Our chemistry would always be there. Nora and I had a dynamic most people couldn’t possibly understand. Playful and physical. Cool and natural. The feel of her skin against mine was as familiar as my own. For most of our lives, we were each other’s only source of attention and affection. So, even if it had started innocently in our youth, as we got older, our touches had become something else entirely.
Something more mature—an attraction and desire neither of us could deny.
But hey, if she could flirt and be coy, so could I.
Also, I was a little buzzed, so that seriously helped in the courage department.
“I’ll tell you what. If you give me a kiss right here”—I tapped my cheek on the side she was closer to—“I’ll answer whatever questions you have.”
Her lips twisted to the side where she tried—and failed—to suppress a grin. “So that’s how it’s gonna be?”
“Is that another question?” I huffed and lifted my beer to my lips. “Keep ’em coming. I’ll start a running tally. I’m fantastic at math, in case you've forgotten.”
She sloshed over to me, slapping a big, wet, sloppy smooch right where she had been instructed. “There. Now, tell me about college.”
“I’m going to be in school for the rest of my life at this rate.” Holding my beer above water, I folded under the surface and grabbed her toe, pulling her foot back up with me. I rested her ankle on my thigh and began rubbing her foot with one hand.
“Mmm,” she hummed, closing her eyes. She brought her other foot to rest on my lap as though it were waiting in line. “You’ve been holding out on me, Cam. How come you never did this back at the creek?”
“Because you would have punched me.”
She laughed and set her beer aside. “Probably.”
I put my drink aside too and readjusted so I could massage both of her feet at the same time. “Okay, my turn for a question.”
“I do believe there’s a price for that.” She teased her slender index finger down her neck. “Fair is fair.”
My mouth dried and my lips—among other places—twitched. “Just name the spot. I’m here for it. So fucking here for it.”
The playfulness in her eyes transformed into a fire. Having her look at me like that while sitting within arm’s reach was better than any fantasy I’d had of her over the years. And believe me, there were plenty.
Her finger landed just below her earlobe on her neck. “Here.”
I spread her legs and in one fluid motion gave her ankles a tug, dragging her into my lap so that she was straddling me. Water slapped the edges, and without hesitation, her arms wrapped around my neck. Cocking her head to the side, she invited me to press my lips to her wet skin.
Nora.
My Nora.
In the flesh. Happy. Smiling. Fucking stunning. And silently pleading for me.
I’d waited so long to have her like that. Most nights, I didn’t even allow myself to dream that it would ever come to fruition. She’d always been a mirage I could never quite catch before it disappeared.
Brushing a few locks of her hair out of my way, I licked my lips and leaned in.
The moment my mouth brushed her skin, her breathing shuddered, giving me silent permission to lick and suck my way up to her ear.
“That feels so good. Don’t stop,” she moaned.
I could’ve died a happy man hearing those six words, but I prayed God would let me live through the night. If I had anything to say about it, neither of us would spend a moment of it sleeping.
I smiled against her neck and paused only long enough to warn, “If you think you’re getting off the hook and not answering a question, you’re sorely mistaken.”
She rolled her head to the side and gave me more room to roam. “Then ask it and then do that tongue thing again.”
I chuckled. “Nora, if my kissing you isn't a distraction, then I’m not doing a very good job.”
She pulled away just enough to make eye contact. “I’m finishing up school to be a first-grade teacher. Multitasking is my city. Now, ask and get back to work.”
Oh, a freebie. Not that I minded our method of payment at the moment.
So she was a teacher. Interesting. I liked that for her—and for more reasons than just the images of her bending over a desk.
“Yes, ma’am, Ms. Stewart.” With my original inquiry out of the way, that left the door wide open to ask her something more personal.
But the woman was right, I had some necking to do too.
“Do you…” Kiss. “…ever think—”
“Mmmm,” she hummed as my tongue teased at her earlobe.
“…about me…”
She shivered in my arms and moved closer until her core found my length straining against my boxers.
I hissed at the contact, barely able to finish my thought. “…at night?”
Her fingers latched onto my hair and she pulled my mouth to hers, hovering mere millimeters away. “You’re the only man I’ve ever thought about.” Her warm breath filled my every inhale. “Every night, Cam.”
I kissed her hard and fast, sealing my mouth over hers as though oxygen were my enemy.
Fuck. Me.
The Cam tasted even better than it sounded.
A groan rumbled in my throat, her words sparking something primal within me. “I want to be inside you,” I rumbled, palming her breast.
“Oh, God,” she breathed, nipping at my neck while circling her hips over my cock.
“You can tell me to stop. I swear I won’t do anything you don’t—”
“Hey, Cam.” She palmed either side of my face. “Shut up and take me inside.”
I didn’t turn off the jacuzzi.
I didn’t even shut the back-fucking-door.
I didn’t care whether my wet feet left spots on the hardwood floor, trailing to the bed where I carried her.
I didn’t turn off a single light on the way.
And I didn’t give a good Goddamn if the whole cabin came down around us.
For one night, I was going to say to hell with it all.
For one night, nothing in the world mattered.
Not the wet clothes we left on the floor after ripping them off each other. Not the fact that she’d be leaving the next day or that I was so far behind in my classes it would take a month to make up for the week I’d been gone, pretending to mourn a man I’d never really loved.
But everything vanished as I stared down at her naked, pink cheeks, all mine.
I put a knee to the bed and trailed a finger through her heat. Fuck me, she was wet and it had not one fucking thing to do with the hot tub. “I need a condom.”
“Please, Cam.” She rose from the pillow, pressing her lips to mine. “I’m on birth control. It’s fine.”
“I’m clean,” I confessed. And because it was Nora, I didn’t even have it in me to be embarrassed when I admitted, “I haven’t been with anyone.”
Her eyes grew wide. “No one?”
“No one.”
A heart-stopping smile spread across her face. “Me either.” She took a deep shaky breath and blew it out. “I sorta thought you’d know what to do.”
Relief tore from my throat. I’d never dare ask her about other guys; I had no right. But learning that neither of us had been with anyone else, that we were going to have something that we would share forever, galvanized the lock she’d placed on my heart almost a decade earlier.
I’d always belong to Nora Stewart.
This first belonged to us.
A laugh slipped out. “Well, just because I haven’t done it doesn’t mean I don’t know how.”
“What if it’s a train wreck?” She giggled through her unshed tears.
“What about us isn’t a train wreck?”
“Good point.”
Dropping to my elbows on either side of her head, I moved closer to her face and whispered, “Just talk to me, okay? I want it to be good for you.”
Her hands gently slid up my back
, and I settled between her legs.
“You know I love you, right?” she rushed out.
My chest got tight. “I know.”
“No, Cam. I mean I really, really love you. I always have.”
“I know that too, babe. And I love you too. Always.”
“Then show me.” Her mouth claimed mine. “Show me what love feels like.”
Her hips rose off the bed, and in turn, I lowered mine to meet hers. Our mouths paused for a beat as we connected for the first time. I could wax poetic about how fireworks went off or how time stood still, but that wasn’t us.
We were clumsy and inexperienced, but we learned together.
We were teeth clanking and a slip out here and there.
But eventually, we found our rhythm. Our stride. Our version of physical love.
With roaming hands and blissful moans, she was beautiful and sexy and passionate and wild. Somehow, ten years of Karma found me in that bed, because to my utter surprise and elation, I managed to find a spot that made her cry out.
“Just like that. Yes. Just like that. Oh, Cam.”
Unfortunately, Karma doesn’t always have the best timing and my body chose that exact second to empty inside her. That moment was kind of like fireworks, but also kind of like blowing up your hand the second you lit the fuse.
Rolling to my side, I stared at her in horror. “Holy shit. I’m so sorry That was…”
Oh, God.
Following me over, she flipped on to my sweaty chest and kissed my pec. “Don’t you dare be sorry.”
“I just… I mean, it… It snuck up me. Christ, you felt good.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“You can take it however you want as long as you don’t leave this bed until I make it up to you.”
She shrugged. “Okay, at that speed, you can make it up to me at least thirty more times before the sun even comes up.”
I barked a laugh. “Always the smartass.”
“You know it.”
And that was how it had always been with Nora. She didn't judge or make me feel embarrassed, even when I deserved it. There was a comfort and security between us that I‘d never find with anyone else.
I lifted my head and pressed an all too brief kiss to her lips. “I’m so fucking glad you came. I could get seriously addicted to you, Nora Stewart.”
And just when I’d thought nothing could be worse than premature ejaculation, her whole face turned white and she rolled off me. “I need to clean up.”
I watched what was no doubt a spectacular show of her ass swaying as she padded to the bathroom, but I was too preoccupied trying to figure out where I’d gone wrong to truly enjoy it.
I sat up and snagged a pair of boxers from my suitcase, dragging them on while I carried a dry T-shirt to the bathroom door and rapped with two knuckles. “Hey, I brought you a shirt.”
She opened the door a crack and extended her hand out, taking my offering. “Do you have any sweats I can borrow?”
Sweats? That seemed a bit much. What happened to talking about thirty more times?
“Um, yeah. Sure.” I dug a pair from my suitcase and carried them back to her. There was another round of crack the door and take the clothes, but thankfully she didn’t request a hoodie that time.
Assuming naked time was officially over thanks to my big fucking mouth, I got dressed and sat on the edge of the bed.
She smiled when she exited a few minutes later, but I knew Nora well enough to realize her grin was strictly for my benefit. And didn’t that just fucking suck after the laughs we’d shared in the hot tub.
What did not suck was that she walked straight over to me, wrapped her arms around my neck, and climbed onto my lap.
Why hello mixed signals.
I folded her into a tight hug. “Did I say something wrong?”
She let out a sigh. “No.”
“Then why are you wearing so much clothing?”
“I have to leave.”
I swayed away so I could see her face. “Right now?”
She framed my face in her hands and stroked her thumb back and forth across my bottom lip. “No. But I will tomorrow. And, eventually, you will too. You have a whole big life in New York. And I’m finishing up my student teaching in Clovert. I don’t know. Maybe we shouldn’t have…ya know?”
I shook my head. “No. I can honestly say I don’t know. Because there is nothing we did tonight that I don’t think we should have done a long time ago and from now on a lot more frequently.”
She looked away, but she wasn’t quick enough to hide the quiver of her chin. “I’m really just sick of hurting you, Cam.”
Leaning to the side, I forced my face into her line of sight. “Okay, now, I’m confused. What part of that do you think hurt me, exactly? Was it the noises? I promise you none of those were cries of pain, but if it bothered you, I can work on it. I’m always open to constructive feedback.”
She laughed, but it was sad. “Me coming here was supposed to be about you. To support you through hard times like you’ve always done for me. But then I showed up and you were really hot.”
I chuckled and hugged her tight. “Is it a bad thing?”
“Yeah, because now, I know how perfect you are. And you think you could get addicted to me, but I have to leave in the morning.”
And there it was. The truth that always lingered between Nora and me.
Our story was a tangled tale of time and distance.
Choices and consequences.
Love and longing.
But, throughout, we were never on the same page at the same time.
When we were kids, it had been out of our control. She’d lived in Clovert and I’d lived in Alberton; a summer together was all we could have hoped for. We’d grown up, but the circumstances that surrounded us were more complex than ever. Did I wish that she’d asked me to stay when I’d left the hospital the last time I’d seen her? With my entire heart. Did I understand why she couldn’t? With my entire being. I could never expect Nora to love me until she loved herself.
As a man who would have done anything to fix things for her, that was a hard fucking pill to swallow. I’d spent many nights raging at the unfairness of finding my soul mate in a shattered girl I could never quite hold on to. But those were the cards I’d been dealt, and I had to be realistic about my expectations of how things would play out.
The way I saw it, I had three options.
Walk away and close the door on Nora Stewart forever.
Show up on her doorstep, pulling her close and ultimately pushing her further away.
Or enjoy the moments when the universe saw fit to bring her into my life and hope like hell that, one of those times, I’d finally get to keep her.
I’d chose option three every single time because, in our story, it was the only plot line in which I got to keep her. Even just for a night.
Reclining on the bed, I dragged her down with me. With her knees on either side of my hips, she settled squarely on top of me, the right parts of her body aligned with all the right parts of mine. My cock stirred to life immediately; the greedy bastard was ready for more.
It would have to wait—preferably for when there wasn’t an entire cotton field of sweatpants between us and she was back to smiling and laughing.
“I know how this works, Nora. I haven’t spent half my life obsessing over you without learning a few things.”
She buried her face in my neck. “Oh, God, don’t say that. That just makes me feel worse.”
“Hey, stop. It’s not a bad thing.”
“It feels bad. Knowing I can’t be who you want me to be.”
“Nora, you’re here with me. After giving me what you just gave me, trusting me to be that man for you—you’re exactly who I want you to be.”
“Do you want to know why I’ve never had sex with anyone before?”
I chuckled. “Is it because you’ve spent your adult life hoping for two orgasm-less minutes in Heaven wit
h me? Because…not to brag or anything, but I’m all about making dreams come true.”
She giggled and lifted her head to kiss my jaw. “You know me too well.” She was on top of me, gravity doing its thing, but when she sighed, she wiggled as though it could somehow bring us closer. “I don’t trust anybody like I trust you, Cam. The minute I saw you today, sitting up front with your family, surrounded by the very same people who usually make my skin crawl, all the chaos in my head fell silent. The last few years, breathing has been a conscious effort. Every thought requires dissection, and every emotion needs to be processed and inventoried to make sure I'm moving in the right direction. But not when I’m with you. With you, I breathe and I laugh and…and I feel, Camden. Good things. And I don't even have to try. It just happens when I'm with you.”
With my heart in my throat, I rolled to the side and inched down so I could see her face.
Damp tracks streaked her cheeks, but there was a warm, content smile on her face.
I ran my palm over the top of her messy hair. “That’s love, Nora. And just so you don’t think I’m some magical genie, what you just described is exactly how I feel with you.”
“I’m learning that.”
I kissed her nose. “Good.”
“I'm not quite there yet though. I’m working hard, Cam. Healing my soul and my heart. But I still think it’s my head that needs it the most. I can’t stop thinking that I’ll never be enough for you. But I’m so selfish I can’t convince myself to let you off the hook, either.”
I squeezed her hip. “I like your hook, thank you very much. I will never ask you to let me off it. You sit there and talk about not being enough for me, but you have no idea how much I look up to you. To see everything you’ve risen above, and the fact that you’re still fighting for yourself. Fuck, that’s inspiring. It’s safe to say I have my own mountains to climb. For fuck’s sake, my dad is dead and I haven’t shed a single tear. We have different depths of problems, but your well has been deeper than most. And like a badass beast, you’re still clawing your way out. There is a solid possibility you’re going to get out of there and see that I’m not enough for you.”
“Cam,” she whispered reverently.
“Please hear me when I say this. You were enough for me when you were eleven, barefoot and saving my life from frogs. You were enough for me at twelve, yelling at me for not choosing you, because whether you understand it or not, just knowing that someone cared if I chose them changed my entire outlook on life. You were enough for me at thirteen and fourteen and fifteen and sixteen, and fuck, Nora, you have been enough for me every single day of my life. Timing is everything and we’re not there yet. But don’t you ever fucking let me go. Do you hear me? Never.”
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