by T. K. Leigh
“And I see a woman living the fairy tale we all secretly hope for. Enjoy it.”
I meet her eyes, smiling a small smile. “I am.”
We remain on the verandah for a little longer, making the rounds as Sadie introduces me to even more people. After a while, I politely excuse myself, wanting to take a moment to freshen up. I feel as if my earlier indiscretions with Julian are plastered on my face, in my eyes, on my complexion.
Once my makeup is refreshed and I ensure it doesn’t appear as if I’d just had one of the best orgasms of my life, I make my way out of the bathroom and back toward the ballroom. As I skirt past dancing couples, I spy the bar and decide to make a detour before rejoining Sadie.
Approaching the counter, I catch the bartender’s eyes and order a manhattan, draping Julian’s jacket along the surface of the bar. When he places the drink in front of me, I thank him, opening my clutch to leave a tip. All I have are a few hundreds that Julian left me this morning to use for gratuity at the spa. With a shrug, I place one down. The bartender doesn’t even flinch. I surmise he must get that a lot at these kinds of parties.
“You really love those things, don’t you?” a voice comments as I take my first sip. I look over the top of my glass to see Trevor standing before me.
“It’s a step up from the Boone’s Farm we drank freshman year.”
He laughs at the memory, a boyish glint in his eyes. It reminds me of the Trevor I first met all those years ago. The one who used to paint his face red for football games. Who used to drag me out to have snowball fights during the winter. Who stood on one of the tables in the dining hall and shouted to the world, or at least a small portion of the student body of the University of Nebraska, how much he loved me.
Then his expression hardens, leaving the man he’s turned into. A serious, workaholic who bears no resemblance to the Trevor I fell in love with. Does he feel the same when he looks at me? Is that why he ended things? Did we really commit the awful crime of being too blind to realize we’d fallen out of love with each other?
“You look good, G.”
“You clean up pretty nice yourself.” Spying a piece of lint on the lapel of his tuxedo jacket, I reach for it and brush it off, an old habit. Once, it felt normal to do something like this. Now it’s different. It’s not my job anymore. I don’t want it to be my job anymore.
I raise my glass to my lips, looking around the ballroom. A few weeks ago I would have done anything to have a chance to talk to Trevor like this. Now all I can think is that I hope Julian won’t be upset I’m speaking to him, as ridiculous as that sounds.
“I mean it. You look… Wow. I barely even recognize you.”
“I could say the same about you.”
He furrows his brow. “What do you mean? I wore suits nearly every day the past few years. But you… You seem like a completely different person than I remember.”
“That’s the problem then, isn’t it?” I place my drink on the bar, squaring my shoulders. “Because I’m the same exact girl I was when you broke up with me, Trevor. I haven’t changed much in the past twelve years. Sure, I may have a few more pounds and bigger breasts, but everything about me is the same. The way I sleep. The way I talk…” I trail off, my voice wavering, more out of frustration than heartache. Frustration I didn’t see the truth years ago. “The way I love. It just wasn’t enough for you.”
I’d kept my feelings locked up for years, even though I constantly advised my readers not to, that the hallmark of a solid relationship is being open and honest, that keeping your feelings hidden is simply a ticking time bomb. I did just that. I smiled and pretended to be someone I wasn’t so Trevor would love me. Nothing about our relationship was ever real. This thing I have with Julian is more real than the love I thought I shared with Trevor.
I lean toward him, my eyes fierce, the veins in my neck strained as I finally tell him exactly how I feel.
“At least now I’m with someone who thinks I am enough, who thinks I am serious enough to be with. He appreciates me, quirky sense of humor and all.” I grab Julian’s coat off the bar and turn from Trevor. I only make it a few steps before I stop, whirling around to face him once more.
“You know what? Maybe I have changed. Maybe I was tired of having to be someone I wasn’t just to make you happy. I’m done with that. Now is the time to make myself happy. And Julian makes me happier than you ever did.” My chest heaves as emotions overwhelm me. Then I lower my voice. “I’m just sorry it took me twelve years to realize this. Goodbye, Trevor.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
“Okay, tell me everything,” Chloe orders as she flies into my cubicle a little before five on Monday.
She plops onto the free chair, interrupting me from sorting through more of my scribblings about August Laurent. We exchanged several emails over the weekend, in which he revealed more information about his background. Now I’m trying to organize everything into an outline to make it easier to determine which direction to go with his story.
“Nice to see you, too,” I respond sarcastically. “Where have you been? And why are you just getting in when it’s practically time to leave?”
She smooths her hair behind her ear, avoiding my eyes, which is the Chloe tell that she’s purposefully being evasive. “This isn’t about me. This is about you. How did it go?”
I study her, unable to shake the feeling she’s keeping something from me, but I’ve been itching to see her since Julian dropped me off at her apartment yesterday afternoon. A nice surprise since I expected Reed to drive me again. When she wasn’t home, I had no option but to obsess over every little thing that happened, which resulted in the conclusion that Julian is obviously bipolar. Or, better yet, suffering from multiple personality disorder. What other explanation is there?
“Come on, Evie! Dish!”
“I don’t even know where to begin.” It’s true. It seems like a lifetime’s passed since I stepped into that chauffeured town car and was whisked off to the Hamptons for a weekend of excess and privilege.
“Start with what happened when you got there.”
I sit back in my chair as I stare into the distance, trying to collect my thoughts. “To be honest, I wasn’t sure what to expect, how Julian would act around me, considering this is just supposed to be a business relationship. But when I saw him and he saw me…” A blush builds on my cheeks as I recall the adoration in his eyes when they fell on me wearing that two-piece.
“Yeah?”
“There was a spark.”
“But…” She arches a brow, sensing there’s more.
“But every single action, every word made me question his motivation. I constantly got swept up in the moment and believed it was all real, only to be reminded it wasn’t the next minute. The entire weekend, I felt like we were on a see-saw or playing a constant game of tug-of-war. He’d have me so wrapped up in him I’d forget the reason I was there. Then he’d retreat, acting like I had some infectious disease. And at the gala…” I trail off.
“Yeah?”
“It’s just…” I fidget with my hands, still struggling with how to process what happened on the verandah during the fireworks display. Once we left the party, we hadn’t spoken of it. For the rest of the weekend, it was as if it had never happened. At first, I considered it to be a good thing. Now I’m not too sure.
“What is it, Evie?” She places her hand on my knee, her voice filled with compassion. “You know you can tell me anything.”
I blow out a breath, lifting my eyes to meet hers. “Things got a little…heated.” Butterflies flit in my stomach at the memory. “Actually, things got very heated.”
“Heated?” This catches Chloe’s attention. “Heated how?”
I chew on my lower lip, trying to find the right words.
“Come on, Evie!” she all but shrieks. “You’re a sex and dating columnist for crying out loud. This shit is what you do for a living.”
“He touched me,” I blurt out.
S
he waggles her brows as a slow smile builds on her mouth. “Where? Your arm?”
“You know where,” I scoff, rolling my eyes before swooning from the memory. “God, Chloe…” I squeeze my legs together. Just discussing this leaves my body desperate for more. “It was so wild, so crazy, so out of character for me.” I lower my voice, inching closer to her. “We were on the verandah. It was a little chilly, so he draped his tux jacket over my shoulders. Then he wrapped his arms around me, keeping me warm. One thing led to another and before I could stop the train from derailing, he slipped his hand under the slit of my dress and took me to pleasure town.”
She stares at me, processing my story.
“I wore this dress with a long, flowing skirt. There was so much fabric, it masked what was really going on.”
She waves me off. “I know what you were wearing.”
I blink at her. “You do?”
“Of course. Photos were all over the gossip websites as everyone tried to figure out who the mystery woman on Julian Gage’s arm was. That’s not what I’m questioning.”
“It’s not?” I ask, unsure what to think of my photo being plastered all over the Internet. I knew this would happen, but I’d been living in my fantasy world all weekend. This explains why my mother’s been trying to get in touch with me. She probably saw my picture with someone other than Trevor. I make a mental note to call her and tell her we broke up, considering I no longer have any interest in getting back together with him.
“Pleasure town, Evie?” Chloe bursts into a giggling fit. “Really? That’s what you’re going with? Did you ride his rocket all the way there, too?”
“No! There was no rocket riding. There was no rocket fondling. Hell, I never even caught a glimpse of the launch pad, although I certainly felt it.” I laugh along with Chloe. This is exactly what I needed, a few moments with one of my best friends to make sense out of the weekend.
“But he worked your…command center?”
“Did he ever. The fireworks in the sky were nothing compared to the explosions down below. He knows his way around…ground control.”
“Okay, okay.” Chloe waves her hands in front of her, tears forming in the corner of her eyes as she struggles to breathe. “You need to stop with all these spaceship references or I’ll never be able to watch Apollo 13 again, and you know how much I love Kevin Bacon.”
It takes a few minutes, but our laughter gradually wanes. When it does, she comments, “So you broke the no kissing rule.”
“What? No.”
“But you let him—”
“Explore ground control,” I interrupt with a smile.
“Find your pleasure center,” she corrects, “yet you still refuse to kiss him?”
“It worked for Julia Roberts’ character in Pretty Woman.”
“Actually, it didn’t. She still ended up falling for Edward.”
“Because she kissed him. I haven’t kissed Julian; ergo, I won’t fall for him.”
She assesses me with her analytical stare, then states, “Are you sure you haven’t already?”
“I’m not sure of anything, Chloe,” I admit after a pause. “All I do know is being with Julian made me realize I haven’t been true to myself. I put on an act for Trevor so he’d love me. You were right. I shouldn’t waste my time on someone who doesn’t appreciate me for me. And Julian does. He makes me happy, makes me feel beautiful. Even if it’s only for a few months, it’ll be worth it.”
Her eyes brimming with enthusiasm, she wraps her arms around me, planting a kiss on my temple. “I’m happy for you. Don’t think about the future. Have fun. Live in the moment. Let Julian explore your command center until he has all its functions worked out properly. Hell, maybe you can even play on his launch pad.”
I laugh, this entire conversation bordering on ridiculous, but in a way that makes me feel incredibly grounded in reality.
Pulling away, she holds me at arm’s length, her eyes trained on mine. “You’ve always been a planner, and I love that about you. Your obsession with planning out every second of every day with stickers and notes is quirky and adorable and what makes Evie…Evie.” She drops her hold on me, then continues. “I’ll admit, I was skeptical of this arrangement at first, since I know how you are, but now… I don’t know. You’re...different. I like this side of Evie. You’re confident and self-assured.”
I give her a sanctimonious look. “I’ve always been confident and self-assured. Need I remind you I got up in front of an entire bar a few weeks ago and told them all about my embarrassing breakup?”
“That doesn’t make you confident and self-assured. All that evidences is the fact you’ve been screaming for someone to notice you because Trevor never did. Now someone finally has. So who cares if nothing comes out of this? Stop making plans for the future. Enjoy the ride.” She pulls me closer again.
“On his rocket ship,” I add, then we both burst out laughing.
“Come on,” Chloe says when she sees it’s after five. “Let’s go surprise Nora at the yoga studio and hijack one of her classes.”
I get up from my chair, grateful for one night of normalcy in a life I have trouble recognizing these days. “That sounds perfect.”
I gather my things, and within a few minutes, we’re in the elevator on our way to the lobby. As it descends, I steal a glance at Chloe and smile. She scrunches her brows, knowing I’m about to do something crazy. When I start singing Elton John’s “Rocket Man”, she stifles a laugh, covering her mouth with her hand. Everyone else in the elevator glances sideways at us. Then Chloe joins in, which causes me to sing louder. Much to my amusement, a few of our fellow passengers join in. By the time the elevator reaches the lobby, we’re all singing the chorus. But we don’t stop once we exit. We continue belting out the lyrics as we all make our way toward the doors.
I’m so wrapped up in the strange, impromptu moment that could only happen in a place like New York City, and in a building that houses a slew of magazine offices, I almost don’t recognize the man leaning against a column in the lobby until Chloe grabs my arm, forcing me to stop.
My breath hitches when my eyes fall on Julian. He looks rather dashing in the charcoal gray suit he makes casual by foregoing the tie and leaving the top few buttons of his shirt undone. Sunglasses obscure those deep blue orbs that are permanently ingrained in my head, but I can still feel their heat. Everything about him is so effortless, so confident, so compelling. It’s no wonder everyone passing him pauses to look. A few women even giggle, probably wishing they were lucky enough to spend time with him. But I’m the lucky one. I think…
He pushes off the column and walks toward me, lowering his sunglasses. “Guinevere…”
The way my name rolls off his tongue is incredibly erotic. Even more so now that I’ve been treated to a taste of his bedroom voice.
“Julian.” I straighten my posture, doing everything to make it appear as if his presence doesn’t have my stomach in knots.
“Do I want to know what caused that impromptu rendition of ‘Rocket Man’?”
“Definitely not.” I can only imagine his reaction if he were to find out Chloe and I reduced what happened on the verandah to aeronautical terminology.
“I didn’t think so.”
I attempt to slow my racing heart as we stare at each other. I hadn’t expected to see him again until Friday morning when I’m to head back to the Hamptons to attend a charity art auction aboard some heavy hitter’s ridiculously large yacht. At least I didn’t think I was supposed to see him. Perhaps I overlooked something.
“Good to see you, Chloe,” Julian says, finally acknowledging I’m not alone.
“You, as well, Julian. To what do we owe the…pleasure?” She discreetly pinches my side. I bat her away, struggling to maintain my composure.
“I came to collect Guinevere.” He shifts his gaze back to mine, a mysterious aloofness about him.
“Did I forget about something?” Frantic, I reach into my commuter bag to retr
ieve my planner, where every event I’m set to attend has been written down and color-coded. “I could have sworn—”
A hand reaches out, forcing me to let go of my planner, my life. Glancing up, I’m met with Julian’s smirk.
“Put the calendar away. You didn’t forget anything.”
I blink, swallowing hard at the intensity in his stare. “I didn’t?”
His lips turn into a playful smile as he shakes his head, slow and flirtatious. “No.”
“Then—”
“I stopped by to see if you wanted to do something.”
“Chloe and I were planning on dropping by Nora’s yoga studio—”
“But I was just telling Evie how exhausted I am from a crazy weekend,” Chloe interrupts, faking a yawn before winking conspiratorially. Squeezing my arm, she passes me a sly grin, then leans toward me, her voice a low whisper. “Don’t think. Enjoy the ride…on his rocket.”
I snort out a laugh, then instantly cover my mouth.
“Bye, you crazy kids!” Chloe calls out, waving as she heads off.
Once we’re alone, Julian returns his attention to me. “So it’s settled. We’ll do something.”
“What about the itinerary?”
“The itinerary?”
“Yes. The itinerary.” Passing him a coy smile, I bat my lashes. “That was part of our deal. You promised we’d only have to see each other during pre-approved times.”
In an instant, his playfulness disappears, his expression turning impassioned and carnal as he closes the distance between us. When his hand palms my back, forcing me against him, I gasp. My legs weaken as every synapse in my body fires at the same time.
It’s official. Julian Gage is the most potent drug known to man. He should be regulated and come with a warning to all females…and perhaps a few men.
Side effects include wet panties, labored breathing, and irregular heartbeat. May cause multiple orgasms upon even the slightest touch. Consult a doctor prior to repeated use.