“She’s a bitch,” I said, responding to Hera’s question about my mother.
Yep. Nonsense.
The council fell into silence. I heard someone coughing. Another goddess snorted. The awkwardness stretched on, until Hera broke it. “Well, that is one way to put it. Not the most accurate.”
“I just want to know why she’s starting another war. Does she have reason to?” Why was I trying to find excuses for her? Did I not want to believe that my family was scum?
“They are still bitter about losing the last war, and so they want to destroy everything.”
“They really just seemed bored. The Otherside did look incredibly boring.”
“Are you on their side? Even after what you’d seen?”
I shook my head. The goddesses hated my parents with a vengeance, and if I showed the wrong allegiance, they would suspect me too much to let me into their circle.
“We are giving you an opportunity to join our ranks,” Hera said. “Only because we think you might prove useful in winning the war.”
Only then did I notice that Agness, the goddess of flora, sat beside Hera. Agness had been in charge of running the sanctuary. She was in the shadows, and so I didn’t notice her properly. She shook her head at Hera’s proposal. Agness had never truly been on my side. She’d wanted me expelled from the Sanctuary ever since I joined. I hated her. It seemed like at every opportunity, she wished to get in my way.
She had, however, helped me save Devon. I ought to be thankful to her for that.
“And how is that?” I asked. “How can I serve this council?” Other than blurting out interesting—but useless—plans, of course.
“Aphrodite and Ares draw much of their extra powers from the stolen chiasma,” Hera said. “We believe that as a full goddess, since you’re tied to the entity, you’d be able to pull that part of the chiasma back from them and return it to its original place. With that, Aphrodite and Ares would lose their footing in this war, and they won’t be difficult to subdue. Winning would be easy for us, especially with the entire power of the chiasma on our side. Agness also enlightened me about the issue of the girls in the Sanctuary turning gray. Once the chiasma is restored, that problem would be fixed.”
I stilled. Her words took a long moment to filter through my mind. “You want to turn me into a goddess? What’s with the sudden change? Before this, you guys kind of wanted me dead.”
Agness spoke this time. “We thought that if we kept you weak, Aphrodite wouldn’t be able to use you to come back. But your mother has returned now. And it’s better to fight fire with fire. There has been a change of plans.”
“But I’m not a half-blood, am I?”
Agness nodded. “Your magic signature is strange. You’re not a half-blood, but not a goddess either. We think it’s the effect of the chiasma inside you. It makes you seem like an in-between. A goddess in transition, perhaps?”
Nervously, I took a step back. My back hit a hard wall. A second later, I realized that the hard wall was actually Theo. He gripped me by my forearms. The comfort his warmth brought gave me strength to face this madness. I was to fix a war? As awesome as I was, I wasn’t sure if I had it in me. Or maybe I just didn’t want this kind of responsibility. What if I failed and both realms combusted? It’d be a pain living with that knowledge. What were the consequences of losing? Would I lose my vassals? Would Danna be dead? Should I be concerned about Max, my stupid ex-boyfriend? Why the hell was I even thinking about him?
“Max?” Hansel asked.
“Uh, someone not important.”
His nostrils flared, and soon we were back to the matter at hand, facing Hera and her concerning proposal.
“We must do this soon,” Hera said. “Or they will summon Nyx before we do, and the realms will be destroyed.”
“Nyx?” I asked.
“The goddess of night. The end of all things. The chiasma is said to be her child, and that it is on loan from Nyx. When she returns, the chiasma will reset both worlds. We can’t let that happen.”
“Why would my mothe—Aphrodite want to have Haven and Earth destroyed? Isn’t she part of them?”
“It is perhaps not Aphrodite who is orchestrating this madness.”
“Ares?” I asked. “My father?”
Hera nodded. “He is a vassal turned to a god. The vassals are unhappy, and that was what caused the Vassal War in the first place. They wished to overthrow the current ruling system in Haven, angered by having to serve the goddesses.” Hera sighed, her chest heaving. “But, you see, the sisters of fate wove a scenario, a vision for us to see, where the males were given equal share in the ruling system.” Hera closed her eyes, paused, then continued, “The males would take over eventually. They cannot be trusted to not fall into their true natures. They wish to conquer, fight, dominate. And women would eventually be cast into the shadows. Haven would split apart, divided between the male gods of power, and chaos would abound. I love this realm. I love the people who I care for and nurture. I don’t want to see that ruined just because oafs are allowed to take over the court. Do you think Ares would stop once he is in power? Would there not be other power-hungry ingrates who’d create more wars? Males create war. That is a fact. Our lives would be much more peaceful with women in power.”
I didn’t see her point. I believed in fairness. “But you sacrifice the half-bloods.”
“A necessity to keep all things sound and calm. It is difficult to rule. Hard decisions must be made.”
“What if don’t want any part of this?”
“There is no choice.”
“Of course there is. Everybody should be given—”
“You’ll take the essence from the chiasma’s lake at sunset. Rest well. The transition is said to be painful.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but before the words slipped out, Hera dismissed me, and Clotho transported me and my vassals out of the council.
We levitated, dragged out and away from the sights of the goddesses before the door slammed behind us. The sound was so loud and abrupt that I jolted.
“I really think I should be given more time to consider this,” I said to Clotho. “That was a lot of information to process.” My parents’ desires. Nyx. Who was she? It was the first I’d heard of her, and yet her name bore so much intrigue.
“You don’t have to think about this,” Clotho said. “The decision has been made for you.”
Hearing that made me angrier. I hated having choice taken out of the equation.
“Go rest,” Clotho said, waving me off just as Hera did. “You have to be at the chiasma by this evening.”
Nine
“Give me some time alone,” I said to my vassals as we walked through the corridor. I massaged my temples and let loose a soft sigh. “I need some space to process all this.”
I saw their dejected expressions. I knew they wanted to be with me, but I didn’t have it in me to be lively and spritely at the moment. I often lived in such a carefree manner that being burned out seemed an impossibility. But so much was happening, and it was too difficult to keep up.
An ache crept up my shoulder. It accompanied the sinking sensation that had gripped me ever since Hera offered the position of goddess to me.
I couldn’t pinpoint where my unease came from.
Hansel, ready to take care of my needs, took a step forward. “If it’s an ache you’re worried about…”
“It’s not that,” I replied.
His brow furrowed. He reminded me of a puppy: overly eager, longing to serve and see that I was happy.
Everybody needed some space from time to time, even the most outgoing of people. My need for it wasn’t his fault.
I planted a kiss on his jaw. “I want to rest, that’s all, and with all of you surrounding me all the time, it’s hard to get into my own headspace. I need to think.” It was the first time I’d said something along those lines. Before all this, I wasn’t one to think much. I went with the flow, going wherever my mistakes wish
ed to take me.
But I’d just been betrayed by my own mother, and now the goddesses had done a one-eighty, wishing to turn me into one of them. I was no longer just a useless girl who was fumbling around in a strange world. I had importance. Significance.
My actions would affect too many people, and that scared me. For the first time, rather than just uselessly fumbling around with minor ukulele abilities, I had the ability to do good.
The problem was that I wasn’t certain what “good” constituted.
“All right,” Hansel said, smoothing a hand down my back. “I understand.”
They led me back to a room the goddesses had picked out for me. It had the same stained-glass windows I saw back at the council. The bed was twice the size of the dorm’s, and the sheets that covered it looked far more luxurious, as if they were made from the finest of silks. The bed was adorned with at least ten pillows, in varying sizes. There was even a chocolate fountain at the side of the room, next to a table of fruits and marshmallows.
A fucking chocolate fountain.
The goddesses really knew how to live.
I knew they didn’t have to eat to stay alive, so I guessed they’d placed the fountain there for the heck of it. They ate for fun. What else were they supposed to spend the rest of eternity doing?
Play with the lives of mortals?
I wouldn’t put that above them.
I wondered if they ever got bored from being spoiled so much. I definitely hadn’t gotten used to the excess yet. I shrugged and decided to delve into it. I walked up to the fountain, my stomach growling now that chocolate was available, and poked a marshmallow with a metal prong to pick it up.
I was about to stuff my mouth with the marshmallow when I heard a voice.
“This place is so awesome.”
Danna? What was she doing here?
I shoved the chocolate-covered marshmallow into my mouth—food always took priority—and whipped my head around. Danna walked from the balcony, facing me with a bright smile dancing across her face. “The goddesses thought you’d like some company from the Sanctuary,” she said. “You know, for support. Morale. That’s my job.” She offered a quick star jump and pumped her fists into the air. “Go, Cara, go!”
So much for time alone.
I rolled my eyes at how cringy that was, but couldn’t help but smile. It was nice knowing that a friend had my back, even though, as a half-blood, she couldn’t do much. This was a mythical, supernatural war we were looking at. There were limits to overly enthusiastic optimism, even though it was much appreciated.
“How’s everything coming along?” I asked. “You know, back at the Sanctuary, where things are supposedly more normal.” I couldn’t believe that I was calling the situation at the Sanctuary “normal.” But after meeting centaurs and selkies, entering another realm, and seeing horrific deaths, my sense of reality had been warped.
The smile on Danna’s face faltered. She moved to the bed to take a seat. In a split second, her enthusiasm trickled away. “Death,” she said.
I blew out a tired breath. “Why am I not surprised?” I looked at the chocolate fountain. I felt guilty again. There was bloodshed everywhere. Should I be letting myself enjoy anything? I set the metal prong down and sighed. “What about it?” I dragged my hand through my locks. My hair had gotten tangled, probably from all the chaos and messiness that surrounded me.
The clock situated above the bed ticked by. Time moved too quickly. There were only four more hours before the goddesses had to transport me to the chiasma’s lake. Four hours of respite. What if things were never the same after I turned into a goddess? How was the council going to use me? Why did they trust me with that power?
Something smelled fishy. Off.
Something was going to go terribly wrong, and the feeling of dread that lingered in my belly gave me nausea. I didn’t want to be turned into a goddess. Perhaps it was the way my powers reacted to the thought. There was a foreign energy inside me that grew more vibrant. Restless. It threatened to swallow me whole.
Danna tucked her hair behind her ear. “The chiasma’s been getting hungry, I think. A bunch of girls turned gray after you left. One after another. Sometimes, two in a day. We’re all terrified. I’m happy I’m out of that place. I guess it’s good that we’re friends, huh?” Danna smiled sheepishly. “Gives me an excuse to escape. There’s been nothing but constant mourning. Losing friends left and right can’t possibly be good for the psyche.”
“How’s Jeanine?” I asked. She was the bitchface I hated back at the Sanctuary.
“She’s alive,” Danna said. “Did you wish otherwise?”
I considered that question, then shook my head. As much as I hated Jeanine, I didn’t think she deserved to die. She just needed to learn some empathy.
I settled my gaze on Danna and her pigtails. Her spritely attire didn’t match the look of worry on her face.
Danna’s face had appeared in the chiasma’s lake once. We’d saved her from the terrible fate of getting her soul sucked away by Hel. Did that protect her from getting chosen again?
But even though my friend was safe, it wasn’t good knowing that the rest of the school was dying.
“The chiasma’s getting hungry,” I said. “Maybe it senses that its stolen part is returning. It’s getting agitated.” Just like the power inside me.
It felt like the kid in me, the girl who’d always gone on rampages and wanted to kill things, was struggling to escape. I’d suppressed her, kept her in the darker corners of my mind. But she was always there. Waiting. Ready for the day when she’d destroy all that I loved and had grown to love.
If I hurt my vassals…
I recalled that time I hurt Devon.
If she came out, a part of me knew that history would repeat itself, but in ways that were unimaginably more terrible.
“Cara?” Danna asked. “Are you okay? The chocolate’s dripping everywhere.”
“Hm?”
I glanced down, suddenly feeling more awake. While getting bothered by my fears, I’d become lost in my thoughts and hadn’t realized that I’d picked the metal prong up and reached for another marshmallow.
Crap.
I wasn’t feeling like myself again. I needed to get a grip on my senses.
“Yeah,” I said. “Just, um, tired. And—”
“Do you need me to leave?” Danna said. “I was so excited to see you that I forgot to ask whether you wanted me here in the first place. You do look slightly worse for wear.”
I wanted to abate her guilt, but I also wished to hide. The angry little girl in me made me uncomfortable around others. Wary. What if she came out again and hurt Danna?
“Thanks,” I said, relaxing. “Could you? I’ll talk to you later, but I have a bit of a headache and—”
Danna hugged me before I could finish. I sensed her love for me in that gesture. I returned her embrace, enjoying her company. It struck me that I didn’t need to have a mother to have a family. I’d been so busy chasing something that didn’t belong to me that I forgot to appreciate what I actually had. I was surrounded by love. My vassals cared for me. So did Danna.
And now I had to protect them.
It was difficult, however, when the person I needed to protect them from was myself.
We squeezed each other tightly, then let each other go. Danna blew me a kiss before heading toward the door with a bounce in her steps. I watched her as she pried the entrance open.
We were greeted by my vassals.
Liam and Theo, specifically.
Danna immediately plastered on a fierce expression—as fierce as she could make herself appear, anyway. “She needs rest.”
“Just a quick check,” Liam said.
“We’re not going to hurt her,” Theo added.
Danna sniffed. “Not if you’re getting in the way of her sleep.”
“Cara? Could you get this little devil out of our path, please?” Liam asked.
“I did ask for some sp
ace,” I said. “Are you guys going to take choice from me too, just like the goddess council did?” I pinned them with an accusatory look.
Danna placed her hands on her hips and acted like she’d just won an argument.
“Just for a moment,” Theo said. “We need to make sure that you’re fine. Hansel’s worried as hell. More so than the rest of us. You’ve been acting out of it ever since you left the council. Once we make sure that everything’s fine, we’ll be out of your sight.” He lifted his hands. “I promise.”
I fiddled with my hair. “All right, then.”
Danna’s eyes darted between the two men. “I’m watching you,” she said, shoving a finger at Liam’s chest. And, in a completely contradictory movement, she slipped out of the door and left me alone with my two vassals.
That girl didn’t make sense. Probably why we were best friends.
I turned my attention back to my intruding vassals. “You two apparently didn’t get the memo.”
“We’re just worried,” Theo said. He closed the distance between us, took my hand, and pulled me into his big, strong body. It was difficult to push him away after being locked in his embrace. Soothing warmth washed through me. Just like that, our hearts began beating at the same tempo.
I wondered if pushing them away was the best thing I could do. Should I have confided my fears in them, instead? But I didn’t want to worry them. They’d make a huge fuss if I told them I wasn’t feeling well.
“And you’re acting calmer already,” Theo said with a light chuckle. He raked his hand down the curve of my back. My toes curled in response.
“You’re a relaxant, that’s why,” I replied. “Doing things to my body without even trying.” Annoyingly so.
Liam placed a hand on my forehead. “So, are you going to tell us what’s wrong now?”
Theo swept me up into his arms. He cradled me like a princess. Effortlessly, he ambled toward the bed and set me down on its sheets. The soft satin slid across my skin, leaving behind a trail of coolness. I felt the bed sink under my vassals’ weights as they made themselves comfortable. Theo kissed my cheek then trailed his lips across my jaw, before he found my mouth. They were pillowy, though slightly chapped. He pressed them against mine, hungry possessiveness lingering behind the pressure he placed on me.
Goddess Academy: The Complete Reverse Harem Collection Page 49