by Law, Kim
Twenty feet away, Betsy came into view, and Harper caught Nate’s eye, then very purposefully looked at Betsy. “Or maybe you can thank me. Might be that you could bunk with his favorite buckle bunny instead.”
Nate eyed the other woman—as well as the men whose attentions she currently held. “I seem to be missing the big buckle for a chance at that.”
“Then steal one from your brother. I guarantee that’ll bring her running.”
Nate’s attention immediately returned to Harper, and his scrutiny unnerved her. But when Nick’s name was announced, she forgot all about his brother and turned back to the arena. She stood motionless as Nick got settled on the bull. The animal was a caged ton of weight, clearly not wanting any part of being the entertainment tonight. The gate swung open, and Harper held her breath.
One . . . Two . . . Three . . .
Dang. That bull was vicious.
Four. . . Five . . .
She cringed as Nick’s head whipped back. Somehow his hat stayed on.
Six . . .
“How does he not dislocate his shoulder again?” she murmured.
Seven . . .
She shot a frantic glance at the clock.
Eight. The buzzer blared, and Nick jumped free.
Harper didn’t look away until the animal was steered from the arena. As the gate closed behind the bull, she heard a swoosh of air expelled from Nate, and glanced his way. “Never easy to watch, huh?”
Not that it wasn’t also as sexy as hell.
But instead of replying to her question, Nate’s eyes, so much like Nick’s, locked onto hers. “He told you about his shoulder?”
Oh. Had she said that out loud?
“Good ride tonight, Wilde.” Charlie Scott shook Nick’s hand. “We’ll talk more this coming week.”
“Call me,” Nick said.
His agent walked away, cutting through the cleanup crew, and Nick stood, hands in his pocket, watching the man go. He had a big decision to make, and the timer had started.
“What was that about?” Nate asked as he joined him.
It was Saturday night, and Nick had just earned a new championship buckle. And a potential new deal. “I got an offer,” he said. He snagged a bite of funnel cake from the plate in his brother’s hand.
“What for this time?”
“Ads, commercials, action figures.”
Nate whistled under his breath. “I assume this offer isn’t to stay with Montana Pro.”
“You assume correctly.”
“And they’re willing to invest that kind of dough before you ever sit on your first bull for them?”
Nick pinned his brother with a look. “Told you I wasn’t just good.”
He didn’t say anything else for several moments, instead letting it all sink in. He could turn down the offer and still decide to join the PBR later on. It wasn’t as if this were a do-or-die situation for continuing as a bull rider. But it was a onetime offer. That had been made clear. They wanted him as the next face of bull riding, and they were tired of waiting.
“What are you going to do?”
Nick shook his head. “I have no idea. But I have only until next weekend to decide.”
He picked up the bag that held his gear and turned from the departing crowd. Gabe and Jenna were there somewhere. But instead of finding his oldest brother, Nick’s gaze landed on a truck and trailer not too far away, and his thoughts veered away from his family. Harper was in that truck.
“I like her,” Nate said. Clearly he’d followed Nick’s line of sight. “She’s tough enough to bust your balls.”
Nick smiled as he thought about all the ways she and his balls had become involved over the weeks. “She has, too. Literally. Did I tell you she’s a helicopter pilot? God, she looks hot in the cockpit,” he muttered, getting sidetracked for a second. He glanced at his brother. “The first time she took me up, she laid us sideways. I almost cried like a baby.”
Harper saw them watching her, and when he took a deliberate chunk of funnel cake off Nate’s plate and lifted it to his mouth, the grin that broke across her face had those very balls of his tightening. She didn’t look at other men the way she looked at him.
“Geez, you have it bad.”
“I’m afraid that I do.” The truck pulled away, and Nick saw Gabe and Jenna over by the facilities.
“How did that even happen?” Nate asked as they moved in the direction of their brother.
“Beats the hell out of me. One minute I’m trying to get her to talk about her husband’s death, thinking that would help her.” He’d filled Nate in on the details of the accident. “And the next I’m not only having dinner with her parents but hoping I get an invite to come back.”
“You think this could be something?”
At the quietly spoken question, Nick’s heart squeezed. “Maybe,” he admitted. He still couldn’t believe the possibility of a relationship was even in his head, but over the last couple of days, the idea had played on repeat. “But to tell you the truth, she worries me sometimes. Kind of reminds me of . . .”
He couldn’t even bring himself to say it.
“Who?” Nate asked.
Nick shook his head, unwilling to go there. Harper was not like their mother. Not at all. But at the same time, the same insecurities he’d dealt with his whole life kept rearing their heads when it came to her. And that made him question everything.
He realized he was walking alone and turned back to find Nate standing twelve feet behind him. “You don’t mean Mom?” he asked. His features had turned hard.
“Not really like Mom.”
“Like Michelle?” His brother’s voice went cold.
“No. Of course not. Harper is a good person. You can see that.”
“Then what exactly are you saying?”
Nick swallowed. He wished he hadn’t brought it up. The very idea of one of them getting tangled up with another woman with issues similar to their mother was unconscionable. He should have kept his mouth shut and worked through his worries on his own.
“I don’t know, exactly,” he finally answered. He could tell Nate didn’t intend to let this go without an explanation. “She’s lost a lot in her life. That’s hurt her. Had her pushing the edge too much.” Though that part of her had calmed down some. When they’d gone over to Swan Valley for a hike the week before, she’d been fine taking the trail that was one step below the kill-yourself path. “She’s a physical person,” he told Nate. “And a huge risk-taker. And I worry.” And he felt like a class-A wuss for voicing his fears. “What if she hurts herself and I can’t do anything to stop it?”
The heat immediately cleared from Nate’s features, and his mouth turned into a slash. “Please tell me you don’t think you could have stopped Mom. Is that what this is about? You know everything she did was for attention.”
“Yeah, I know. But . . .” Nick paused but then decided to throw it out there. Maybe it was time Nate knew. “I saw her cut herself that day,” he said. “When we were five.”
Nick held his breath as he watched Nate process the words.
Then Nate’s shoulders sagged. “Christ, man. You saw her do that? You never told me.”
Nick shrugged. “Didn’t seem to be a need. I walked in on her, blade already buried in her finger.” His voice dipped. “I begged her to stop. But she only wanted me to go away. To keep my mouth shut.” He looked away from the too-knowing eyes that perfectly matched his own. “So I went away and kept my mouth shut.”
Nate didn’t say anything at first, just stared at him. Then together they began moving once again, closing the distance to Gabe and Jenna. But before reaching the others, Nate’s feet stopped. “You couldn’t have stopped it.”
But he should have been able to. “I know.”
“You also couldn’t have loved her enough to keep her from doing it in the first place.”
Nick didn’t respond. And it was embarrassing as hell that Nate understood that about him.
“It’s not just Harper’s riskiness,” Nick finally forced out. He wanted the conversation steered back to the present. “She keeps an emotional distance. A large one. She’s the epitome of independence. And she makes it clear that she doesn’t need or want my help.”
“And that’s a problem why? You telling me you want a needy woman now?”
Nick blew out a frustrated breath. “No.”
But he would prefer someone who needed him at least once in a while.
“You told her about the sheep,” Nate said. The words came out accusatory, and the subject change surprised Nick.
“We’ve been dating,” he defended. “People share things when they date.”
“But you shared a big thing.”
Yeah, the sheep had been big. Because that had been a turning point for him. He’d suddenly known how to get his mother’s attention. “So?” he questioned. He didn’t see Nick’s point.
“So don’t push her away now.”
“Who says I’m pushing?”
Nate shook his head as if disgusted with the man his twin had become. “You’re looking for excuses. I know you. If you shared the sheep with her, you’ve shared more. Which says she means something to you. And I don’t believe for a second that she’s like mom. You might have actually lucked upon a good one with her, so don’t be an idiot and blow it.”
“What are you, her cheerleader now?”
“I’m just the guy on the outside looking in. She cares about you. And yeah, maybe she’s not fully over her loss yet. Might be that she needs that emotional distance a while longer.”
“But I could help her get there if she’d let me,” Nick complained.
Nate smacked Nick on the side of the head. “Why would she let you? Didn’t you just tell me she’s the definition of independent? She needs to do this on her on. Give it time. You can’t worry this one to death like you’ve done your whole life.”
“I haven’t—”
“You worry about everything,” Nate interrupted. “You want to fix everything. To have everyone love and adore you. It’s why you love riding so much, isn’t it? Groupies, championships, commercials. They all come crawling to you.”
Nick stared slack-jawed at his brother. Nate was right. He loved the attention. He thrived on it.
He needed it.
“Good God,” he mumbled. “I’m just like our mother.”
“Oh, for Pete’s sake. You are not like her. Get over yourself, idiot.”
“Kiss my ass, moron.” Nick followed up his words with an elbow to Nate’s gut—a move that was only half in jest.
“Now’s as good a time as any.” Nate held his arms out to his side. “Drop ’em. I’ll plant one on you right here.”
Someone cleared their throat, stopping the two of them in mid pop-up fight, and Nick and Nate both turned. Gabe and Jenna stood there, Jenna’s eyes round.
“Daddy,” she whispered. There was dried ice cream circling her mouth. “Uncle Nick said a bad word.”
“Yes, he did, sweetheart.” Gabe scowled. “You two boys about through playing?”
“You can kiss it, too,” Nick said under his breath.
Jenna blinked up at the three of them, thoroughly intrigued, and Gabe took her hand and pivoted. “We’ll wait in the truck.”
After they walked away, Nick shot his twin a glance. And surprisingly, the fire that had flared so quickly between them was gone. What was left was a calmness Nick wasn’t sure he’d ever seen with his brother.
“Don’t push her away,” Nate repeated. “She’s good for you. Wait for her. And then be there when she needs you.”
Chapter Twenty-One
A soft moan drifted into the darkened room as Nick and Harper slowly moved together. He pressed lingering kisses above her ear, and without hesitation, filled her body with his.
After dinner with his family, Harper had invited Nick back to her house. He’d followed her over, then she’d taken his hand in hers and led him down the hallway and straight to the master bedroom. They’d been in there for nearly an hour now. Their lovemaking had been slow, and there had been no bells or whistles. Just him touching her and her touching him. And he knew that this was exactly where he wanted to be.
“Hurry, Nick,” she whispered against his neck, and he nodded. He was getting there, too.
He brought his mouth to hers, and he showed her without words what she meant to him. She clung, with both lips and hands, as he pushed them higher, her soft whispers of noise no louder than his low grunts. And as he neared completion, she opened the door and walked through with him. With one last thrust, they both crested. It was explosive, but at the same time, like tumbling down a mountain in slow motion. They rolled and bounced, and held each other, and when they finally landed at the bottom, they were out of breath and staring in awe.
After catching his breath, Nick gave her one last peck of his lips, and rolled to his side. He brought her with him. He didn’t want to let go of her yet.
They lay like that for several moments, neither saying a word, before Nick felt Harper drift off to sleep. Moving was the last thing he wanted to do, but he forced himself to get up long enough to dispose of the condom. The remaining light from the sunset was just about to fizzle out, so he left the bathroom light on and pulled the door almost closed. It provided a faint glow into the room, but not enough to disturb either one of them.
A couple of hours later, Harper stirred at his side, and Nick woke up. She turned a lazy smile up at him before pressing a quick kiss to his lips.
“You’re staying tonight,” she told him.
“I hadn’t been planning on going anywhere.”
“I just mean, you have to stay. Because if you go home, you’ll have to deal with your family.”
This made him chuckled. “I almost feel bad for making you be there tonight.”
“Ohmygoodness, that was the most uncomfortable dinner I’ve ever been a part of.” Her hand slid up his chest until one finger touched him just below the chin. Then she drew an invisible line along his skin, down to the dip in his throat. “But for the record, you didn’t make me go. I rarely do anything I don’t want to do.”
“I know. Thank you for going.”
“I’m actually glad I didn’t miss it. If ever I needed a reminder to be grateful for my family, even if they only mean well”—she gave a fake shudder—“all I have to do is recall tonight. I do feel bad for your brother, though.”
“Gabe?”
“Well, I feel bad for all of you for having Michelle as a sister-in-law. Good grief, she has a talent, and she’s honed it well. Make everyone as miserable as she is.” Harper stopped talking abruptly, and Nick glanced down at her. She grimaced. “But . . . does Gabe know he married your mother?”
“Right?” Nick shook his head in disbelief. “Who does that?”
“And then Nate . . .”
Nick held his breath when she brought up his twin’s name. “You like him, right? Because he likes you. In fact, we talked about you after we got back last night.” After returning to Birch Bay, Nick had stayed at the apartment with Nate. They’d had a good time hanging out, and Harper’s name had definitely come up more than once. Nick couldn’t seem to not talk about her.
“I do like him,” Harper confirmed. “I remember him from when you two were younger, when I thought you were both essentially the same. But I see the difference now. He’s a little more rough around the edges, but at the same time . . . sweet.”
“He won’t like you as much when I tell him you think he’s sweet.”
She laughed. “Yes, he will. He’s a softy like you. He just doesn’t know it yet.”
Nick snorted at Harper’s words. Nate would really not like hearing that. Yet Nick had every intention of telling him.
He shifted so he could better face Harper and took her hand in his. He kissed her palm as he thought about the offer his agent had presented to him. And not only about the offer, but about his dad being back in town. It was time to go h
ome. Get back to his own life. But he didn’t want to leave Harper.
Which meant, it was time to talk about the future.
“I think this could be something,” he said the words quietly, and then waited for her eyes to find his. “I want it to be something,” he added.
“But we’re . . .” She shook her head and a wrinkle of confusion crossed her brow. “We’re good like we are, Nick. We’re fun. Why change that?”
“I’m supposed to go home this week.” He pictured his small apartment, with the only personal contribution he’d added in the seven years he’d been there a few pictures of his two nieces. He didn’t want to go home. He didn’t want that life anymore.
“Butte’s not that far away,” Harper pointed out. “If you want to continue this, I can come see you once in a while. In fact—”
“I want marriage.”
Her mouth snapped shut.
“I want a family, Harper. I didn’t know that before, but things have changed for me since I came home. I want more than riding bulls.”
That was not happiness he saw in her eyes. “And you think you want that with me?”
“I think I might. You’re special to me. You’re the only woman who’s ever made me think about kids. About growing old with someone.” He kissed the tips of her fingers and ignored the fact that her shoulders had gone tight and that she’d already pulled a couple of inches away. “I’d like to see where we can go.”
She looked away from him then. In the tight quarters of lying together, there wasn’t much space to avoid each other, but she did an excellent job of it nonetheless. Her gaze locked somewhere above his head, and sadness filled her face. Nick’s heart began to break before she ever opened her mouth.
“It can’t go anywhere, Nick.” She swallowed. “My chance for happily ever after was with Thomas. He was my love.” She closed her eyes. “And I don’t want kids.”
Though her bluntness about Thomas burned, Nick held on to hope. She was just scared. He had to make her see that Thomas didn’t have to be her one and only.
“People get second chances, Harper. And I don’t believe for a second that you don’t want kids. You have a room you’d intended to be a nursery. You’re amazing with children. Jenna fell in love with you on the spot.”