They both continue to eat, when Jesse this time talks about something on his mind.
“Russell, you’re so full of shit. You don’t play around like that. You kissed me because whether you want to admit it or not, you possibly feel sorry for me, or…forget it. Ugh.”
Russell finishes his sandwich and starts to drink the rest of his coffee. When the basketball game takes an advertising break, he turns the channel to CNN. He then while having his vision directed at the television, replies to Jesse very harshly.
“Right, that’s exactly what I said. I only kissed you because you were being a whiny bitch. If I said no, you would have had a fit and cried. You’re like a damn woman, Jesus Christ. I was also a little drunk, I was tipsy all last night to be honest, and so you were you. So enough.”
Jesse finishes his food, and turns to look at Russell watching television. While still watching the screen, Russell proceeds to attack Jesse.
“I want my handkerchief back too. I saw you snag it last night. Yeah. I never said you could keep it, and that’s one of my favorite ones too, so I need it back, right now please.”
While drinking his coffee, Jesse then goes through his tote bag. As he is going through it, Russell takes his eyes off the television, and watches him. Jesse then pulls Russell’s handkerchief out the bag, but instead of handing it to him, he swings it in the air teasing him with it. Russell then looks puzzled and tries to grab it form Jesse who swings it back from him.
“Oh you mean this handkerchief? With my tears, spit and snot on it? No, I’m going to keep it. Since you want to play around, I’m going to play around. Now we’re Even Steven.”
Jesse then puts the handkerchief in his pocket. Following that, Russell storms into his bedroom and comes out with a leather belt and with force, swats it at the back of the couch which causes Jesse to quickly get up and run to the other side of the living room in fear.
“I said give me my fucking handkerchief back Jesse.”
Jesse then stops running around the room for a minute, and laughs at Russell. He then notices Russell looking unapprovingly about this situation, and stops laughing. He walks over where Russell is, pretending to hand him the handkerchief, but quickly swings it away.
“I don’t care if you whip me with that belt, Russell you used to scare me, but you don’t anymore. You’re not getting the handkerchief back, so forget it.”
Russell then scoffs to himself, and shakes his head.
“Yeah because you’re sadistic. I’m sadistic at times as well, but you’re completely different. I don’t know what’s the deal with you sometimes.”
Jesse looks him straight in the eyes and begins to mock him.
“Go ahead Russell, hit me with the belt, I’m not scared of you.”
Russell hesitates for a few seconds, but then in a swift manner playfully beats him on the behind softly with the belt. Jesse then laughs at Russell.
“That hurt so much. NOT! I knew it. Russell. I make you so weak, ha-ha.”
They both continue to stare at each other in silence for a few seconds, before Russell raises the belt up in the air, and responds to Jesse.
“You should know that was only a test, the next one won’t be like that at all.”
Jesse is not at all convinced and doesn’t believe him, and starts to laugh at him. Russell then throws the belt on the ground, and crosses his arms together, grinning.
“You can have my handkerchief, but don’t lose it okay. That’s the handkerchief that I had in my pocket during everything that went down yesterday, so it’s a piece of history if you think about it. I trust you with it, so don’t lose it, alright?”
After Jesse nods his head, Russell goes to the bedroom to put the belt away. Jesse then takes a seat on the couch and watches the television set, although not being interested as to the particular program that is being shown. Russell returns to the living room and sits beside Jesse. Upon returning, he changes the channel back to the basketball game. Both of men sit in silence on the couch with Jesse being extra obedient watching the basketball game as well. Jesse then remaining on the couch goes through his tote bag, and decides to check his phone. Russell continues to watch the television ignoring Jesse. Jesse gets himself up from the couch and walks to the other side of Russell’s living room with a concerned look after looking at his phone. He starts to listen to his voicemails, having a worried and shocked expression on his face as listens on the phone. He covers his mouth and starts to pace back and forth around the room. Jesse is beginning to panic to a dangerous extent, feeling depressed and roaming around the room feeling anxious. After Jesse hangs up his phone and puts it in his pocket, Russell looks up at him and starts to feel concerned.
“What’s wrong? Something happened, so just go on ahead and tell me.”
Jesse remains silent towards Russell and storms back to the sofa area to grab his tote bag located under the coffee table. Jesse then roughly walks towards Russell’s front door. He stops himself at the door, and out of anger, Jesse throws his tote bag on the floor, and begins to cry. Russell who’s watching him the entire time gets up from the sofa and rubs him on the shoulder. Jesse cries out to Russell.
“You need to take me home now; I’m might be getting evicted, I don’t know. My landlord doesn’t listen, and she’s a lunatic. It’s a complex situation I’m in.”
Jesse then leans his head inside Russell’s chest, as Russell comforts him by running his hands through his hair. Jesse continues to cry.
“I’m usually good with finances, I always pay my rent; but I did refuse to pay this month’s rent which was due yes, for good reason. The landlord like I said, this woman is just an evil witch. The building I’m in isn’t fit for people to rent out of, and she refuses to fix the issues. So I refused to pay the rent until she did. I was looking for a new place to stay, and was gonna move out anyways. With what happened yesterday, I totally forgot I was dealing with this.”
Russell continues to embrace and comfort Jesse, as Jesse explains more of his troubles.
“She just left me a voice mail this morning, and she basically said all of my stuff is going to be in the hallways, and if I want my security deposit back, to come and see her. All of what she is going is technically legal as well, so. This is not fair at all, nothing is going right.”
Jesse continues to hold onto Russell for a minute, and then separates from him. He proceeds to grab his bag off the floor, but Russell grabs it, and hands it to him. Russell then immediately grabs his keys from his pocket, and shuts the television off. He walks back towards the doorway and notices that Jesse is still crying. He stops to talk to him.
“I can take you there right now. Don’t worry, everything will be fine.”
They both hug again for a minute, before walking out of Russell’s apartment. They both head towards the parking lot of Russell’s complex. While walking, Jesse looks down towards the ground ashamed of himself feeling much sorrow. Under so much anxiety to even give Russell eye contact, thinking as though he’s a burden towards him. Jesse is under a great deal of stress, and trying to keep himself together. Although he has much on his mind he isn’t talking to Russell at all. Russell is walking beside him, also staying silent. They eventually reach Russell’s car, and they both get in. Jesse continues to pan down at the floor, and continues to stay silent and cry. Russell shows empathy and tries to comfort him.
“Hey, it’s going to be fine alright. Don’t cry. I don’t like to see you sad okay? So don’t cry, it’s gonna be fine. Whatever happens, I’m here for you. Okay?”
Jesse continues to cry and look down towards the floor. Russell takes his phone out of his jacket pocket, and charges his phone in the socket located under the car stereo. He glances at Jesse feeling very concerned over him, and shakes his head. Russell directly following that, goes through a pocket located above next to his sun visors and pulls out his aviator sunglasses. He then starts the engine. He backs out of the parking structure and heads towards the road. Jesse looks up from th
e floor to stare at Russell who’s driving. Jesse tries to toughen himself up, and reaches in his tote bag to pull out a pair of sunglasses. He then turns the car stereo on, laying back in the seat. Jesse while looking out of the window, notices how much of a clear and perfect sunny day it is. In any normal circumstances, it’s a lovely Saturday afternoon. The California weather in this particular day is really working overtime. It is quite warm, but it’s not that humid either, as there is wind that intermittently shifts the air. The temperature is clearly perfect and this day strictly has immaculate weather. Jesse continues to peek out the window as Russell focused on driving. He looks at all the palm trees, which stand unbelievably tall. These types of trees are plenty in Los Angeles, and are a wonderful sight to look at. Jesse thinks to himself, how this would be lovely beach weather. On a warm day such as this, being able to go to the beach being trapped in a view such as that. To be captivated by the beauty of the ocean waves and the scent of the sea. Feeling comfortable and looking at the beauty of that scene. Jesse continued to get lost in his thoughts, before he is interrupted by Russell.
“I don’t mean to fire you up, but you never told me where you live.”
Jesse looks at Russell feeling very puzzled. He turns forward before responding to him.
“I thought I did. I’m pretty sure I told you were I lived didn’t I?”
Russell takes one hand off the steering wheel and rubs the back of his head, and then laughs to himself. He then glances over at Jesse still smiling.
“No you didn’t. You just said you lived in Inglewood. You never told me an exact address or street you lived on. You simply said you lived in Inglewood.”
Jesse then covers his mouth with his hands and looks ashamed. He then without asking him grabs Russell’s phone and opens up a map application. He starts to enter in information through the phone, and sets Russell’s phone back under the car stereo. Jesse then turns his head towards Russell who is focused on the road, and talks to him.
“I hope you don’t mind, I went through the GPS on your phone and put in the exact location. It’s extremely hard to get into, it’s off Crenshaw and there are a lot of one way and dead end streets in South LA, so you have to be careful and know what you’re doing.”
Russell looks at Jesse and grins at him. Then turns his head back forward.
“Well yes I do mind, that’s my phone and that’s my property. I have personal things on my phone. But I trust you and it’s okay. I’m gonna let that slide this time.”
Jesse smiles at him and returns to looking out the window. Russell continues to drive towards their destination, listening to the GPS system shout out directions. It instructs him to get on the highway. When exiting the highway as instructed by the GPS system, he returns to the surface streets. As they both are soon approaching where Jesse lives, Jesse starts to be alarmed over something he didn’t consider up until this moment. He starts to become scared, and nervous and afraid to bring it up. There are many controversial social stigmas going through his mind as he is not sure how to bring them up. Most importantly, he is not sure if Russell is aware of the area that he lives in. Being that Russell lives in a more simplistic part of Los Angeles, and Jesse does not. Jesse stays silent about it, and tries to brainstorm how he can relay these thoughts to Russell, in the most proper way. When Russell reaches a stoplight, Jesse uses that time to mention it. He turns his head towards Russell, to mention something to him.
“Russ, I need to be honest with you. The part of town where we are going is kinda rough. I’ve been robbed and had guns pointed at me and all types of shit. There are gangs, and you will most likely see gang members walking about. I might be okay, but because you’re a white guy, I don’t know. If someone says something or if you see something don’t take it personal.”
The light changes and Russell proceeds down the road, and responds to Jesse.
“I wish someone would try something. I do play football and I’m a pretty big guy, so to me that’s foolish for me to be insecure like that. I appreciate the concern though.”
After hearing Russell say that, Jesse has an unsure look on his face. Still concerned over Russell’s profile and if he was truly understood, Jesse goes more in depth to the point he was trying to make, giving somewhat dismissive truths about Russell.
“Russell, that’s not quite what I meant. You might think that, but you’re never lived in the hood. You’re just a white guy from Wisconsin who lives in downtown LA. Yeah you listen to rap music, but you still have no idea, you don’t. All my life I’ve been accustomed to this lifestyle, and you haven’t. I’m just telling you to watch out. That’s all.”
Russell reaches another stoplight and fires back at Jesse disagreeing with him.
“Hey, stop all that bullshit. All of that is going in one ear, and out the other for me. I don’t think like that, you shouldn’t either. Again, I appreciate you looking out for me, but now you’re starting to mix things up. You have a very negative liberal mindset to think like that. What you just said is also kinda racist too. Making all of those assumptions. Wow.”
Russell shakes his head and turns to give Jesse an aggravated look. He is confused and doesn’t know what Jesse is really trying to convey. He doesn’t truly understand, and doesn’t wish to analyze or compartmentalize any of it. Russell continues down the road, with Jesse looking guilty with this head looking down towards the floor. Jesse was afraid that the conversation would turn into something like that, and still feels that Russell doesn’t understand the nature of the topic. Sometimes the truth does hurt, and certain agendas need to be explained in a certain form in order to get their correct meanings and value across. It becomes difficult to explain it in a way, so the other party isn’t offended or feels damaged because of it. Jesse continues to peek out the window as Russell continues to drive. He takes peeks at Russell every few seconds, fermenting his own personal thoughts and feelings. Perhaps Jesse is making snap dismissive judgments and stereotypes, that don’t merit anything. Jesse wonders why Russell feels so confident in himself towards the matter, yet he himself doesn’t. Ultimately feeling that maybe he clearly just didn’t get his point across in a clear and concise manner as much as he wanted to. Jesse then sits back with his arms folded, feeling silenced and censored. Russell turns his head towards Jesse, and notices his body language. He returns this by scoffing to himself and shaking his head. Standing by his own personal stance, that Jesse is possibly generalizing and undermining Russell as well. Not at all understanding why Jesse would quickly turn to opinions and thoughts like that. Russell once more turns to look at Jesse, who still has head down, and pats his shoulder. Jesse looks up at him and smiles.
A couple minutes after that, Russell arrives down the neighborhood where Jesse lives. As he’s driving down this neighborhood, he is experiencing a culture shock to himself. He immediately becomes struck in his mental thoughts, and starts to almost feel that possibly Jesse was right. He notices the unusual display of graffiti on practically every building. He notices a high amount of vagabonds sleeping in the street. Russell then observes the amount of defunct and closed storefronts, and is completely stunned and shocked. He looks at all the condemned houses and residential buildings that are in terrible condition. He starts to think to himself how could this stretch of town get to this type of level and state? It didn’t make any sense to him at all, and a rush of confusion goes through Russell’s head. Alternatively, Russell then starts to feel glad about himself thinking of the positives towards this; that he was immersed and introduced to this type of experience. He gains a bigger picture and idea towards something that before witnessing, he had very minor prior knowledge on. Russell went back to the conversation he had minutes ago with Jesse. Thinking to himself that although he was not completely agreeing with what everything Jesse mentioned, starts to understand and discover a different point of view, and listening to another person’s observations on a particular issue is still beneficial. Russell steadily drives through the neighborhood, and inv
estigates more of the area.
Jesse grew up attached to life like this, so none of this is a surprise to him. Jesse just knew that he had to look at it through Russell’s eyes as well, and offer sentiment’s based on that. As they are proceeding through the street, Russell becomes more and more amazed and surprised at his findings and new discoveries. Jesse turns his head towards Russell; could tell by the look on Russell’s face that he seems frozen by this.
“Yeah, this is the hood Russell. Welcome. I tried my best to explain it to you, but you needed to see this. You can think what you want to think, but I tried to tell you.”
Russell continues to scan around the area taking in everything that he is witnessing. They finally reach their destination; outside of Jesse’s building. Russell parks his car on the side of the building, and they both exit the car. As they are approaching the building, Jesse and Russell remove their sunglasses. Jesse then takes a look at the landlord’s window, and notices that she is peeking at the both of them through her curtain. She quickly closes the curtains when she is spotted. Jesse continues to the entrance of his building unlocking the front door. Russell looks around the apartment building which has many tenants playing loud music in their units, and a bunch of children running up and down the staircases. He also sees a homeless man sleeping on the far end of the hallway. Jesse takes a look at Russell observing the building, and taking note of his puzzled face.
They both continue to proceed down the hall, with Russell being in shock. A short while later, they finally reach Jesse’s apartment. When they arrive at his door, Jesse reaches into his bag, and pulls his keys out. Unfortunately, he starts to struggle to unlock the door. He puts the key into the door, but it will not turn or open. Russell watches him have trouble with this, but he stays silent not knowing what to say. Jesse continues to try to unlock the door with no success. Starting to panic, Jesse then realizes that the landlord has possibly changed the locks on the door, so that he wouldn’t be able to get in. He explains this to Russell.
Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained Page 14