by Ana Calin
I should probably feel ashamed, regretful, maybe even a little scared, but the huge picture of Radek and me in the middle of the journal fills me with happiness. I can think of no better way to start the day but remembering the deeply intimate way we loved each other last night.
It’s a picture where I’m arching my chest out, head against his shoulder, lips slightly parted and eyes rolled back at the pleasure that he’s giving me. It’s clear that his hand, disappearing under the bar counter, is masturbating me under my dress. The look on his face sends a thrill through me that stops right in my core—he looks intensely at me, as if my pleasure is the most compelling thing he ever saw.
Lazarus drops into the armchair right by the mirror across from my bed.
“I didn’t think I’d ever say this, but you’re lucky that vampiress girlfriend of his, Irina, has made a statement in your favor.”
My head snaps up at him. “Made a statement in my favor? What do you mean?”
He motions with his head to my bedside table, where he dropped a pile of other papers.
“I think it was in Helga Says. The vampiress declares that she and Radek have an open relationship, so his ‘meaningless escapade’ last night doesn’t affect their plans for a future together.”
“Plans for a future together?” I repeat, lunging and sifting through the journals until I find Helga Says. My heart beats wildly.
I turn the pages so fast that I rip some of them until I finally discover the article. Irina beams in a picture as if nothing, her hand up, acting like a gorgeous Hollywood blonde greeting her fans. The headline reads: The Carpathian prince’s official girlfriend not worried about affair—‘It’s only sex.’
There are comments from people who pretend to know the prince’s history, giving their opinion on this. Rosanna Fielding—the surgically enhanced brunette reporter who asked the prince about his private life at the conference when I first met him almost six years ago—reminds of that day, in which he said Cupid’s arrow hadn’t hit him yet. She says she’s seen the prince together with Irina, and he’d been acting in love.
A feeling of betrayal spreads like a disease inside of me. I was right to feel like a cheap whore last night, because that’s what I really was to him.
Slapping the journal on top of the pile, I toss off the duvet, swing my legs over the edge of the bed and head to the bathroom without minding Lazarus’ open mouth. I don’t care that I’m only wearing a satin camisole and panties, half my buttocks out for him to see. Radek shouldn’t care either, should he? I was just a fling. Sadly for me, though, every step I take towards the bathroom reminds me of last night, the soreness between my legs and the tender flesh around my clitoris that he’d been licking long and hard.
“The Russian vampiress is right, last night didn’t mean anything,” I throw bitterly over my shoulder.
There’s a long pause from Lazarus. I guess he needs a few moments to gather his thoughts. After all, he just saw me half naked. I’m halfway through brushing my teeth when he speaks again.
“Then why did you sleep with him?”
I look at him in the mirror. He leans against the doorframe of my bathroom. Despite the white cream and the sunglasses, which he suitably wears with a black tank top that fits well on his broad-shouldered torso and with his ripped jeans, the pain is clear in his features.
I spit out the toothpaste, clean my mouth and lean with my hands on the sides of the basin, keeping my eyes on Lazarus in the mirror. I can feel Radek’s presence beginning to radiate from it, the heaviness of his power, even the warmth of his body. I grin wickedly, eyes still on Lazarus.
“Sex was only a bargaining currency.” My words are clear, my attitude self-assured, because I’m all too aware that Radek is listening.
Now that Radek has seen I’m wearing only the camisole, my hair messy and my makeup still smudged from yesterday, looking like a tramp, I turn to face Lazarus. He’s removed his sunglasses, since the sun doesn’t reach the bathroom, only the bedroom, and looks me up and down, uncertain what to do. Sure, my posture with my back at the basin, hands on the sides of it, is pretty inviting.
“Radek cannot take any woman seriously,” I explain to Lazarus. “It’s not in him, he’s had too many. How about you, Lazarus?”
“Me?” He blinks, confused, pointing to himself with his index finger. “I, what do you mean?”
“We never talked about this,” I invite. “Your sex life. I’m sorry, I’ve been too busy with my career these past five years, also too busy healing after what happened with Radek back in the Carpathians, but now I’m cured.” I love saying that, aware that Radek is watching and listening from behind the mirror. I push myself off the basin and start walking seductively toward Lazarus. “I think I’m ready for someone else.”
A cold wind stops me in my tracks. There’s a whirl behind me that messes my hair. Next thing I know, I’m face to face with a terrible looking Radek, his hair messy, his eyes puffy and his shirt open and hanging as if he’s been drinking all night. But Radek can’t get drunk, so he must have indulged in some other kind of miserable-look inducing behavior.
He winds a powerful arm around my waist, yanking me close. “You can’t do this, you cannot do this.”
This is the point where Lazarus loses it. He stomps over, and grabs Radek’s shoulder. Were Radek a normal man, Lazarus would turn him around as easily as he’d maneuver a ragdoll, because Lazarus is a vampire, which makes him stronger than any human man. But Radek is the Prince of Midnight, and he’s angry as hell. He resists Lazarus’s strength, keeping his eyes on mine with a menace, his glare saying, ‘you’ll pay for wanting to screw him.’
Panic clogs my throat, but before I get to even understand what’s happening Radek turns to face Lazarus, who’s just yanked the towel rail from the wall, whips it around in his hand like a samurai, then launches it towards the prince. Radek catches and snaps it like a twig.
No matter how used one is to supernatural creatures and their perks, this would make anyone cry out and seek protection in the bathtub.
I’m pressing myself to the wall, holding to the slide bar, as Lazarus rips out the basin and crashes it over the side of Radek’s head. I scream, but the basin just splinters against Radek’s stony cheek. He lets it come, making no move to stop the blow, after which he grins at the wide-eyed, clueless Lazarus.
“My turn.”
The vampire inspects Radek’s face with what-the-hell all over his chalk-cream painted face. He may have seen a lot in the Hidden World and be used to many things, but crashing a basin over a guy’s face, and not moving him an inch, or cause at least a scratch, is understandably dumbfounding.
Radek proves class even in a fight. Though he’s obviously physically very strong, he doesn’t make a move to attack Lazarus using his body. The air around him starts moving in ripples as he emanates energy, his eyes demonic as his irises go electric blue in contrast with the red rims around the edges, making me think of a poltergeist. Lazarus falls to one knee under the pressure, baring his fangs—for the first time ever in front of me.
The scene unfolding before my eyes seems a movie, but at the same time I can feel the energy coming from it, hearing Lazarus’ growls, seeing his canines elongating and his eyes constricting into the vertical slits of a cat. He reminds me of the demons from movies with exorcists. I’ve never seen him like this before, and I’m scared as hell.
Following an impulse I grab the showerhead, turn on the water and, holding the shower hose, I point it towards the two men. Lazarus jumps to his feet, and Radek holds up a hand to stop the water from hitting his face.
Soon I can turn off the tap, facing the two now soaking wet guys who seem too confused to still consider fighting each other. My eyes are inevitably drawn to Radek, whose open white shirt now clings to his ivory body with finely contoured muscles. It’s obvious how strong he is, his body forged in medieval battles, when he’d had to carry heavy mail armor, shield in one hand, sword in the other.
“Why does it even bother you, Radek?” I say, fighting my forbidden attraction to him. “Me seeing another man. You’re officially in a relationship with Irina.”
“Even so, you’re mine,” he says.
I snort, dropping the hose and climbing out of the tub. “You’ve got a nerve, prince. Not even trying to deny that all you want is to make me your whore.”
I slip on the water on the tiles, but he catches me, and our eyes meet. He looks at me like he could eat me alive.
“I am in a relationship with Irina, but there’s no way I’ll bear you being with another man. Don’t ask me to explain.”
“Son of a—” Lazarus starts towards him again, but I hold out a hand. Anger fills me with confidence.
“It’s all right Lazarus.” I turn my eyes to Radek, looking defiantly at him. “I don’t mind. Radek wants to stay in his relationship with Irina, and that’s all right.” I lower my chin, looking up at Radek from under my eyebrows now. “But if I’m your mistress, and you want to be my slave, as you said, consider that I may not always be good to you.”
Radek smiles, but it’s the smile of a man who knows pain. “Anything goes as long as you let me have you. In exchange, you’ll be part of everything I do to destroy Dracula, plus that my commitment to fight on the side of the good guys, as you like to call them, depends on your—” He grins. “Cooperation.” He makes a curt move with his head towards Lazarus. “I have a great future in store even for him, if you accept.”
“I like my life as it is, I don’t need this guy’s future,” Lazarus blurts. “Say no.”
“If I accept, it means having him on our side for good, Lazarus. Whether we like it or not, he’s the biggest gun we could hope to get our hands on.” I look at the prince again. “No more games, Radek. If you promise us your allegiance now, I will hold you to your promise forever.”
He keeps staring at me in that scary blinking-free way. “I see no problem with that. Especially because I’ll hold you to your side of the deal, as well.” Then, turning to Lazarus. “Now let me see if I got this right, Lazarus. You’d refuse your people a protector like me, only to keep the woman you desire either to yourself or, if she won’t have you, forever single. You do realize in how many ways that spells ‘selfish’, don’t you?”
Lazarus hisses, baring his teeth, and spans to throw himself at Radek, but I place myself in front of him, hand outstretched.
“No! That’s it, no more fighting. I have made my decision, and it’s final.” I turn to face Radek, to see the look on his face as I say this. “But know that I’m only doing this for the advantages.”
Radek lifts his chin, pain in his face, but with an accepting smile. I can tell that he believes me. Sure he does, he expects me to despise him after what he did to me five years ago.
“I have just one more request,” Radek says. “We will have to keep the affair secret. I lost my head last night, it having been our first together after all this time, but I’ll control myself from now on. We can’t get caught again.”
I raise an eyebrow. “You especially want it to remain a secret to Irina, right?”
“I’d rather it did. A boyfriend’s affairs always hurt, no matter how much the woman tries to mask it.”
Boyfriend. He can be her boyfriend, but he couldn’t be mine.
“Lazarus, if you don’t mind,” he says as if he didn’t almost kill the man only moments ago. “We could start on our mission to find Dracula’s Grail today, but I’d need to at least take a shower and change before we do that. You think I could borrow some of your clothes?”
“Dracula’s Grail?” Lazarus inquires, looking puzzled from Radek to me.
“I can explain over breakfast.” I look at Radek. He’s obviously not changed since yesterday, and yet he still smells good.
Lazarus narrows his eyes.
“You just wanna get rid of me so you can have a quickie, don’t you?”
“We won’t be having sex.” I declare. “Last night was too intense, I’m sore everywhere. I need a break.” With that I head out of the bathroom, to my wardrobe. Lazarus follows me, but heads for the door.
“I’ll leave this open,” he says with a suspicious frown. “I won’t be long.”
But the idea of being alone with Radek after he goes away gives me that delicious need to do something forbidden. I throw the black top and jogging pants that I plan to wear today on the bed, and extract two fresh towels from the wardrobe, walking quietly to the bathroom door.
My heart jumps when I see Radek completely naked under the shower, splinters from the basin all over the room. He already sealed the pipes that stick out from the wall where the basin has been, and I remember how much I always loved that he’s so good with his hands. My heart beats so fast I feel like a little girl peeking at her crush. When was the last time I saw him naked, that ivory skin over the finely carved muscle sinews fully bared to my eyes?
I lick my lips as Radek’s hands run through his wet hair, his eyes closed and his face exposed to the water.
“How can you still want him?” Lazarus says, startling me. I turn to see him behind me, carrying a black long-sleeve shirt and a pair of ripped jeans. “He just declared to your face that he only wants to use you for sex, even though he says he’ll be your slave. You say you’re doing it for a reason, basically sacrificing yourself, but if that’s true, why are you spying on him in the shower?”
“I’m not spying.”
He looks over my head at Radek, trying to appear contemptuous, but then some sort of mild wonder relaxes his features. Even he has to admit the Prince of Midnight has one hell of a body.
“Tell him he can keep the clothes,” Lazarus says. “Or burn them, I don’t care, I don’t want them back.” He stops one last time at the door. “Hurry up. Isolde texted she’ll be back with breakfast in twenty minutes.”
He exits but doesn’t close the door behind him.
Just as I turn around, Radek emerges from the bathroom. I try to hide how much the sight of him pleases me. He stands just inches away, naked and wet, stirring my appetite. The idea of using him again makes me cream down there.
I hold out the towel, but when he reaches for it I snatch it back. He looks at me confused, and I make a show of how I’m ogling him from head to toes. I put my index finger between his pectorals, tracing his princely body down to his cock. I bite my lip as I watch it engorge under my eyes, a big baton of muscle and veins.
“I’ll tell you a secret, Radek,” I say seductively. “One that I initially wanted to keep to myself.” I look up at his eyes to find him waiting for my words like a dog anticipating a bone. Pleasure courses through me, that look alone is enough to make me feel avenged. “The idea of you being my slave, you serving me turns me on big time.”
I have to admit the longing in my core, the pulsing between my folds, are charged with something dirty, forbidden, perverted. The chemistry between us has always been dark and intense, but the idea that he’s my slave makes me horny in a new and slightly alarming way. Knowing that we only have a few minutes to do this before Isolde is back puts butterflies in my lower belly.
I tilt my head to the side, looking at Radek full of curiosity.
“Please help me understand something. I know you’re not in love with me—you proved it five years ago when you ditched me, and you proved it today, saying you wanted to keep your official girlfriend, Irina. But then why do you want to fuck me so badly? I mean, let’s be honest, you can have any woman you want. Instead, you pledge your allegiance to the good side of the Hidden World in exchange for an affair with me. More than that, you want me to go all dominatrix on you. Why?”
He walks backwards inside the bathroom, causing me to follow, the remains of the basin crunching under my slippers. He leans against the wall, allowing me space to undress and climb inside the bathtub. But I make no move to undress, keeping my eyes on him, and on his nakedness. His beauty is so unique it seems a sacrilege to look away from him when I have him so close. I wan
t to take full advantage.
“Are you sure you want to know?” he says.
“Positive.”
“There will be nothing sweet about my answer.”
I sit on the edge of the bathtub, steeling myself—and remembering our night at Magda’s place years ago, when he still loved me, the way we pleasured each other in her rustic bathroom. “I’m ready for it.”
“All right. The very first moment I saw you, your pure beauty, your innocence, everything your face expressed drew my attention. Soon, I had the most twisted, dirtiest, and yet most soulful fantasies with you. I wanted your mouth and I wanted your ass, and whenever I imagined something really dirty, like having a woman tied down, spread-eagled in chains for me to use as I pleased, I’d see you. Whenever I’d imagine a woman sucking my cock while I’m driving, I’d see you. Whenever I imagined a woman using a dildo on herself, I’d see you.
“I thought it would be different after we broke up, I thought I’d had enough of your body, but surprise—I hadn’t. I enjoyed the freedom for a while, but then I started to think of you again when I jerked off. I missed submitting you to my perversities and twisted desires, but there was also something new—I wanted you to submit me to yours. I became obsessed with you, Juliet.”
Obsessed. Forbidden pleasure courses through my veins, elating me. I don’t think this would feel sweeter if he told me he loved me. The idea of him obsessed with me, submitted to my desires, the idea of dominating him, using him.... My panties are wet.
I walk to him, aware of the makeup from yesterday still smeared around my eyes, my hair still a mess. If I don’t look dirty and twisted now, I don’t know when I ever did.