by T. K. Leigh
“The thought’s crossed my mind. I doubt anyone would actually believe any of the stuff is plausible. It all sounds crazy, don’t you think?”
“Before today, I would have thought the same thing. Now I get the feeling the stories you’ve shared are only the tip of the iceberg.”
“Oh, honey. You have no idea.”
We both laugh and I finish the rest of my manhattan, standing up. “I’m going to get another drink. Want one?”
“Sure. Would you like me to come with you?”
“Nah. You stay here so we don’t lose our table. We’ve secured a prime piece of real estate to people-watch.” With a wink, I spin from her, squeezing through the throngs of people to make my way to the bar, ignoring the stares as I do.
Now that the party’s in full force, the bar is much busier than when we first arrived. While I wait to place my order, I scan the pool area, amazed that this kind of party is an everyday occurrence here. Most people would plan all year to throw a celebration of this magnitude. Here, it’s just Wednesday.
As I continue soaking in the atmosphere, I stiffen when I see a familiar face a few yards away. My heart drops to my stomach as he wraps his arm around a petite woman’s waist before raising a scotch to his lips. Lips I once kissed. Lips that once told me how much he loved me. Lips I used to make smile daily. I’m no longer the reason they smile. The woman at his side is.
He leans down and kisses her forehead, bringing her even closer, as if he can’t stand to be any farther from her than necessary. An ache builds in my throat, in my limbs, in my soul as I’m forced to witness their exchange. Sensing my stare, Trevor flicks his eyes in my direction. When he sees me, he flinches, his muscles growing taut.
I remain frozen in place, dumbstruck, unsure what I’m supposed to do. I should have anticipated running into them, considering Julian did mention Theresa is a friend of his neighbor. I just didn’t expect to come face-to-face with them at my first party. Based on the confusion covering Trevor’s brow, he didn’t anticipate this, either.
Just then, an arm snakes around my waist and I snap my head up, meeting Julian’s concerned gaze.
“Guinevere?”
I blink, wishing something as simple as a kiss didn’t have this effect on me. But we were together twelve years. How can I just forget that? I’m on a see-saw. One minute, I want to write off Trevor. The next, I want him to tell me he’s made a mistake.
“Are you okay?”
With a quick nod, I avert my eyes, hiding the emotions coming to the surface. But Julian won’t let me, grabbing my chin and tilting my head back.
“He’s a fool,” he whispers, leaning toward me.
“He looks happy, doesn’t he?”
“So what if he does?”
I pull my lips between my teeth to stop my chin from quivering, trying to avoid making a scene in front of all these people…and Trevor.
“Because I’m supposed to be the one who makes him happy. That’s always been my job. How can he—”
“Like I said, he’s a fool. You make me happy,” he offers in consolation.
I lower my voice to barely above a whisper. “But it’s not real.”
“My happiness when I’m with you? It’s more real than anything I’ve felt in a long time, even if the rest of this is only for show. And I want you to be happy, too. So tell me what it’ll take to make you happy, and I’ll do it.”
I laugh as I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. “A dartboard with Theresa’s face on it.”
“Consider it done,” he responds in a lively voice. “Would you like another with Trevor’s face? Or perhaps a punching bag?”
“I certainly wouldn’t send it back.” I wipe the few tears from my eyes. It’s surprising how quickly Julian can make me smile, even when facing heartbreak.
“Good.”
I peer into his eyes, his compassion seeming to mend the rips caused by Trevor. “Thank you.”
When he brings his hand to my face, rubbing his thumb under my eye to erase one last tear, a shiver trickles through me, my sadness and despair turning into something else.
“I don’t care what it takes. I want to show you that you deserve more than he gave you. No woman deserves to be with someone who doesn’t appreciate them. And Trevor didn’t appreciate you, not if he broke up with you because you no longer fit into his idea of perfection. You deserve someone who will appreciate you. Never settle for anything less. Okay?”
“It’s not as easy as you make it sound, not after twelve years.”
“I know. But with time, it will be.”
I nod, unsure if I like the idea of getting over Trevor. Since I was eighteen, he’s been a part of me. It’s hard to picture life without him. Divorced couples must go through this, still sleeping on the same side of the bed, even though the other person’s no longer there. Still sitting in the same chair at the dining room table, even though you now have your choice. Still using the same bathroom sink to brush your teeth, even though they’re both now yours.
Feeling another crack in my armor, I look back at Julian. “I need to use the ladies’ room. I’ll be right back.” I go to turn from him, but he grabs my arm, stopping me, forcing me to face him once more.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I insist. Sensing curious eyes watching us, I place my hand on his chest, then raise myself onto my toes, inching toward his neck. “Never better,” I murmur. When my lips touch his cheek, he inhales a sharp breath.
All afternoon, we’ve shared more than a few sensual touches — a brush of his hand on my leg, a finger smoothing an unruly wave behind my ear, his hand intertwining with mine. But there’s been nothing more. Until now. In fact, I’ve never had the pleasure of experiencing the warmth of his skin on my lips, the scruff from his unshaven jaw harsh and piercing, but invigorating at the same time. I didn’t think I’d like it, considering Trevor always kept his jawline smooth. But something about Julian’s two-day beard stirs me to life, replacing my despair with yearning, desire…hope.
When I pull back, Julian’s eyes find mine, both of us powerless to look away. It was only a chaste kiss on the cheek, but in it I felt something I hadn’t in a long time…a spark. Based on the bewilderment in his expression, I surmise he felt it, too.
“Bathroom,” he says, finally finding his voice, snapping me out of my daydream.
“Right. Bathroom.” I peer at him for a few more seconds, then spin from him, trying with everything to regain my composure.
As I’m about to duck into the house, I glance over my shoulder, a jolt of electricity coursing through me when I notice Julian’s eyes glued to my body. In that moment, I don’t even notice Trevor standing just a few feet away. Maybe this is why Julian walked into my life. Not to take Trevor’s place, but to help mend my heart so I can move on. Maybe Chloe was onto something when she formulated her motto, “You live. You learn. You upgrade.” Perhaps Julian is my chance to upgrade, even if for just a few months.
Feeling hopefully optimistic, I continue into the house, navigating the long corridors to the guest bathroom, which is just as spacious and luxurious as the rest of the house. To my surprise, there’s no line. I step inside, allowing myself a minute to breathe for the first time all afternoon.
Once I’m refreshed and ready to face the party, I walk back through the stunning home. I didn’t have a chance to truly admire its beauty when I first arrived, but now that I’m alone, I take a moment to soak up my surroundings. While Julian’s house is impressive, this place makes it look like a shack. High, decorative ceilings. Crown molding. Furniture that looks like it’s merely for show. Artwork. Sculptures. Fountains. I feel like I’m in a museum, not a person’s home.
As I reach the ornate living room, my eyes focus on a painting hanging on the far wall. From the limited exposure I’ve had to art, it appears to be impressionist. Broad brushstrokes and muted colors. I step toward it to get a better look.
“Do you like art?” a voice inquires.
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I whirl around to see a man I estimate to be in his forties approach. He has a touch of silver in his beard, making him look distinguished. He has a full head of dark hair and mesmerizing gray eyes I’d recognize anywhere.
“Holy crap,” I say, covering my heart with my hand. “You’re Ethan Ludlow.”
“Guilty as charged.” He winks, approaching me. “And you must be the lovely Guinevere I’ve been hearing about all afternoon.”
“Trust me, I doubt anything you’ve heard is true.”
“Not much you hear about in the Hamptons is.” He leans against the wall, crossing his arms. “But it’s not all bad. And it’s not all lies. I can now confirm a few things with my own eyes.”
“And what’s that?” I smooth a strand of hair behind my ear, trying not to freak out over the idea that I’m standing here, having a casual conversation with Ethan Ludlow, child actor who rose to fame playing on one of the longest-running sitcoms in the 80s. He had a leading role in a few movies during his teens and twenties, then decided to try his hand directing and producing. The movies with his name attached are some of the most popular ones out there. And I’m standing next to him. I want to pinch myself to make sure this is real.
“You have some incredible…assets.” He waggles his brows and a chill instantly envelopes me as he advances. The stench of alcohol wafts from his breath, and I back up as my heart drops to the pit of my stomach.
I grit out a smile, brushing him off as Sadie’s warning about this kind of thing plays in my head. While there are some good guys here, a lot of them think their overflowing bank accounts allow them to have anything they want. They don’t realize there are things in this world that can’t be bought. And what they can’t buy, they simply take.
“I suppose they could be saying much worse. If you’ll excuse me, I should be getting back to the party.”
“I heard you’re a writer for a magazine,” he says, preventing my retreat. “I’m always interested in meeting new writers to see what kind of ideas they have. Ever consider working in the film industry?” He leers at me.
I wish I had more than this flimsy coverup on. Every time Julian had stolen a glance, he gazed at me in a way that made me feel like the most beautiful woman around. This guy makes me feel like I’m a piece of meat. Is that how he looks at every woman?
“I’m happy at the magazine.” I attempt to sidestep him, but he mirrors my movement, blocking me again.
“Come now. There’s a vast difference between working for a women’s magazine and working on a script for the next blockbuster. Who wouldn’t want to be involved in something like that? People would kill to be in your shoes right now.” He closes the distance, the heat of his breath like the blade of thousands of knives. “In more ways than one.”
I swallow down the bile rising in my throat, unable to believe this is actually how Ethan Ludlow behaves. Growing up, he had the persona of being a wholesome kid from a great family. Hell, he’s married to Sonia Moreno. They’re the Hollywood power couple. Why would he be hitting on me when he has someone as stunning as Sonia at home?
“Like I said…” I attempt to mask the tremor in my voice, peering over his shoulder in the hopes of finding a familiar face. Unfortunately, no one here is familiar. “I’m happy at the magazine.”
When he places his hand against the wall, I duck underneath it, walking as fast as my legs can carry me. I only make it a few feet before a pair of arms wrap tightly around me, pulling me against a hard body. Instinct kicks in and I struggle, thinking it’s Ethan. But it’s not, the arms holding me warm and familiar. When I look up, I stare into Julian’s frantic and concerned eyes. He rakes his gaze over me, trying to figure out what has me so rattled. Then he glares over my shoulder, every muscle in his body tensing.
“Julian,” Ethan says as he approaches. Julian’s protective grip tightens around me. “Good to see you again. I was just getting to know your girlfriend here.” He continues past us, smirking, holding his head high and acting as if he can do whatever he wants. “I’m looking forward to getting to know her even better over the next few months.”
Julian doesn’t utter a single word, staring him down until he disappears through the living room. Once he’s out of view, Julian returns his attention to me, scanning my body for any hint of harm.
“Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you, did he?” His voice sounds frenzied, desperate.
“I’m fine,” I assure him. “He’s just like every other asshole here who thinks they can treat women like property.”
“Except for me.”
I open my mouth to agree, but he is using me as a pawn in whatever game he’s playing.
“Except for me,” he repeats, this time firmer. “Right?”
“It doesn’t matter.” I push away from him, but he’s in front of me before I can return to the party.
“It does, Guinevere. It matters to me. I don’t…” He runs a hand through his hair, tugging at it.
“It’s okay, Julian.” I cup his cheek, offering him a comforting smile as I lower my voice so no one overhears. “I knew what I was getting into when I signed up for this. We’re both using each other. We’re both pawns in this game. Nothing more.”
I drop my hold on him, exiting the house and immersing myself back into the party. The sun’s begun to set, casting a glow on the pool deck. Without the hot rays beating down on me, the air is comfortable, especially with the gentle breeze coming off the ocean wrapping around my skin.
As I search for any sign of Sadie, a hand clutches my bicep, forcing me around to see Julian’s determined stare.
“Don’t ever think you’re a pawn to me, Guinevere.” His voice is harsh, powerful, yet sincere. As much as I want to think this is just another part of his game, something about it feels too convincing, too…real. “You’re not.” He takes a breath. When he speaks again, his words come out barely above a whisper.
“Yes, we may be putting on a show to get what we need, what we both deserve, but don’t ever think for a second I view you as a piece of property. I respect you, more than you realize. Just because we have a bit of an unconventional relationship doesn’t lessen that.” He runs a soft finger along the contours of my face. I shiver, the reaction as surprising and expected as everything with Julian seems to be. “You are so much more than any of that. You are…”
“Yes?” I lick my lips as I tilt my head, losing myself in the depth of his eyes.
“You are…” He places a hand on the small of my back, pulling my body against his. My heart pounds against my ribcage. No longer out of fear or dread, but out of desire and anticipation. My chest rises and falls in a quicker pattern, every inch of me desperate for his next move. I shouldn’t be this turned on by him. I shouldn’t want his hands on me. Still, I can’t help but wonder what could be.
“Yes?”
“You are…unexpected.”
“Good unexpected or scary unexpected?”
He chuckles. “Good unexpected.” His buoyant expression turns serious as he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth. I can see a war raging within. “And scary unexpected,” he adds, releasing his hold on my lower back and bringing his hand to my face.
When he runs his thumb along my bottom lip, I plump it out. Electricity courses through my veins as the heat of his breath grows closer and closer. I brace myself for his kiss. I welcome his kiss. In twelve years, I’ve only known one man’s kiss, one man’s arms, one man’s body. Perhaps it’s time I experience something new, too. I may regret it tomorrow. Hell, I may regret it in a few minutes. But right now, I just want to be kissed again.
As I inch even closer, a body unexpectedly slams into me. Everything seems to play in slow motion as I struggle to regain my balance. Julian reaches out, scrambling to grab onto me, but gravity is not my friend, and with unceremonious grace, I fall into the pool.
When I resurface, I wipe at my eyes, seeing all the partygoers staring in my direction, and my cheeks flush in embarrassment. I normally don’t
care about making a complete fool of myself. But here, I’m self-conscious, especially when I notice everyone whispering amongst themselves as they gawk at the poor girl who got bumped into the pool.
Thankfully, Sadie soon emerges from the crowd, a cool confidence about her. “Well, it is a pool party, isn’t it?”
She steps out of her sandals that I can only imagine cost a small fortune. Leaving her drink on a nearby table, she dives into the pool with the practiced expertise of a swimmer. When she pops her head above the water, she meets my eyes, winking.
I pass her a grateful smile, unsure how I’ll ever repay her for doing this. I shrug out of my now soaked coverup and take my shoes off, tossing them onto the pool deck just as I notice Julian removing his shirt. I keep my eyes trained on him, unable to look away from his chiseled physique, everything about it near perfection, except for the scars on his abdomen. In my eyes, those scars are part of the fabric that makes up who he is, although I’d love to learn the story behind them.
With a smirk, he cannonballs into the pool, disappearing beneath the surface. Before I know it, dozens of people jump in, some of them wearing their street clothes, the alcohol encouraging them on.
As my eyes scan the sudden festive environment, I notice Theresa and Trevor standing off to the side. She pulls on his hand, attempting to get him to join in the revelry. He refuses, excusing himself and heading into the house. I shouldn’t feel partly responsible for his sour mood, considering he broke up with me. But despite everything, I still care about him.
I’m about to find my way out of the pool to talk to him when an arm loops around my waist. Spinning around, I meet Julian’s eyes, smiling. Like two puzzle pieces locking into place, I drape my arms over his shoulders, making anyone think we’ve done this dance dozens of times before. I do my best to ward off the electricity flooding through me as we remain chest to chest, our wet flesh pressed against each other.