“Liam, I…” I shake my head.
“If you can’t give me all of yourself, we can’t keep doing this. Every day, I fall more in love with you, and you can’t even call me your boyfriend?” Anger is rolling off him in strong waves, and each of those waves is drowning me.
“I just…”
“What?” His voice is deep and rough.
“I just need some time. Please. Let me think about all of this.”
He nods. “You do that, Ves.” Without another word, he storms out, slamming the door behind him.
I’m stuck in a place, wondering how in the hell did we get here. Yesterday, we were happy and together. There wasn’t any threat of a life-changing decision hanging over my head. Now, it feels like it’s time to choose. I don’t want a relationship. I want to keep my time open so I can dedicate all that I need to my clinic and work on expanding the business. I didn’t plan on doing the whole relationship, love, marriage thing until much later—when my business was growing and standing on its own.
If I do this with Liam now, will it take me away from my dreams? Am I okay with that if it does? What do I want more: love or my dream?
I feel like stomping my foot. I want both. I just want one before the other. Why can’t he understand that? Why can’t he be okay with doing what we’re doing now until everything is in place like I’ve always planned it?
Tonight is not the night to decide. I’ve had a shitty day. I’m drunk, and I’m in desperate need of sleep. I push all my thoughts aside, lock up, and go to bed where I fall into a deep, dreamless sleep.
When I wake up in the morning, I feel even more tired than I did before I went to sleep. My head is pounding, and my eyes are sensitive to light. I hold my hand in front of them as I stumble to the bathroom, hoping a hot shower will make me feel better.
When I step out, I find Amy in my apartment. I pull on my robe and sit on the couch next to her.
“What’s up with you today?”
I let out a long breath. “Liam. He wants a relationship. A real relationship.”
“That’s great, Ves!”
I look up at her. “Is it?”
“Isn’t it?” she replies.
“No. I’m not ready. I have my life planned out. I was going to open my clinic, find some steady ground to stand on, then work toward expanding. Love comes after all of that. And now, here he is, confessing his love for me and forcing me to make a decision.”
She looks over at me with kind eyes. “You can’t plan everything, Ves. No matter how hard you try.”
“I know,” I mumble.
“Do you want to be with him?”
I nod. “I do; I just want a chance at achieving my dream first.”
“He can’t sit around and wait for you to be ready.”
“I know that.” I lean my head back, looking up at the ceiling.
“Why can’t you see yourself achieving your dream with him by your side?”
I look over at her and open my mouth, but I don’t have an answer.
Over the past week, I’ve picked up my phone several times to call Liam, but every time I see his name on the screen, I chicken out and hang up. He hasn’t called, texted, or come by. He’s giving me space to make the decision. And even though talking with Amy has put some things into perspective, I still have no idea about what I’m going to do. It almost seems easier to forget about it and ignore the fact that if I don’t decide soon, I’ll lose him whether I want to or not.
I stay late at work, cleaning up, paying some bills, and going through the applications. I decided that if I want to expand and grow, that needs to start happening now. The practice is making a little more money each week, and I finally have enough in the budget to hire another vet and someone to fill in for Amy—someone to book appointments, answer phones, and help to clean up around here.
Amy peeks into my office. “Hey, what are you still doing back here?” she asks, walking in and sitting down across from me.
I lean back in my seat and push my hair away from my face. “Just working…thinking.” I meet her eyes. “I think I’m going to focus on the clinic and let things with Liam calm down. It’s just not the time.” I shake my head.
“Really?” she asks, arching her brows.
I shrug. “I mean, what are the chances of it working out anyway? He will get bored with me and move on. Then I’ll be stuck trying to salvage what’s left of this place while picking up the pieces of my broken heart. I’ve worked very hard at keeping myself in check these last few months, and this last week, not seeing him has hurt. I’m not going to lie. If it hurts already, it will only be worse in the future.”
She leans forward, holding onto the arms of her chair. “This is your decision, Ves. So, I’m only going to say this once, and we’ll never speak of it again.” Her eyes are wide, waiting for me to agree.
I swallow down my fear and nod her on.
“Liam loves you. I know you have this image of him in your head where he’s a playboy and fucking different women every weekend, but that’s not him. And you shouldn’t punish him for the way you’re labeling him. He wants you. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have hung around this long. And as far as this place goes.” She motions around the room. “Well, it’s not going anywhere. It’s just a small part of your life. You need balance, not just work. You need to be able to go home at night and feel like all your hard work has added to something. I mean, what’s the point in having all of this if you have nobody to share it with?”
I groan and rest my head on the desk.
“Whatever you choose, you need to do it soon. I ran into Tyler in the town and he said that Liam was packing up and going back to California.”
My head pops up. “What? Why? When did you see him? How long ago?”
She smiles wide because she knows that I’m not ready to end things. She knew even when I didn’t. “I just saw him at the gas station when I went on break, a couple of hours ago. He said that Liam’s been acting strange this past week and that he finally decided that the ranch isn’t where he needs to be. He said he’s leaving this evening.”
I push away from my desk, grabbing my coat, purse, and keys. “I have to go. Can you lock up?”
“You know it.” She smiles wide, excitement shining in her eyes.
I rush out the door and into the cold night. It’s been snowing for hours now and my SUV is covered in a thick blanket of snow. I climb behind the wheel and twist the key, blasting the defrost. Grabbing the ice-scraper, I jump out and work on getting the snow off the windows. The night is cold and dark. Not a star in the sky because of the gray, low-hanging clouds. The air around me is crisp and sharp, cutting through me and halting my breath.
By the time I get back into the car, my fingertips are numb and my nose is frozen and running, but I don’t have time to think about how cold I am. I have to catch Liam. I have to tell him that I’m sorry, that I can have him and my dream. I was stupid for not seeing it before. It’s only now that I know he’s leaving that it all makes sense.
I back out of my parking spot, praying that I catch him in time.
The roads are slick and icy as the snow falling doubles its pace. It’s mesmerizing to watch it swirl and dance in front of my headlights. As hard as I try to focus on the road, I’m lost in my thoughts, my mistakes, and my prayers to catch him. I don’t even notice when my tires cross the line on the road.
A loud honk jars me from my thoughts. Bright headlights blind me. I hear a scream and realize its mine as my car flips and spins. The sound of twisting metal is all I can hear as glass shatters and rains down on me. Then, blackness.
Chapter 22
Liam
It’s been a week. A whole fucking week since I confessed my love to her. And I haven’t heard from her since. I’ve tried to be patient and wait. I haven’t been able to eat or sleep. I’m stuck in a limbo, just staring at my phone hoping she calls to tell me what I want to hear or to rip it all away.
Finally, I can’t take it
anymore. I have to do something. It’s obvious that she doesn’t feel the same way. If she did, she’d be here right now, resting her head against my chest with her arms wrapped around me, whispering how much she loves me in my ear with her sweet breath blowing against my cheek. I can still smell her: lavender and vanilla, a sweet mixture that is all her own. I can still feel her heat sinking into me like I’m holding her against my body once again. But it’s all lies. A trick that my mind is playing on me because I know deep down that I’ll never have her again.
I guess, in a way, I can’t blame her for not taking me seriously. I do have a bit of a reputation. But all that is in the past. I was just a kid that had too much time and money, not to mention a lack of responsibility. I just wish I could’ve met her back then. I know I would’ve straightened up my shit for her. She’s all I want. And yet, she wants nothing to do with me.
My bags are packed and waiting for me by the door, but something inside of me doesn’t want to leave. It’s like if I just wait five more minutes, she’ll be pulling up to the house. It’s stupid of me to think that way, I know, but I can’t shake it. There’s this feeling in my gut that’s begging me to stay just five more minutes. But I can’t wait. Five minutes turns into thirty. And thirty turns into hours. Hours to a week. And here I am. Still empty.
I pick up the stack of pictures off the dresser and look over them.
Tyler sticks his head in the room. “Sir, we better leave if you want to make your flight.”
I nod. “Be right there.” I bend down in front of the fireplace and slowly throw the pictures in, one by one. When I get to the last one, I see it.
It’s a picture I took off the security camera in the barn, so it’s blurry, but it’s still there. Clearly written across her face. Love.
I have her up on the workbench while I’m between her parted jean-covered knees. Her arms are around my neck, and she’s pulled away to look at me. There’s a small smile on her face and her eyes are lit up. She loves me.
I tuck the picture into my jacket pocket. “Tyler, change of plans,” I yell, rushing out the door and down the stairs.
“What’s going on?” he asks, sliding into his coat.
“I’m not going to California. I’m going to find Ves. Can you drive?” I ask, pointing at him as I ignore the bag on the floor and rush out the door to the truck.
The night is cold, and it slices through me like a sharp knife, but the truck is warm and toasty from Tyler starting it ten minutes ago.
He climbs behind the wheel. “Are you sure about this?”
“No, but I’m doing it anyway,” I say, full of determination. I know that there is a chance that I will get to her place and she will still turn me down. Or, she might not let me in to begin with. But I can’t walk away from this and not know. In all my life, I’ve never felt for anyone the way I feel for her. That’s something. That’s everything. And it’s all I need.
Tyler drives slowly; with all the ice and snow on the road, he has to. It makes the thirty-minute drive last twice as long. But when we get to county line road, he slows the truck when we see what looks to be a crash. Two cars are overturned on the side of the road.
“Damn,” Tyler says, pulling to the side of the road and turning on the hazard lights.
“Call 9-1-1,” I tell him, jumping from the truck and running toward the cars.
I fall into the snow and look through the window. An old man is behind the wheel, held in place by his seatbelt. His eyes are closed, and he has a bleeding gash on his head, but I see his chest moving up and down. If anything, he probably just has a few bumps and bruises.
I try to open the door, but it won’t budge. I ram my elbow into the window, but it doesn’t break.
“Liam!” Tyler yells from across the field.
“I can’t get in the car!” I yell back as I stand to see him next to the other crashed vehicle.
“Liam, it’s Ves!”
Everything stops. All I hear is a loud ringing sound. I’m frozen in fear, but the next thing I know, I’m running to her. I fall to my knees and peek in through the window. Sure enough, it’s Ves. Her strawberry-blonde hair is falling around her face. Her eyes are closed and there is blood dripping from her nose, her lip, and a gash on her forehead.
I bang on the window over and over, yelling and screaming something I don’t even understand. Tyler grabs hold of me, pulling me back and holding me against his chest as I fight him, needing to get to her.
“There’s nothing you can do. Just wait for the ambulance,” Tyler screams. But to me, it may as well be a whisper.
I sit back and watch as the minutes tick by, each one feeling longer than the last. Red and blue lights light up the night around us, reflecting off the crisp snow. Vesper’s car is so smashed, they end up busting the window and cutting her seatbelt to get her out. The second they pull her limp body from the wreckage, my heart beats again and I feel like I can breathe.
I jump into the truck, and Tyler follows the ambulance to the hospital where more waiting takes place.
As I’m pacing the waiting room floor, Amy runs up to the counter. “Vesper Lawrence. Is she here?”
“Amy,” I say, taking a step closer.
She spins around. “Liam, where is she?”
“She’s back in surgery. She broke her arm.”
“Is she okay?” she asks, panic written across her face.
“She has a concussion, a broken arm, several bumps, cuts, and bruises, but they haven’t found any internal bleeding. She should be fine after recovery.”
She lets out a long sigh of relief. “Thank God.” She holds her hand over her heart. “Did you talk to her? She was coming to see you.”
“No, I had no idea. I was going to see her.” I guess that gut feeling I had was right.
“You found her?”
“Tyler and I came upon the crash.”
It’s not long before Vesper’s parents are rushing in. Since I’ve never met them, I only know it’s her parents when Amy tells me.
I hold out my hand to her father. “It’s nice to meet you, sir. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Oh, you must be Liam,” her mother cuts in. “Ves has told us so much about you too.” Her cheeks flush to a light shade of pink.
“It’s good to meet both of you. I’m sorry it had to be under these circumstances though.”
“Ves is strong. She will be okay. Don’t you worry about that,” her father says.
I nod. “I agree. You raised a very strong, beautiful daughter.”
He smiles proudly. Just as he opens his mouth to say something, the doctor walks into the room.
“Mr. and Mrs. Lawrence?”
“Yes,” her mother cries as they both rush up to him.
I stand back, praying everything is okay.
“Vesper is out of surgery. She has fractured her arm in seven places. We have managed to pin it back together. She’s stable but she will require months of rehab for that arm.”
“When can we see her?” her mom asks, worry dripping from her words.
“She’s in recovery now. When she wakes up, she will be moved into a regular room then, and somebody will come and get you. Okay?”
They both nod as the doctor walks away.
I let myself fall back into the chair, finally able to breathe now that she’s out of surgery and will be okay. Now, I just have to wait to see if she will see me. I have to admit my mind has been reeling since Amy said she was coming to see me. Hope fills my chest. Was she coming to tell me she wants to be together? Or was it to break it off once and for all?
My leg shivers as I wait. I can’t sit still. I go from bouncing around in my seat to pacing, and back again many times before her parents come back to the waiting room.
“Liam, Ves would like to see you, honey,” her mom says, patting my hand as they walk by.
I take a deep breath and look at Tyler.
He nods once. “Go get her.”
“How do you feel about thi
s? I know you went on a date with her once. Are we okay?”
He waves his hand through the air with a smile on his face. “That was nothing. I liked her, yeah. But I’m not in love with her. You are. I see it every time you look at her. And she loves you. I know it, despite how much she tries to deny it.” He pats me on the shoulder. “Go get her.”
A short laugh escapes from my lips as I push myself up and down the hall to her room, my heart pounding uncontrollably in my chest.
When I walk into her room, she’s lying in bed with her eyes closed. She has a square bandage on her forehead, small cuts and scrapes litter her face, arms, and hands. Her left arm is covered in a thick, white, cast. The fingers of that hand are swollen and purple.
I walk further into the room and sit in the empty chair by her side. She must have sensed me because her eyes pop open and her head turns to face me. When her eyes land on mine, the corners of her mouth pull up into a sleepy smile.
“Hey,” she whispers.
“How are you feeling?” I reach up, taking her good hand in mine.
She shrugs, causing her to wince. “A little sore. But I’m still doped up enough from surgery not to care.”
A silent laugh escapes my lips. “What were you doing out there, Ves? You had to know that those country roads hadn’t been plowed.”
“Amy told me you were leaving. I wanted to catch you.” She tears her eyes away from mine, looking down at my hand holding hers. “I’m sorry, Liam. I…I was being stupid. I just thought that if I had you, I couldn’t have my dream. But now I know that I can have both. I can work toward my dreams with you by my side.”
I press my lips together, overwhelmingly happy to hear her say those words.
“That is, if you still want me,” she adds on.
I lean forward, pressing my lips to the soft skin of her hand. “Of course, I do. I love you, Ves.”
She smiles. “I love you too, Liam.”
I lean over, softly pressing my lips to hers. Her right hand wraps around my neck, fingers tangling into my hair and pulling me closer as she deepens the kiss.
Claimed By Him: (Contemporary Romance Box Set) Page 13