Marcie giggled. “We know that. It’s an I-love-you party.”
“I’ve never heard of such a party.”
Marcie tugged on Raven’s hand so she bent down. Marcie wrapped her arms around her neck. “We love you, Auntie Raven. So much. And we’re so happy you moved here.”
Tears dripped down her cheeks as she lifted her niece up and held on tight. “I’m glad too. Marcie.”
“Can we have cake now?” Marcie asked.
The adults laughed.
“I think that is a great idea.” Raven looked at the others. “We want cake. We want cake.”
The kids began chanting with her. “Cake. Cake.”
Lydia picked up the cake knife and began slicing. “I made the cake. It’s a black walnut cake with cream cheese icing. It is one of my specialties. Maybe I will bake it for the bakery.”
“What bakery?” Amanda asked.
“Lydia and I are going to open a bakery.” Raven answered. She looked at Lydia. “I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you. I haven’t felt well the last few days.”
“Not a problem.” Lydia gave her a sweet smile.
Her sister looked at her. “But you can’t cook or bake.”
Raven took a bite of the cake. Moist. Nutty. Delicious. “But Lydia sure can.”
Amanda took a big bite. “Oh, yes she can. I predict success if this is a sample of what you’ll be selling.”
“She’s agreed to teach me how to bake—maybe even how to cook, too.”
“Good luck with that.” Todd said. “I’ve had your cooking.”
More laughter.
When everyone was busy eating and talking, Raven slipped back into her kitchen for a moment alone to catch her breath. Thank you, Father. I forgot for a while that I’m not alone in that barn anymore. You are with me always and there are people who love me. Who want to help me.
The door opened behind her. Gracie rolled in. “A little overwhelming, huh?”
“Just a little but what a wonderful surprise.”
“Are you OK? It seems you’ve been missing in action and everyone’s been worried about you.”
“Trust me, no one’s been more worried than me. But I’m better now. Thanks to you.”
“To me? What did I do?”
“I’ve been in the middle of a meltdown the past few days. But just a little bit ago, I remembered what you said about studying the Bible. When I picked it up, all those index cards you gave me fell out, so I started reading the verses. They were exactly what I needed.”
Gracie smiled. “God is so amazing.”
“Yes, He is.”
“Care to share what was going on?”
“I’ll tell you all about it at our session next week. I promise.”
“OK. Then let’s get back out there before everyone ends up in the kitchen. I’m sure everyone wants to talk with the guest of honor to make sure you’re OK.”
And she was OK. Now. Thanks to God. She may have more bad moments but now she knew Who to turn to.
They walked out. Her gaze met Hunter’s. There was a question in his eyes. She hadn’t talked to him or seen him since she came back from the book tour. She smiled at him and he smiled back but the smile didn’t seem to reach his eyes.
Mallory set a box on the table. “We made up a box of your favorite things. Mommy says you can open it later. By yourself.”
Marcie tugged on Raven’s shirt. “I put my picture in it.”
“And you certainly are one of my favorite things. Thank you very much, Mallory and Marcie, for this big surprise. I love my party.”
Both girls beamed back at her.
Todd stood up. “And now it’s time to go, girls. Dad’s got to work in the morning while you get to play all day.”
“Oh, Daddy. Not yet.” Marcie whined.
“Yes, yet.” Amanda stood up. “Daddy’s your boss so move it, girls.” She hugged Raven. “Are you sure you’re OK?”
“Let’s just say I’m much better now. Thanks to you. You have no idea how much I needed this.”
“I’m glad you had fun. You deserve it.” One more hug and Amanda and her family left.
“Time for me to go, too,” Gracie said.
“Me, too. I will see you later, partner.” Lydia walked off the deck.
“Hunter, if you take the wheelchair off the deck for me, I can get myself down.” Gracie smiled at him.
“Oh, I can do better than that.” He picked up the chair and Gracie together. He managed to get both of them off the deck in one piece. “I’ll be back in a minute, Raven. Just seeing this beautiful lady to her car.”
“Wow. I’m impressed.” Gracie said with a laugh.
Raven was clearing off the deck when Hunter came back. He had a serious expression on his face.
“Thanks for coming, Hunter.”
“I wasn’t going to come.”
She sat down and stared at him. “Why did you, then?”
“I decided I owed it to you to talk to you. Because that’s what friends do. They talk to each other. They share their lives with each other. Do you agree with that?”
She looked down at the table, not wanting to meet his gaze. She had a feeling they were talking about more than his coming to the party. “Of course I agree, but sometimes it’s not that simple.”
He sat down opposite of her. “I want you to understand this is my fault, not yours.”
She didn’t like the direction this conversation was taking.
“I told you I wanted to be friends. And really I thought that was what I wanted. But the truth is I wanted more than that. I can see you’re not ready for that. It’s not your fault. You’re still in the healing phase.”
“But…I don’t understand. Have I done something to upset you? I know we haven’t talked in a few days, but I haven’t talked to anyone. It wasn’t just you.”
“I know. Amanda was worried about you. That’s why she put this little party together. She was hoping it would help.”
“And it did. I do feel better and I’m so glad you came.” She had the feeling they were breaking up. But how could that be when they weren’t even a couple? “I know I’ve—”
“I need to feel that my friends—any of my friends—trust me. That they don’t hide things from me.”
Her stomach twisted. What did he think she was hiding from him? “And you don’t think I trust you?”
He met her gaze. “I don’t.”
She wanted to look away, but she didn’t because she didn’t want him to go away. Hunter was important to her. “I do trust you, Hunter. And yes, I might not have shared everything with you, but it’s not because I don’t trust you. I do. Really.”
“If you say so.” He nodded and stood.
She put her hand over his. “Don’t go. Not yet. I…I’ve always been a bit secretive. Even my ex-boss Marnie complained about it. It’s something I need to change. And I’m working on it. Don’t give up on me, Hunter.”
He nodded. “I need to go.”
“Does that mean you don’t want to be my trainer any longer?”
30
Raven locked the door after Hunter left. She wasn’t sure what to make of their conversation. It was obvious he wasn’t happy with her. Had she lost her friend?
If she wanted a relationship with him—a real relationship—she owed it to him to be open and honest. She’d not outright lied, but she had omitted some personal things. Like her memories and her book. She sighed. Why did life have to be so complicated and confusing?
The favorites box Marcie and Mallory had given her sat on her kitchen table. She might as well take a look at what the girls put in it. She opened the flaps.
A picture of Marcie. A picture of Mallory. Then a picture of the whole family. She’d buy some frames so she could display them. A good reminder that she wasn’t alone. That she had people who loved her.
A candy bar. Amanda knew her well. The peanut butter and chocolate concoction had always been a favorite. She pulled out a few more snac
ks, and then looked in the box.
Her heart raced as she picked up the last thing in the box.
The world turned wavy.
“It’s been a while, Suzie Q. But don’t worry I haven’t forgotten you. I’ll be coming for you. Soon. Just like the first time.”
Then she was in her car. Driving. She stared at the text message on her phone.
MEET ME AT WV WELCOME CENTER. RIGHT NOW. IF YOU WANT MY STORY. IT HAS TO BE NOW OR NOT AT ALL. TRUST ME. YOU WANT THIS STORY.
Her fingers tapped on the steering wheel as she decided what to do. She rolled her eyes and sighed. A reporter didn’t always get to decide when a story came up.
OK. 10 MINUTES.
Then she was standing by her car at the welcome center.
Another car pulled in beside her. She couldn’t see the driver. A hoodie hid the face. A moment later the person leaned over and opened the passenger side of their car. “Raven?”
“That’s me.”
“Get in.”
She shuddered. It’s just the dark. She’d done scarier things in search of a story. She opened the door and sat down. The driver leaned toward her and lifted his hand. A needle. He had a needle. And…her mind went blank.
Just her imagination. Not real. Not real. She wasn’t in a car. She was in her house. Alone. Not alone—God was with her. She wasn’t with the monster, but she could hear his voice calling her Suzie Q. Her heart thumped. Another panic attack. Not real. She curled up into a ball.
She was back in the barn. As she clutched the silly little chocolate pastry the memories flooded back. Him taunting her. “If I say your name is Suzie Q then it is.”
And no matter what memory, she saw the face of Charles Whitman. “It’s not him. That’s my mind playing tricks. It can’t be him.” Raven spoke it out loud.
The monster said, “It’s been fun, Suzie Q.”
She broke down sobbing and shaking as she remembered the horrible things the monster had done and said. Over and over, he’d told her how stupid she was. How worthless.
Another memory surfaced.
“Why are you here?”
“Because I’m a self-centered, celebrity-seeking narcissist.”
“Much better, Suzie Q.”
She glared. “Not my name.”
Cattle prod.
“Your name is whatever I say it is, Suzie Q.”
Cattle prod.
“Who am I?”
“A monster.”
Cattle prod.
“I’m a patriot. I love America and you’re a self-centered, celebrity-seeking reporter trying to ruin my country with your lies. Now who am I?”
“A patriot who loves America.”
“Much better. Who are you?”
“A self-centered, celebrity-seeking reporter.”
“I’m glad we understand each other.”
Cattle prod. And again and again.
It wasn’t one memory. They’d gone through the routine many times. But one thing remained constant. She was a bad reporter who told lies and he was a patriot. Almost as if he was trying to convince himself. Why was he fixated on her as a reporter? How did he even know she was a reporter? These were all questions that needed answered, but not tonight.
The world straightened, and Raven opened her eyes. She was totally exhausted but she couldn’t sleep in her house alone. Shaken, by the nightmare, Raven grabbed her keys.
Amanda wouldn’t mind if she showed up at her house. In fact she’d probably be thrilled.
Raven walked outside.
Lydia was sitting on her own porch in a rocking chair. “Are you going somewhere, Raven?”
“I was, ah…going to Amanda’s but, Lydia, would you mind if I sleep on your couch tonight?”
“Is everything all right?”
“Sometimes I get afraid of the dark. Of the night. This is one of those times. I was going to drive to Amanda’s, but—”
“No need to drive there. Of course. Of course. Come on over. I would love to have a guest.”
31
Bacon. And sausage. And biscuits. The aroma woke Raven up. She couldn’t believe she’d actually slept through the night with no nightmares. It was almost as if now that her conscious mind had remembered the details of her kidnapping, it could no longer haunt her dreams.
She looked around the room. It was old-fashioned and so cute. She was covered with a gorgeous looking quilt. Had Lydia made it? She looked closer at the stitching. How could anyone do that by hand without a machine?
Amazing—not just the quilt but her.
She felt…she searched for a word…free. That’s how she felt. Free—no longer trapped in that barn with the monster. She wouldn’t let him steal her future the way he’d stolen those months from her. Raven walked into the kitchen. “Lydia, what are you doing?”
“I’m chust making us some breakfast.”
“You didn’t need to do that. I shouldn’t have barged in last night.”
“It was not barging, my friend. You needed a place to stay, and I was more than happy to provide it.” She smiled at Raven. “I must say you look much better. Your business is your business. I’m chust glad I could help. And if you ever need to stay here again to feel safe, there is a key hidden in the flower box on the porch. Chust get the key and come in. Anytime.”
“You are too kind to me, Lydia.”
“Nonsense. We are partners, yes?”
“Yes.”
They made plans to move forward with the bakery while they ate. Raven called and got an appointment for them to see the building in a few hours.
After the two ate a hearty breakfast—very hearty—Raven walked back to her house. She picked up the crumpled chocolate pastry, waiting for the now familiar anxiety to begin. It didn’t. Instead she felt angry. How could someone have treated another human being the way she’d been treated? And he might be hurting someone else right now. She couldn’t let that happen anymore. But how would she stop him when she couldn’t even remember his face? It wasn’t like her to get in a car with a stranger. She’d chosen to get in the car.
It was her own fault she’d been kidnapped.
Her heart thumped. Your peace, God. I need your peace. She took deep breaths. The world didn’t turn wavy. Thank you.
There was only one reason she’d get in a car at night with a stranger. For a story. And he’d been fixated on the fact that she was a reporter. He’d told her she was trying to ruin the country with her lies while he was the good patriot. He’d known she was a reporter. And apparently, she’d written something he didn’t like—probably a bit of an understatement considering he’d kidnapped her and tried to kill her.
“But you didn’t kill me. Monster.” She thought of the green glowing stick in her nightmare. “And I’m the one coming for you.”
She picked up her phone. She scrolled through the names and hit one.
“Howdy, Raven. What’s up?”
“Hi, Marnie. I was just thinking about you, so I decided to call. How are you?”
“I’m good. How about you?”
“It depends on what day you ask me that question. But I’m good today. I was wondering. I know we talked about this before and you said that I told you I might have a big story right before I disappeared.”
“That’s right.”
“I don’t suppose you remember what the story was about. Or who?”
“I don’t remember because you didn’t tell me. You like your secrets way too much, Raven. Even for a reporter.”
Secrets. She thought of the books hidden in her bedroom. The fact that she hadn’t told anyone that she was remembering things, except for Gracie. But even Gracie didn’t know the extent of her memories. “I guess that’s very true. I’m starting to think that’s not the best way to be. Did you ever happen to come across my laptop at work?”
“No. Why all these questions?”
She started to say it wasn’t important. Another secret? “I…uh…I’m not sure but I’m beginning to wonder if
my kidnapping was as random as I thought.”
“You think it could have something to do with your work?”
“I’m not sure, but it could be a possibility. What do you think?”
“Anything’s possible, I suppose. But I don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know. I mean you just finished up with that series about the primaries. It’s not like you wrote anything bad about the candidates. As far as I knew, you weren’t really working on anything else that might make someone that mad.”
“So you don’t think it’s probable.”
“Probably not.”
It was good to hear that Marnie thought it was random. Which was better? Random, or her as the target? Raven decided the idea that she was the target was definitely more terrifying.
Time to go look at a bakery.
~*~
“It’s perfect, yes?” Lydia asked with a huge smile on her face. “We can turn this into a bakery without much problem at all.”
“I agree but—”
“Then I will let the owner know we would like to rent it. He said we would have to pay for our own renovations but that in return he would give us a few free months with no rent.”
“That’s nice of him. Lydia, I love this idea but it’s moving a little too fast for me.”
“I see. So you don’t want to open the bakery.”
“I do want to, but I don’t know anything about fixing this place up or anything like that.”
“Not a problem. I know people who can help with that. We Amish are very handy people, yes?”
“That’s the thing, Lydia. You’ll be baking. You know people to fix it up. Why do you need me?”
“Because you are my partner.”
“But what am I supposed to do?”
“Be my partner.”
32
Raven sat outside on her deck staring at her laptop. What was she was working on at the time of her disappearance? It wasn’t just the memories from her disappearance that were messed up. She couldn’t seem to remember the articles she’d written about the upcoming election either. The monster may have been triggered by any of her stories. She’d certainly upset a few people with past columns.
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