our songs, our places, without you
trevor capiro
(c) 2019 Trevor Capiro. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, in whole or in part, in any format, without prior written permission from the copyright holder.
Dedicated to everyone who has ever wished they could take back the love they gave to someone who didn’t deserve it.
CHAPTERS
Chapter One
our songs
Chapter Two
our places
Chapter Three
without you
Chapter Four
healing
Chapter One
our songs
you said
it was our song
perfect
just like us
i was a fool
for ever believing you
i used to look at you
and feel
a deep longing
now i look at photos of us
and wonder how
i was so blind
that i couldn’t see
what was right in front of me…
i wish i could travel
back in time
and tell
the younger version of myself
not to worry, think, and cry
far too much
about you
the pain
was never
worth it
don’t fuck with my love.
i will give you
everything i have
but if you hurt me
i will never
f o r g e t
i gave you
love
affection
sex
& energy
you gave me
pain
heartbreak
tears
& trust issues.
i wish
i could tell my heart
what my brain has known
for so long
you
are nothing but pain
to me
your compliments
were like candy
temporarily sweet
to the tongue
but bitter
to the heart
in the long run
maybe i deserved
all of the heartbreak
you caused me;
after all,
i was foolish enough
to give my heart
to someone
so cruel.
in the end
nothing on this planet
matters
more than the simple
human moments
in day to day life
i am still here
still standing
despite
your best
efforts
do you really
want to date him
or are you just
lonely?
tear down the walls between us.
let’s make it right
and try
to start again.
if i could get on a plane
tomorrow
and start a whole new life
with no trace
of your memory
believe me, i would
all the songs
we sang together
all the lyrics
that meant so much
to us
you threw it all away
and now these songs
i once loved
are poison to my ears
do not accept
anything less
than all the love
you deserve
if you’re just in it when its easy
you’re not really in it
at all.
i spent too long
thinking about
how good i would feel
if you finally
came to your senses
and begged to have me back
now i realize
i wasted too many good moments
thinking about you
when you
if they don’t care enough
to text you back
and reassure you
that they care
they’re just not worth it.
i fell too fast
you laughed
as i drowned
you never cared about me
you only cared
about what you could get from me.
i wish
i could forget you
but instead
the thoughts of you
are burning
like an eternal flame
in my mind
nothing reveals
a man’s weakness
like the way
he is threatened
by a woman
who is not entranced
by his bullshit
if only your actions
loved me
the way
your words did
we could still be
happy
right now
Chapter Two
our places
i hate this town
but more than that
i hate the way
i used to love it
until
you ruined it for me
now i cannot even walk
down my home street
without running in
to memories of you
all you can do
is live your life
day by day
not worrying
too much
about tomorrow
do not waste your time
on someone
who swears they will change
but never does
their lies
will only get worse
as time goes on
last night i saw you
sitting in the cafe
by the window
with someone else
already moved on
replacing me
in the exact spot
we used to sit
it pains me to see
how easy it was
for you to move on
make this the year
of cutting toxic people
out of your life
you were never in love with me
you were just lonely.
you cannot chase after
someone else
without losing
pieces
of yourself
along the way
i wish i saw your selfishness
for what it was
instead of mistaking it
for love
do not be afraid
to be
a work in progress
starry night
was not painted in an instant
and your perfect life
will take time, too.
every tear
you made me cry
every kiss
i wasted on you
each one was a lesson
that i will never forget.
you are enough
you are enough
you are enough
you are enough
you are enough
never stop believing this
plant it so deeply
in your mind
that no one
can take it away rom you
memories of your touch
haunt my skin
the hairs on my arms
stand up
in the
exact places
your fingers
used to rest
i thought
we were in this
together
apparently
it was just me
carrying the weight
of both of us
on my shoulders
some apologies
cannot be accepted
sometimes the pain
is too powerful
to be painted over
so easily
why does everyone
have to leave?
i wish i could feel
anything
as deeply
as i feel
the heartbreak
of losing you
as i let you go
i knew i was letting go
of the best
and worst
thing
i’ve ever had.
i fell in love
with you
but it turns out
that was just
a version of you
you made for me
to get what you wanted
i get attached too easily
i love too hard, too fast
but i can’t believe
i was dumb enough to believe you
when you said
“i love you”.
you cannot truly heal
while you are looking to others
for healing
true healing
must come from within
i used to think
i would never feel complete
without you
now i wonder
how i ever let you
keep me down
for so long
my insecurities
believed you
when you screamed at me
that i would always need you
your love
was poisoned chocolate
tasting so sweet
but hurting so terribly.
i will never get an explanation
from you
for why i wasn’t good enough
and it’s time
i accepted that
do not waste
your rays of sunshine
on seeds
which will never bloom
if he lets you
go to bed
upset
he doesn’t care
about you
i wish i wasn’t so good
at ruining
good things
Chapter Three
without you
all those sad songs
i used to skip
suddenly
mean the world to me
when i think of you
a life without risk
is not a life at all
freedom, to me
means finally
letting go
of you.
i hope that time
shows you
how much you lost
when you let go
of me
you were a drug
my veins craved more
of you
even though my mind knew
you did nothing but hurt me
you cannot heal
a broken bone
if you never get up
from where you fell
you cannot heal
a broken heart
if you never leave
the one who hurt you
i should have paid
more attention
to all the little clues
you showed
i wish i could take
a handful of balloons
and float away
to another place
and start
a new life
i want to leave you
but i know
before long
i would find myself
sending you texts
in moments of weakness
reopening wounds
that had only just begun
to heal
if you’re wondering
if it’s time to move on
it is.
i can’t say that i regret
our time together
for although it hurt
more than anything
it also taught me
more lessons
than anything else.
never beg someone
to be part of your life.
if you have to beg them,
they don’t deserve
your time, love, or energy.
stop holding on
to things of the past
there is no use
in re-opening old wounds
that could’ve healed long ago
if you left them alone
i traced a finger
along your freckles
as if i was tracing constellations
in the stars
it hurts to lose
your greatest comfort
your arms were a home to me
and now i wander the streets
aimless and hurt
if you love someone
just tell them
life is short
there’s no use
in missing out
on living it to the fullest.
there is no greater feeling
than knowing
that you’re doing just fine
without someone
who you used to need.
your time is too valuable
to waste
on people
who can’t make up their mind
if they want you or not
it’s okay to protect your heart
and refuse to take chances on people
who are just going to let you down
i am tired of holding back what i really want to say. i am tired of pushing my tongue down instead of speaking my mind. from now on i will never silence myself again. i will never change myself for others. i will never compromise my own happiness for someone else.
to my future self, this i promise you: i will give you the freedom you always dreamed of.
do me a favor
and leave me alone
if you’re only planning
on using me
and breaking my heart.
the greatest struggle
of getting over someone
is staying strong
keeping your mind off of them
and suddenly
out of the blue
something reminds you of them
and suddenly
you’re hurting
all over again
sadness hurts
but it is necessary
just as a wound
must be cleaned
before it can heal
so you must be sad
before your heart can heal
and be ready
to love again
Chapter Four
healing
if it takes
the rest of my life
i will slowly chip away
at your hold on my mind
until one day
i will wake up
without the curse
of thoughts of you
and on that day
i will rejoice
knowing that i
am truly free
at last
don’t fall in love
with people
who are still in love
with someone else
all they’re doing
is looking
for pieces of who they want
in you
i wish i could make
that pretty perfect life
for us
in real life
as easily as i do
in every careless daydream
your smile<
br />
is the most beautiful sunrise
you are the only one
you truly need
the worst thing
you can do
for yourself
is settle
Our Songs, Our Places, Without You Page 1