The web spread out as far as I could see in every direction, and as I glanced over my shoulder, the staircase and cavern was gone, and everywhere I looked, I saw the webs streaming through the universe.
About a hundred yards away, balanced across the web I was standing on, a massive silver throne rose up, resting on what looked like a dais made of ice. The throne was embellished with blue and crystal gems, and the moon hovered nearby, casting its frozen light down on us.
Either I had entered an interstellar realm, or I was on some massive acid trip.
Atop the throne sat a woman who looked twenty feet tall, and just the sight of her took my breath away. Dressed in an indigo gown that shimmered with beads, her platinum hair flowed down her back, shrouding her like a cloak. Her eyes were silver with no pupils, and her face was as pale as winter’s blush. As she turned her head to gaze at me, her power rushed through the chamber like a wave, knocking me to my knees. I was unable to avert my gaze.
Her headdress rose tall, a knotwork of silver and diamonds. The knotwork was so intricate that I couldn’t follow the pattern, and sparkled so brightly that it almost blinded me. Beneath the flowing platinum locks, a white fur cloak cascaded down her shoulders, and she held a silver scepter. At her feet a small clearing appeared, a grove with a pond that bubbled and sprayed. Beside the pond hung a gown from a nearby bush and I knew—with absolute certainty—that it was my gown, the one I had been fitted for wearing the blindfold. Next to the bush was a marble bench.
I managed to gather my wits and crossed to the foot of the throne.
After a moment, Arianrhod spoke, and her voice echoed like the wind. “Ember Kearney, you are here by petition of Morgana, Cernunnos, and Herne, to hand over your mortality and join the gods. Are you here of your own free will?”
I took a deep breath and nodded. “I am.”
“You passed through the long night. You faced my guardians. But now, you must answer to me.” Arianrhod motioned for me to stand. “Once you take this step, you are forever removed from the Wheel. You will never return to it, never again experience the Eternal Return. You will exist outside of time and space, you will belong to the ages, rather than to the cycles. Are you prepared to give up your mortality and face eternity with the rest of us?”
I paused, then answered, letting my heart speak. “Yes, I’m ready to join the gods.”
She scanned my face. “I believe you,” she said after a moment. “Are you willing to learn what you need to learn, to apply yourself to the years of lessons you must take, and to take up the duties you must accept as Herne’s wife?”
My voice started to shake. “Yes, I am.”
“Are you willing to walk away from the world of mortals, even though you have friends there?” Arianrhod hit a nerve with this one.
I paused. “Herne still interacts with mortals, including me.”
“Yes, but he is not of your realm. There will be a difference.”
I thought of Angel. What if she wasn’t able to make the change? What then?
“If you turn this down, you’re a fool. I’d do it, for the right love,” Angel’s voice echoed in my thoughts. At one time, she had chided me for worrying about her. And even though I prayed and hoped she would follow me, that she would join the gods with me, I knew that I couldn’t let even my twin soul dissuade me from what felt like the right path.
“I will walk away from the world of mortals,” I said, my throat dry even as my eyes teared up. “But I will still keep hope that—” I stopped, realizing that it wasn’t my place to beg Arianrhod to offer Angel the same chance, and Arianrhod wasn’t part of the Triamvinate, so the chance wasn’t hers to offer.
“Then, give me the feather my guardian presented to you.”
I handed her the feather.
“Given Herne has petitioned the Triamvinate, and they have agreed, and you are willing, we will begin the Gadawnoin.” She motioned to the pond. “Strip out of your clothing and enter the sacred pool.”
I stripped off the trousers and the tunic, as well as my underwear and bra. I sat on the bench to pull off my shoes.
As I stood naked before her, Arianrhod pointed her scepter toward the pond. “Enter the water, dip fully beneath it, and come out the other side. Do everything you’re told to do.”
Taking another deep breath, I slowly began to enter the pond, which was filled with a teal-colored water and was about five feet at the deepest. As my feet hit the stones lining the pond, for the first time that night I felt something beyond my own skin. The water was warm—not overly so, but enough so that I noticed the difference. It lapped against my skin, moved by an ethereal wind. I slowly made my way to the center and—as I stood there—I closed my eyes, swaying in the water. I bent my knees, dipping my head below the surface so that I was fully covered, and the next moment, I sank into a deep trance.
* * *
The faintest breeze fluttered over my crib and I—new to the world—looked up into my mother’s face. Even as I caught a glimpse of her, a long string of memories raced through my mind—bits and pieces of other lives all crowding in together, as so often happened with newborns.
A Light Fae woman on her knees, scrubbing a floor, begging her mistress to forgive her for being slow even while inside, she seethed at being a servant bound to the nobility. Her mistress, despising weakness, kicked her in the side and that kick ruptured the servant girl’s spleen. Hours later, she died in pain and alone.
A young girl on a mountain, picking wild flowers. Her mother was nearby but was occupied with yet another new baby and didn’t see the coyote that was sneaking up on the child. Within seconds, the flowers scattered to the ground, and the coyote dragged off the girl while the mother screamed and attempted to reach her.
An old woman rested in bed, ancient Dark Fae—and she held her eldest daughter’s hand as her family gathered around her. Beloved, she was, and revered, and as she drew her last breath, she could hear the cries go up. She wanted to tell them she was young again, but her lips would not work, and she understood then that she was free, and that freedom tasted sweet.
On and on the memories went, life after life, back before time, and several times Angel was there with me, my twin soul saying good-bye, promising to meet again.
I kept my head below the water, and in that moment my breath vanished and I realized my life was passing. I was moving out of life as I knew it, and entering a new world, only this time it was in the same body. There would be no funeral, no mourning because I was still alive—but it would be a very different form of life, with no going back.
Deep in my veins, my blood shifted and frothed, changing as it flowed through my body, and lungs and heart and every organ began to evolve. My DNA re-wove its sequence and all sense of aging fell away as my body took on more light and gave up its mortality.
Every strand wove itself anew, and I could feel myself expanding and changing as the memories of my other lives flowed through my mind and took up their place in a space easy to access, but that wouldn’t interfere with the Ember part of me.
I spread my arms wide, feeling an inner glow beginning deep in my heart, and it spread through my body to fill every cell, every nook and cranny. I opened my eyes and saw that I was, indeed, glowing with a pale blue light. I also realized that I was hovering over the pond, no longer in it. Fearing I’d drop into the water, I steeled myself, but I remained in midair, and then, very slowly, as the light spread to every recess of my blood, body, and soul, I slowly descended back into the water.
A sense of strength flooded through me, and clarity, and even my magic leapt up, awake and aware. As the energy began to settle, Arianrhod stood, stepping down from her throne.
“Welcome, Lady Ember, into the realm of the Divine. Rise now, and take your place among the Immortals.” With that, she bade me to exit the pool and dry myself. I donned the gown that waited for me, and Arianrhod herself placed a stunning aquamarine pendant on a silver chain around my neck. “You are now Goddess of the
Grotto, Lady of Water Fae, and Mistress of the Hunt. Let your actions never dishonor the path you now walk.”
My entire body was humming so violently I could almost hear it. “Is this normal?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I feel like I’m vibrating so much I’ll fall apart.” I was trying to stand straight, but I felt like I was listing to the side. “I know I’m not drunk.”
“You are feeling the aftereffects of the Gadawnoin. Your body will adapt over the next few days. But for now, you must rest and take time to adjust. You survived the transformation, but your body’s been through a major disruption. You must heal. I will take you to Ferosyn now.”
She paused, then added, “Welcome, Grotto Mother, into this new world. May you never regret your choice.”
Everything began to spin and then, before I could cry out, I felt myself tumbling into the vast field of stars surrounding us, and everything else fell away.
* * *
I fell through the stars, through the cold reaches of space. I fell through galaxies and passed comets speeding on their way and spun endlessly through the Milky Way, watching the universe careen around me, watching it spin on its axis. Stars rose and blossomed, while others vanished in an explosion of pure light, then sank inward on themselves, gobbling up time and space as they grew tighter and smaller.
I couldn’t remember who I was. I knew that I existed, and that I was part of the universe, part of the dance that made up existence. I leapt along the Web, those glittering strands sparkling as they stretched out, touching other strands, weaving a pattern throughout space, where all worlds collided, where everything connected.
A single strand set up a song, vibrating as it hummed, and that vibration rolled along the Web, touching every other part of the massive universal construct, and even though I wasn’t sure what or who I was, an image of a butterfly came to mind and then as it rose on its wings, I saw how its movement affected everything around it, spreading out, so that eventually the silent swish of its wings touched stars far, far away. Everything was connected and linked, every life, every planet, every star.
Eventually, I slowed down and my tumble through space began to decelerate, and then I saw a planet ahead, spinning on its axis, and that planet was overlaid with other realms, transparent and yet still there. My eyes began to close and I gave into the lure of slumber, and then all was quiet and I slept and dreamed of starlight and space, and as I dropped deeper into my sleep, everything went silent.
* * *
“Ember, wake up. Ember?” A familiar voice echoed in my head and I slowly began to wake. As I forced myself to open my eyes, I saw Ferosyn standing over me. He was patting my cheeks. “Time to wake up, Ember.”
I groaned, trying to move. Everything hurt and as I slowly sat up, every muscle gave its own little scream. “What…where am I?”
“You’re in my healing center. Time to wake up, Lady Ember.”
Lady Ember…and then it all came flooding back. The ritual, meeting Arianrhod, the transformation. It had all been real and not a dream. I eased myself up and scooted back against the headboard.
“Am I… Did it work?”
He nodded, reaching for my arm. “Let me check your blood pressure.” He checked all my vitals and finally pronounced me fit. “You’re strong, you’re healthy, and yes, the Gadawnoin worked. You are a goddess.”
The words echoed in my head. It was true. It had worked. I had gone through with it. “Am I…still me?”
“Yes, but it will take you awhile to adjust, so you’ll need to go easy on yourself. For the next few weeks, you’ll be in a precarious spot. Don’t try to do too much, too fast, or you’ll spin yourself into a crisis.” He shook a finger at me. “No getting out of bed.”
“But I thought—” How could I stay in bed for several months?
But Ferosyn motioned for me to look around. “You’ll be in your own rooms, and you won’t have to stay in the healing center as long as you obey the rules.”
I started to smile at him and felt one of my teeth pierce my inner lip. “What the hell?” I asked, rubbing one of my teeth. It was sharp, pointed like a fang.
“Your Leannan Sidhe side took precedence when you went through the Gadawnoin. Your Autumn’s Bane Heritage is a minor part, though still strong. Which means,” he said, sitting in a chair beside me and taking one of my hands in his, “you are primarily a goddess of the Water Fae and Rivers, and secondarily—a goddess of the Hunt. Full Leannan Sidhe have retractable fangs. You’ll get the hang of it. They’re used to siphon off life energy—not blood—from your victims in the quickest, most expedient manner.”
I asked for a mirror and he handed one to me. As I gazed at myself in the looking glass, I saw minor shifts that had happened during the ritual. My hair was curlier, the fangs were the most obvious, but there was something about my eyes that spoke most to the change I had been through. They were darker, more vibrant, and there was something behind them that almost scared me.
“When can I get up?”
“You can get out of bed to eat, use the bathroom, and walk around a few minutes each day. I’ll have one of my healers come in to help you. For now, though, I want you to drink this healing draught and go back to sleep. You need to rest. Your body has to adapt.” He handed me a small vial with some blood-red liquid in it. “Drink.”
I reluctantly took the sleeping potion. “When can I see the others?”
“When I think you’re past the crisis point. Now back under the covers, and rest.” As Ferosyn turned to leave the room, he glanced back at me. “You do realize that 50 percent of those who undergo the Gadawnoin never make it, don’t you? Though now that you’re through the main ritual, you have a 90 percent chance of surviving the aftereffects.”
I stared at him. Nobody had told me that, but even as I started to protest, the potion drew me back into sleep, and I let go of everything as I closed my eyes.
Chapter Twenty
Two months later, I was finally allowed out of bed. Raven and Kipa had gone home to Kalevala, Viktor and Sheila were building a house in Eselwithe, Yutani had opted to stay over in Annwn for the time being and was hanging around with some of the mages who were doing their best to rig up a communications system with several of the other realms, Angel had moved into a cottage near DJ and his foster family—also in Eselwithe—and Talia was working as Herne’s private secretary.
Herne and I were preparing to journey back through the portals to oversee that everything we needed had been packed up, ready to be delivered through the portals. I was adjusting fairly well to my new status, though it felt so odd to think of myself as a goddess. On one hand, it didn’t feel like a lot had changed. On the other hand, everything had.
I no longer needed to eat often—though I still did, out of my sheer love of food. I didn’t get winded or tired, my magic seemed stronger and yet more unstable than ever, and if I cut myself or hurt myself, I healed up faster than I could ever imagine healing. Oh, things still smarted, but I was able to roll with the punches.
“Are you ready for this?” Herne asked.
I nodded. I was carrying Serafina and my quiver of what was left of the allentar bolts. “Yeah, I think I need to see for myself what’s going on—so that I don’t keep thinking of my home the way it used to be.”
Herne looked grim. “It’s not pleasant, so be warned.”
We rode our horses—mine was a black Friesian I had named Bolt—to the portal and then, leaving them with the guard, leapt through. Herne seemed much more relaxed since I had passed through the Gadawnoin, and I realized it was because he wasn’t afraid I’d be killed. Now he could focus on things the way he needed to, without worrying about me all the time.
As we arrived in the park behind Herne’s house, Orla, the portal keeper, gave us a tight smile. “Things are bad, be cautious.”
“How bad?”
“Bad enough that Cernunnos is having me seal this portal for now and return home. I’ll go after
you return to Annwn.” He shivered. “The Luminous Warriors have taken over the United Coalition, as you know. The rest of the representatives are there, but in name only.”
I shivered. Even the air felt different, though it was probably my imagination. As we hurried down to Herne’s house, we saw the members of Cernunnos’s staff working to pack up the last of Herne’s belongings. We toured the nearly empty house.
“Are you selling it?” I asked.
He shook his head. “No, we’ll seal it up and keep it, should we be able to come back. Maybe the dragons will get tired of this game and go home. That’s always a possibility.”
“Unless they decide that they prefer human flesh to cows and other animals.” I shook my head soberly. “It’s amazing what a few months can do.”
“Come on, let’s drive over to your house and make certain they have everything set.” He motioned for me to get in the Expedition.
I stared out the window as we drove along the rain-slicked streets. It was mid-April, and the spring rains were in full swing. Here and there we saw people hurrying past, and life almost seemed normal except for the look in their eyes that said, Don’t approach, get out of my way.
I had put my phone on to charge the moment we arrived in the house, and now I scrolled through the news, my heart sinking. There was some sort of lottery that had been instituted by the Luminous Warriors, and people were entering for chances to win trips to the Forgotten Kingdom. I had a feeling that would be the last vacation they would ever take.
I thought about calling Ashera, but she had visited us in Annwn and brought the news that the Celestial Wanderers and the Mountain Dreamers were going undercover over here, those who hadn’t returned to the Forgotten Kingdom. The ones returning had some plan to set up a trap for the Luminous Warriors but we weren’t privy to it.
Veil of Stars: A Wild Hunt Novel, Book 17 Page 19