by K. A. Berg
“Hey, ladies,” Ashley greets before we all exchange hugs like it’s the first day of school and we haven’t seen each other all summer.
“It’s so good to see you guys, again,” Tracy says wrapping up the last remaining hug. “Congratulations, Quinn. We’re so happy for you and Alex. I don’t know what Duncan is going to do without him during the season but thank god Alex is opening his gym close by.”
Rhonda, Tracy, and Maria have been around since Ashley and I started coming around. Tanner and their husbands are the main group of veterans on the team. Marigold has been around about five years and Chantal’s husband, Dozer as the guys call him, was traded here last season.
“Thanks,” I nod. “We’re very excited about the new chapter. It’s not a gym though. It’s a rehab and fitness center.”
Tracy nods her head in agreeance. “You should be excited. So, when are you due?”
Confusion blankets my face. My eyebrows quirk and my head tilts. What the hell is she talking about?
“I remember how excited we were with our first,” Rhonda adds in a dreamy voice.
Maria gives me a facetious dirty look with a lopsided smirk. “And course you look fabulous. You can’t even tell you’re this far along. I swear I gained fifteen pounds as soon as the second line appeared on the test.”
This far? Who just assumes someone is pregnant? What is wrong with these people?
Embarrassment heats my cheeks as these women look at me with happiness and excitement for something I don’t have. “I’m not pregnant.” I shake my head.
Ashley steps forward, allowing me a moment with their attention focused on her and not me. “Why would you think Quinn was pregnant?”
That’s what I’d like to know!
Tracy’s eyebrows pinch together. “Duncan told me when he came back from training camp it was announced Alex was leaving the team and opening his own gym since you guys were starting a family. He’s totally bummed about Alex leaving.”
Rhonda’s head nods in agreement. “David told me the same thing. He said you and Alex were having a baby.”
I’m going to kill him. My cheeks start to flush. I can feel the heat spreading across my cheeks, down my neck, and into my chest. Why would Alex tell the team we were having a baby? This doesn’t make sense. Does he want this so bad that he is lying about it now? He had to know someone was going to say something to me at some point.
Shaking my head, I take a breath and explain to them they’re partly correct. “I’m not pregnant. Yes, Alex is leaving the team to open his rehab center, and we are planning on starting a family, but I’m not pregnant.”
“What are y’all waiting for?” Chantal asks in a thick Southern accent. “I couldn’t keep Dozer off me once we decided to have kids.”
My palms sweat as all the oxygen seems to leave the room. I stand frozen—a deer in headlights. I don’t know what to say here. I’ve never felt so put-on-the-spot before, and I’ve spoken in front of hundreds at company events. I’m way outside my comfort zone.
Forcing my lips into a tight smile, I keep it simple. “We’re working on it.”
Alex is dead. As soon as he gets home, I swear I’m shoving my foot so far up his ass. Or maybe I should shove it down his throat. Him and his big mouth.
Tracy doesn’t seem to notice my unease at all. She continues as though it’s no big deal—nothing personal or anything. “Are you guys having some trouble? One of my girlfriends was having trouble, too. She hooked up with a doctor who is supposedly the best in the entire tri-state. Guess he was because she was pregnant within three months of seeing him. I’ll get his name and have Duncan give it to Alex for you guys.”
Seriously? This woman is standing here talking about my infertility, which I never even confirmed was an issue like we’re trading recipes for fucking banana bread.
Never in my life have I been one to hold my tongue, but at this moment, I’m so embarrassed and angry I can only smile, hoping this topic of conversation will end. This is Alex’s place of employment, and I cannot lose it. “Thank you. You’re very considerate, but it’s not necessary.”
Chantal continues as if she didn’t hear me turn down Tracy’s offer. “If y’all are having trouble, you need to download this app.” She pulls her phone from her purse and starts tapping the screen. “I used this when we were trying to get pregnant with Luna. I was still nursing Pax and having trouble keeping track of my cycle. It was a great help.”
She turns her phone toward me and starts explaining the app and how it works. Using my eyes, I plead with Ash to help me out. She glances down at her watch and says, “Quinn, it’s almost 4:30, you’re going to be late.”
“Oh, wow. I forgot all about the time. It was great seeing you ladies. Until next time.” I step away from Chantal needing to get out of there now. The walls seem almost ready to close in on me. Ashley grips my arm as she hugs me goodbye. “It’ll be okay, Quinn.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
ALEX
THE SETTING SUN CASTS A GLOW ON HER SILHOUETTE AS Quinn stands in front of the sliding glass doors to our balcony. She stands motionless except for sipping a glass of wine as I walk through the door. She’s still wearing her outfit from the game—Jets T-shirt, hat, and white leather Chucks. A look I love on her and my smile is instant. “Hi, angel.”
Her long blonde tresses bounce as she looks back at me over her shoulder. Her eyes immediately narrow. Uh oh. She’s pissed.
“I’m so fucking mad at you right now.” She doesn’t even unclench her jaw to speak. She’s not kidding. She’s super pissed.
Trying to think as quickly as I can, I find nothing off the top of my head she could be upset over. She glares at me while I come up with nothing. Dropping my equipment bag, I cross through the foyer into the living room and pull her into a hug when I reach her. “Quinn, I’m sorry you’re mad, but I can’t apologize if I don’t know what I’m apologizing for.”
She pushes away from me and rolls her eyes. “You opened your big mouth, that’s what you did. Did you tell everyone in the world we were trying to get pregnant or just the entire football league?”
What?
She doesn’t even let me get a word out before she continues. “Some of the wives were under the impression I’m pregnant. I was so fucking embarrassed. When I corrected them, the conversation took a turn to fertility doctor referrals. Seriously, Alex? How could you do that to me?”
My chest hurts as her eyes glass over with tears. I’m still not exactly sure what happened, but it doesn’t matter. Reaching out, I begin to pull her back into my arms, but she pushes me away. Her body shakes as she says, “Don’t touch me, right now. I really just want to punch you.”
Stepping away, I give her the space she wants. She’s clearly upset about something, but it’s bigger than whatever was said at today’s game. I’ve noticed the slight changes in her over the last few weeks. She spends a lot of time stuck inside her head. She’s quick to snap. Emotional. She promised me she would talk to me if things got to be too much, but instead, it seems she’s pulling away from me little by little. I’ve been waiting for the right time to say something, but it looks like I won’t have to wait any longer.
“If you’ll give me a second to explain, you’ll see this is just a misunderstanding.”
Her blue eyes spit fire. “There wouldn’t be anything to misunderstand if you never opened up your mouth in the first place. Why on Earth would you be discussing something so personal at work?”
“I didn’t tell anyone you were pregnant...”
She immediately cuts me off. “Then why did two of the wives tell me their husbands found out from you, a month ago may I add?”
This is going to be hard to explain if she keeps coming at me without listening. I take a deep breath. “When I gave my resignation, I said I was moving on to a new chapter, getting ready to have a family. I'm guessing my words were misconstrued and as it spread people thought I meant you were already pregnant.”
My explanation doesn’t have the calming effect I was hoping for. If anything, Quinn looks even more pissed than when I walked through the door. “If you only told management, how did everyone find out and why didn’t you correct their assumption?”
Her hands placed firmly on her hips, she stares at me expectantly with her eyebrows piqued as if she’s daring me to lie. She doesn’t believe me at all. It’s evident in everything about her right now. Her posture. The tone of her voice as she questions me, almost condescending. Even the way she’s tapping her foot.
“I didn’t realize anyone had thought that until now. Honestly, the few congratulations I got I thought were for opening the facility. It’s not like guys go around talking in depth about shit like babies and pregnant wives. I didn’t tell anyone you were pregnant, Quinn. Why would I lie about something like that? It’s a lie easy to figure out after a certain point.”
“Why’d you have to say anything in the first place?” she asks, her anger seems to fade a bit as her arms fall from her hips. She runs her hands through her hair, knocking the hat off her head before dropping them to her sides. “It puts more pressure on me. It’s more people on the sidelines watching as I can’t do what they’re all waiting for me to do.”
“I didn’t realize it was supposed to be a secret. But, no one besides us, and maybe our close friends, is invested in us starting a family. No one, besides us, cares whether you’re pregnant or not. I don’t get why you’re letting this bother you so much. You’re so stressed out about a baby. It’s not good for you. And so what if they gave you a couple of recommendations? You do know once a baby is on the way, people are going to be giving you advice left and right. It’ll get even worse once the baby is born. You need to relax.”
Not what she wanted me to say. Her anger flares back up before I even finish speaking. The vein in her neck pulses as she fists her hands tightly. “Don’t tell me to relax! You don’t fucking get it.”
“What don’t I get?” I ask. “This is supposed to be a happy time. We’re starting a new and exciting part of our lives, only you’re acting like it’s a death sentence. I get you’re stressed and worried about every possible bad outcome, but everything is going to work out fine. You need to have faith and stop putting so much pressure on yourself.”
She glares at me. “It’s not that easy.”
I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say to make her feel better, or less angry, or whatever. I’m not even sure I understand what she’s upset about. A thought pops into my head, and a smile creeps on my lips. “Why the hell are you smiling?”
“Well,” I answer, trying to keep my voice light. “I was thinking you’re a little sensitive right now because maybe you’re already pregnant.”
“Oh my god,” she growls into the air as she tosses her head back in frustration and throws her wine glass against the wall. “I’m not fucking pregnant. I just got over my period, I can’t even be pregnant yet. I’m mad because you’re not listening to me. Fucking forget it, Alex. Do me a favor and keep your mouth shut. Stop telling people we’re starting a family until we’re, I don’t know, actually starting a fucking family.” And with those final words, she stomps away down the hall and slams the bedroom door shut.
Nothing I do is right. I remember when Ashley was pregnant with Michaela, there was a point in time when everything Tanner did pissed Ashley off. The road to babies is tough. I need some books or something. There’s got to be something out there to help husbands navigate this minefield. And when Quinn is, in fact, pregnant, I need to figure out how to help her and keep her stress level down. It can’t be good for a baby or even trying to have a baby if she’s always on edge, especially with small things like advice and recommendations.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
QUINN
“YES… YES… YES…” I CRY OUT AS ALEX ANGLES HIMSELF TO hit my sweet spot right. My eyes roll back as the pleasure mounts with each stroke of his thick cock.
My body is on fire. It’s been a little while since I’ve enjoyed sex like this. There’s no room for babies and making them while Alex fucks me without mercy.
Alex grips my outer thighs tightly as he holds them open to himself. He stares down as he plows into my pussy. “Fuck, angel! My cock looks so good buried in your pretty, pink pussy.” My eyes open and I try to appreciate the magnificence of Alex. The muscles in his arms and thighs tighten with every thrust of his hips. His abs and obliques are more defined as they work.
My husband is hot as fuck, especially when he fucks me like he owns my pussy. Well, he always owns it, but it’s nice to be thoroughly used every now and again.
My thighs shake as my walls begin to quake. This release is going to be amazing. I can feel it. It’s been so long since sex has been this good. My back arches up, my fingers hold on to the sheets for the ride, and my moans get louder. My body begs for it.
Alex pulls out, and I anxiously wait for him to thrust back in, taking me home. But instead, he drops my legs, grips my hips, and flips me over. “Ass in the air baby, it’s better if we come like this.”
“Huh?”
What did he say?
“It’s better if we come like this.”
Not… I want to see your ass shake as I fuck you from behind. Not… I can fuck you so much deeper this way. Nope! He switched positions because it’s a recommended position for conception. It’s one of the many that’s supposed to increase your chances of getting a baby we’ve tried over the last six months.
My orgasm is gone.
Vanished.
Does every single time have to be about knocking me up?
Alex slides back inside me, but my pussy is as dry as the Sahara. My husband just tried to fucking breed me. Like I’m a fucking farm animal.
Don’t blow-up, Quinn. He didn’t mean it like you think he did. He’s just trying to be supportive.
Sex was already feeling like a damn chore. The one time in like for-fucking-ever I’m a slave to the feelings, he does this!
Our sex life is something I used to be insanely proud of. It’s never faded for us. Everyone always told me it eventually would. It finally has. I feel repulsed by him. Having him in my body is no longer sexy, or fun. This is no longer us.
The hair on his legs rubs against the back of my thighs, only it feels like sandpaper. The way his hair, which I usually love, slides across my back as he kisses his way up it makes me want to crawl out of my skin. It feels like he’s rutting into me instead of trying to be intimate. I want to fucking puke. The fire of pleasure I was enjoying now feels like the fire of a thousand fire ants crawling on my skin.
Alex reaches a hand around to rub my clit, but I’m so done. Swatting his hand away, I pretend to do it myself. I make all the right sounds. Say all the right words. I pretend well considering I haven’t had to do this shit since college.
Contracting my muscles, I squeeze around Alex’s dick knowing it drives him crazy, keeping it up until he can’t hold back any longer. He pulls my hips into him, shoving his cock as deep inside me as he can, and growls as he comes. It all turns my stomach. Alex needs to get the hell off me right now. My ass needs to get the hottest shower possible to wash this shitty feeling off me. God, I feel disgusting right now.
This is not the way I wanted to start off my morning.
“You didn’t come, angel.” My head instinctively turns, looking back at him over my shoulder. My body is still rooted to the bed despite the watering in my mouth that only happens right before I vomit. A thousand questions swirl in the depths of his eyes. He looks down at his dick as he unsheathes himself from me to the apex of my quickly closing thighs, and up to my face again as if he can’t seem to wrap his head around what just took place. His words aren’t a question but spoken like one. “That's never happened before.”
No, it hasn’t. Guess my faking skills aren’t as good as they used to be. Or Alex just isn’t dumb enough to fall for it. No point even trying to pretend I did, I just want to get far away from this bed before I do get
sick all over it. “It’s no biggie,” I play it off, hitching a shoulder as I sit up and roll away from him. “I don’t need to come to make a baby.”
The words taste poisonous as I spit them out. It was a cheap shot, and I’m a bitch, but I just don’t care at this moment. What was starting to feel like a chore is now officially one. A chore is something you get no enjoyment from. Just like the sex we just had. If Alex wants to treat me like a broodmare, then he shouldn’t care whether I come or not. So long as it makes a baby.
Bolting from the bed, I rush into the bathroom and start the shower. Turning back around, I lock the bathroom door for the first time since living with Alex. I want to be alone. Now is not the time to answer the questions he has. I’m liable to make a rash decision and say something I’ll regret later.
My fingers tighten on the faucet as I turn the water as high as it will go. All I can think about it washing off the grim I feel. I’m an adventurous woman, but nothing I’ve done in my wildest days has made me feel as dirty as I do now.
Lathering the shower gel on my loofa, I start scrubbing. My skin is raw and a light shade of pink by the time I leave the shower. I inhale deeply through my nose and out my mouth, still trying to battle down the urge to throw up. I’m not sure exactly how long I was in the shower other than however long it takes for my skin to go numb and the water to lose its scalding ability, but Alex is gone. My phone dings with a text on the nightstand.
I wanted to wait for you so we could talk about whatever just happened, but I need to meet the contractor at the building to go over some of the remodel. We’ll talk later. I love you.
Well, at least I have plenty of time to figure out something to tell him without saying I couldn’t come because he made me want to crawl out of my skin as he treated me like a mate instead of a lover.