by Ivy Blake
“Can you give me a timeframe of how long the stalking has been going on for?” asked the police officer. I thought about the first time that I had seen the stalker and how freaked out and confused I’d been.
“It’s been about a month, I think,” I said nervously, my hands shaking in my lap. I hated being interrogated, it made me feel like I’d done something wrong and that I had to prove to the officer why I needed his help even though it was already very clear why.
“I see,” he said as he scribbled away in his notepad. “Has he made any more contact, tried to talk to you or hurt you or anything like that?”
“No,” I said shortly, suddenly feeling lame.
“But it’s still really concerning because we don’t know who this guy is!” Sophie exclaimed.
“I understand that, but this kind of thing is quite common and we wouldn’t want to waste any resources on something that might turn out to be… inconsequential,” the officer said slowly. I felt like I had a frog in my throat.
“Are you kidding me?” said Sophie, her voice getting louder as she grew more passionate.
“How many times have women gone to the cops because some creepy guy was stalking or harassing them, they’ve done nothing and the woman has ended up dead?” I jumped as Sophie’s hand landed on the table, cementing her point. She was right, there were countless stories in the news about shit like that happening. I never thought that I would ever find myself caught in such a situation, but here I was.
The officer cleared his throat and set his notebook down, flexing his fingers, a bored expression on his face.
“If you want my honest opinion- I say it’s probably someone you know,” he said pointedly. His eyes burned into mine and I had to look away quickly because he made me feel uncomfortable.
“What do you mean it’s someone we know?” asked Sophie.
“Exactly that,” said the officer impatiently. “Do you have any ex-boyfriends or lovers that might have a reason to stalk you?” he said, turning to me.
I shook my head, adamant that none of the guys I’d ever had intimate relationships with would stoop to this level.
“No,” I said quickly, then Max and Austin’s faces flashed in my mind. They’d been the only guys who had put me in such compromising positions, who’d made me feel incredibly weak and helpless. Could either of them be my stalker? Austin had far less reason to, but Max on the other hand…
“You sure you don’t have any idea of someone who might want to hurt you?” the officer pressed. “Someone who you might have rejected in the past?” Again Max’s head swam into view but I shook my head clear of it. It didn’t make sense for it to be him, and I didn’t want to give the officer his name in case it wasn’t and then I was even more fucked.
“No, I don’t, that’s why I’m so confused. What do you think they want?” I asked. The officer shrugged and shut his notebook.
“I can’t tell you that I’m afraid. I doubt your description is going to lead us to someone specific, seeing as it’s so vague.” He ran his hand over his face, his boredom now fully apparent.
“Just call in if anything else happens, okay?”
“That’s it?” said Sophie, her arms folded over her chest, signalling that she was not impressed.
“It’s okay Sophie,” I said touching her arm, “I knew this would happen, let’s just go.”
“If this guy does anything, you guys are gonna pay for it,” Sophie hissed as we left the room. The police officer, who probably got thousands of threats a day, simply bid us goodbye, his back still turned to us.
“Fucking asshole!” exclaimed Sophie once we’d found our way back to the car.
“Aren’t they all?”
“He was especially shitty, and smelly too!” We squealed as I drove Sophie back home.
“I really appreciate you coming with me,” I said, “even if we didn’t get any closer to figuring out who this guy is or what he wants.”
“Please buy some bear spray or carry a pen knife or something,” Sophie begged, her eyes wide with concern.
“I swear I could get in trouble for that!”
“Would you rather get a police warning or get hurt?” Sophie raised her eyebrow and I sighed, realising she’d made a point.
“Fine,” I said, making a mental note to pass by the camping shop in town to look for some bear spray. That didn’t mean I’d have the balls to buy it though.
“Thank you!” Sophie beamed at me and pulled me into her arms and hugged me tightly.
“Also be careful with Austin too.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, pulling out of her embrace. Sophie chewed on her bottom lip as my stomach turned in on itself.
“Not to burst your bubble, but now that you guys have slept together, don’t be surprised if he moves onto the next exciting thing,” she said quietly. “No offence.”
“None taken,” I shot back, even though the tightness of my chest suggested otherwise. “I think you’re being harsh.”
Sophie raised her hands up in surrender. “I’m just trying to be a good friend, okay? Just preparing you for the worst-”
“I think I can handle myself,” I said defensively.
“I know you can,” said Sophie gently. “Look, all I’m saying is that I’m here, no matter what happens.” She squeezed my shoulder one last time before heading inside. “Call me straight away if anything happens with the stalker,” she called from her doorstep.
“Will do,” I said, waving her goodbye before she shut the door.
As I drove away, my mind worked overtime. What if Sophie was right and Austin would lose interest in me now that he’d gotten what he wanted out of me? I thought back to the hug we’d shared before I’d left for the station. Would it be so crazy to imagine that he was just being polite? Sophie had known Austin for much longer than I had, even if it was from afar, so maybe her worries weren’t unfounded.
My brain felt scrambled from all the things that had happened today. I wanted to be free to do what I wanted without having to worry about a stalker or worry about whether or not I was putting myself at risk of getting hurt by Austin. As I drove past Austin’s house and towards mine I felt a flutter in my stomach. Austin had knocked me down time and time again and yet today he had saved me and proven how gentle he could actually be.
I would never have had the courage to admit to Sophie that I thought for a brief moment, a few moments actually, that Austin’s icy exterior had melted and that he was actually letting me in. Having sex with him had felt like a mutual exchange, something we had done together, not something he had taken from me. I had willingly allowed him to take off my clothes, willingly allowed him to put himself inside me and it had felt good. Really good. The only problem was that I was too scared to see what was right in front of me, to voice my feelings because that meant being vulnerable, which never seemed to work out for me.
I couldn’t quite figure out how we’d gotten here and while I couldn’t read Austin’s mind, I was privy to all my own thoughts. Especially the ones fixated on Austin and the ones that worried about losing him.
How could I worry about losing someone that wasn’t mine?
I stepped my foot on the break hard as I nearly slammed into the wall, my brain occupied with a confusing assortment of thoughts. It was in that moment that I realised what I’d been denying all along. Austin Hunter had stolen more than my attention. He seemed to have stolen my heart too.
Chapter Nineteen
Austin
I’d sent numerous texts to my mom and she still hadn’t replied. It had been nearly a week since I’d last seen her and I was beginning to get seriously worried.
“Have your parents heard anything from my mom?” I asked Nate as we sat in his car.
“Nothing at all, you know I would have told you, man,” said Nate with a sad expression on his face.
“I know, I’m just panicking,” I said truthfully.
I closed my eyes and sat back in my seat, thinking of the be
st way forward. I’d realised a little too late that I’d left my birth certificate and passport at the house like a fucking idiot. When I’d called Nate the other day, we’d been in such a rush to sneak out that I’d left some of the most important things. There was no way that Steven was going to hand them over without a fight, which is why I knew that the only way to get them was to sneak in and do it myself.
“I still can’t believe that this shit has been going on for years,” said Nate as he started the engine.
“Yup,” I said shortly.
It had been hard telling Nate, but he’d listened quietly as I gave him the run-down of the abusive-tyrant-stepdad situation. He had reacted better than I expected. I felt bad that I’d thought Nate wouldn’t believe me for even a second. I was worried that his parents relationship with mine would cloud his ability to see the truth, but I often forgot that Nate wasn’t like that. No one told him what to do or how to think. That was one of the ways that we were most similar.
“Are you sure that you don’t want to call the police to the house, just in case?” he asked, making a fair point, but I knew it would be pointless.
“It would just be my word against his. Mom isn’t here so she can’t back me up and there isn’t enough evidence,” I said even though I knew there were other ways to get the cops on my side.
“I’ll back you up, I don’t care!” exclaimed Nate as he edged around the corner.
“I don’t want to involve you any more than I already have,” I said truthfully, going quiet as I spotted my house. Or should I say, my old house. It was sad that I was having to give up the place that I grew up, the place I was born, for this jackass. But if it meant that I could breathe another day, it was 100% worth it.
“Austin, I’ve got your back, no matter what, okay? We’re gonna get through this, no matter what it takes.”
I smiled at Nate, my best friend, my brother, appreciative for all the help and support he’d given me so far. I hadn’t gone into much depth about the extent of Steven’s abuse, but Nate was smart enough to put two and two together to realise that my frequent absences from school weren’t entirely by choice.
“Only a few more months until we’re off to college anyway, and I can forget this damn town,” I said as my eyes rested on Megan’s house. Of course I didn’t want to forget her, but I hadn’t allowed myself to think that far ahead, I could only take things day by day or it would be too overwhelming.
“Any idea where you’re gonna end up?” asked Nate as we parked on the road opposite my old house.
“Not a clue,” I lied.
I had a few ideas in mind, some close by, others that required cross country travel. It really depended on which colleges offered me scholarships- or if any offered them to me at all. I vowed to myself that I’d pay more attention in class for the next few months and my next tutoring sessions with Megan or else it all would have been a waste of time. Not the tutoring sessions of course. But it was easy to lose sight of your dreams when there was a massive grey cloud following you everywhere.
“You know my parents aren’t going to chase you out, right?” said Nate, turning off the engine. “You can stay as long as you need. Remember, they’re closer to your mom than Steven. And they’ve always liked her more,” he added with a wink, trying to lighten the mood before we embarked on this crazy mission.
“I appreciate it,” I said, my voice trailing off as I caught sight of Megan taking her bins out. She was dressed in cute little shorts which made her ass and legs look amazing. Nate followed my gaze and punched me in the arm once he realised where it lead.
“You’re fucking the new girl, aren’t you!” he exclaimed, his voice taking on a playful tone.
“What?” I blurted out.
He hadn’t been in the house when we were having sex the other day had he? While Nate and I shared a lot of things and had crossed many boundaries that most friends didn’t, there was no way in hell that I would be comfortable with him hearing me and Megan fucking. That was different.
“Dude, we have CCTV cameras outside the house, remember?” he winked at me. “I saw you invited her over for a little play date.”
I groaned at myself for my forgetfulness, but was secretly relieved that he hadn’t heard us going at it.
“So what’s going on with you guys, was it a one-time thing or nah?”
“I honestly don’t know, Nate. Shit is mad confusing right now.”
“Just be careful with that one,” he said, nodding to Megan as she walked back inside, closing the door behind her.
“What do you mean?” I asked curiously, looking at him to try and discern the meaning from his words.
“She doesn’t seem like your typical girl. I feel like she might go psycho on you when you fuck her over.”
“Who said I’m gonna fuck her over?” I said defensively.
“Dude, c’mon,” said Nate, his eyebrows raised. “You kinda have a track record.”
He was right, I did. But somehow, this felt different. By this point with any other girl, they’d already be off the radar, yet here I was still fixated on Megan even after we hooked up. It was no surprise that Nate assumed that I would eventually resort to my old ways.
“I’m just seeing how things go,” I said nonchalantly, even though I wasn’t quite sure where I wanted things to go. All I knew was that what I felt for Megan, I’d never felt for anyone else before. Would I eventually end up hurting her? I couldn’t be sure if it was just a part of who I am, like Nate suggested, or if it was a conscious decision on my part. Either way, I didn’t have time to think about it right now, the house was empty and I had to strike.
“If you hear me start the engine, get your ass out of that house- okay?” said Nate after we went over the plan.
“I’ll be out,” I assured him as I climbed out of the car, slinging my backpack over my shoulder. I had a cap on in an attempt to look less suspicious, when it probably made me stand out more. I put my key in the door, surprised that it still slid in perfectly since I was half expecting Steven to have changed the locks already.
The house was eerily quiet, as if it had been abandoned for days. I didn’t have the time to stop and question it because time was already tight. I ran up the stairs, not bothering to take off my shoes as usual as I headed straight to my Mom’s room where I knew my personal documents would be.
She had always been persistent about holding onto them herself, worried that I’d lose them if I wasn’t careful. I looked through her drawers, many of them were empty, which was unsurprising, until I found the drawers with my stuff in it. Underneath the file with my stuff was a photo from my first day at kindergarten. I had a big goofy grin on my face, and as I looked at the picture I began to feel a deep sadness for the boy in the picture. Little did he know that his life was going to take a detour. I tucked it into my folder and closed the door quietly, shutting the bedroom door behind me before heading to my room.
I picked up a few sentimental things but decided that Steve could deal with the rest and said goodbye to my room. I’d spent so many sleepless nights in there hiding away from Steve or trying to drown out the noise as he shouted at Mom and put his hands on her. I shuddered and while I was sad, I was glad to be having a fresh start somewhere else.
I walked to the stairs and stopped as I saw a figure standing at the bottom of them. I nearly dropped my bags from the shock as I found myself staring down at Steve. I was confused as hell. Nate hadn’t turned on the engine or messaged me to signal his arrival, so how had he managed to catch me off guard without me realising?