“No?” Hadn’t anybody been listening?
Her faced remained impassive. My answer fell on deaf ears. “Hurry up. We don’t have all day.”
I wanted to whine, but saw no point in doing so. How would she react if I just threw the chalice onto the ground?
The silence that followed her command became more unbearable than having to down the pink water. I eyed it warily, sighed, then lifted the chalice to my mouth.
“Every last drop,” Hera said.
Deciding to get it over and done with quickly, I knocked the drink back, taking large gulps. It tasted sweet. Somewhat like honey. Once I realized that the water didn’t taste like utter shit, finishing it wasn’t too bad.
Spitting into my drink was totally not cool, though.
I looked at the bottom of the chalice, feeling bloated.
“There,” I said. “What’s supposed to happen now?”
“You’ll turn into a goddess,” Clotho replied.
“It can’t be that easy.” Was this all there was to it? Had I been worried for nothing at all? Mentally, I smacked myself. Liam had been right. I’d overthought everything. I should have just gone with the flow.
Clotho shook her head. “Oh. It isn’t.”
As soon as Clotho gave her warning, terrible, agonizing, and unbearable pain shot through my body. I lost the ability to breathe. It felt like metal chains were tightening around them, squeezing all air out of me. The tips of my fingers burned. Heat exploded through my torso.
I heard screaming.
A second later, I noticed that the screaming had come from my own lungs. A wheezing, strained moaning accompanied the cry. My throat hurt from my own shouting. Bright, red, angry stars blinded me.
Make it stop!
I didn’t have the ability to say anything.
Feathers brushed against my skin—they belonged to my own wings, and the bones of my feathery appendages felt like they were snapping.
Make it stop!
So much pain.
Unimaginable amounts of it.
I wished for the sweet kiss of death. Only through that would I be able to escape this torturous torment.
Make it—
I blinked my eyes open when it was all over. The buzzing in my ears slowly subsided, and despite all my cries, no soreness plagued my throat.
I was fine.
Stronger.
More powerful.
I looked up at the ceiling. The stream of water continued to trickle into the puddle. Everything was just as it was before I went through that torturous turmoil, and yet it all looked different. I noticed shades I hadn’t before. Details that hadn’t been noticeable earlier stood out. I held my breath, then realized I felt fine despite not taking in air.
I pulled myself into a seating position. The first eyes I met belonged to Clotho. “Ten minutes. And you’re not dead, which was a possibility. You did well.”
I glanced at the palms of my hands.
Was I still Cara?
I felt for the little angry girl. I was the most worried about her. I thought she might take over my mind. I didn’t want to face her again. She’d caused too much harm before.
She hadn’t appeared.
I had more power, and I hadn’t become more dangerous. That was all that mattered to me.
“Congratulations,” Hera said stoically. “You’re a goddess now.”
I breathed a sigh of relief.
Did this mean that it was time for me to be fucking awesome?
Eleven
Events whirled by too quickly. I hadn’t had time to fully explore the extent of my new powers, but we were getting thrust into action.
“It’s an all-out war outside the cave,” Hera said. She tapped on the golden leaves hooked around her ears. They were apparently communication devices that allowed her to hear messages over long distances. Through them, she received reports from outside. “Aphrodite and Ares need the rest of the chiasma to summon Nyx.” We’d crossed the narrow bridge again, and were walking around the banks of the chiasma’s lake. Only Hera walked with us. A few minutes ago, Clotho had left with Agness to join the troops outside.
“A war?” I asked. In my new form, Hera’s speech sounded much clearer. She looked more beautiful, too. I thought that with better eyesight, I’d notice more imperfections on her face, but my sharper vision only emphasized just how flawless she was. I realized I could focus much more easily with my new body.
Time to say goodbye to my clumsy days. I doubted I’d trip so often when I was this nimble. My mind felt stronger, too. More resilient. Less tired. Better able to handle stress.
A good thing, since war did seem awfully stressful.
“We need you to take the stolen chiasma from your parents,” Hera said. “Can you sense it? You should be tied to it, considering part of the chiasma lies in you.”
I closed my eyes and focused. I reached out for the energy. When I concentrated, everything around me flared to life. The rocks, water, dirt, wind. All these things were connected to the chiasma, and now that I was more attuned to the chiasma inside me, I felt like I could reach out to every minute detail of the world.
“I sense it,” I said. An image appeared in my mind’s eye. A small black orb, similar to the chiasma. Deimos hovered next to it, reminding me of a guard dog.
And I also sensed death. In the battle outside, life forces, like small, flickering flames, were getting snuffed out. I could almost feel the pain that the others suffered. I tried ignoring it. Being this aware of the horrors around me disturbed me to no end.
“Good,” Hera said. I heard a clicking sound and glanced at my wrist. There, next to Medusa’s bracelet, was a new one. “Just so you stay on our side.”
“What is this?” I asked, lifting the bracelet closer to my face to inspect it. Just like the device hooked around Hera’s ear, it was adorned with gold leaves.
“Your allegiance is with us. If you happen to side with Aphrodite or Ares, that bracelet will ensure that you’ll die.” Hera narrowed her eyes. “In an excruciating way, of course. I have to make sure that you don’t stray. The council needs you, which leaves us little choice, but we have to ensure that you don’t go against our wishes.”
“You don’t trust me.” I ran my thumb across the bracelet.
“Of course I don’t.”
I tried prying the bracelet off my wrist. Hansel tried to do it for me too.
Hansel bared his teeth at Hera. “You don’t have to do this to Cara—”
“It’s okay,” I said, placing a hand on Hansel’s chest. “I understand where she’s coming from. I wouldn’t trust myself either.” I’d just met Hera, and I’d been the idiot who’d foolishly led my parents into Haven. I still remembered the sights of Ashmeda, and I took responsibility for the bloodshed. Nobody was pointing fingers at me. I blamed myself.
“There’s too much dying outside,” I said. “Trust me or not, I still like fighting for what’s right, so let’s try to put an end to the battle.”
“Try taking the stolen chiasma back first,” Hera said.
“I can’t.” I’d already tried when I felt for it. “I can pinpoint its exact location for you. But it’s not as simple as pulling it straight from them.”
“Hm.” Hera cocked her head, clearly unconvinced.
“It was a miscalculation on your end,” I said.
“Perhaps.” She doubted me, of course. Quick to judge. She thought I was lying.
Silence fell between us.
“Fine,” Hera said. “We can end this battle first, then talk about the stolen chiasma later.”
“When can I take off this bracelet?” I asked. I hated having to live in servitude. What was the point of being a powerful goddess when I still lacked freedom?
“You won’t have any reason to take the bracelet off if you intend to stay on the right side.”
I wasn’t sure what she meant. Who was she to determine who belonged where?
“That’s unfair,” I said. “How do you know that
I can trust you?”
Hera smirked. “You don’t.” She enjoyed having control over me. My vassals clearly didn’t like this arrangement. Theo fisted his hands at his sides, and it looked like he was withholding himself from throwing a punch across Hera’s face.
Before we left the cave, Devon regarded me, looking somewhat impressed. “You’ve changed,” he said.
“Have I?”
He nodded. “You’re not the same Cara anymore. You seem more… stable. Levelheaded.”
I shrugged. “That’s what love does to you, I guess. Makes you care. And when you do care, that’s when you have to take things more seriously.”
“Love, huh?” Devon asked. “That’s what happened?”
I leaned toward him and planted a kiss on his lips. “It’s the answer. It always is.”
We left the chiasma’s lake. Outside, nothing looked like the way it had before we entered. Flames danced across the entire battlefield. The sky was foggy from ash, and the air smelled metallic, tainted by spilled blood.
I thought I’d seen something like this before. In a vision—one that belonged to Aphrodite. To my left, a vassal thrust his sword through a female. She smelled like a half-blood. My sense of smell, just like the rest of my senses, had improved vastly after my transformation into a full goddess. The girl coughed out the torn parts of her insides. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head before she slumped to the ground.
Animals fought with centaurs and selkies. I recalled passing the Talisman of Nakada to the centaurs. It gave them dominion over the forest. I wouldn’t have done that had I known how it’d tip the odds against us. Then again, I needed to pass the talisman to them to save Devon.
I picked up a sword I found next to me. The vassal turned his attention to me next. The bloodlust in his eyes was worsened by the specks of blood over his cheeks. He lifted his sword above his head and cried out so loudly that I could see the veins on his neck.
An arrow, made of light, shot through his temple.
I jolted.
Hera wiped her hands together. “There’s no use holding a sword if you’re not going to use it. Are you all talk?”
Maybe. I did talk too damn much sometimes.
I turned back to the bloodshed. Come to think of it, I’d never really killed anybody before. At least, not violently. Mostly, I’d just made people trip over themselves and solved everything with infatuation and love.
I had the ability to cause destruction now, but how was I supposed to use these powers?
My vassals jumped straight into the thick of battle. Hansel took off like the wind, swirling to his next opponent. He twirled his dagger in his hand before plunging it straight into his victim’s collarbone.
Liam pushed fire from his hands. His opponent, a centaur, lit up. The screams that tore from his throat were horrific. Liam didn’t let that slow him down. He pulled both daggers from his sheaths, leapt into the air, and made numerous cuts in his opponent. The centaur was immobilized. He muttered something softly before convulsing, shaking out the last remnants of his life before stilling completely.
Liam was supposed to have grown up with the centaurs, but he continued fighting with the levelheadedness of a soldier. I boiled it down to the vassal training he’d received before I entered the school.
My vassals all held their own.
And here I was, equipped with the essence of the world, having no clue what to do with it because I couldn’t bring myself to stab anybody.
Devon stopped next to me. His chest heaved. He’d already gotten himself covered in grime. Hot embers reflected off the gold of his pupils. He owned the battlefield like he belonged there. “You don’t have to force yourself to do anything you don’t want to.”
“But I have to be useful,” I said.
I spotted Clotho levitating in the distance. A barrier closed in around her, keeping her subdued. Vassals and goddesses clashed in an array of colors. I never thought that this level of destruction could look so beautiful.
I spread my wings out behind me and took to the skies. Briefly, out of curiosity, I glanced at my appendages. I withheld a gasp. My wings had turned into a striking crimson color, but the larger feathers trailed into white at the tips. It matched the color of my hair. Flying higher gave me a better vantage point. With this, I could target whom to send my love powers out to. I tensed, concentrating on my magic, and let my magic pour from my fingertips.
It was working. Quickly, I subdued the vassals who dared stand against the goddesses. Love blinded them, and they started falling for their enemies, leaving themselves vulnerable. Those on our sides took the opening eagerly. Dozens of vassals, centaurs, and selkies fell to my workings. I winced at the pain I was causing. I need to grow a pair of balls. There was no more room for the stupid Cara who only knew how to play the ukulele and make silly jokes. I had to grow the fuck up.
Responsibilities.
It was time to face up to some of them.
Because now, with people to love, I actually cared.
Right beneath me, Fenrir had transformed into its bestial form. Doing what it did best, it chomped off the heads of those who dared face it. I noticed it keeping as close to Liam as it could, protecting its loved one.
As my love powers bathed the battlefield, I questioned the rightness of my decisions. What if the vassals were right in fighting back? They’d been suppressed for so long…
But Nyx and the destruction of all things? Aphrodite and Ares wanted to cause that. The vassals might have been wronged, but destruction of both realms wasn’t necessary.
Lies, all told by people who wanted nothing more than control of my powers.
Across the field, I spotted my mother, Aphrodite. She was dressed in leather pants that wrapped around a curvy but toned figure. Bracers wrapped around her forearms. She’d tied her hair up in a high ponytail and wielded a crossbow.
She didn’t even have to look at her opponent to aim. Her gaze fixated on me as she loosed the crossbow, and her arrow found its mark, shooting straight through the chest of a goddess who’d dared run toward her.
Fury danced across her face. There was no affection in her expression. Just hate.
I tried to ignore the disappointment. I should have lost all hope after she abandoned me in the Otherside, but, of course, some part of me wished that my own mother could love me.
It dawned on me that she could fight against my powers.
She controlled the emotion of love, too. Already, I sensed my grip on the enemies loosening. My magic was still fresh—I’d come into my powers less than a day ago. But Aphrodite had been using this magic for hundreds of years. Perhaps even longer. My expertise paled in comparison. Pain shot up the side of my neck as her powers overwhelmed me.
And so I pushed back.
I fought to win.
Stubbornness was a trait that we shared. I could almost see her effect on the field with my heightened vision. It weaved around the troops in an intricate web, unravelling the spell I’d cast over the battlefield.
I pushed harder.
But her weave seemed impossible to destroy. It was too detailed and well constructed. I couldn’t give up. Far too many lives depended on my performance.
I sucked in a deep breath. I had to defeat her. If only I believed in—
Pain shot up the side of my head.
A foreign entity, hiding inside me, took me by surprise.
The angry little girl in me sang. She’d woken from her slumber. She’d been there all along, waiting for the right opportunity to attack. I had to battle her and my mother. I summoned all my resolve, but fear weakened me.
My nightmares had come alive, haunting me in the thick of battle.
“No,” I whispered. “Stay away.”
But, of course, my demon didn’t listen. She never did. A stray arrow zipped toward me. I let go of my fight with Aphrodite to avoid it, but my distractions slowed me down. It pierced my arm, slicing past my bone.
“Stay away,” I said agai
n, pleading with myself.
But the girl was too strong. The remnants of the chiasma in me fueled her. Her hold over me tightened and grew, expanding and taking over my body.
“Stay awa—”
Inside my mind, the barrier I’d kept around her broke. I thought I heard a crack in my head as the little girl crashed through the cage. Laughter rang in my ears. The sound was evil. It reminded me of a witch’s cackle. I used the last reserves of my energy to fight back, but I proved too weak.
The bracelet around my wrist vibrated.
Hera paced back and forth beneath me, trying to keep it fastened around my hand. The dark magic that consumed me overwhelmed it. The bracelet shattered before turning to dust. It was swept away by the winds.
Darkness bled into the edges of my vision.
Kill.
Once I heard that word shooting through my brain, I knew she’d taken over completely.
The angry little girl was better than me in every way.
Faster.
Stronger.
Smarter.
But she lacked empathy and compassion. All she wanted was to see everything burn to the ground. As she took over my body, I sensed the overpowering need to kill and destroy. I watched as a helpless bystander in the back of my mind as she wreaked destruction all across the battlefield. Dark fire poured from my hands, swallowing everything in its wake.
And the screams.
The horrible screams.
Throughout the entire ordeal, I never stopped fighting, but more and more, the angry little girl became me.
Suddenly the pleading didn’t sound horrific anymore. Instead, it delighted me like a beautiful tune. I watched with morbid curiosity as my victims’ skin peeled from their bodies. I threw my head back and laughed as I watched them bleed and scar and die.
Useless.
So weak.
All beings were beneath me. I was part of the chiasma personified. Of course they stood no chance.
The forces realized that I was the main threat they had to deal with. They directed all their efforts toward me. But I was too agile for them to keep up with. I darted away from their assaults, avoiding blast after blast as I maintained perfect control over my abilities.
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