Snow on the Roof

by Sean Ashcroft

  20

  Sunny looked up as he heard a knock on the door, his stomach still tied up in knots after getting caught.

  He hadn’t wanted to cause Grant any problems. He was happy to stay quietly in the background while they both figured out what they wanted.

  Now, he’d gotten them busted, and then ran away to leave Grant to face Julia alone.

  Guilt didn’t quite cover the magnitude of how bad he felt about it, but his first instinct had been to get out of the way. No one could yell at you if you weren’t around to hear it.

  “Grant?” he asked, unwilling to face anyone else right now.

  He owed Grant an apology. It would have been better to get that over and done with than wait.

  “Yeah.” Grant opened the door a little way, sticking his head through. “Can I come in?”

  Sunny nodded, hugging the pillow he’d grabbed when he sat down on the bed.

  “You didn’t have to run away,” Grant said kindly. He didn’t seem mad, which was nice. Sunny wasn’t sure he could have handled that.

  The door clicked closed behind him as he approached. Sunny watched him walk over, sit down on the bed, and then extend a hand to rest on Sunny’s knee.

  It was one of the most comforting gestures he’d ever been on the receiving end of. Sunny felt himself let go of a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.

  “I wasn’t ready to face your wife,” Sunny confessed.

  “Ex-wife,” Grant corrected. “Who likes you, by the way.”

  “She does?” Sunny raised an eyebrow.

  He’d expected her to be suspicious of a newcomer who was, from her point of view, squirming his way into her family. Getting close to her ex-husband and her daughter.

  Although, now that he thought about it, that assessment wasn’t fair. Julia seemed like an entirely reasonable person, and she’d already found someone else after Grant. He had no reason to think she wouldn’t give him a chance.

  He’d just been afraid. Afraid of losing Grant because his family didn’t like him, or didn’t want him around.

  “She does. She says you’re sweet. And that you seem like a good person. And that I deserve to be happy.”

  “I make you happy?” Sunny asked.

  He wasn’t entirely sure how Grant felt about him yet. There’d been hints, signs, and even some heartwarming conversations before now, but Sunny didn’t know where they stood with each other, right here and now.

  “Oh yeah.” Grant smiled warmly at him. “You have no idea. You didn’t know me before you met me.”

  Sunny turned that thought over in his head. He wasn’t entirely sure what that meant, either, but it definitely sounded like a good thing.

  As long as Grant was happy.

  “You make me happy, too,” Sunny said, reaching out to cover Grant’s hand on his knee with his own. “I’m sorry I ran off. I didn’t know what to expect.”

  “No apology necessary,” Grant responded, flopping down on the bed so his head was by Sunny’s hip.

  Sunny couldn’t resist reaching out to stroke his hair, smiling to himself as Grant closed his eyes and leaned into his touch. If he’d been a cat, he would have purred.

  “I wish I knew a better way of handling this,” Grant said after a moment. “You and the rest of my family, I mean.”

  Sunny swallowed. “I understand,” he said, heart sinking.

  Whatever the two of them wanted, Grant’s family—his daughter—had to come first. Sunny knew that.

  He wasn’t even mad about it. Hope should have come first. That was only right.

  “Hope took to you pretty quickly,” Grant said, which Sunny took to mean that there was some chance it’d work out.

  He wasn’t so sure. If Hope kicked back at all, or Grant got nervous about telling her...

  “We have a lot in common.” Sunny smiled to himself. “She’s a good kid. Smart, like her dad.”

  Grant snorted. “You mean like her mom. Her dad’s kind of an idiot.”

  “Kinda,” Sunny said, still stroking Grant’s hair. “But not where it counts.”

  “Thanks.” Grant pushed his head against Sunny’s hand, silently pleading for more contact.

  Sunny wanted to kiss him again.

  Not just again, but all the time. He could feel his heart tugging toward Grant every time he was within arm’s reach.

  It was a nice feeling, even if it was terrifying to be this attached to someone. Especially when he was still unsure about how they fitted together, exactly.

  Or rather, unsure about how all this was going to play out. There still seemed to be a lot of things between them and a happily ever after.

  If that was even what Grant wanted.

  Hell, if that was even what Sunny wanted. He wasn’t sure of anything yet.

  Well… that wasn’t entirely true.

  He was sure that he was happier when Grant was around than when he wasn’t. Which was a clue to how he really felt.

  Sunny just wasn’t ready to do the kind of introspection he clearly needed to. Not yet. He’d get there.

  “Hey, Sunny?” Grant opened his eyes to look up at him, the pretty pale blue as striking as ever.

  It was a shame Grant didn’t know how pretty his eyes were. Sunny would have to get into the habit of telling him more often.

  “Yeah?” Sunny smiled down at him. He looked so peaceful, so content that it made Sunny’s heart tight to see. Grant deserved this. He deserved some happiness in life, and Sunny was so grateful that he got to give him that.

  “I was coming up here to say… I-”

  A knock on the door cut Grant off mid-sentence.

  “Daddy?” Hope called from the other side. “Dinner’s ready.”

  “Okay sweetheart. I’ll be there in a second,” Grant called back.

  Whatever he’d been about to say, the moment was lost.

  Sunny had a pretty good idea what it had been, though.

  Part of him was glad that Grant hadn’t said it. He wasn’t sure what his response would have been. He wasn’t sure he was ready to hear it.

  All the same, the thought made him feel warm inside. He liked the idea of hearing that Grant loved him. He just wasn’t sure he could handle actually having to respond to it just now.

  “I guess we’ve been summoned,” Grant said, sitting up again. “You coming?”

  “Am I invited?” Sunny asked. He assumed so, but he wanted to be sure.

  “Of course. There’s plenty. Maybe there won’t be so many leftovers this year.”

  Sunny smiled at that. Grant really did want him to share Christmas with his family.

  That was a big deal. He wasn’t sure that Grant understood what an honor it felt like, but he’d take it, anyway.

  Sunny pecked Grant on the lips, then grinned broadly at him. “I’ll race you,” he said, tossing the pillow back to where it belonged and scrambling off the bed.

  He wasn’t sure yet how this was going to end, but he planned on savoring it right now.

  21

  By the time he was sitting down at the dinner table, Grant was ready to call today his best Christmas ever. He was surrounded by people he loved on all sides, he’d pulled off the impossible with the help of one of the most wonderful people he’d ever known, and everyone seemed happy.

  All he had to do to make it perfect was pluck up the courage to actually tell Sunny how he felt. He’d gotten close before he’d been interrupted. He could do it again.

  “Am I carving?” Joon asked, looking between Grant and Julia.

  Grant shrugged. “Go for it, I’m happy sitting down.”

  He was in the habit of letting Joon do things like this, partially because he was objectively better at it, and partially because he’d always liked watching Joon roll up his sleeves.

  Grant was willing to admit that he’d been a very lonely man up until recently, and he’d taken whatever he could get.

  This year, he couldn’t stop himself from sneaking glances at Sunny. Everything b
etween them was so new and fragile, and right now Grant wasn’t sure of anything, but…

  He knew what he wanted.

  He didn’t know, exactly, how to go about making sure he got to keep it, but he thought he and Sunny were at least working from the same book, if they weren’t on the same page.

  And he could wait. He’d waited his entire life for someone like Sunny.

  “Okay, this is killing me,” Julia said. “I have to tell him.”

  Grant looked over at her. “Tell me what?”

  “We’ve got good news and great news,” Joon responded, a tiny, painfully fond smile turning up the corner of his lip.

  He was still very pretty.

  Grant was just in love with Sunny, so he didn’t care so much anymore.

  “Wow.” Grant looked between the two of them. “So we’re waiting to tell me because…?”

  “We wanted you to be sitting down,” Julia said. “First of all, we’re all moving to New York.”

  Grant’s head spun, blood rushing in his ears.

  It was probably a good thing that he was sitting down.

  How many times had he wished this would happen? How many times had he told Julia about all the great schools and cute apartments, all the opportunities Hope could have, all the places he wanted to have time to take her to see?

  He looked over at Hope, who was already grinning at him, and his heart melted.

  He was getting his family back.

  Tears sprung up in his eyes, forcing him to dab at them with the back of his wrist. He sniffed, clearing his throat in an attempt to force himself back under control.

  He was okay with bursting into tears at the dinner table, but he wanted to hear the other news first.

  “Is that the good, or the great? Because I’m not sure how you’re gonna top that.”

  Julia smiled kindly at him, reaching across the table to take his hand. “There’s better.”

  She glanced over at Joon, her smile growing, taking up all of her face. By the time she looked back at Grant, she was glowing.

  Oh.

  Oh.

  Grant bit down on his lip, already anticipating the next news.

  “And we’re having a baby,” she said, just as Grant was processing that thought himself.

  This time, Grant couldn’t stop himself bursting into tears. He let go of Julia’s hand to stand, rushing around the table to hug her tight.

  She’d always wanted another baby. She’d never pushed, never asked Grant for it, but she’d wanted it. Grant had thought that maybe it was too late by now, but apparently not.

  “I’m so happy for you,” he murmured, holding her close and rocking her back and forth. “When?”

  “We’re expecting a summer baby,” she said. When Grant backed off, there were tears in her eyes, too.

  Grant couldn’t stop staring at her. His chest was tight with emotion, every possible feeling swirling inside him. Joy, pride, excitement.

  Not just for Julia, but for himself, as well.

  Firstly, he’d get to have another baby in his life. It’d been so long since he held one that he’d almost forgotten what it was like. He could hardly wait.

  Secondly, if Julia was going to have her hands full with a new kid—and she was, Grant still remembered what having a baby around was like—then he could step in to take care of Hope, and spend more time with her.

  Especially if they were moving closer.

  This was every wish he could possibly have had coming true at once.

  “Well, I’m excited to be…” he paused, not sure what his relationship to the new baby would be. “A… step… dad?” he tried, not sure that was entirely right.

  “I don’t think that’s how that works,” Joon said.

  “Cool uncle?”

  Julia snorted, but it wasn’t cruel. Not really.

  She looked so happy. She was still his best friend, and Grant’s heart wasn’t going to stop soaring for her anytime soon.

  “We were thinking godfather, actually,” Joon said. “None of us are overly religious, but it seems like a good title. You can definitely call yourself Uncle Grant, though.”

  That worked for Grant. He understood the gesture for what it was—assurance that he’d be part of this baby’s life—and he couldn’t have been more honored.

  He turned, making sure Joon had put the knife down, and pulled him into a hug, too. “You don’t get to escape this,” Grant said. “I’m happy for you, too.”

  “Thanks, man,” Joon responded softly, hugging back.

  He gave great hugs. He’d be an amazing father.

  He already was an amazing father. He was just in for a shock over how much more work babies were in the beginning. He’d survived Hope’s pre-teen years, though, so he’d be okay.

  This was the luckiest baby on Earth, as far as Grant was concerned. It couldn’t have asked for better parents, or a better big sister.

  And its godfather-slash-uncle Grant would love it and do his best for it, too. As families went, that seemed like a good one to be born into.

  He let go of Joon and headed back around the table, ruffling Hope’s hair as he went past. “How about you? What do you think?”

  Hope was a good kid, but kids got stressed about new babies. Grant knew that.

  “Did you know babies can breathe underwater?” Hope asked immediately. It was obviously a fact she’d been saving for this occasion. She probably had a ton more.

  That seemed like Hope. She’d always been a curious kid, the kind who investigated everything that happened. She’d been able to tell Grant more about New York before he moved than any guide book or single website could have. She’d even made him a fact sheet, which he still had stuck to the fridge.

  Aside from being his kid’s work, which he was proud of, it had actually come in handy.

  He hated to put the new baby in second place, but he already had the best kid in the world. He didn’t want Hope to feel as though she was being sidelined in favor of someone new.

  Over the baby or over Sunny, but he was kind of getting ahead of himself as far as Sunny went. The point still held, though. He needed Hope to know that she was the first, most important person in his life, and she’d always have him.

  “I didn’t,” Grant said. “But let’s not test out the theory on the new one, okay?”

  Hope rolled her eyes, as though Grant was being a spoilsport. He knew she’d never do anything to hurt anyone, and that she probably wouldn’t have considered testing it anyway.

  “I hope it’s a sister,” Hope said. “Boys are gross.”

  Sunny chuckled at that.

  Which was a relief, since he’d been silent for a while, and was probably starting to feel left out. Grant didn’t want that. He’d invited Sunny down here because he was hoping to make him part of the family, too. He knew what he wanted, though Sunny might have read it as a combination of Christmas cheer and wanting to get into his pants again.

  Grant definitely wanted to get into Sunny’s pants again, but more importantly, he wanted him to stay a part of his life.

  Become a bigger part, even.

  Julia was moving on. She’d gotten remarried, and now she was having a baby. Hope seemed to be coping just fine with all of that.

  So it was really just Grant’s own fear getting between him and asking for what he really wanted.

  “Boys are definitely gross,” Sunny said, glancing up at Grant. “Some of them make up for it, though.”

  Hope—who’d insisted on sitting beside Sunny—wrinkled her nose. “You’re okay,” she said.

  “Hey,” Grant objected. “What about me? And Joon?”

  Hope looked at him like he was an idiot, which was an expression she was perfecting. Her teenage years were coming up fast.

  “You don’t count,” she said. “You’re my dads.”

  Grant laughed at that. Of course they didn’t count.

  Hope liked Sunny, though. That felt like a good sign.

  He was surrounded
by people he loved, and they all liked each other, too. What more could he ask for?

  Well, aside from knowing exactly what he and Sunny were to each other right now. Everything was happening so fast, and they’d barely had time to talk today.

  It’d have to wait until later now, but Grant was surer than ever that he was ready for this. Ready to move on with his life, welcome someone else in it, do his best to make them want to stay.

  Sunny was one of the best things that had ever happened to him. He felt the same amount of joy when he thought of being near Sunny as he did over the new baby.

  That was huge. He was as excited to have Sunny in his life as he was to have another kid, which he’d also secretly wanted and been afraid he could never have.

  This was the perfect arrangement, and now he wanted someone to share it with.

  Hopefully, Sunny would feel the same way.

  22

  The way snow glittered as the sun set over it had always been one of Sunny’s favorite things about winter. He stood at the window watching it, turning over all of the day’s events in his mind.

  Grant’s family was moving to New York. His ex was having a new baby, and he’d get to be a part of that baby’s life, as well as spend more time with Hope.

  He was happy for Grant about all of that, but he wasn’t sure where that left them. With his family in town, Grant wouldn’t need him anymore, as his PA or as… whatever it was they had going on.

  With a new baby and increased responsibilities for his own daughter, he wouldn’t have time for him, either.

  Sunny was happy for Grant, but he was devastated for himself. For a shining, beautiful moment, he’d thought that maybe things would work out between them.

  Then he’d been reminded that he was the newcomer to Grant’s life, and everyone else would come first. Which was fair, and as it should have been, but…

  Grant was already stretched thin. He didn’t need any more demands on his time. Especially not from someone who was supposed to be easing his burden.

  It was okay. The one evening they’d had together had been perfect, and Sunny would lock away the memory in his heart and keep it as a happy one, but…

  He’d wanted more. That was probably greedy, but it didn’t stop him from wanting it.