by Donna Alward
“Clearly you have an agenda, so you’d better say your piece.”
“All right. Molly is a damn fine woman. She’s tough when it comes to the courtroom and a marshmallow underneath. She’s got ethics coming out of her ears and she truly cares about people.”
“You sound as if you’re half in love with her.”
“And so I might have been, but she’s not interested. Believe me, I’ve tried. We’re friends, and that’s all.”
Eric’s collar started to feel a bit tight.
“You’ve tried?” He looked into the surgeon’s face. They were about the same age; O’Neill was maybe a few years older. His eyes were sharp and intelligent, with crinkles at the corners that made him look as if he was always holding back a joke. The thought of him making moves on Molly...
“Don’t worry. She made it very clear she’s not interested in me that way. First, I was her client. Then we became friends. Anytime I asked her out, she made it clear that we were just platonic. Two nights ago we went for drinks. I wanted to update her on this situation, but instead she gave me the whole lowdown on who you were to her. To say I was surprised to hear her talk about you at such length is an understatement.”
Eric took a slow inhalation and kept his grip even on his coffee cup. “I’m surprised. We met for lunch the other day. It was pleasant, but that was all.” God. Had she told Ryan everything about their trip, too? It didn’t seem like Molly, but after lunch the other day, he’d realized that he really didn’t know her as well as he thought he did.
“Pleasant.” Ryan chuckled. “Eric, you’ve got your poker face on and that’s fine, but if you care about her at all, you’ll listen to what I have to say. Then if you can sit there and look me in the eye and say she doesn’t matter, I’ll let it drop and we can move on to talking about amputations, prosthetics and orthotics.”
Eric said nothing, just gestured as if to say that Ryan had the floor.
Ryan put down his coffee. “I’ve known Molly for a while, and I can honestly say we’re friends. I bug her about it now and again and we end up as each other’s plus-one. I care about her a lot. I’m not denying that I’d be thrilled if she actually said yes. But I want her to be happy, and she was so unhappy the other night I know that she’s carrying around a lot of feelings.
“She told me about your trip, and the kayaking and zip-lining and her panic attack and how amazing you were. It was clear to me that she’d fallen for you big-time. So when she explained what had happened that morning in Victoria, I felt horribly responsible. I didn’t know who you were. She’d messaged me about leaving the firm and looking for some work she could sink her teeth into. I thought I was doing her a favor.”
“You were,” Eric admitted, trying to keep his emotions level. “She was really excited about doing something new.”
“And then you stomped on it. Not that I blame you entirely, and neither does she. And I’m not going to get into a ‘he said, she said’ with you. What I know is that whatever happened over lunch the other day, she was hurt and disappointed.”
Eric sat forward in his chair. “Listen, we were talking and then all of a sudden she clammed up and she shut down. What was I supposed to do?”
Ryan sighed. “Look, as men we can be pretty clueless when it comes to, well, clues. Here’s what I know. Molly said you were talking about your family and the business and how great it all was...but you never said anything about her or your feelings for her. She thought you might be meeting her to try to start over. When she realized you weren’t...”
Eric sat back in his chair and for once didn’t worry about his poker face. That was what she thought? That he hadn’t wanted to talk about them? He’d just been getting to it when she clammed up and then what was he supposed to say?
He closed his eyes for a second and sighed.
When he opened them again, Ryan was watching him with a slightly amused expression. “Oh, you don’t need to look so pleased with yourself,” he muttered grouchily. “I messed up again. And don’t look so self-satisfied. Clearly neither of us is great when it comes to women. You were her client, after all.”
Ryan chuckled. “Fair point, so I’ll give it to you. Now I’m gonna ask you. Are you in love with her?”
He didn’t even hesitate. “I’m in love with the woman I met on our trip. I think we’re both wondering if that’s who we are in real life.”
“And how are you going to figure that out if you don’t even try? Take her out on a date or something?”
“What are you now, a therapist?” Eric got up from his chair and paced to the window. “Look, I appreciate the advice. I do. But...” He stopped. But what? He was afraid? Hell, yes, he was afraid. But did he love her?
His biggest fear was that what they’d had wasn’t real. The only way he could know for sure was to put himself out there. But that wasn’t so easy to do. Not for a guy who had kept himself closed off for years.
“I’m just going by what she said and what she saw. She’s miserable, Chambault. I think she went there hoping for a big reunion and she got everything but. How would you feel if she talked about how great her life was now but never mentioned that she wanted you to have a part in it?”
When put that way, it made sense. Perfect sense. And explained why he’d blown it so badly.
“I really messed it up, huh?” he said quietly, turning back to face the other man.
“Yeah, you did. Hey, we’ll figure out this company thing. I’m incredibly happy that you’re sticking around and I’m on board with working with you. But I really came here today because of Molly. I kind of feel responsible for what happened, and I want her to be happy. Even if it’s not with me.”
Eric looked straight into Ryan’s face. He was dead serious. He truly cared about Molly if he was willing to step aside if it meant she’d be happy. That Ryan seemed to think it might be with him...well, he’d never been one to give up easily. Not when it was something he really wanted.
And the truth was, he wanted Molly in his life. Wanted it more than he wanted to protect himself and his heart. It had taken until now for him to truly realize it.
“It needs to be perfect,” he said, shoving his hand in his pocket and gripping his coffee cup.
A grin spread across Ryan’s face. “Then I have an idea. What you need to do is...”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
IT HAD BEEN a surprise to get Ryan’s invitation to dinner at the Merchant Seafarer, but Molly had agreed for several reasons. One, the hotel marked the moment in time when she’d embarked on a life change, and despite her heartbreak, she didn’t actually regret any of it. Two, the Seafarer had some of the best cuisine in New England, and a gorgeous view of the Atlantic from the verandas. And three, it was her birthday, and it felt as if everyone had forgotten. Dinner with a friend on your birthday beat out staying home with a pint of ice cream and the leftover half of a bottle of wine every time.
He’d sent a car for her, to drive her all the way from Boston to Nantucket. When she’d protested, he’d said it was a birthday present and to be quiet, in his humorous kind of way. So she’d thanked him, and when the car had arrived this afternoon, she’d slipped into the back seat and decided to enjoy the ride. She put in earbuds and listened to her favorite playlist for a while, then simply sat and enjoyed the scenery, even nodding off once for fifteen minutes or so. When she woke, she opened her compact and tidied her makeup. He’d told her to dress up, so she’d donned a dress that had been in her closet for ages but she’d never worn: a knee-length black cocktail dress that skimmed over every curve to her waist and then flared out in a fifties-style skirt. It was very Rosemary Clooney–esque, and made Molly feel as if she were embracing her figure rather than fighting it.
And absolutely no Spanx. Those ten pounds were fine right where they were.
The car pulled up to the pillared portico at the resort and Molly tucked her ea
rbuds into her clutch along with her phone—the new one she’d bought to replace the cheap pay-as-you-go she’d bought in Victoria. An attendant opened her door, and she stepped out, feeling rather princess-like. It was only the realization that she was meeting Ryan that put a damper on the fairy-tale feeling. He was nice enough. He was a good friend. But he’d never be anything more.
And then she looked up at the steps and her heart stopped.
It wasn’t Ryan standing there. It was Eric, dressed in a flawless tuxedo, watching her with bald admiration in his eyes.
She took one step, then another. He waited, let her ascend the steps on her own, and when she was two steps away, he held out his hand.
It was trembling.
She put her hand in his, palm to palm, and his fingers closed around hers.
“You’re not Ryan,” she murmured, looking into his eyes.
“No. It was part of the surprise. Is it okay that it’s me?”
She considered saying no, of not putting herself out there to be hurt again, but when all was said and done, she and Eric had always spoken the truth. “It’s more than okay,” she admitted, her voice shaking. “I just don’t understand.”
“You will,” he assured her. “I promise.” He lifted their joined hands and kissed her fingers. “Tonight I’m going to say all the things I should have said earlier. And then, Molly, you’re going to have my heart in your hands.”
She wanted to press him to ask what that meant, but she’d already learned that with Eric, anticipation was exciting and oh, so worth it. She did have one request, though, that she couldn’t wait for. “Could you do me one thing, before we go in?” she asked.
“What’s that?”
She lifted her chin. “Could you kiss me, please?”
His eyes locked with hers, suddenly hot and intense. “Oui, ma chère,” he answered, taking the one step necessary to be close enough. His lashes settled on his cheeks as he closed his eyes and his lips touched hers. The kiss was gentle, yet deliberate and persuasive. When they both opened their eyes, she was sure there were probably stars in hers and her knees were wobbly.
Nothing had changed. Not for her. And he was here, right now, in a designer tux, holding her hand, taking her for dinner in one of the most exclusive resorts in New England.
That had to be worth something.
So she let him lead her inside to a private corner of the dining room, where they indulged in oysters and duck and wine and a pumpkin-spice soufflé that was so incredible Molly almost wished she had room for more. By tacit agreement, they talked about day-to-day events during the meal, but always Molly was aware of the way he looked at her and somehow got the feeling that the things they really needed to say would be said before the night was over. Indeed, as they lingered over Irish coffee, Eric reached over and took her hand. “Molly, there were things I should have said the other day at lunch that I didn’t. I’d like to say them now. Will you come outside with me?”
She nodded, feeling that familiar and welcome fluttering in her belly at his words. This was the Eric she remembered. Subtly seductive, so attentive. The man she’d dined with in Campbell River and in Tofino, when promises of the night to come were never spoken but always communicated.
Together they left the dining room and went outside to the enormous wraparound veranda that looked out over the vast Atlantic. The sun was setting now, and a chill had settled on the air. Eric took one look at her bare shoulders and removed his jacket, draping it over hers. “I forgot how cool it gets in the evening,” he said.
“It’s okay. I love being out here and smelling the sea air. Hearing the waves. It reminds me of our base camp.”
“It was an amazing trip.” He twined his fingers with hers as they approached the white railing. “In so many ways, but mostly because you were there. Always challenging me.”
She shook her head and exhaled out of her nose, a little scoff at his last words. “Me? I was the one so afraid half the time.”
“But even then, you were challenging me to open up. I couldn’t help myself, Molly. That’s what’s so miraculous about it all.”
He turned to her and held both her hands. “When we had lunch together, I told you all about my family and the business decision, but I didn’t tell you the most important part. I thought you didn’t want to hear it. Fortunately a friend of yours set me straight.”
“Ryan.”
He nodded. “He came to me and told me I was being an idiot for letting you go and not fighting for you. When I looked past my jealousy, I knew he was right.”
“He set this up for you tonight.”
“I wasn’t sure you’d come if I asked. And I wanted it to be special.” He squeezed her fingers. “He’s a good guy, your friend Ryan.” He emphasized the word friend, making her laugh a little.
“So what did Ryan say?”
Eric held her gaze as he said, “That I should tell you that none of this would have happened without you. That you taught me how to open my heart. If I hadn’t done that, I couldn’t have tried again with my family. I wouldn’t have decided on this business decision. And I wouldn’t be able to stand here and tell you without a doubt that I fell in love with you on that trip and I’d like the chance to be in love with you now, if you feel the same way.”
“You love me?”
He nodded. “I was afraid that the trip was a fantasy. Like, maybe not who we really were. But, Molly, I really think that for those ten days we were exactly who we are deep down, without the daily grind dragging us down and shaping us into... I don’t know. There was a freedom to it and I love who that Molly is. I love the way she makes me laugh, and smile, and think about things, and pushes me to relax, and makes me want to be a better man with a better heart.”
“Oh, Eric...”
“You make me want to live better, Molly. The money doesn’t provide security. Only love does that, and I’ve been denying it for too long. But I need you to make the picture complete.”
Tears gathered on her lashes and she blinked quickly to clear them away. She didn’t want him to be blurry or wobbly when she looked into his eyes and said the words she’d wanted to when she’d seen him again.
“Since I came home, every time I took a step forward I wanted to call you and share it with you. When we started emailing, I thought perhaps we’d moved past what happened that last morning. I never wanted us to be over, Eric. Not that day on the plane, not at lunch. I always wanted us to at least try. I know it was a vacation, but I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”
“I was such an idiot that day.” He took her hand and placed it on his heart, over the crisp white material of his shirt. “You wanted to talk and we could have worked it out. The truth was I got such cold feet. I felt so much for you it terrified me, and I used it as an excuse to run. Molly, I was married and I can honestly say that I’ve never felt this way before. Like if you walk away you’ll be taking my heart with you. I’ve kept my heart locked up for so long, afraid of having it broken. But you—you got past all those barriers. I don’t know how, but you did.”
“You were left when you were so little, by the person who was supposed to love you the most,” she said softly, putting her other hand on his cheek. “That little boy is still afraid of being hurt. And the man he’s become is so compelling, so strong and tender. Maybe you didn’t want to open yourself up to those emotions, but the way you took care of me the night I had my nightmare...” Her lips trembled as emotion swept over her. “The nights we made love. I can’t just forget those times. They’re a part of me now.”
“And of me.” He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her, tuxedo jacket and all. “I want to try, Molly. I don’t know how we’re going to work out the long-distance thing, though having business in the state helps a lot. But I’m committed, and that’s something new for me. I’m committed because I love you, and I can’t i
magine my life without you. Please say you’re willing to try.”
This was what she’d wanted all along. Not a guarantee that everything would work out perfectly; all her years as a family-law attorney had thoroughly disabused her of that idea. But she wanted someone who loved her enough to try, to attempt to move mountains because she was worth it. Someone who accepted her for who she was, with no adjustments necessary. Not a trophy. Not a stand-in for her brother. Just her. And she was enough.
“Of course I’m willing to try. That trip? It was a once-in-a-lifetime trip. It just follows that falling in love is a once-in-a-lifetime event, too. I’d be foolish to let that slip through my fingers.”
His fingers were now twining through her hair, and she loved the feel of them against her scalp, playing with the strands as his gaze delved deeply into hers. “Yes,” he agreed, “you would.”
And then he kissed her properly, with the sound of the breakers on the sand behind them and the salt tang of the sea in the air. She lifted her arms and his jacket fell to the veranda floor, but she didn’t care. She curled into his embrace and kissed him back, finally feeling as if she were truly home. Where she belonged.
“I love you, Eric,” she whispered, tightening her arms around his neck. “I wasn’t looking for it, didn’t expect it, but I love you.”
“I love you, too,” he whispered, hugging her so tightly she could barely take a good breath.
He kissed her again, then let go and held her hand. “So where do we go from here?” he asked.
She grinned. “That’s easy. It doesn’t matter, as long as we go together. For now, you’ll be close by with the new company, and it’s a short, direct flight to Montreal. We’ll start there and figure everything else out as we go.”
“Sounds perfect.” He pulled her in against his side, and they watched the waves together. “Molly, that night of the benefit? I lost the bid, but right now I’m feeling like I just won the jackpot.”