by Ivy Blake
“Austin,” she whispered, and at the sound of her voice I opened my eyes. When her face came into view, I could see that she had a busted lip and red cheeks, courtesy of Steven. She lowered herself to the floor and cradled me in her arms, stroking my hair softly as she rocked me like a baby.
“You can leave him,” I croaked, the pain too much to bear.
“It’s not that simple,” said Mom through tears. Were we lucky that our house had soundproof walls and stood apart from the others? Or would it have been better if our neighbours could hear everything that went on here? Would they have stepped in? These were questions that constantly raced through my mind, but there was no way to ever know. As I started to feel faint from the pain, all I knew was that I wasn’t sure how much longer I could put up with this.
* * *
After Mom bandaged me up and helped me to bed, I lay awake feeling sorry for myself. On nights like these, when Steven got particularly violent, I found it impossible to sleep- fearful that he’d burst in again and go for round two. I played his words over and over again, torturing my conscience with their menace. Words I’d heard for years that had transformed into my own critical voice that I tried to drown out with weed and alcohol and girls but even I knew it was only temporary.
If Ross and Nate saw me in this state, what would they think of me? Would they think I was pathetic for not being able to fight back? For not being able to protect Mom from the tyrant that ruled our house with an iron fist? Another person crossed my mind. Megan. What would she think? Maybe she’d feel some sort of justice that her tormentor was getting what he deserved. I laughed bitterly to myself, my sides splintered with pain.
I pulled my blanket tighter around me as I thought about my father, and wondered how he would have treated me and Mom if he was still alive. My memories of him were hazy since he’d died so suddenly when I was only five. Mom always described him as a really sweet and caring man, which is why it always confused me that she could go for a callous and cruel one like Steven. I knew that his money protected us in this town, but it also kept us prisoners in this house. And because everyone here cared so much about appearances, there was no way that either of us were going to tell anyone what was really going on when the doors were closed. I could only hope that one day Steven got so drunk he got alcohol poisoning or got into a fatal accident of some sort. But until then, there’d be no rest until he was gone and Mom was free. Sure, I could run away to college, but what about her?
The thoughts were too much, and I wanted to drown out the pain, but I felt too weak to get up and grab my pre rolled joint. So I simply stared at the ceiling and willed the pain to go away so I could go to school tomorrow and pretend that everything was normal again.
Chapter Nine
Megan
At night I tossed and turned again, unable to sleep for longer than a few minutes before my eyes flew open again. I glanced at my alarm clock and saw that it was 4am. I had to be up in a few hours for school and I already knew that I’d be cranky the next day from not getting enough sleep. I knew that going on my phone would only make it harder for me to go to sleep, but I didn’t want to make too much noise for Mom and Lola, so I stood at my window and watched the wind whistle through the trees.
I craned my neck to look at Austin’s house near the bottom of the street and wondered what he would be doing at this time of the night. All the lights were off and I wondered if he was fast asleep, or maybe out partying like a madman on a school night. I felt a pang in my heart as I thought about him making out with other girls and taking them home to sleep with. What was he like in bed? I could imagine him being quite selfish, but then at the same time, the way that the girls looked at and talked about him at school made me think that he was probably really good in bed. Not that I’d ever find out, of course.
I stifled a yawn, but continued to stare out of the window as I saw movement down below. I rubbed my eyes, but lo and behold it was none other than the same hooded figure I’d seen twice now. This guy was definitely stalking me, there was no doubt about it. This time he was standing outside our mailbox. What the hell did he want? I wasn’t sure if it was adrenaline or curiosity that drove me to throw on my dressing gown and slippers and sneak downstairs, but before I knew it I was unlocking the door and standing outside in the cold.
By the time I’d made it to my mailbox, the guy in the hoody had left, vanished into thin air. I had definitely seen him- this was the third time this week. I’d never had a stalker before, had only heard stories about them. Stories that hadn’t ended well. I thought about calling the police, but I knew Mom would rather me go to her first, and besides, I didn’t have a concrete enough description of the guy so it would be futile at this point.
I decided I should tell someone in the morning, just so I could have another pair of eyes looking out for me to make sure that I wasn’t hallucinating. I read that extreme stress does that to people sometimes. The weird feeling in my gut wouldn’t go away but there was nothing else I could do. My stalker had disappeared. So I went back inside, defeated, probably looking like a crazy person to anyone still awake and went into the kitchen where I made myself a warm drink.
Once I got back to my room, I tucked myself into bed but every time I closed my eyes the image of the stalker was imprinted on my eyelids. I shivered and wrapped my blanket around me tightly, this time it wasn’t because I was cold.
* * *
The next day, I was just as sleep deprived as I’d predicted and wondered if I’d imagined the whole near-encounter with the stalker. But when I glimpsed my comfy slippers at the door, I knew that it had happened. Over the breakfast table, I decided to bring it up to Lola considering it was just the two of us because Mom had gone to work.
“Hey, have you noticed anyone weird lurking around on the street?” I asked before biting into my slice of toast.
“No, should I have noticed someone?” asked Lola, clearly confused.
“I’ve seen a guy a couple of times standing outside,” I said slowly. Lola’s eyebrows shot up.
“A guy?”
“Yeah. And it seems like he’s staring into my window.” Lola scoffed.
“I’m sure he can’t see anything. Besides, what is there to see?” she teased.
“Lola, I’m being serious,” I said, more urgently this time, “what if he’s stalking me?”
Lola shrugged. “I think you’re overreacting, we’ve barely been here a week and I’m sure if one of us were to have a stalker, it wouldn’t be you Meg.” She reapplied her lip gloss and made her way towards the door. “Let’s go, I don’t wanna be late!”
“School doesn’t start for half an hour,” I said, annoyed that she hadn’t taken my concern seriously and even more annoyed that she was rushing me.
“I’m meeting someone before school,” Lola said in a sing song voice.
“Who?”
She shrugged her shoulders and smiled coyly. “Oh, I couldn’t possibly say.”
I racked my brains and groaned. “Please don’t tell me it’s Ross.” Lola whistled playfully and avoided answering. “Lola!”
“I don’t think that’s any of your business! “she said haughtily.
“You’re making it my business because I’m driving you to school and he’s in my year!”
“My bad, I didn’t realise you had dibs on all the boys in you year,” said Lola sarcastically.
I scoffed and decided to ignore her, my toast was much better company anyway. “Make your own way, if you can’t wait to fuck him.”
“I wasn’t going to fuck him,” said Lola in a stroppy tone as she sat on the stairs. Clearly giving up, she pulled out her phone and tapped away like her life depended on it.
* * *
The school day passed quickly, much like the day before- the only difference was that there was no Austin. Anywhere. I expected to see him at lunch, like usual but before Sophie could point out his absence I saw that only Ross and Nate occupied their table. Admittedly, my heart sank not
seeing him there and I couldn’t figure out why. It’s not like we were friends. In fact, we couldn’t be further from that. I had no way to contact him, we’d never exchanged numbers, so I could only assume that tutoring was off for today. Probably for the best since I still wasn’t in the best mood.
“How did tutoring go with Austin by the way?” asked Sophie as we walked to our gym class together. I appreciated that she’d waited until her friends had left the table before bringing him up.
“Urm, it was better than expected. He warmed up after a little bit,” I said with a small smile.
“Do you know why he isn’t in today?”
“No clue,” I said truthfully. “Maybe I was too strict and traumatised him. Sophie laughed as she held the door open for me.
“I’m sure you have a really scary side,” she teased.
* * *
For the next few days, Austin still didn’t show. I was getting worried, even though I had no right to be and was tempted to ask Ross and Nate where their friend was. Luckily, I was saved from embarrassment as I overheard them talking as we walked down the hallway to our next classes.
“You heard from Austin? Coach is getting worried now,” said Ross in a stage whisper. I slowed my pace by a fraction so that I could still hear what they were saying but wouldn’t get suspicious if they turned around and saw me.
“You know what Austin’s like, he does this all the time. Knowing him he’s probably having a booze and fuckfest,” chuckled Nate, Ross joining in.
“The bastard should invite us next time though,” added Ross. He slapped Nate on the back and they both went into the first classroom on the left. I glanced into the classroom before heading into my own on the right and was taken aback to see Austin seated at the back, a weary expression on his face.
“Motherfucker!” said Ross as he bounded over to his friend.
“Language!” warned their teacher, but the response was muffled as someone shut the door of their classroom. Seeing Austin alive alleviated some of the pressure in my chest. Did that mean he was expecting me to tutor him after school? Seeing as it was last period, I decided that I’d wait for him and ask upfront to avoid any embarrassment later.
* * *
It seemed like time dragged on specifically to taunt me, but finally the teacher dismissed us, finally setting us free for the weekend. One week at Valley High and I’d somehow made it in one piece. Just about. I packed my bag slower than everybody else because I didn’t want anyone to see me as too eager if I waited outside the other class. My plan was to casually bump into Austin and then mention the tutoring thing in a calm manner that didn’t sound desperate. I knew I wasn’t desperate, I just needed to make sure that he knew that. My teacher packed up his bag and wished me a good weekend before leaving me alone in the classroom. I peeked over at Austin’s class and saw that it was just him and his teacher left. I couldn’t quite make out what was being said over the noise in the hallway but by Austin’s expression and hand movements I could tell that things were getting quite heated.
Fuck. This hadn’t been part of the plan. Time to improvise. I waited a few more minutes until the hallway had cleared before stationing myself outside the classroom, pretending to be engrossed in my phone. Unfortunately for me, the closer I got to Austin’s classroom, the more clearly I could hear his voice.
“I studied for this test, there’s no way I got a D on it!” I heard him yell.
“Study harder next time,” said his teacher stubbornly, clearly more than ready to leave for the weekend.
“I want you to mark it again,” Austin demanded, as if he was talking to someone his own age as opposed to an adult nearly twice his age.
“Go home, Austin and try better next time,” said his teacher as he packed up his belongings.
I felt so useless just standing outside and it must have been the desperation in Austin’s voice that made me intervene.
“Excuse me, urm sorry for interrupting but do you mind if I look at the test?” I said sheepishly. Austin glared at me while his teacher looked at me with a bemused expression.
“And who are you?” his teacher asked with a slight sneer on his face.
“I’m- I’m Megan,” I said floundering around for a better answer, “I’ve been tutoring Austin.”
“Well I’ve been teaching English for 20 years so I think I know a lot more than you do,” he shot back.
“Let her see it,” said Austin firmly, his eyes still cold as ice. “Or I’ll have to get my parents involved.” His teacher sighed heavily and set down his bag. He took a mark scheme out of one of the pockets and handed it to me. He gestured for Austin to pass me his paper. I took both with shaky hands and set them on the desk in front of me, nervously taking a seat as the gazes of the two men burned holes in my face. Why didn’t I take more time to think before I jumped into situations like this?
I took a deep breath and compared the answers on the mark scheme to the ones that Austin had written. I immediately saw where his teacher had made a few mistakes that had cost his student marks. I withheld this information until I had looked over the whole paper twice.
“It’s a C+,’ I said quietly as I handed the paper back to the teacher.
“What?” the old man spluttered indignantly.
“I’ve circled the errors you’ve made, Austin was right, he didn’t get a D.” I looked over at Austin and was relieved to see a smile spread across his face. His teacher’s eyes scanned the page furiously, but I could tell that he knew I was right by the red that was creeping up his neck.
“I believe I’ve made an error,” he said in a choked voice.
“Megan reckons a few,” Austin said coolly. “I believe you owe us both an apology.” His teacher glared at him over his glasses but quickly swallowed his pride.
“My apologies to both of you. Austin, I’ll change your grade- you’re lucky to have such a good friend. You both have a nice weekend.” And with that, Austin’s teacher shouldered his satchel and left the room- clearly wanting to escape the embarrassment inflicted on him by two students.
“We’re not friends,” said Austin after the door shut behind his teacher.
“I know that,” I muttered under my breath, embarrassment washing over me. This fucking jerk couldn’t quit for even a second. I avoided eye contact as I stood up from my seat.
“Thanks for doing that though,” he added quickly, the sudden acknowledgment taking me by surprise.
“It’s whatever,” I said, holding the door open in one hand. Austin stared at me and clenched his jaw, clearly thinking hard about something- I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what “See ya, I guess.”
“You didn’t forget about tutoring, did you, Virgin?” he said in a smug voice as he walked through the door I was holding open for myself. I frowned at him as I followed him down the hallway.
“Firstly, quit calling me a Virgin, I told you I’m not-” before I could finish my sentence, Austin had pushed me up against a locker, his hands pinning my arms above my head. His lips brushed against my ear and I shivered as he bit my earlobe.
“When I take you, which I will,” he purred, making my heart race a million miles a minute as I struggled against his strong grip. “I’m going to break you in and it’s going to feel like your first time,” Austin growled, his eyes flashing with ravenous desire. My gaze dropped to his lips and I wanted nothing more than for them to meet with mine.
Normally, I would have been worried about someone seeing us- I hated public displays of anything, I found them too embarrassing- but in that moment, all I could think about was the wetness growing between my thighs and I knew Austin could sense it too. He released my arms, allowing them to fall back to my sides and chuckled darkly.
“What were you saying?” he said nonchalantly, as if he hadn’t just threatened to fuck the shit out of me. I cleared my throat and looked away from him, shame setting in once again, I was so glad that the hallway was empty and there had been no one to see us.