by Nicole Dykes
I hear her heels clicking on the floor as she walks away from me. I stay frozen in Baz’s room. Hating everything. Life. Death. California. Circumstances. Fear.
And especially . . .
Her.
I feel like I'm dying. The ache in my chest is constant and throbbing. I’m not sure it will ever go away.
His face.
God, his face as he held Baz’s little body in his arms.
He hates me. And I can’t blame him.
The flight was long, and I was grateful I was stuck on a plane and not driving a car. If I’d been driving, I know I’d have turned around.
I have to stay strong and do what's right.
I help Baz out of the Uber and carry our bags up the paved sidewalk leading to our new home, hoping our host will be ready for the disruption we’ll inevitably bring.
I try like hell not to think about Asher’s pouty mouth and sharp jawline clenched with anger and tension as I press the doorbell.
And I'm met with very similar eyes and a kind smile.
“You guys made it.”
I smile as Lola bends at the knees and brings Baz into her arms for a great big hug. “Aunt Lola!”
She smiles and then stands to pull me into a hug. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? We can be a lot.”
She laughs and waves me off as she lets us into her massive beach home. “I am 100 percent sure. You guys can stay with me for as long as you want. The place is way too big anyway.”
I place our bags by the door.
She looks at them and then back to me. “Is that all you brought? I hope you’re planning to stay longer than that, especially since you’re starting your new job with me and P soon.”
“Yeah.” I nervously play with the hem of my shirt as I look out the glass toward the sandy beach right outside her living room. “I hired a company to pack up the rest. I couldn’t do it.”
She keeps her voice low. “He didn’t take it well.”
I shake my head, fighting the tears and the ache.
She places a hand on my shoulder, trying to soothe me. “It will be okay. I promise.”
I nod my head as I walk to the large window, looking out at my new home.
Sawyer is moving to the same city in a week, and we’re going to continue to get to know each other.
But I can’t stop thinking about Asher’s face and his cold words. I hope this wasn’t a massive mistake. The heartache is great, but I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t feel like it was right.
Still, I know . . .
What has been destroyed, can never be restored.
TO BE CONTINUED
Note from the Author
I can’t even imagine how upset you are with me right now. I want to assure you, the decision to make this a cliffhanger was not an easy one. I felt sick when I realized that’s how it absolutely had to end. Nothing else worked. It just didn’t.
I want you to know that I never do anything just for shock factor. I only did this because it was right for these particular characters. I hated doing it.
Anything else would have rushed their story, and I will not do that. So, it does get worse . . . Because Ash and Viv need so much more time, the next book is not theirs. It’s actually Lola’s.
Again, I had to do it this way. Nothing else made sense. But I promise you I will get it done as fast I can while making sure I do all of them justice.
I know some of you are going to hate this no matter what, but please know I do understand that. By the end of the Summer of Sterlings, I promise all will feel right!
Please hang in there with me, and I really hope you’ll read the next two books. I’m insanely proud of this series and decided this was the one I will not hold back with at all. I promise more twists and turns, angst and heartache, but with all of that will come triumph.
Thank you for reading Asher and Viv’s story. I hope you enjoyed it!
I’m adding a sneak peek of Lola’s story at the end of the book, so go ahead and get a hint of what you’re in for! Love you all!
Special Thanks
I want to thank my family for always being there for me. Bryant and my girls, I thank God for you every single day.
Thank you so much to my betas for sticking with me and always keeping me motivated.
Thank you to Ariadna, Elle, and Emma for being my rocks and keeping me going no matter how frustrating the world can be at times. You women mean the world to me.
Thank you to Dena, Elizabeth, and Veronique for making my books professional and beautiful.
And thank you so much to the Novelties and all of my readers! Still can’t believe that people want to read what’s in my head!
I know it’s been a really odd time in the world and some things may seem hopeless. I love the book world. I feel like I've truly met my people. Kind and caring people who want the world to be a better place. So just keep going strong. Everyone please remember how much you matter and that life is an adventure. Make sure to always stand up for what’s right and be an ally to anyone that may be struggling. And reach out if you need help!
And don’t forget to take time for yourself and get lost in a crazy story as often as you can!
Sneak Peek
Lola
“Viv?” I walk out the sliding glass door and onto the patio of my home. Vivienne is sitting one of the outdoor chairs. Her legs are tucked under her with a teal coffee mug clutched in her hands as she looks out at the glorious view.
Everything about my patio was meticulously planned-out. The white cushions, bright blue and yellow accent pillows create a beachy vibe that only adds to surrounding white sand and the ocean literally a stone’s throw away from the underground pool with sparkling blue water.
The blue matches the water. The yellow matches the sun. All perfect for my new life in California. The white signifies a fresh start, the one I desperately needed.
But the way Vivienne watches the water and the ache I see deep in her soul tells me I'm nowhere clear of the chaos that stems from my bloodline.
She turns her head slightly to look over at me, still holding her coffee in both hands. “Good morning.” I can tell she’s trying to force a smile but fails as she looks back over the horizon.
“Good morning. Did you sleep okay?” I inch closer to her already knowing her answer.
It wasn’t easy for her to leave my brother Asher back in Kansas, and I can see how much she misses him. Even though I knew she was supposed to be on a plane here yesterday, I was still shocked when I opened the door and she was there with her son, my nephew, Sebastian. A large part of me didn’t think she would do it.
I’m glad she’s here though even if I know it’s killing my little brother. I have to believe it was for the best to offer her a place to stay here and a job with my other brother’s girl, Penelope.
What started with friendship with Vivienne and Asher had quickly become toxic, and it wasn’t good for anyone involved. I promised myself I would be vigilant and keep a watchful eye on my siblings, so I stepped in.
“Not really.” I’m surprised she answers honestly, and I can see from the puffiness of her eyes she likely spent the night crying.
“He’ll be okay. I know he’s angry now.”
“He hates me.” There’s a distance in her gaze as she stares out over the ocean. It’s almost eerie.
I take a seat next to her, crossing my ankles and smoothing down my white knee-length skirt. “He doesn’t. He’s angry, but he doesn’t hate you.”
Her eyes meet mine. “You didn’t see him. He loves Baz more than anyone, and I took him away.”
I place a hand on her shoulder, trying my best to offer her some comfort even if I know very little about the ache she’s feeling, But I know plenty about guilt. “You did what you had to. For you and your son. And Asher.”
“He’ll never forgive me, Lola.”
I wish I had more to offer her, but I know my brother. He’s immature and angry. He’ll more than likely be a total
prick about her leaving. “He will. He needs time.”
She takes a drink from her mug, her eyes meeting mine. “Are you really sure it’s okay for us to stay with you? I don’t want to put a strain on your relationship with Asher.”
My heart squeezes at the thought. “It’s already strained.”
That’s putting it mildly. I had three brothers. Three younger brothers. And I failed them all in one way or another but most of all, Asher. “I don’t want to make it worse. He won’t be happy you’re letting us stay with you.”
“I haven’t been a good sister—”
“You’re the best sister anyone could ask for.” She quickly cuts me off, and I smile at her, dropping my hand from her shoulder and shaking my head.
“No. I’m not, Vivienne. I let them all down. I was preoccupied by my own thing, always worried about achieving my goals.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that.”
I take a deep breath and look out at the water. I thought living close to the ocean would be different from living on the lake like my brother, Linc. But I still hate the water with a passion, and can’t seem to bring myself to go in.
“There is. I was their big sister. And I let them all down.”
She shakes her head, and I feel her studying my face as I look at the turbulent water. “How?”
“After . . .” I swallow the disgusting feeling deep inside and hate that I still can’t seem to say my brother Colt’s name out loud. “After the accident, I let Asher down. I let Linc down. I couldn’t look at either of them. I couldn’t be near anyone I was related to. It hurt too much.”
Now it’s her turn to comfort me. She puts her coffee down and wraps her small arm around my shoulders. “Everyone handles grief differently.”
I close my eyes, the agony slicing through my heart thinking about the night I found out Colt was dead. That he had drowned in the lake. He had been drinking and fallen from some boat he was on. He hated the water, but he had been spinning out of control for a while. Drowning while he was alive, and I couldn’t save him.
I didn’t even try.
“I let them down. Linc and Penelope, they were at war, punishing each other. And I let them continue, even knowing how toxic they had become. And Asher . . .” I feel the sick feeling again, thinking about my youngest brother still living at home while my mother was racked with guilt and unable to function. “I should have stepped in, been there for him, but I wasn’t.”
Her eyes squeeze shut. I’m certain they’ve talked about that time, but I can’t bear to hear the details of the hell he went through. “He loves you.”
I smile. “When I realized how bad things had gotten with Linc and Penelope, I stepped in. And I promised myself I would never again let my siblings suffer in silence. That I would be there for them. Asher may hate me momentarily, but he’ll thank me later. You guys needed some space.”
The pained expression on her face tells me my instincts were right. “You’re their sister. It’s not your job to rescue them.”
I smile and lean my face against hers. “You’re my nephew’s mom. To me, that makes you more than just my friend. That makes you my sister.” I smile and pull back enough to look into her eyes. “And I'm going to do my damnedest to be a good sister from now on.”
Her lips lift in a small smile that still screams of sadness but maybe also a glimmer of some joy. “You are very good, Lola.”
“Stay as long as you want. It’s nice having people in this big house.”
“If you’re sure.”
I nod decisively. “Very.” I smile as Sebastian, or Baz as we call him, slides open the door and runs outside in his Spiderman pajamas with his brown hair all mussed from sleep. “Mommy!”
He jumps onto her lap, and she uses the hand that was around my shoulders to catch him. “Good morning.”
He laughs. That laugh sends happiness and grief soaring through me simultaneously. It’s his father’s laugh.
Colt.
“I’m hungry!”
I laugh. He’s always right to business, that one. Barely four and already a true force in this world.
“I bought some stuff yesterday, but I'm going to be honest.” I meet Viv’s eyes. “I don’t know much about tiny humans. So, if there’s anything else he’d like, please let me know.”
She smiles and holds him close to her. “I’m sure I can find a store.” She shrugs. “After I buy a car, that is. Which is on my list for the day.”
I nod. We’re a lot alike really. We both always have a plan. “Sounds good, but I don’t mind. I have a meeting I need to get to and some other work to attend to, but I’ll be home for dinner.” I stand up, straightening my skirt. “I’ll order something when I get home.”
“Or maybe I can cook, depending on what’s in the fridge.”
I stare at her, impressed. “You cook?”
She laughs and stands with Baz in her arms, his body nearly overtaking her small frame. “I’m trying.”
“We’ll get along just fine then. I’ll see you this evening. Call if you need anything at all.”
She nods, and I give Baz a hug and a kiss before I leave them in my home, one they can call their own.
I know she misses Asher. I know he misses her.
When I intervened with Penelope and Lincoln, my hope was they would take the time apart to grow and then come back together stronger. And they did. Their love is fierce, and it’s a healthy, hearty love now.
When it came to Asher and Vivienne though, the thought of them together terrifies the living hell out of me. I was relieved that Vivienne took me up on my offer and came here to live. Fleeing from the situation with Asher that had grown dark and bitter.
And I only hope I can give them both the strength to stay far away from one another forever.