Well, I suppose I was wrong.
He decided he would continue his search for the cat in another part of the garden. Still, he wondered if his task was still worth accomplishing. Had the mouse not already been caught after all?
Oblivious to their witness, Richard persisted in his seduction. His hands began to roam over Elizabeth's back, sending, to her own amazement, little shivers of delight. She chastised herself for such emotions. Undoubtedly, Richard still exerted some reaction over her female sensibilities. Her heart pounding, she insisted on calling his name in a vain endeavour to resist him. He would not listen to her pleading. He dove into her lips again, and again and kissed her with vehement thirst, inhaling her scent, filling his lungs with her beloved perfume.
"Oh, rose water. Your perfume has followed me, haunted me all these years." He looked adoringly at the swell of her breasts.
"Richard…"
"Have you not missed me?" His dancing eyes played a tune with hers.
"Have I not? Richard, I suffered the indescribable! There are no words for what I suffered!"
"I can imagine, my love. The same happened to me. You know not of the horrible things I have seen. It was hell, and you were my passport to Heaven. Still, there was a time when I thought I had lost you for ever."
"Richard… You must know I…"
He pressed a finger against her lips. "I know. Pray, do not say anything. Take a little time. Consider, do not commit yourself. Allow me these few minutes. Then you can talk."
She nodded, her mind in deep mortification; she could not bear to give him pain and not another syllable followed.
"Come, let us take a turn in the garden."
After proceeding a few steps, he turned around. On seeing they were alone, Richard stopped and sighed heavily.
"Tell me. How have you fared?"
"I am well."
"So I see. How do I look?"
"Oh, you are very handsome."
"I knew you would say as much. Dear, dear girl."
"I am no longer a girl, Richard."
"Oh yes. No matter what, you will always be my girl."
She was silent again, her mind was most busy, with all the velocity of thought to catch and comprehend the exact meaning of such a meeting. "But you must tell me," he continued, "What have you done with your days?"
"I have stayed at home, and I have been helping Jane. She is a mother of four now."
"I have met Jane. After all these years, I finally met your Jane. A mother of four, huh? Well, she certainly looks a maiden to me. You were right. She is a most beautiful lady."
"Oh, that she is. And heavenly good, too."
"You have not married."
"No."
"Why not?"
She shrugged.
"I suppose it was not for want of proposals."
She did not answer that. Instead she stated the obvious, "Neither have you. I am sure you have also had a great deal of 'proposals.'"
"How could I? I love you."
That said, Fitzwilliam secured her arm tightly under his, and took her hand to his chest. Then he proceeded to walk a bit further away from the house.
"This moment I shall cherish all my life," he said in an accent of deep pain. Deep inside, he knew he had little hope to succeed. But, cost what it would, he could not help trying.
"I still remember our turns in your garden at Longbourn," he said with a smile on his lips. He reached for her mouth and tried to kiss her anew.
She was reticent to allow him such liberty. Still, she felt she could not deny him a glimpse to his past with her. "Richard, I…"
"Hush… Pray, allow me." Again he kissed her. Elizabeth did not protest. Instead, tears began to well her eyes and roll down her cheeks.
"Elizabeth! How much I fear your word. No, I have no hope, have I? Stay, yes, why should I hesitate? I have gone too far already, have I not? You must know I accept whatever you say. Extraordinary as it may seem, I accept anything, anything that you can offer me. Only, do not deprive me of your friendship."
"I… I do not know what to say." She sobbed, swallowing her tears. "This is so unexpected. For heaven's sake, Richard! I thought you were dead!"
He wiped a stray tear from her chin and, taking her hands to his lips, he kissed them adoringly. "Well, I guess I have just proved you I am not. You are too generous to trifle with me, Elizabeth. If your feelings have changed, you must tell me so at once. My feelings and wishes, you see, are unchanged. But a word from you will silence me on this subject for ever."
"Richard… I… I cannot. You must give me time. At this moment, I am too confused."
"My dearest Elizabeth," said he, "for dearest you will always be, whatever the result of this conversation. Tell me at once. Say 'No' if it is to be said. But you must release me from this suffering."
She could really say nothing.
"I cannot, Richard. You are asking too much of me."
"You have said enough, ma'am. At present I ask no more."
Her hesitation was all he needed to understand she was no longer his. Even so, he endeavoured not to show her his sadness. He boldly smiled, when in truth he felt like dying. If she had chosen not to refuse him just yet, he would accept it, though he knew the final outcome. She was merely too kind to inflict the pain so straightforwardly. When, he offered her his arm again, Elizabeth dipped her hand in its crook and, albeit a little confused, chose to follow the game. Her heart was galloping and a terrible sense of guilt ran in her inner self. They turned around and went into the house again. Just as they were about to enter the dining room, Fitzwilliam Darcy descended hastily down the stairs.
Twenty-One
—
Fitzwilliam-Fitzwilliam
The sight of his cousin with Elizabeth clinging from the crook of his arm caused no impression to Fitzwilliam Darcy other than the pleasure of beholding what he imagined would soon be a family portrait. His cousin was nothing less than a brother to him, the person to whom he would surely trust his family in case anything happened to him. A regular visitor of Pemberley, and possibly a bachelor for life, Richard would surely more than once take Elizabeth for walks in the morning when she was wedded to Darcy. The mistress of Pemberley would be delightful company for both of them. And the best of wives. All this flashed his mind while he watched them side by side going into his house.
"Fitzwilliam! I see you have decided to join us." Mr Darcy said to his cousin.
"I could not miss the opportunity to be in Miss Bennet's company once I learned she was a guest this evening."
"Nor could I," he replied, looking at her fondly.
"Believe me, Darcy. I have not met livelier or wittier conversation in the whole world."
Elizabeth was crimsoned as crimson could be. Conversation indeed! She dared not raise her eyes to confront Mr Darcy. Were all her plans ruined now? Was she definitely engaged to be married to Fitzwilliam instead of Darcy?
Richard noticed her embarrassment. "'Tis not my intention to merely flatter you, Miss Bennet. I am saying the absolute truth. I have travelled around the world and been in the presence of all sorts of people. Yet, my memory would drift to the joyous moments that I had shared your company and enjoyed your conversation here at Rosings. Do you remember them, as well, Miss Bennet?" He sent an askance look towards Darcy to assess his reaction.
Darcy smiled broadly. He did not feel threatened. Not any longer. Elizabeth was his, notwithstanding his cousin's flirtation. And tonight he was planning to make their attachment a bit more secure.
They joined the Bingleys, who were already seated facing each other. Darcy proceeded to make the introductions.
"Allow me to introduce you to Mrs Jane Bingley. Mrs Bingley, this is my cousin Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam, second son of the Earl of Matlock."
"I have the pleasure to have made her acquaintance a few hours ago, Darcy. But thanks for the introduction of my name!"
"You already know Bingley."
"Indeed." Both men nodded. Jane p
aid a small courtesy and lowered her eyes. Quite unexpectedly, she felt her face crimson. Goodness, the man was exceedingly handsome! When she raised her eyes again, he was still looking at her, a beautiful smile on his lips. To her surprise, she found herself staring at those lips, imagining what it would be like to taste them.
Astonished by her own wantonness, Jane wheeled her gaze towards her husband, and found him in complete inattention to what was going on around him. She was relieved he had not witnessed her predicament, for she was sure the colour of her face spoke what her heart would not disclose in words.
Darcy occupied his seat at the head while Elizabeth sat next to Jane, Richard facing them, next to Bingley. This seating accommodation afforded the Colonel a much greater advantage over Darcy, since both beauties sat directly opposite him, hence he was at liberty to exchange both flirtatious glances and conversation.
For, Jane's attraction to his person had not passed unnoticed by the Colonel. Truth be told, upon first seeing her early that day, he had found the lady's beauty absolutely outstanding. After perceiving the man she was tied to, he could only feel sorry for her, for Charles Bingley was the most stupid person of his acquaintance.
Dinner was served and when desserts followed, Colonel Fitzwilliam, endeavouring to keep cheerful and light-hearted, commenced to exchange looks with Elizabeth. He would not release her without a fight. Elizabeth's complexion crimsoned profusely as she noticed Richard taking every opportunity to flirt with her.
"You both look ravishing, ladies," he said to the ladies in a tone that denoted both playfulness and yearning. "It is a good thing there is so much beauty for my eyes to delight in after the dreadful days in the peninsula. I say, our new cousins excel in beauty to all the members of our family, Darcy! We are indeed fortunate."
Jane blushed intensely and darted a quick look towards her husband, who seemed not to mind the man's words in the least.
"Thank you, Colonel," answered Elizabeth, much used to his forwardness.
"You must excuse my expression, Bingley. I mean no affront. I must confess you the luckiest of men to be able to behold Mrs Bingley every hour of your days."
"Indeed, sir. No harm is counted on you. You are saying nothing but the truth."
Then, talking to Elizabeth: "Am I wrong to assume, dear cousin, that you are not engaged to be married yet?" he said teasingly.
Darcy smirked. The impertinence of his cousin he many a time had envied. Yet, although he had not reached an understanding with Elizabeth, nothing could diminish his joy at having her at his table. His dead wife notwithstanding, he could now abandon his pretence of grieving widower and assume his true self: that of a happy bachelor. He was in humour for a little flirtation with Elizabeth and could not care about less his cousin's behaviour. Hence, he teased him.
"Fitzwilliam, I must assume your situation has improved. Have you turned suddenly into a good catch for a young lady?" asked Darcy in a non-affronted manner.
"Indeed, I am very well worth catching, I can tell you. I am retired now as a war hero with a consistent sum added to my regular wages, and soon shall be the owner of a pretty little estate in Somersetshire. Besides, a young lady had recently told me that I am not an old man yet." He tilted his head to show his handsome features to the ladies while he smirked. "Many a lady had made a pass to me in France and Spain."
"So, if I were you, sister, I would not give up on him for a younger gentleman in spite of all the tumbling down the hills," said Jane, laughing.
"Oh, I cannot agree with you more," said Fitzwilliam laughing heartily. "Pray, Miss Bennet. Since you are the only marriageable young lady of the party, I must inquire of you: Do you think I am worth to set your cap at?"
Elizabeth inhaled deeply. Her lively disposition and playfulness was all she needed to face Richard's teasing. Deep inside, she knew he must be doing this to fight his feelings of uneasiness. She pulled herself together and answered cheerfully, "That I could not tell, sir. It all depends on your accomplishments."
"What sort of accomplishments do you have in mind for your suitors?"
"Not half a dozen would satisfy me as accomplished, sir," she sent a meaningful look towards Darcy.
"Half a dozen?" he said in mockery wiping his lips with a napkin. "This is indeed interesting."
Mr Darcy immediately recognised his own words and replied in kind. "Miss Bennet is very severe with our sex," said he.
"Perchance I am included in that reduced number. Pray, describe your accomplished gentleman." This was definitely said in jest. Elizabeth smiled and shook her head in sincere amusement. This man was exceedingly good. Only he could hide his emotions under this cheerful disguise. She grew exceedingly diverted with the exchange.
"Very well. Mark my words Colonel: My ideal gentleman is very much like this. He must be tall, and handsome. He sings, he draws, he dances, speaks French and German, and I know not what!"
Colonel Fitzwilliam could not contain himself. He loved her playful disposition. He could play this game for hours. "I can confidently say that you are describing me, ma'am. I am tall, and handsome." At this the two ladies well nigh laughed. "I dearly love to dance and were this not a house of mourning I could very well entertain you with an aria."
"Can you speak French and German, sir?" asked Jane, almost choking with laughter.
"Oui, madame," he said with a purr in his voice,"ja, bitte. And a word or two in Spanish. I picked up some while in Madrid. Ah! I almost forgot. I can speak English, too," he added with a smirk. Everybody laughed at his jest.
The turn of the conversation now afforded Elizabeth an excellent opportunity to hint to the Colonel of the inclination of her affections. "But I am not at all finished," interrupted Elizabeth, "No man can be esteemed accomplished, who does not also possess an estate in the country and a town house in London."
"I guess that enters me in the race," said Darcy merrily.
"But that is not all, dear sir," interjected Jane. She, then, adopted much of Miss Bingley's posture and said, imitating her voice: "There is a certain something in his air, in the manner of walking, in the tone of his voice, his address and expressions."
"And to this he must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of his mind by extensive reading," finished Elizabeth, and both ladies giggled merrily.
Darcy could not contain his mirth. "A good memory is unpardonable, Miss Bennet," he laughed.
"I think I can confidently be included in your half-dozen accomplished gentlemen, can I not?" pleaded the Colonel.
"I believe the description to be more like Mr Darcy, Colonel," said Jane with a smile and only for him to hear. And then she boldly added in a soft voice. "But fear not, sir. I am sure many a lady will find you highly 'accomplished.'"
"I thank you, mad'am," he said meaning it, and flashed her a disarming smile. Then he said aloud for everyone to hear. "I doubt a book can teach any gentleman to be really 'accomplished,'" he said while finishing his dish.
"Indeed, cousin. Still, I cannot picture you picking a book in the library," said Darcy, exceedingly diverted.
"Anyway. One can always take up reading," he replied, really amused. "As for a town house… I can shoot my elder brother, for that matter, so as to inherit my father's!"
"That is settled then," said Darcy. "Let us start Fitzwilliam's education this very evening. I would recommend to you a book for the rest of the evening, cousin. You can retire to your bedroom and begin your education. In the meantime I shall keep the ladies company." He rose then, and much in a display of possessiveness, walked up to Elizabeth's place and extended his hand to invite her to follow him to the drawing room. Elizabeth accepted his invitation and while a footman most attentively withdrew her chair, she rose and clung to her favourite suitor's arm.
"My, my, we shall have quite a contest here," said Bingley shaking his head.
On reaching the drawing room, Elizabeth realised a turn of the conversation was uppermost. For a moment the party had forgotten that this
was a house of mourning. The atmosphere was that of a family and Elizabeth, forgetting Richard's indecorous advances, grew soon tremendously happy to have him back from death, though she dreaded his company lest he would attempt kissing her again. She addressed the Colonel thus,
"Pray enlighten me, Colonel. What is this world you have travelled and not found lively conversation?"
The Colonel grinned, instantly pleased by her request. For though his heart was wounded, he was relieved by such unlooked-for mildness; it was, just at the moment, in his power to say anything to the purpose of retaining Elizabeth's regard.
Therefore, he remained most gladly answering all Mrs Bingley's and Elizabeth's questions and remarks about his trip. It was a good thing to be able to talk to Elizabeth in this open manner. How he wished he could take her to his bedchamber and tell her a complete tale of his adventures! Yet, he sensed that this was not to happen. There was something about her, something he had already noticed when Darcy was around, that told him that Elizabeth was no longer his Elizabeth. He made up his mind to take this opportunity to enjoy her company and apprise her of his time spent away without raising expectations that would not be fulfilled.
"I have already told you about my commission in India, have I not? Well, lately, before Waterloo I have been in Spain, Portugal and France, ma'am."
"Waterloo?" asked Bingley in amazement.
"Oh!" echoed Jane.
Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam, thus, initiated a long account of his whereabouts and his many painful circumstances while in France and Spain. His audience, save one, was enchanted, especially Mrs Bingley. All sort of onomatopoeias followed every story, and they went ohhh!, aghh!, ahhh!, hmmm! and eep! until he was finished.
"You have entertained us admirably, Colonel," said Jane. "You should think seriously about joining the clergy. You would excel from the pulpit."
They all laughed at the episode.
The rest of evening passed uneventfully, to an observer's eye. Yet Elizabeth's mind was in a commotion. Anxious, agitated, happy, feverish and full of dread as she was, Elizabeth's glowing cheek did not hide her innermost sentiments. The Colonel's manners and Darcy's smile soon did away with some of the unpleasant feelings. But still she was far from being at ease; nor could the incessant attentions of both Darcy and the Colonel reassure her. Nay, perverse as it was, she doubted whether she might have felt less, had she been less attended to. The Colonel's anxiety for her, his continual solicitations made it impossible for her to forget for a moment that he was suffering the unthinkable. She felt utterly unworthy of his respect, and knew not how to deal with him. Inwardly, her whole self was trembling dramatically. She had passed from spinsterhood to an intrinsic double engagement in a blink of an eye. Her situation was precarious to say the least. Yet, her confusion was not such that she could not discern one from two. Her feelings were distinctly different from one gentleman to the other. One of them was loved dearly, the other passionately.
Love Calls Again Page 30