by K. Walker
I didn’t look back. “Nothing.”
“Good. Bonfire party on the beach later. See you there, and wear something sexy,” he whispered.
Wear something…did he just order me to do something? Why does everyone feel the need to tell me what to do?
I froze when I saw Mr. Edwards looking back at me. Or him. I wasn’t doing anything. I nodded when he stopped looking, but I had already gotten a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
“See you there,” he said.
Why did everyone assume I would be compliant with everything? Or did they just always get their way and they wouldn’t accept anything else?
I suffered through the stares to my right all through the class so that I barely got my notes down. I was upset by the time the bell rang. I was taking up my purse when Chad breezed past me, knocking into my desk.
“Hey, Truman,” he called to a skinny kid who had been half way through the door.
The boy stopped, his back hunched and his eyes bewildered. He sniffled and rubbed his nose as Chad walked up to him. “Give it!”
I watched as the boy reached into his bag and took out his book. He handed it to Chad with shaky hands. “Now beat it, freak.”
“When can I get it back?” he asked in a trembling voice.
“When I’m done. You know the drill.”
His goons laughed as the boy nodded and hurried away, his notes that he had dutifully taken lost. And I was pretty sure Chad wouldn’t even read a word of it. I would hate him if he wasn’t so damned hot, and I found it hard to look away as he walked out the door.
“Don’t get pulled into their world,” Amanda warned as she stood. “Trust me, it never ends well.”
“I know. Same shit happens at all the high schools. It’s just probably worse here because there’s so much money flying around.”
“Tell me about it. But...” she said hesitatingly. “You wanna go to the bonfire thing later?”
I scrunched up my face. “Do I?”
“You don’t want to be the social pariah, do you?” She laughed. “Besides we usually hang at the bar and grill after school which is right down at the beach. Alexis works there, so…”
“Oh. I guess,” I said and shrugged. “Got nothing better to do.”
“Great,” Amanda beamed as we walked out into the halls.
“I have general music next,” I told her. “What do you have?”
“Ugh, biology, and I have the worst teacher, too. He can be such a hardass about labs and neatness and crap. My logs aren’t always the neatest, but I get them done. Shouldn’t that be what matters?”
I giggled. “Good luck.” We separated to meet after school.
Thankfully, the rest of my day went by uneventfully. I didn’t end up in any of the classes where either Chad or Callie were. I was squeezing my way through a throng that had gathered by the classroom door when I spotted Amanda.
“Hey, Amanda, wait up,” I called.
She stopped and smiled as she hugged her binder. “Hey. You all set? The girls are going to meet me in the parking lot. Alexi’s shift starts at three so she has to be there, like right now.”
“Okay. Let’s go then.”
It beat being home alone until Mom got back from work. Alexi, Liz, and Stacey were already waiting just inside the heavy doors at the front of the building when we approached.
“Come on, we gotta go now!” Alexi squealed. “Hey, Sophia.”
I nodded and walked behind them as they hurried through the door. It was a hot day, and I actually didn’t mind going to the beach.
“You want to go home and grab your bikini?” Amanda asked as she was about to beeline to her car. Her brown eyes were expectant, and radiated warmth and sincerity. I really liked her. She wasn’t fake and she didn’t have a hollow shell like most of the popular girls trying to impress or compete for top spot. It was so refreshing and reminded me of my girls back home.
“No, not necessary,” I told her. I knew I wouldn’t be getting into the water. I hadn’t since Rachel’s death and wasn’t about to start now. Too much emotion caught up in that event, and even more guilt.
“You got a ride?”
“Yeah, I do,” I replied. “What’s the name of the grill?”
“Madison Ocean Bar and Grill,” she replied. “But you can just follow me.”
“Okay. Sure.” I nodded.
I was in the going-along-with-everything kind of mood. All in all, it wasn’t the worst a first day could get.
Amanda walked off in the opposite direction from where I had parked, which seemed to be geek central. All the cool spots had been taken on the outskirts and under the trees. I dreaded the suffocating heat that would greet me inside my awaiting oven.
I was just about to step off when the door opened and I heard giggling. I turned to my right where Chad was exiting the building with a brunette on his arm. She was all smiles, and he stopped when he saw me.
He didn’t say anything, but he slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. She squealed when he did, seconds before he placed his lips on hers, while his eyes stayed on mine. I wanted to look away, but I felt magnetized.
She had that foot-popping move as her right foot lifted off the ground and she gripped his collar for support. He winked at me, breaking the spell, and I was free to look away. My heart raced, and I wasn’t sure why. It was high school – people kissed and made out in public all the time.
I turned and jogged down the steps on slightly wobbly legs. That was weird. Did he want me to see him kissing another girl? Why, though? Not like I cared.
I got to my car and pulled the door open. Inside was hot, but it was a relief from all the distractions outside. I immediately hit the AC button and placed my palms in front of the fan, awaiting the cool air that would stream from it in a second.
I looked for Amanda and saw her hand waving through the window of her red Chevy Malibu.
I honked and pulled out of the parking lot behind her. Chad’s car breezed past mine five minutes into the drive, but that wasn’t the last I would be seeing him that evening. There was no question I would see him at the bonfire.
I might leave before all of that excitement. I’d had enough for one day and I didn’t want to get sucked into their world too quickly. I just wanted to survive my senior year and get the hell out of there.
The car cruised along the road, and I turned the music on and started rocking to the sound of Sunflower by Post Malone. It didn’t take more than ten minutes for us to get to the beach, and we pulled into the parking lot just outside the sign that read Madison Ocean Bar & Grill.
I snorted as I watched Alexi bolt out of the car, knocking her foot into the door and hopping off to start her shift. Maybe I should get a job, too. At least it would be productive and keep me busy.
I got out of the car and slung my purse over my shoulder.
“Come on,” Amanda urged.
I looked around at the scene. The grill was on the edge of the strip alongside a row of shops. They all had thatched roofs, giving off a Hawaiian vibe. The bar had no walls, except the one separating it from the shop next door. Looking out at the beach was miles of white sand in both direction and blue-ocean. The scene was breath taking.
My stomach rumbled when I smelled the sweet smell of barbecued ribs or what not. I placed my hand on my stomach. “I could go for some of that,” I told the girls.
“Me, too,” Stacey agreed as she wandered over to my side and looped her hand through mine, giving off the same old-friend vibe Amanda had had in the cafeteria. “I’m starving.”
“I barely had any lunch. Just that one tuna sandwich,” I groaned.
“I bet. You should charge Callie and Chad for that…always the center of attention.”
Stacey rolled her eyes. “She doesn’t need your bitching now, Amanda. Let’s just get something to eat and go relax. I know I’m starving and need to feed my damn stomach, girl.”
Amanda’s face reddened for a second before
a smile lit up her face. “Fine. No more trash talk.”
Stacey leaned into me. “Let’s see how long that lasts.”
“I’m curious, though.” I turned to Amanda and stopped.
Stacey pulled me away. “I suggest you eat first.”
Liz, the apparently quiet one, laughed. “You’ll know everything soon enough.”
And I had no doubt about it as we made our way to the grill area, my stomach already in knots.
Chapter 4
The beach wasn’t crowded, so we got our grilled burgers and milkshakes in under fifteen minutes. Alexi was already busy drumming up cocktails for the expanding bar crowd now that school was out.
We found a table on the patio area and the four of us sat down with our meal. I looked out to the ocean, watching the surf and seagulls. The pier in the distant had several people walking in both directions.
“So, how was your first day?” Stacey asked. Her golden curls bounced on her shoulders as she bit into her burger and then stared at it like she had found a pearl inside.
“Okay, I guess, all things considered.” I bit into my burger and tasted heaven. I understood Stacey’s expression then. “Damn, this is good.”
“I know, right?” Amanda chimed in, her head bobbing as she turned her burger around and around, like she was conducting an investigation.
“Christ, just eat it already!”
Liz screamed, and a bit of bread flew out of Stacey’s mouth as she started laughing.
I laughed too and covered my mouth.
“She does this every time.” The annoyance in Liz’s voice was unmistakable, and Amanda’s cheeks colored.
“Sue me!” she spat, stuck her tongue out, and bit into the burger. She had the same ecstatic look as the rest of us as we laughed and finished eating.
I had to admit – I didn’t remember ever eating a grilled cheeseburger that good. “What do they put in this?” I asked and wiped the corners of my mouth.
“Secret sauce, maybe,” Stacey said with an air of satisfaction as she took another bite.
“Maybe,” I laughed, just as my phone began to vibrate in my bag. “Hold on.”
I reached into my purse and smiled when I saw Jan’s name. I turned slightly and covered my ear so I could hear her better over the crashing waves.
“Hey!”
“Hey, bitch!” she called into the phone.
“Hiii!!” I grinned when I heard the other girls shouting in the background.
“How was your first day in…wherever you are?”
Jan was one of my closest friends from Santa Monica High. I hadn’t seen her in weeks. She was a part of the volleyball team, too. “You know.”
“No, I don’t know,” Jan replied. “Meet any cute boys?”
I glanced back at the other girls sitting with me and slurping their milkshakes. “A few.” I blushed and turned my back.
“Ah, you little slut,” Jan laughed, and made me laugh too.
“I’m not. Excuse me,” I said to the new girls as I moved away. I wasn’t comfortable talking to Jan and Mel and the other girls with them listening. I knew how it could get.
“Hey, you still there?”
“Yeah, I was just moving to a better spot. Hanging with a couple of girls from school,” I explained as I walked onto the sand.
“What? You already replaced us?” Jan asked so loudly.
I giggled. “No, you idiot. But I can’t just not talk to anyone. They asked me down to the beach, and apparently there’s a bonfire thing later.”
“Geez!” Jan exclaimed. “Are you sure you just moved there?”
I kicked some sand and hugged myself with my free hand. “Yeah, can’t say I’m in love with the place, but it’s not so bad. So what’s going on over there? What did I miss?”
“Oh, nothing. Same old, same old. I’ll let you know when the drama starts.”
“Yeah, you do that.” I grinned. “Listen, I gotta get back. Kinda rude of me to be on the phone when I’m out with the new people, so I’ll call you back later.”
“Make sure you do that,” Jan fired back. “I really miss you, Sophia.”
“Me, too. Tell the girls hi for me,” I replied and blew her a kiss through the phone. “I’ll come down to visit one weekend.”
“You better.”
I slipped the phone into my purse and trudged back to the table. Only Liz was still there, slurping on her milkshake and reading something on her phone. “Where did everyone go?”
“To change,” she replied without looking up. “Are you going to?”
“Nah,” I replied, looking out at the expansive blue ocean. It still intimidated me. I knew the closer I got to it, the clearer I would hear Rachel’s voice calling out to me.
“I didn’t bring my bikini.” In fact, I had boxed them all after the accident and had it tucked away in the back of my closet—where they would stay.
“So what do you like to do?” Liz asked and cocked her head to the side.
“Oh, you know, the same thing most teenage girls like to do.”
“Do you surf?”
My heart leaped. “No,” I replied wistfully. “Not anymore.”
“Why not? Did something happen?”
“Hey!” Amanda hollered, her hands swinging in the air as she emerged from the bar area.
“Hey,” I answered quickly. I was glad for the distraction. I didn’t talk about Rachel with anyone. Not even Mom. She said it was unhealthy, but it worked for me. Talking only dug up painful memories I couldn’t make right.
She tossed her purse onto the chair, along with a bag she hadn’t had before. “I’m going to take a swim,” she said as Stacey walked up behind her.
“Have fun,” I called and turned to watch them run down the mini boardwalk and onto the sand.
It was close to five, and although not a weekend, it seemed Madison Falls loved to have a good time. The white sandy beach was filling with all sorts of people – working class, the young, the old, the fun-loving, and the lazy.
“I think I’m going to grab one of those chairs,” I told Liz and pointed to a row of beach chairs that lined the water’s edge.
I wouldn’t get in the water, but I loved being close to it, to hear the crashing waves, and to close my eyes and drift away on the salty air.
“Okay. Help me to grab some of these things,” Liz replied as she stood and started picking up the bags. I reached over and picked up the purses and walked off to find a chair. Luckily, there were a couple in a perfect spot. I was pretty sure there wouldn’t be any soon.
Or too much when the high schoolers found something more interesting to do after dark.
I lay back on the chair and stared at the water. The orange hue reflected by the soon-setting sun gave the ocean a beautiful backdrop. There were many reasons to love the beach and…
“Shit, it’s Chad,” I heard a panicked voice say behind me.
Chad? The Chad?
Instantly my senses became alert as I searched the beach for him. Maybe it was someone else. Surely there was more than one Chad in Madison Falls. The little throng walking in my direction told me it was the one and only.
“Ugh!” Liz groaned.
“How do I look?” the voice behind me asked again. I could almost see her pushing her breasts out of her bikini top. I felt a bump on my chair as she got up and breezed past me.
She was tall, slim, with long, wavy hair reaching down to the middle of her back. She glanced back at someone behind me, and her blue eyes flashed wickedly. She practically hurled herself into his path when he approached.
“Oh,” she exclaimed and clung to his arm. “I’m so clumsy sometimes.”
He grinned, and the muscles in his arm rippled as he held on to her hand. The tattoos I’d seen earlier danced on his threaded biceps, and perfect teeth grinned at her.
“No problem, sweetheart.”
“You’re Chad, right?” she asked.
I wanted to puke. He was hot. Okay, smoldering. But come on.
Really?
Liz must have seen the look on my face because she laughed. “I know. It’s so annoying.”
I leaned closer to her, painfully aware that the girl had company sitting behind me who could overhear our conversation. “Is it always like this?”
“You mean girls literally tripping over him wherever he goes? Pretty much.”
“But what about his girlfriend? That girl this morning in the cafeteria. Gwen, I think. Or the one I saw him kissing after school outside the main building?”
Liz pulled back and looked at me incredulously. “You think people like Chad only have one girl? Look,” she replied and inched closer, “he was with Callie for most of last year, but then right before summer he dumped her.”
I cackled at the juicy gossip. “No way. I knew something was up with her but damn! That can’t feel good for someone like her. She just looks too perfect.”
“‘Normal girls would probably be broken up about it. But Callie – trust me. She’s not normal or perfect, and she’s gunning for him. In her head, he’s still her man. Which means any girl who touches him, watch out!” Liz warned.
“So, who’s Gwen?”
“Just another girl he’s fucking. Flavor of the week.”
I laughed. “No kidding. She seemed to be more than that, but then, the way he dismissed her…I don’t know why they do this to themselves.”
“Beats me too.” Liz shrugged and leaned back again.
Chad and his boys all had surfboards. The waves were decent for a ride, and a part of me, the part way down deep, longed to go back into the water. I was just afraid to and every time I had tried to go in, I felt like I was drowning or suffocating. All I could see was Rachel’s face in the waves. It was something that I had accepted that would no longer be a part of me. I sighed to myself and continued to look out to the ocean like I was in a trance.
He didn’t see me, which was even better. But I had seen him. His damp sandy-blond hair was tousled at the top of his head and his chiseled body cut to perfection. It was heady, looking at someone of such beauty; he’d looked like he popped out of a damn H&M magazine with his square jaw, full lips, and bright green eyes. Jesus!