by Bailey Rock
“I was kidding, sorry. No dog. No kids. Just this great girl I don’t want to let go. Hate to see her go but love to watch her leave. You know.”
I did know. I felt the same way about him, but now I needed to get Liv. “I’ll call you, thanks.”
He doesn’t let me leave without pulling me in for a long kiss that draws attention of his secretary. She clears her throat after a minute and he pulls back to smile at her. “She’s the best, right?” Then, turning back to me, “be safe. Let me know if you need anything. I mean it, Maggie. I just found you and I don’t want to risk losing you.”
I nod and start down the sidewalk to Liv’s school. Even though it’s cold out, I know that I can make good time as long as I don’t stop. School isn’t out for a few hours, but I don’t want to risk Damien going to the school and trying to get her.
Once I have Liv, I can take her to my mom’s. After that I can talk to someone about getting a restraining order.
Suddenly, trying to handle all of this on my own feels very silly. I slow down as I pass the bakery when I think that I see Damien standing on the corner. It’s not him, of course, he’s probably under the rock where he lives, icing his jaw where Lance punched him, but I’m on edge.
Luckily, I’m able to get Liv from school without any problems. She’s thrilled that I would take her out early so we could play with my mom. It’s not the whole truth, by any stretch, but that doesn’t matter.
We open the door and, just as I knew she would, my mom’s there.
“Nonna!” Liv screeches, giving her a fast hug and then running past her into the house.
My mom leans on the doorframe and looks at me. “What’s going on, Maggie? You look stressed. Is Liv okay?”
I should have called her and given her a heads-up, but talking about the problem will only make it more real.
“It’s Damien. He’s in town and wants to see Liv, so I needed to bring her somewhere safe where I knew he couldn’t get to her while I went to the police. Will you keep an eye on her, Mom?”
“Of course. She can stay here as long as you need. Love you.” When she hugs me, she doesn’t let go for a moment, until I pull back.
“Everything okay?” She has a funny look on her face. It’s a smile. My mom is not a huge smiler, and there’s nothing to be happy about right now.
“You smell like sex. Good luck with the police.” With that, she laughs and shuts the door, leaving me standing on her front step.
I smell like sex. Wait until I tell Julie about this one. She’s going to love it, except the part where I had sex with her brother. I shake my head and walk down my mom’s stairs. Julie and Lance really need to make up.
***
“So, your mom knew right away that we had sex? Oh, shit. Does she remember me from high school?”
“Of course, she remembers you,” I tell Lance, pressing the phone to my ear while slowly walking around the house and double-checking that all of the doors and windows are locked. It’s a habit that I picked up when Damien and I stopped dating, and one that drives my mom nuts, but keeps us safe. So far, anyway. “I told her when I picked Liv up that it was you and she was impressed. She said you were always hot, so that’s pretty gross.”
“Eh, it’s just nice to know that I was appreciated. And tell me again, getting the restraining order was no big deal?”
“No, it was fine.” I collapse into a chair in the living room. Liv is passed out in her room, happy after spending the afternoon with my mom, and I’m exhausted. Today has been hard, and I have to get up and start baking early tomorrow morning to make up for today’s lost time. “They were really friendly and gave me everything I needed. Although, one officer did pull me aside when I was about to leave and told me that I need to file for custody before Damien got it in his mind to first.”
“Custody? That’s ridiculous. He’s never been part of her life. Hell, didn’t you say that he’s not even on her birth certificate?”
I nod, even though he can’t see me. “Yeah, that’s right, but this officer said that custody fights can get really terrible, especially when one parent thinks that they deserve to see the child. That’s Damien. He thinks that he deserves everything in life, even though he’s not willing to work for it.”
“Yeah, he’s a prick. So, what’s holding you back from doing this?”
I hesitate, because I know what he’ll say if I tell him the truth. As much as I like to think that I can handle anything that life throws my way on my own, I know that it isn’t true. I just don’t want Liv, or anyone else, to find out all of the truth.
Liv was sick as a baby. Like, really, really sick. If she’d been older, she would have been a Make-A-Wish kid, and we probably would have gone to Disney or something. Instead, though, I sat by her bed in the ICU, praying every single day that she would wake up. That she would walk. That she wouldn’t continue to have tumors growing along her spine.
And, like a miracle, I got what I prayed for. It was worth every second, every tear, and all the time.
It was really expensive, but she was worth it. I don’t regret a single penny that I spent on her treatment and that I continue to spend to make sure that she stays healthy. Twice yearly tests add up, but they’re worth the peace of mind.
The only problem is that all of the tests have drained me.
Setting up the bakery took the last of the money I had. There’s literally nothing left in my account right now, and after my dad died, I know that mom doesn’t have any money to help me, either. I could ask her for help, and I’m sure that she would give me whatever she had, but I can’t do that to her.
My mom was right beside me in the ICU every single day. She’s done enough.
Lance can obviously tell that there’s something really wrong, even though I’m doing my best to try to hide that I have a problem. “Mags. Is it the money?”
I’m silent, trying to figure out how he knows that.
“I know that setting up the bakery can’t have been cheap. Add to that any bills from culinary school and the fact that you and your mom live together and I’m sure that money is tight.”
I close my eyes. How the hell did he find out that my mom and I live together? Julie.
“Let me help you will the bill, Mags. You’re worth it. She’s worth it.”
I’ve never relied on someone other than my parents for help like this. Well, that’s not entirely true. Julie and I have always been there for each other, and my brother has always been just a call away, but he lives in Europe and is ten years older. It’s not like we have a lot in common. In fact, I haven’t seen Alex since we were little. A huge age gap can make things difficult.
“I can’t ask you to do that.” When I find my voice, I say the one thing that I knew I would, even when I heard him first offer. “I don’t do charity.”
“It’s not charity. Don’t be so stubborn.”
He’s right. I’m stubborn. It’s served me well all of my life and I’ve never let myself down. Being stubborn and self-sufficient has always been something that I’ve prided myself on. When my car broke down a few years ago on the side of the road? I’m the one who worked under the hood and fixed it. The time that Liv fell from a tree and broke her arm the same day that I had a culinary final? I don’t know how I juggled everything, but I got her taken care of and still passed my course.
“Or handouts. I don’t do handouts, either.”
This time, I think I’ve pushed him too far. I can hear the exasperation in his voice, and I immediately regret what I said.
“Fine, Maggie. You don’t want my help? That’s fine. Just call me when you do decide what you want from me, okay? You know where to find me.”
The sound of silence is deafening when he hangs up. My mom hears me throw my phone across the room to the sofa and comes in from the kitchen, carrying two mugs of tea.
“Sounds like you need some tea, Maggie. You okay?”
“I need some brains, mom, but tea sounds good.”
Tha
t’s all we say to each other for the rest of the evening, and in under an hour I’m in bed, Hemingway purring at my feet and kneading a patch of my quilt before he finally settles down for the night.
Chapter 9
Lance
Maggie and I haven’t talked about how she’s going to afford to get full custody of Liv, but our double date is tonight, and I’m hoping that later we can discuss it. First, though, I need to handle the feisty woman sitting across from me at the table.
Julie is over for breakfast.
Now seems like as good a time as any to bury the hatchet we have between the two of us, especially since we’re going out tonight on a double date. Especially because I’m in love with her best friend. That’s kind of an issue, too.
Even though she looks calm, I can tell that she’s stressed. Her left leg keeps shaking, but then she stops it, like she remembers that she’s supposed to be in control. I made a pot of coffee before she got here, and she stopped by Blue Sky to get some muffins.
They’re chocolate, and Maggie stuck an éclair in the box, as well. Good to know that we’re not fighting. I reached for it when Julie opened the box and put it on the table between us, but she glared at me, and I grabbed a muffin, instead.
“Éclair? For breakfast? That’s not how we were raised, Lance.”
This is off to a wonderful start. I eye my sister cautiously, like one does with a wild animal. I’m not sure that she and I will ever be really close, but we have to try. She’s the most important person in Maggie’s life, and apparently has a great relationship with Liv, too.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. Hey, thanks for coming this morning. I’m sure that you have other things you’d rather be doing.” The look of surprise on her face made apologizing worth it. My dad always said that people just want to be seen and appreciated. I could do better with putting that into practice with the people in my life.
For a moment, I can imagine that we’re back in high school, the two of us enjoying breakfast before I drove her and Maggie to school.
But then it fades and we’re both grown up. There are a lot of years between now and high school, as well as a lot of heartache and problems.
“Thanks for finding me a date for ice skating. You want to tell me about Ian?” Julie takes a huge bite of a muffin and chases it with coffee, if you can call it coffee. It’s some sort of a bastardized version filled with cream, sugar, and flavor. She had to bring her own cream and flavor syrup this morning to breakfast, since I won’t keep the shit in the house.
I’m a black coffee guy all the way.
“Ian. Yeah. He’s a good guy. Not only does he actually have a job, but I think he’ll like you, so that’s good. He’s not put off by totally abrasive personalities.”
I’m not sure if I’ve pushed it too far with Julie, but I’m rewarded with a smile.
“I got my shit personality from my big brother. Tell me more.”
Good, we can get through this.
“He’s a high school science teacher. Super smart guy. Loves his job and is one of those people who will do anything he can to help out someone else. Let’s see, has a dog, I think, but no kids. Never been married.”
“He’s sounding better and better. Where did you meet him?”
This is where it’s going to get tricky.
“We met a few years ago. After mom and dad’s funeral.”
Yep, just as I thought would happen, her face grows darker and I can feel that she’s shutting off from me. This is the weak point in our relationship. It’s what everything hinges on, and since it’s all my fault that we’re not as close as we used to be, it still sucks.
“When you were on your drinking binge across America? That time after the funeral? Or when you didn’t help me clean out their house because you were too busy living on a boat?” She sets her coffee mug down on the table, her nostrils flaring.
She’s pissed, and she has every right to be. Just when she needed me the most, I left her. I couldn’t handle what happened with my parents, so I left her to be the one picking up all of the pieces. Well, her and Maggie. I know that this is about when they started to get close.
It hits me.
My parents died right around the time Maggie would have been getting close with Damien. If I hadn’t left town, not only would I have been able to help Julie, but I would have been able to be there for Maggie. With Maggie.
But then she wouldn’t have Liv.
My head hurts and I take a huge gulp of coffee, sputtering a little because it’s so hot. Julie doesn’t flinch or ask me if I’m okay. I don’t blame her.
“I fucked up. I’m so, so sorry, Julie. I should have been there. I shouldn’t have left town like I did. It was a shitty thing to do and I understand why you hate me for it.”
“I don’t hate you, dumbass. I hate what you did. I hated how you left me alone to pick up all of the pieces of our lives by myself. I hated that I had to deal with missing mom and dad while you just went off drinking. It sucked. You sucked. Sometimes you still do.”
She’s right, of course.
“But,” she continues, her voice a bit softer, “I know that people can change, and maybe you have. If anyone can make you into a better person, it will be Maggie. She’s incredible, Lance, and so is Liv, so you better not fuck this up. I know it’s your MO.”
“It was my MO,” I correct her, getting up to refill our mugs. “But that’s not who I am anymore, and it’s certainly not what I want from life.”
“Great, big brother. That’s great. But then tell me, what do you want from life?”
That’s easy. I feel like my life up to this point has been practice, but now I’m finally going to be able to live my real life. I just am not entirely sure how to tell Julie what I want without her thinking that I’m crazy.
“I’ve changed. I want a family, and that means you. I want our relationship back, Julie, and I’m willing to work hard to make that happen. I also want to be with Maggie. She and Liv are a package deal, and I want everything that that has to offer.”
Leaning back in the chair, I take a look around my house. It’s gorgeous, modern and updated, but cold. There’s nothing comfortable here. I have expansive views of a huge backyard, but no kids playing in it. There’s room in the woods for a giant treehouse, and plenty of bedrooms for family to come stay with me.
Up until this week, I never thought that I would have family who would want to come stay with me. I never thought that I was worth it.
“I want family. I want to fill this house with family and friends and grow my company but not let it rule my life anymore. I’ve made enough to retire, Julie, and although I don’t want to do that, I could cut back. I want Maggie to have a huge bakery and all of the staff she needs, and I want Liv to be happy.”
“First you need to meet Liv.”
“I do, but if she’s anything like her mother, I’m sure that I’ll love her.”
Reconciliation is exhausting, and I remember now why I ran from it for so long after our parents died. The last thing I ever wanted to do was bear my soul to another person, but it’s the only way I can connect with Julie. It’s the only way to Maggie.
“Alright. I’ll go with you on this double date, although to hear Maggie talk, you guys don’t need me there as a buffer. But just remember, dumbass, I’m watching.”
I expect nothing less. Now that we’ve had our talk and hashed some things out, I feel better. Nothing is perfect between the two of us, but it’s less acrimonious.
Picking up the éclair, I offer her a bite, but she just shakes her head and rolls her eyes. Whatever, her loss. When I take a bite of it and the smooth cream shoots into my mouth, I picture the way Maggie ran her tongue up the side of it.
I’ve never had anyone get under my skin like Maggie Ward. I know I can’t plan out the rest of my life, but I’m determined to make that woman my wife.
Maggie
Saturday night is not the best night to go ice skating unless you want to go wit
h half the town. This is it as far as entertainment goes in the dead of winter. Unless you want to go sit in the dark at the movie theater, risk dying of exposure when hiking, or possibly fall into a frozen lake while ice fishing, ice skating is the hot place to be.
It doesn’t hurt that the staff here is really generous with the marshmallows when they make hot chocolate.
Lance and I get to the rink before Ian and Julie, so we rent our skates and are lacing up by the time they both arrive. They come from different directions, and spot us at the same time, heading over to say hi.
Even though Julie told me that she wasn’t expecting much from this date, she sure put some effort into it. She has on a thick gray sweater that perfectly sets off her light green eyes and jeans so tight they could be painted on. Her dark hair is up in a high ponytail, showing off her neck, and she has in small diamond studs that glint in the lights above the rink.
We’re chatting as Ian walks up, but I can see her checking him out, and for good reason. He’s not as hot as Lance, but he looks strong, and his jawline would make a nun wet. His thick dark hair is pushed back from his face, and he has on a peacoat, which he sheds to show off strong arms and a great ass.
I grin at Julie, and she walks over to introduce herself. Ian’s eyes rake over her body and she grins, tossing her ponytail and resting her hand on his arm.
“Looks like you made a good choice with Ian,” I tell Lance as we finish tying out skates. He reaches out for my hand and helps me to my feet. “Your sister is turning on all of the charm.”
“She deserves a good guy.” Lance wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me in to him for support. Normally I wouldn’t want someone to support me, but things with Lance are different. I’m okay with the idea of him supporting me.
But then why am I so reluctant to let him help me when I need money?
He’s the youngest millionaire that our hometown has ever had, and even though he doesn’t flaunt his money, you can see it in the way he dresses and the car he drives. I’d never been in a Tesla before tonight when he picked me up, but I could easily get used to the heated seats.