Colonel Fitzwilliam coughed, and Jane averted her eyes in discomfort.
Elizabeth eyed them suspiciously while Darcy, albeit immersed in his own happiness, was not too distracted to fail to notice something amiss.
They were surprised to see Fitzwilliam's valet and some footmen carrying Fitzwilliam's things to a carriage.
"Going anywhere?" asked Darcy.
Jane's face fell. He was going! He must be repenting his action! Goodness! What was she to do?
Colonel Fitzwilliam hesitated. Then, he finally gave a laconic answer. "Yes."
Thirty-Three
—
The True Darcy Character
"Going anywhere?" asked Darcy.
"Yes."
"Is anything wrong?"
"No, I have decided to spend the night at my parents' house, if you do not mind. I have hardly seen them since I returned from the continent."
Darcy stared at him. He was baffled, not expecting his cousin's sudden departure.
"You do not need my permission, Fitzwilliam. Will you be travelling with us tomorrow?"
"Nay. I shall escort Lady Matlock and my sister. So, I shall be seeing you in church."
"Which reminds me… Will you please come with me to my study?"
"Of course." He then turned to the ladies. "Ladies. I shall see you at Longbourn in two days." He bowed to both of them, but his eyes lingered a little longer on Jane. She blushed slightly and hesitantly curtseyed while inwardly she struggled to control her distress.
The Colonel followed Darcy to his study. He found his cousin sitting behind his massive desk.
"Pray, do sit down."
"What is it, Darcy?"
"I wish you told me. Yesterday you passed from the brightest of humours to the darkest in a blink of time. You finished half my brandy after dinner and in the night went carousing. This morning you were in the highest of spirits again, we spent a wonderful time with your parents and sister, and in the evening you are gloomy again and leaving the house with a poor excuse. I confess I am a little distracted with my wedding and my fiancée, but not so distracted so as not to notice that something is the matter with you. Fitzwilliam, I only wish you knew you can count on me."
"I see."
"Will you talk to me?"
"I am afraid 'tis a bit complex, Darcy."
"I shall endeavour to pay more than the regular attention."
"Well, then." He paced slowly thither and hither until he halted in front of the decanter. Darcy gestured him to serve them both a glass of the precious drink and they sat to have a long conversation, tête a tête, in the sanctuary of the study.
"To cut a long story short, I… I am involved with an unsuitable woman."
"Unsuitable? Pray, can you make yourself more specific?" "She is… unavailable."
"Is that all? Simple as that?"
"So it seems. Yet, 'tis not quite so simple. I will speak plainly. The lady is herself married to someone of our acquaintance."
"Did I hear correctly?"
"You did. I am involved with a married woman, a lady of good name I am afraid, whom I fear I might hurt."
"Have you decided what you are going to do? 'Tis a very delicate situation."
"Indeed, it is. Still, 'tis nothing compared with Georgiana's confession."
"Georgiana's?"
"Are you ready to hear the most preposterous thing ever heard?"
"More so? What is it, for God's sake?"
"Be not alarmed, cousin. Preposterous it is, but hilarious it is also. Georgiana believes herself in love with me. Can you believe it? So she confessed to me upon returning from her shopping excursion. Yet, such was my befuddlement that I could scarcely think of anything else but to leave the house."
"She confessed herself thus?"
"She also said she had turned down several marriage proposals because she loves me only, and refuses to marry any other than me. She even proposed to me."
Darcy almost laughed at this.
"This is unbelievable. You laughed at it! I almost choked when she told me of her feelings. I thought you would be angry."
"With you? Why should I be? Did you do anything to encourage such feelings in my sister? You have hardly been in London for the last five years. How can she be in love with you? Nay, 'tis only a silly infatuation. Still, cousin, you must know the notion of a match between you two is not so strange to me. Lord Matlock has written to me to ask my opinion about it, should you wish to enforce your suit."
"I know. He has talked to me already. Even offered me his… support if I accepted. It seems he is quite concerned with Geoffrey's childless matrimony."
"I suppose you have declined his… offer of support."
"I have. Darcy. Georgiana is like a sister to me. I could never look at her in any other way."
"Of course you cannot."
"I am relieved you think so."
"I shall ask Elizabeth to talk to her. You must not worry. I am sure she shall overcome her feelings for you. As regards the other situation… I dare say I am astonished. I cannot find the words… 'tis quite unexpected."
"Indeed, I feel very much the same."
"May I be so bold as to inquire something? This lady you are involved with, is she happily married?"
"What difference does it make? Happily married or not, she is still married."
"Indeed it makes a big difference! Should she be happily married perchance she is immune to your charms."
Fitzwilliam stared at him and smirked meaningfully.
Understanding his meaning, Darcy scolded his cousin, "Man! Are not there enough unmarried ladies around for you to choose from?"
"Tell me Darcy. Were not you in love with a woman who was absolutely out of your reach? Did the fact that you were married make you pursue her any less?"
Before so blunt a reasoning, Darcy's argument against him was defeated. "You have a point there. I suppose you are right. I am sorry. Who am I to be your judge? But do you care for her, whoever might she be?"
"That I cannot say. All I know is I am enjoying myself and so is she. I might sound rather selfish to you. You see, I have never done anything like this, but when I see her I can barely think of anything else but bedding her."
Darcy coughed lightly. "I see."
"I am sorry. I have no one else to talk to of this."
"Never mind. I perfectly comprehend your feelings. But this situation cannot continue long, my friend. Otherwise, you are doomed, man."
"I thank you for your kind words."
"Are you being careful?"
"What do you mean?"
"She might get with child."
"She might. I have not thought of that. I have been a fool."
"At least take some precautions."
Colonel Fitzwilliam sent him an inquiring look.
"Oh, do not get me wrong! I have never… I merely read about it." He lied and his lie was written upon his face. "I sincerely wish you could find a better solution to it. You shall conquer this, you will see. Just let it be."
"I thank you Darcy. Honestly, you should not feel concerned for me."
" Fitzwilliam. I cannot be entirely happy if any member of my family, especially you, is unhappy. If there is anything I can do for you, let me know."
"You can be positive I shall. I thank you for your time, though. Go and enjoy your lady's smiles. She smiles too much for my taste now." This last line he said it between his teeth, yet Darcy heard it quite distinctively and wondered on what sort of a comment was that. Darcy knew Fitzwilliam had always admired Elizabeth. It was plain written on his face when he beheld it. Yet this was the first time he had ever hinted the notion to Darcy.
But he would not take offence at this point. Not a few days before the wedding.
"Oh, never too much, Fitzwilliam. But before you go, there is something more I wish to show you." He searched his desk for something, and finding it, he grabbed it and handed it over to Fitzwilliam. "Here. Take a look at this."
I
t was a letter. Fitzwilliam inspected the name scribbled on the parchment. It read George Wickham and was directed to both Darcy and himself. He spread the sheet of paper and was not surprised to read about Mr Wickham's gratefulness for Richard's timely intervention to save his life on the battlefield. But what did surprise him was what followed.
"He says he wants to pay you back the sum spent on occasion of his nuptials."
"He already has. To the last coin. Dowry and all."
"Well! That is a pleasant surprise! The man has redeemed himself."
"Not so hastily. I shall never forget what he did to Georgiana."
"And what is it exactly that he did to Georgiana? He merely wished to marry her. Perhaps he even loved her."
"He tried to elope with her! And she was only fifteen!"
"Fine, Darcy. I shall not argue about that with you. You were absolutely right to halt them. Still 'tis a good thing he has recognised his mistake and has taken steps to put a remedy to them, is it not?"
" Yes. I suppose it is. At least he seems to have recovered some of the honour my father taught him. Now Richard. Over to you again. Must you leave us now?"
"I think it is best if I do. Perchance it will help Georgiana reconsider her words."
"Well then. I shall see you in two days?"
"Two days. Longbourn. You can be certain I shall be there."
The Colonel left Darcy's house in a compleat befuddlement of emotions without looking back. He simply left, although everything that he cherished was left behind in that house.
On arriving at his parents' townhouse, Colonel Fitzwilliam did not expect to be confronted by his father. Still, Lord Matlock had a word or two to tell his youngest son.
"Good evening, son."
"Good evening, sir."
"I understand you quitted you cousin's house?"
"Yes. I wish to spend some time with Lady Ellen."
"Your mother will like that."
"So will I. Now I must go upstairs to rest. You must excuse me."
"Dinner will be served at eight today. We are expecting your cousin Georgiana to accompany us."
Richard paused before he answered his father. "Will you excuse me from her, then? I think I shall not come down to dinner. I am exhausted."
"I shall not do such thing. Your cousin has been invited to dinner with all the members of my family, until now, your mother and I. However, your coming back under my roof makes you part of it. You are no guest, so it is your duty to oblige and receive our guest."
"Very well, sir."
Georgiana arrived at the big townhouse with Mrs Annesley, but this latter was not to dine with the family, but with the members of the staff in a little dining room. Georgiana's turmoil after her cousin quit Darcy House had been great indeed, but her Uncle's invitation had soon done away with some of her unpleasant feelings. But still, she was far from being comfortable; nor could the incessant attentions of Lord Matlock himself entirely reassure her. Nay, perverse as it seemed, she doubted whether she might endure Richard's resentment.
Her tranquillity was not improved by Lord's Matlock's impatience for the appearance of his youngest son, nor at the displeasure he expressed of his laziness when Colonel Fitzwilliam at last came down. Georgiana was quite pained by the severity of his father's reproof, which seemed disproportionate to the offence, and much was her concern increased when she found herself the principal cause of the lecture; and that his tardiness was chiefly resented from being disrespectful to her. This was placing her in a very uncomfortable situation, and she felt great compassion for her cousin, without being able to rescue him from the reproof.
He listened to his father in silence, and attempted not any defence, which confirmed her inferring that the inquietude of his mind, on her own account, might be keeping him in distress. She soon grew annoyed with Jane Bingley, who, in keeping him long sleepless in the night, had been the real cause of his rising late to dinner. She scarcely heard his voice at dinner, so much were his spirits affected, she could distinguish nothing but these words, in a whisper to himself. "So much for a family reunion."
At last the clock struck ten and Georgiana must be taken back home. Lord Matlock asked his son to chaperone her.
To Fitzwilliam's surprise, the middle seat of the chaise was not drawn out, though there were three people to go in it, and Georgiana's companion was seated on the outside seat, with the driver. This was his father's doing, to press him to spend compromising time with his cousin. So much was he influenced by this apprehension that when he handed her in, he found some difficulty in stepping in himself. At last the door of the chaise was closed and they set out for Darcy House.
Georgiana's spirit rose as they drove from the door; for with Richard she felt no restraint.
"I am sorry to have caused you pain."
"You have caused me no pain."
"Will you not forgive me?"
"Forgive you?"
"Yes. I know I have insulted you."
"You have done no such thing."
Georgiana grabbed him by his arm and whispered softly, "Richard, I love you. I do not bear seeing you sad. Please smile to me." And she cupped his face in her hand, very slowly turning him towards her, and in a most sweet way endeavoured to kiss him, her eyes fixed on his lips.
Richard could not be lured into such an old trick. He knew all ladies' ways, and was amazed at his young cousin's arts to captive his attention. For a moment she almost caught him.
"Georgiana. You must put a stop to this nonsense. This is hardly tolerable," said he in a voice of great distress and annoyance, while he turned away his face without attempting to oblige her desire.
For a moment, she was absolutely indifferent to his observation, secluding herself from it in a determined silence whilst obliged to endure his presence. Her heart was hardened against the belief of Richard's contempt and lack of compassion. The cruelty of his language, however, unleashed a renewal of tears, which now streamed from her eyes with passionate violence.
Colonel Fitzwilliam's heart melted.
"Oh for God's sake, Sprout!" On seeing that this was only making things the more difficult, he softened his address and begged her to calm down. "I only wish there was anything I could do which might be of comfort to you."
From a puddle of tears, Georgina endeavoured to answer, but could not utter one syllable.
"Would you rather I went away?"
This, as everything else would have been, was too much for Georgiana, who could only exclaim in the anguish of her heart, "Oh Richard. Do not leave me. I am miserable indeed," before her voice was entirely lost in sobs.
"Georgie. I cannot hand you like this to your brother."
She flung herself into his arms and sank her face into his lapels, as she had done many times since she was a little girl.
"Why can you not love me?"
"I do, my girl. I do love you. Very much. It pains me to see you suffering. But I do not deserve your tears. You are my little sister."
"But I… love you, Richard!"
"Nonsense girl. You must exert yourself Georgiana, otherwise you will suffer and make all those who love you suffer. These feelings you harbour now will be of short duration, you will see. Much as you suffer now, think of what you would have suffered if the discovery of my feelings had been delayed till after our wedding. You said yourself you would only enter into matrimony under the spell of the deepest love. Would you wish otherwise for me? Would you be happy while I am not? Would you be content with a husband that feels brotherly affection for you? Would you not like to love and be loved, truly loved, and admired in return?"
"And you will never see me thus? Mine is a misery which nothing but your love can do away."
"I am sorry to hear you speak thus. You must not talk so, sprout. You are very young. I am the last man in the world worth having, cousin. And with your pretty face you must have many admirers very soon."
"No, no. I love you, and only you."
"Georgiana. I know you fe
el for me. I know what a heart you have, but yet you are, so young; the world is at your feet, child. You must be happy. You shall be happy, You will see."
"Do not pronounce me happy. I have nothing but grief. You have every reason to be merry for your lady loves you."
"Georgiana, be it that you were correct, I can have no pleasure while I see you in this state. Otherwise I must prevail you not to mention my supposed affection for any lady. Albeit 'tis all the work of your imagination, people's respectability could be ruined if you should insist in repeating it. I beg you. Pray, do it for me."
"By all the world I shall make no more mention of it. Yet, I must be wretched. I must feel mortified for I know it is true. You are asking too much of me. To appear happy when I am so miserable!"
The ride was short, for Darcy house was not very far from Lord's Matlock's townhouse. Richard alighted first and then helped his cousin.
"Good night, dear Georgie."
"Good night, Richard." and she very unchastely planted a feather kiss on his lips, finally getting away with her musing. She smiled mischievously and waved to him from the stairs.
Colonel Fitzwilliam smiled back and shook his head. What a child! Nothing he could say would persuade her out of her wish. She would not relent her pursuit so easily. After all, she had both Fitzwilliam's and Darcy's blood, too.
Thirty-Four
—
When a Man Loves a Woman
Until he finally met Miss Bennet, Mr Darcy's only concern had been his sister, for his former wife, he merely had held in his commiseration out of a sense of duty. Now, he knew he would have to divide his attention between the two most important women in his life. But he feared he would find it very difficult to be fair to his sister, for his regard was at present entirely focused on his bride.
He would watch his fiancée walk and pleasantly converse in the company of others, and felt the irresistible impulse to hear every word her lips would utter. He surveyed her progress in her needle work and found the whole task fascinating and even got to learn the many different ways in which needle and thread could be put at work.
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