On the Rox

by Addams, Kat

  “I’ve also never been able to step out of my comfort zone. I’m afraid to take risks, and I like to play it safe. I don’t like sharing feelings or being vulnerable, like most men I know. Still, no excuse. I think my fear of opening up is one of the reasons my ex cheated on me and broke my heart. I’d broken hers without meaning to. She wanted more from me than I could give. After my parents passed in their accident, it woke me up. I traveled the world, hoping to throw myself into fear and take risks, so it would somehow fix my relationships in the future. That I would be fearless and I could take on anything, much less feelings. I wouldn’t be cautious, going forward. But I was cautious. On the entirety of my trip, I was still me and still cautious. Especially now. I’m terrified something bad will happen to someone that I love. Like an accident or something. Like what happened to my parents. I was close to them. I don’t want to lose anyone else. I have a feeling deep down in the pit of my stomach that I merely exist these days when what I really want … and need … is to live.”

  My heart raced faster than it had when we ran from Monster Squirrel. If I had known this was all it would take to get Jay to talk, I would have brought him into the forest sooner.

  “You’re still not scaring me away,” I said, shaking my head.

  “What if I said that I feel like I’m living when I’m with you? That you are outside of my comfort zone and you make me feel alive and excited and like I want to share myself with you? I want to share it all with you. I want to be with you. I feel like I’ve known you my whole life. You want to talk about divine intervention? After traveling the world, I know there’s something bigger out there, helping us along. I believe in it all. I believe we met for a reason. I want this to keep going and hopefully turn into something more. Does that scare you away?” He peeled himself off of me and held me at arm’s length, searching my eyes.

  My chest tightened, and I wanted to run back down that hill, all the way home, into my five-star hotel bedroom so I could hide under the covers. No man had ever said anything like that to me before. I wanted to cry, scream, melt, and marry him, all in that instant. I wanted him to know that I felt the exact same way, but I was a hypocrite who also had trouble opening up, and I was terrified of losing him in one way or another too.

  “Still doesn’t scare me,” I lied.

  Seven

  Jay

  “You told her about your irrational fear of squirrels?” Aiden raised his eyebrows and motioned for Terrance to refill our glasses.

  It had been another hectic day and late night at Scarlett Herb.

  “I hadn’t planned on telling her. It just so happened that there was a squirrel there, staring at us getting frisky, and I freaked out!” I picked up my drink and circled my wrist, listening to the giant ice cube clink against the glass.

  I’d recounted my time with Rox to Aiden, leaving out the fact that I had freaked out so bad that I came instantly in my pants, just like the time Rox had peeked into my window.

  “So, you like her—a lot. I can tell. I haven’t seen you this way before. But there’s something you’re itching to ask me too. I know it. Spill it.” Aiden clinked his glass to mine and waited.

  “I am going to bring her here to dine, and I want to make her night magical. I get the feeling she hasn’t been spoiled in a very long time.”

  Ever, I thought.

  “Easy-peasy. Is she bringing Layla?” Aiden asked.

  “Or Betty?” Terrance chimed in.

  “No, nope. None of that. It’s only Rox. It’s a night for her. You guys can make your own dates with them. I’m just asking for your help in making this night perfect. Next Friday. This weekend, we are heading to Westy’s. So, it will need to be next.”

  “Westy’s?” Aiden asked. “Isn’t that the sketchy amusement park way over there past the state line? I thought you didn’t like to ride rides. Did you try them on your travels or something?”

  “Aye, that’s it. It’s a bit of a drive, so I’ll probably get us a room or something there. I’ll ask her. The amusement park was all her idea though. You know I can’t stomach that stuff. But I will for her.” I tipped back my drink and finished it.

  “Okay. Well, good luck. We will get to work on next Friday. Any menu requests?”

  “Carbs. Also, Vegemite.” I crossed my arms and leaned back in my chair. These bar chairs had cost more than six months’ rent from my first apartment.

  “That’s not going to get you laid,” Aiden muttered.

  “I want more than that anyway.” I smiled, thinking about Rox’s tattooed raven spreading its wings and flying off.

  “Whatever you say.” Aiden shook his head.

  “I say, another whiskey, please. On the rocks.” I held my drink up to Terrance for a refill.

  “On the rocks.” He grinned. “You got it, boss.”

  After we had decided that we would stay a night in a hotel nearby Westy’s, I had packed my suitcase and set it by the front door, ready to take anything that Rox could throw at me. I hoped she would throw herself at me.

  The last two nights, I had waited up to hear that familiar car door slam so that I knew she was home safe. She’d become more distant since I bit the bullet and told her how I thought we had met for a reason. Divine intervention sounded like a bunch of hoopla to me, too, but it was real.

  Countless times, I had seen or experienced things that I couldn’t explain. Traveling the world had given me a new perspective on that at least. I still had to trust myself too. I couldn’t leave it all in the hands of the stars.

  I stared into the dark, thinking of how I would get through tomorrow’s thrilling adventure. I had packed ginger chews in case I had motion sickness, and I also packed Advil in case a stress headache hit me. Two pairs of underwear and some foot sprinkling for fresh soles in my shoes later, and I became a walking geriatric ward.

  I flipped my pillow to the other side, cooling my face against the silken pillowcase. If Rox were here, I would probably sleep like the dead. Living next door to her was a blessing and a curse. I loved being close to her, but I hated her late nights at the shelter or wherever she was. I just wanted and needed her safe. Anxiety, worry, and bad dreams had kept me up at night ever since my parents’ accident, and now, with Rox becoming such a source of light in my life, I didn’t need her snuffed out too. I worried about her at the shelter. I didn’t know much about her ex, Tommy, but I knew enough to feel that he wasn’t someone I would ever want nearby her again.

  I closed my eyes as I heard her car pull into her drive. The slammed door rang out throughout the night. I breathed a sigh of relief, and within moments, I fell asleep.

  The next morning, I brought Rox the coffee she loved. She was already loading her car as I walked over and began to help.

  “What’s this? Your medicine bag? Would you like a walker too?” Rox asked, eyeballing my literal medicine bag.

  “It’s in case we get sick on the rides or something. There’s a first aid kit in there too. I come prepared.” I shrugged, suddenly feeling eighty-two.

  “We’re going to ride roller coasters, not fight an epidemic overseas. Do y’all have that over there? Crazy diseases to match your crazy wildlife?” She set my bag in the backseat of her tiny car and pulled me in for a kiss.

  “Heaps of them! Like the Australian fuck flu,” I whispered into her lips.

  “Mmm … so glad you don’t have that, and we can get frisky without getting risky! Let’s go!” She slapped my ass and hopped into her car.

  I walked around to the passenger side and slid in beside her.

  I had looked up Westy’s on the map the day before to check the drive time. Three hours. Three hours would be a perfect opportunity to show Rox my love for Australian rap music. Maybe she would love it too. I had meticulously planned out a playlist and hoped she was game to give it a try. I would sell it as part of the treaty.

  “I thought you might like to try something else new. No squirrels or cardio involved this time.” I strapped in and braced
myself as she veered out of her driveway and hit the road.

  “What’s up? I’m down for anything. Today is going to be off the chain!” She grabbed the steering wheel and pulsated her body.

  “Off the chain. Good. We are on the same page. I have some Australian rap music if you’d like to hear it. It’s some of my favorite tunes. Can I connect to your Bluetooth in here?”

  “You don’t even have to ask. Fire it up. What do y’all rap about anyway? Koalas’ chlamydia rates and those damn kangaroos?” She eased onto the interstate and leaned back, settling into her seat.

  “No! Did you read about that? Those damn koalas are trouble. Kangaroos too. We rap about a lot of things. The struggle is as real there just as it is here.” I fumbled around in my phone settings before finding the right connection and pushing play.

  The music blasted through the car stereo. I tapped my fingers across my knee in rhythm with my favorite rap artists, bobbing my head and slanging drugs in my mind. I let three songs play before I lowered the volume and shot her a quizzical look.

  “Pretty badass, isn’t it?” I fist-pumped the air. I had no idea what that was, but I had seen Americans do it once years ago.

  “Yeah. Yep. Badass.” She nodded. Her lips pressed into a thin line as she held back whatever she felt.

  “For real? You didn’t like it! I can tell! You’re choking back car sickness or disgust for my taste in music. Either way, I brought meds for that.” I shook my head and put my phone down in my lap.

  “I think I’ve found something we don’t agree on. It wasn’t bad! Maybe it will grow on me in time. I like rap, but I prefer rock. Here, listen. This is what I like. Let’s kick this day off and get wild.” She tapped the screen in front of her and pulled up a playlist titled Rock Out with Your Vag Out, scrolling through it until she landed on “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll” by Joan Jett & the Blackhearts. She turned the volume up high enough to rattle the windows.

  I nodded my head in agreement, ready to get wild with her. I could listen to this type of music. I had to gear myself up for roller coasters, tattoos, and sharing my feelings in poetry anyway. The edgy music worked to ease my way into this wild ride I’d somehow gotten myself into.

  I watched her, mesmerized, as she belted out every lyric to the top of her lungs. Her lips parted wide in song, like a songbird—my raven. We raced toward Westy’s in a melody of excitement and badassery. She took a breather in between songs and glanced over at me, catching me in my trance. When I caught her eye, she put her fist in the air, pinkie and index finger raised and stuck her tongue out over her knuckles. My cock thickened in my pants at the sight of her tongue. I knew she could probably do amazing things with it.

  I stuck my fist in the air, parting my lips and returning the gesture.

  Rock on.

  We arrived at Westy’s shortly after they opened. With Rox’s speedy driving skills and only a quick stop through a drive-through for breakfast, we made quicker time than I’d thought we would. Much quicker. Too quick. The sight of a great roller coaster toward the back of the park turned my legs into Jell-O.

  “You’re as pale as a ghost.” Rox laughed, handing me my ticket. “Here ya go! My treat. A treat for the treaty. Also, you look like you’re about to faint. Do you need to sit down?”

  I grabbed the ticket with my sweaty palm and shook my head. “Let’s do this.”

  “Are you sure? I don’t want to make you do anything you are scared to do.”

  “Who? Me? Scared?” I blew out a breath. “Never.”

  “Just of squirrels. Got it.” She put her hand in mine and quickly pulled it back. “You are scared! Your hand feels like the inside of a clam! We can go slow. Let’s do something easy first. Like the swing or the bumper car, or we can play a game! How about the Ferris wheel? That’s an easy one. Let’s go!”

  “Sorry,” I said, wiping my hands on my pants and following behind her.

  Her arse bounced as she skipped along ahead of me. I focused on the bottom of her tiny jean shorts instead of the monstrous contraptions whizzing around me. If her shorts were much shorter, I could see my favorite spot on her—the place where her thighs met the curve of her arse. My dick twitched to the left, following right behind her as if it connected to some type of Rox radar.

  “Where is my sexy jogger when I need him? What are you doing back there, Grandpa?” She stopped to wait on me before hooking her arm in mine and dragging me toward a Ferris wheel that looked like it was moments from spinning off its old axles and rolling straight through town.

  “We’re riding in that? That doesn’t look safe! Look at all the rust! And that creaking noise! Is this the same amusement park I read about where those people got stuck upside down in that coaster?”

  “No! Westy’s isn’t like that. It’s old, but that is part of its American charm. This place has been around longer than me, but the owners keep it up-to-date. I think there is a new owner now—Westy’s son, Weston. Maybe the younger generation will spruce it up a bit. It’s safe though! Come on.”

  “Westy’s and Weston,” I repeated, shaking my head. “I am going to trust you on this. But if I get up there and we start to hamster-wheel off and end up in the river, I do get to say that I told you so.”

  The ride attendant, who looked as if he were twelve years old, nodded politely and ushered us into a large capsule. I put one foot in front of the other and stepped into the swaying bucket of death. My hands gripped the center pole as I squeezed my eyes shut. I let out a groan as we began to make our ascent. My eyes were still squinted shut when I felt Rox’s hand on my dick.

  “Quick. Whip out that cock and let me calm you. I’ve always wanted to do this!” She began unzipping my pants.

  “I don’t know what you’re doing, but don’t stop.” I kept my eyes closed.

  My fingers curled around the pole as I peeked from between my lashes before quickly squinting my eyes shut again. The bucket of death swayed in the air as Rox positioned herself in front of me … on her knees.

  Fuck.

  “Already hard. That’s my man!” she cheered as she shoved my cock in her mouth.

  The Ferris wheel stopped right as we made it to the top.

  “What’s happening?” I asked, keeping my eyes closed.

  “I’m sucking your dick,” she spit out before returning to work on my shaft.

  “No, we’re stopped. Fuck. That feels good. Why are we stopped?” The panic began to rise in my chest.

  “Shh. It’s normal. Relax. We’re about to start again, and you’re going to spend the entirety of our day with blue balls.” She gripped her hand around the base of my cock, working me up and down and bobbing her head in matching rhythm—quicker and quicker.

  I hung on to the pole, eyes still shut, when a gust of wind sent the bucket swaying forward. My heart raced as we began to move again. The bucket swayed back and forth, and I was too chicken to open my eyes and see what was going on. I only knew that my dick was out, and I was vulnerable as fuck and about to die.

  Another gust of wind blew through the cart, sending me into a panic-induced explosion.

  “Ahh!” I yelped as I immediately spilled out into her mouth.

  My dick pulsed hard, matching the pulse of what felt like a minor heart attack.

  “Fuck! Sorry. I usually give a warning. I just … I got scared and creamed my pants again.” I opened my eyes and apologized as she swallowed hard and tucked my cock away, giving it a little pat.

  “Not inside your pants. Inside my mouth. And you taste like pineapple. That’s a bit weird, but I like it. You’re a tropical drink. I hope that settles you a bit because we’re just getting started with the fun.” She scooted into me and kissed my cheek. Her lips were still wet.

  I didn’t have the heart to tell her I had been chugging pineapple juice since we fucked at her place. I hadn’t had a blow job in years, and if I even remotely had the chance of getting one, I wanted to be prepared. A quick search on the internet had told me just how easy it
was to sweeten my load. My pantry could have been mistaken for a pineapple farm. I had eaten the fruit, drunk the juice, and put that shit on everything.

  Pineapple on my pizza?

  Check.

  Pineapple salsa?

  Check.

  Pineapple cocktails?

  Check.

  Chugging pineapple juice every waking moment I had?

  Double check.

  “That was incredible. You are amazing. A Rox star!” I put my arm over her shoulders and kissed the top of her head.

  “Rox star. I like that. I prefer Kintsugi though. That hits me in the feels.”

  “And you like being hit in the feels?” I tilted my head, catching her eye, but she looked away.

  “By you.” She shrugged.

  “I hope you enjoyed the ride!” The attendant smiled as he opened the gate and let us out of the death bucket that I had a new respect for.

  Maybe later, I would even try to fuck her in it.

  We walked through the park hand in hand, stopping at the bumper cars, a train that circled the entire park, and a funhouse where we snuck in a quick make-out session. Her tongue twirled around mine as I pushed her up against a mirror that made us both look stretched out. I wanted to turn her around and fuck her in that mirror as we watched our silly reflections staring back at us.

  “Someone’s coming,” she whispered into my mouth.

  We peeled ourselves off one another and continued through the park. I stopped to play a few games and do the chivalrous thing by winning her a stuffed animal, but she insisted that she was not the cuddly stuffed-animal type and instead told me I could buy her a corn dog.

  “A what? You want a dog?” I asked.

  “A corn dog! Don’t you know what a corn dog is? I know it’s not something you’d serve at Scarlett Herb, but it’s like the all-American staple. Besides apple pie. It’s that thing!” She pointed toward a sign hanging off of a truck.

  “Oh! Yes, we have those. That’s what we call a dippy dog, and they are delicious! I eat junk too, you know! Not everything I eat has to be sous vide or braised in something I can’t even pronounce.” I shook my head and put in an order.