought half as much with his head as he did his dick, he’d realize that too.

  ‘Look, we don’t have proof yet,’ says Rachel. ‘I don’t have proof yet.’

  ‘You saw her coming out of your room,’ says Paige, sounding exasperated. ‘She’s all over him every chance she gets; she’s forever alluding to some kind of private joke; she bought him a cock, for Christ’s sake.’

  ‘It was a rooster,’ offers Rachel, as if it makes a difference.

  Any one of those, in isolation, wouldn’t have caused Rachel a second thought, especially when it involved someone as outgoing and gregarious as Ali. But collectively . . .

  ‘And have you thought that the whole passport charade at the airport might have been exactly just that – a charade?’ Paige goes on.

  Rachel doesn’t need to have the dots pointed out to her; she’s already joined them up herself. ‘I don’t want you getting involved,’ she says. ‘This isn’t your problem.’

  Paige chews the inside of her cheek, distractedly. ‘No disrespect, but you’ve just made it my problem. Why don’t you talk to Jack, and leave me to hav
e a word with Ali?’

  Rachel can’t think of a worse plan if she tries. If Paige goes in all guns blazing at Ali, she’s only going to retaliate by telling her about Rachel and Noah. But then she remembers that they’ve already had a confrontation – well, a heated conversation at least – when they were on the beach. If Ali was going to tell her, why hadn’t she told her then?

  ‘Have you already spoken to Ali?’ asks Rachel.

  Paige shakes her head. ‘About what?’

  ‘About Jack.’

  ‘No,’ says Paige, without missing a beat.

  ‘So, what were you talking to her about this morning, then?’

  ‘I haven’t seen her this morning,’ says Paige, averting her gaze.

  Rachel looks at her best friend and wonders why she’s lying. A tightness coils its way around her windpipe, as she weighs up whether to push it. It feels too important a point not to.

  ‘But I saw you,’ she says quietly, as if hoping Paige doesn’t hear her.

  ‘What’s that?’ says Paige, leaning in.

  Rachel coughs to clear her throat. ‘I saw you on the beach together, when you went for your run.’

  Paige blinks far more times than is natural. ‘W-what?’ she says, her voice wavering between a laugh and a gasp of disbelief.

  ‘It looked like you were arguing. It was hard to tell through the binoculars.’

  ‘You were watching me through binoculars?’ asks Paige incredulously.

  When she says it like that, it does sound a little creepy.

  ‘Well, yes,’ says Rachel, feeling as if she’s been caught snooping. ‘Noah was watching the surfers, then happened to see you and Ali on the beach.’

  ‘Oh,’ says Paige, seemingly speechless for once.

  ‘So, what were you talking about?’ asks Rachel. ‘Did you just happen to run into each other?’

  ‘Well, I was going to tell you . . .’ says Paige. ‘But I wanted to get today over and done with first.’

  ‘Tell me what?’ asks Rachel.

  ‘I honestly thought she was telling the truth,’ says Paige, making no sense.

  ‘Who?’ exclaims Rachel. ‘Telling the truth about what?’

  ‘When I went for my run, I saw her and Jack coming towards me on the beach . . .’

  A gasp catches in Rachel’s throat. So, she was right – they had been together that morning.

  ‘As soon as they saw me, Jack made his excuses, saying he couldn’t stop as he was behind on getting everything ready for the wedding.’

  Rachel’s not sure she wants to hear any more.

  ‘And?’ she asks, tentatively.

  ‘And,’ says Paige, unable to look at her, ‘I had it out with her.’

  ‘What did you say?’

  ‘I just asked her what was going on,’ says Paige. ‘And she said she was just having a laugh.’

  ‘And you believed her?’ asks Rachel.

  ‘I was trying to, until you told me you saw her coming out of Jack’s room and found his watch in her drawer.’

  The mention of the watch reminds Rachel of something that doesn’t quite add up. ‘You said she and Jack were running together?’ she asks, emphasizing the word.

  ‘Erm, yeah,’ says Paige.

  ‘But she wasn’t wearing her trainers,’ says Rachel. ‘How could they have been running if she didn’t have her trainers on?’

  ‘How do you know she wasn’t wearing trainers?’ asks Paige.

  ‘Because they were on the floor in her room.’

  Paige looks like she has a thousand questions she wants to ask, but Rachel doesn’t have the energy to answer. ‘It doesn’t matter,’ she says.

  Paige shrugs her shoulders. ‘I don’t know – maybe she has more than one pair – I honestly can’t remember.’

  ‘But you out and out asked if there was anything going on between her and Jack.’

  Paige nods. ‘In not so many words, yes. When she said no, I told her that she’d be wise to rein it in because she was making a complete fool of herself.’

  ‘I’m going to ask her outright,’ says Rachel, turning towards the door.

  Paige grabs her by the wrist. ‘We need to think very carefully about this,’ she says. ‘Because if you play it wrong, this whole thing could blow up in your face.’

  Rachel doesn’t need Paige to tell her what’s at stake here. Though, it shames her that the fear of Ali calling her out about Noah is far more prevailing than what she might be getting up to with Jack. She shakes her head at the impossible situation.

  ‘I can’t get through today, not knowing what’s going on,’ says Rachel. ‘Constantly waiting for my world to tumble down around my ears.’

  ‘But it’s not just your world you have to worry about here,’ says Paige. ‘We’ve got Will to think about in all this as well.’

  ‘I know,’ says Rachel in a high-pitched voice. ‘He thinks he’s marrying the love of his life. Shouldn’t someone tell him she’s not who he thinks she is, before it’s too late?’

  ‘No,’ says Paige brusquely. ‘You have to think of the bigger picture here. No one will thank you for ruining this wedding. Will and Jack will never speak again. The family will be torn apart. Do you really want to be responsible for that?’

  Hot tears spring to Rachel’s eyes and she lets out a sob. ‘Oh God, this is such a mess.’

  Paige pulls her into a hug and rubs her back. ‘I’m sorry to be so tough, but I’m only thinking what’s best for you. You’re going to put on your stiff upper lip and go out there today as if everything is under control.’

  Rachel nods, but her bottom lip is quivering.

  ‘I’m going to be by your side every step of the way,’ Paige goes on. ‘And at the first sign of any trouble, I’m going to step in and deal with it.’

  Paige’s palpable loyalty shakes Rachel to the core as she dares to wonder how duped she’s going to feel when she discovers that it wasn’t afforded to her in return.

  17

  ‘There you are!’ exclaims Jack, as he fiddles with the navy-silk cravat around his neck.

  Rachel’s insides clench as she looks at the husband she loves in the mirror, unable to imagine how she’ll ever let him make love to her again if she finds out he’s sleeping with Ali. Though, she doubts he will ever want to, if he finds out she slept with Noah, even if it was twenty years ago.

  ‘Here, can you give me a hand with this?’ he says.

  She walks towards him, her body battling against itself as it sways between wanting to throw her arms around him to beg for forgiveness, and wanting to put her hands around his neck to throttle him, for being so stupid.

  Instead, she ties his cravat and arranges the fabric to sit nicely over his buttoned-up waistcoat. ‘You look very handsome,’ she says, honestly.

  ‘I look like I’m going to spontaneously combust at any moment,’ he says grumpily. ‘Why on earth we have to wear all this ridiculous get-up when it’s so hot out there, I don’t know.’

  ‘It’d be the same if it were a nice summer’s day in England,’ says Rachel. ‘You might even be in a top hat there, so I’d count yourself lucky if I were you.’

  ‘But isn’t that the whole point of getting married abroad?’ asks Jack. ‘It’s supposed to be a more casual affair, with the men in linen suits and the ladies in summer dresses.’

  ‘It’s their wedding,’ says Rachel, stepping out of her dress. ‘It can be however they want.’

  ‘It’s her wedding,’ says Jack. ‘That’s why we have to have all this pomposity.’ He shrugs on his jacket, with as much attitude as he can muster, as if the inanimate object is to blame for everything. ‘If it were down to Will, we’d be barefoot in shorts, drinking bottles of beer by now.’ He absently looks at his wrist to check the time, but on seeing his watch isn’t there, looks at her blankly, momentarily stumped.

  ‘Shit, where’s my watch?’ he asks.

  Rachel’s jaw tenses as she shrugs her shoulders as nonchalantly as she can. ‘When did you las
t have it?’

  ‘Well, if I knew that, I’d know where it is,’ he says tersely.

  He makes a feeble attempt at looking around the room. Rachel follows him, lifting things up, even though she knows it’s futile.

  ‘Do you remember having it on your run?’ she asks.

  ‘Mmm, no,’ he says, rubbing at his chin. ‘I used my Apple watch for that.’

  Rachel watches as he goes into the bathroom.

  ‘I definitely had it last night,’ he says. ‘I was wearing it in the restaurant.’

  Rachel wonders how it came to be in Ali’s possession between then and now. Had she and Jack got together after Will had gone back to the hotel? After Ali had already been seemingly satisfied in the pool by her husband-to-be. She wonders what time Paige had gone to bed, knowing she wouldn’t have wanted to if it meant leaving Jack and Ali alone together. Perhaps Jack had excused himself first to try to avoid suspicion, and had taken himself off to Ali’s room.

  Rachel imagines him lying on Will’s side of the bed, biding his time until he could be alone with his brother’s bride. Would he really be so bold? So desperate to be with her that he’d risk Will’s wrath should he unexpectedly come back. He must have been, as why else would his watch have been inadvertently left there? And why else would Ali feel the need to hide it?

  ‘I’ll look for it,’ says Rachel. ‘You should get up to the hotel, otherwise Will will be thinking he’s been stood up by his best man.’

  ‘Shame it’s not his bride,’ says Jack.

  He huffs frustratedly as he leans in to give her a kiss. ‘I’ll see you at the Ali show,’ he says, drawing speech marks in the air with his fingers. ‘And what a show it’s going to be.’

  He says it with such bitterness that Rachel can’t help but wonder if he knows something is brewing. As if he knows that it’s going to be a party that no one’s ever going to forget.

  Paranoia seeps through her, like a poison being injected into her veins, as she imagines herself as the star attraction. She pictures Ali standing up to deliver her speech – because there’s no chance she won’t – but instead of thanking her parents and being grateful for Will, her new husband, she points a finger at Rachel and calls her out for having a child with Noah and passing it off as Jack’s. The wedding party will all turn to look at her with sneering derision written all over their faces, but all she’ll see is Jack’s open-mouthed shock as he sits beside her, utterly bereft.

 

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