by Lane Cossett
“Good morning, Mrs. Bennet,” greeted Charles Bingley with his customary cheerfulness as Mrs. Hall showed him into the parlour.
Mrs. Bennet bestowed upon him one of her brightest smiles. “Mr. Bingley. Good morning. I hope I find you in good health?”
“You do, madam,” said Mr. Bingley cheerfully.
“And have you not brought Mr. Darcy with you this morning?” she asked.
Elizabeth hid a smile. Mrs. Bennet had a deep dislike for Mr. Darcy. Indeed, she was a little afraid of him. Elizabeth knew despite her question her mother would be very pleased that Mr. Bingley had called alone.
“Mr. Darcy has a great deal of business to attend to, ma’am,” said Mr. Bingley, “though he spoke of taking a walk later along Cottingley Lane.”
Mr. Bingley stared at Elizabeth as he spoke, and she realised that he was trying to tell her something. She gave a small smile and nodded, hoping that neither her mother nor sister had noticed.
“Well, I am sorry he is not here,” lied Mrs. Bennet, “but Mr. Bingley, you are most welcome as always. Now I did want to talk to you about the wedding…”
“Thank you ma’am. Perhaps we could discuss it later. It is such a lovely day, I thought we would go for a walk. Miss Elizabeth and Miss Kitty could accompany us.”
Elizabeth was not listening. She was busy wondering how she was going to leave the house.
“Elizabeth! Elizabeth!”
Elizabeth was startled. Mrs. Bennet was glaring at her. “Mr. Bingley and Jane are going or a walk. You and Kitty should accompany them.”
For a moment she could not think what to say. She knew Mr. Bingley was offering her a chance to speak to Mr. Darcy, but none of them knew that her father had forbidden her to leave the house. If Jane knew the truth she would be very distressed, and she did not want to involve her sister.
“I’m afraid I can’t, I have to reply to this letter of Charlotte’s.”
Mrs Bennet looked surprised. “That can wait.”
Elizabeth remained firm. “No, it can’t, mother. ”Kitty can go.”
Both Mr. Bingley and Jane looked puzzled at her refusal, but she only hoped they would accept what she was saying. She longed to meet Mr. Darcy. She was worried that he might believe that her feelings were not as strong or him as she had declared them to be.
“Lizzy I think it is very selfish of you,” grumbled Mrs. Bennet.
“Lizzy should not go if she does not wish to,” said Jane slowly. “Kitty I am sure will be willing to accompany us.
Kitty wasn’t pleased at all. She did not want to spend her time walking behind Mr. Bingley and Jane with no one to talk to.
While Mrs. Bennet and Kitty were busy arguing Elizabeth took the opportunity to slip from the room. She went to find Mrs. Hall. The housekeeper was in the outer barn showing Sarah one of the maids to hand flowers that had just been picked for drying.
As soon as she saw Elizabeth, Mrs. Hall gave instructions to Sarah to carry on with tying and hanging the flowers and followed Elizabeth out into the garden.
“What is it, Miss Elizabeth?”
Elizabeth did not try to prevaricate. “Mrs. Hall, I must speak to Mr. Darcy just one more time and I need your help.”
The housekeeper drew Elizabeth even further away from the house. They stopped under the shade of one of the apple trees in the orchard. She spoke in her normal calm manner. “I have been thinking about what you told me, Miss Elizabeth and it is not like the master to act in such a fashion. Naturally it is not my business to question his decisions and I will not speak against him. He has always been very good to me.”
Elizabeth did not want to put the housekeeper in a difficult position, but she had no one else she could turn to. “I need your help,” she repeated quietly.
Mrs. Hall indicated a seat and the two went and sat down together. For a moment she said nothing, staring into the distance. Then she sighed and turned to Elizabeth, her dark blue eyes glistening with what suspiciously looked like tears.
Elizabeth was intrigued.
“Many years ago, Miss Elizabeth, I once went against my father’s wishes. I was a girl, not much older than you and I thought I knew what was best.”
“What happened?” asked Elizabeth, surprised at this sudden revelation.
Mrs. Halls eyes had a dreamy expression about them. “My father found out and he was very angry. We became estranged and even on his deathbed he refused to acknowledge me as his daughter.”
Elizabeth was shocked. It occurred to her she knew about the woman who had run Longbourn since she was a child. “That must have hurt.”
Mrs. Hall nodded. “It did, Miss Elizabeth. I never really got over it.”
Elizabeth was curious. “The thing that you did… when you went against his wishes. Did you regret it?”
Mrs. Hall gave a small smile. “No, I didn’t, Miss Elizabeth. Oh, I regretted that I could no longer see my family, but I had no other regrets.” The housekeeper sighed deeply and she looked directly at Elizabeth. “But I do not want a similar thing to happen to you.”
“I just need to speak to him, to say goodbye,” said Elizabeth quite truthfully. “He is waiting for me along by Cottingley Lane.”
Mrs. Hall patted her arm. “Let me speak to the master. I cannot say that he will listen to me. He might be so cross I will lose my job.”
Elizabeth looked aghast. She could not let that happen even though she was desperate to speak to Mr. Darcy. “You must not do it.”
Mrs. Hall laughed. “Don’t you worry. Your father and I have known each other for years. It will not come to that, I promise you. Go and get your bonnet. I will meet you in ten minutes.”
Elizabeth hugged the housekeeper. She watched as Mrs. Hall hurried back into the house. She could not imagine what she would say to her father. She only hoped her mother was not looking for her and thought she was in her room writing to Charlotte.
12
Elizabeth was just putting on her bonnet when Mrs. Hall joined her with a basket. “I have some things to collect in Meryton,” she explained as they left the house. “I told your father that it was not good for you to be shut up in the house and I have enough to do without you falling ill. I said you would be with me.”
Elizabeth wanted to hug the housekeeper, but she brushed away her thanks and as they walked they talked of other matters, the nice weather, the vegetables Cook had recently pickled and the piece of lace Elizabeth was thinking of buying. Anything to stop her from thinking about Mr. Darcy.
At last they came to the end of Cottingley Lane. Elizabeth’s heart started to beat faster. He would be waiting for her. She looked at Mrs. Hall. “Are you coming with me?”
The housekeeper shook her head. “No, my dear. This is something you must do alone. I will be back here in one hour. You must be here.”
“I will,” said Elizabeth. She dropped a kiss on the housekeeper’s cheek. “Thank you.”
Mrs. Hall looked embarrassed. “Get away with you. You have not a minute to waste.”
Elizabeth hesitated no longer, and she hurried up the path. It was steep and there were stones littering her way among the dirt and grass, but she knew it well and despite her excitement made her way carefully upwards. As she approached the top, she could see a tall figure standing near a tree. It could be no one but Mr. Darcy. For a moment she stopped. She could hardly breathe. Her eyes filled with tears. She had thought perhaps she would never see him again. She quietly admonished herself for being so feeble and she impatiently brushed the wetness from her eyes. Fixing a smile on her face, she hurried towards him.
As soon as he saw her he started to walk towards her. “This was Bingley’s idea,” he said when there was only a yard between them, “but I did not know if you would come.”
“I have only an hour,” explained Elizabeth, sounding breathless. “Mrs. Hall helped me. My father thinks I am in Meryton.”
“I would have come to the house,” said Mr. Darcy, “...but it was…”
His wretched expression tore at her heart. “My father told me that you are no longer welcome at Longbourn. I am sorry.”
She wished they could throw all caution away and he could pull her into his arms. She knew it could never happen, but at that moment she yearned to feel him close. Seeing him, being with him just for a short time was going to hurt more than she thought.
Mr. Darcy sighed. “It is a great sadness that we cannot marry.”
“Are you sad?” asked Elizabeth.
Mr. Darcy frowned. “Do you doubt it? Did I not make it clear how much I love and adore you? If I did not, then I am sorry.”
A feeling of relief flooded through her. “I could not sleep last night, and I thought it was a dream. I thought perhaps you had changed your mind about marrying me.”
“And you would believe I was so fickle?”
Elizabeth tried to hide her pink cheeks. “No, I do not. It was my father, he seemed to imply…”
She stopped speaking. She was not sure she wanted to repeat what her father had said.
Darcy had no such hesitation. “Your father implied I was not to be trusted.”
Elizabeth nodded. “Yes, he did. I told him he was mistaken. I told him what you had done for us.”
“Miss Elizabeth!” Darcy’s tone was a little sharp and she jumped in surprise.
She hastily explained why she had told her father the truth. “I know, you did not want anyone but my dear aunt and uncle in London to know what you did, and I would have kept quiet if it had not been for this. I wanted father to know what a debt we owe you.”
“You should not have told him.” Mr. Darcy was frowning. “None of you owe me anything. If it had not been for my pride, you would have known about the true character of Wickham, and your sister would never have been so entranced by him.”
“It does not matter. I do not want to think of them.” They started to walk, hidden by the trees. Elizabeth thoughts turned back to their own predicament. She had thought when she saw Mr. Darcy he would be able to offer her a reason why her father had forbidden them to marry. “I do not understand it. Why would he refuse you?”
“I do not know, but I assure you there is nothing in my past or anything in my present which your father could disapprove of.”
Elizabeth believed him. It wasn’t just what he had done for her family, she remembered when she had visited Pemberley and Mrs. Reynolds his housekeeper had talked about him, speaking of his good nature and character. Her father was mistaken, she knew he was.
“And what can we do?”
Mr. Darcy slapped his walking cane against his boots. “I do not know. I want to ask you to wait, but it is unfair of me to do so.”
Elizabeth was impatient to marry, but it pleased her to know that his feelings for her and his desire for them to marry was unchanged. “I do not think father will change his mind. It is most odd. I have never known him to be so stubborn about anything.”
Mr. Darcy’s brow was furrowed as he thought on what she had said. “There must be a reason for his refusal and I cannot think what that is apart from perhaps he wants you to marry someone else.”
Elizabeth looked at him in surprise. Her father had always joked he would never let her go. “But there is no one,” she said.
Mr. Darcy looked down at her. “But there was once,” he said quietly.
Elizabeth suddenly remembered the conversation from the night before. What must he be thinking of her?
“It was Mr. Collins,” she said.
Mr. Darcy’s eyebrows shot upwards. “Mr. Collins?”
Elizabeth nodded.
“You mean that odious reverend who hangs on every word that my aunt says?”
“Yes. That Mr. Collins,” said Elizabeth trying not to smile at his indignant expression.
“And you refused him?”
Elizabeth laughed. “Yes, I did. He was extremely annoyed at the time, but not for very long, as the very next day he proposed to my good friend, Charlotte Lucas.”
“I like Mrs. Collins. She is a brave woman to have accepted.”
“Indeed. But in truth she makes him far happier than I would ever have done so.”
“I will always be thankful that you did not marry him and you agreed to marry me,” said Mr. Darcy.
“And I.” Elizabeth stopped and looked around. It was such a beautiful day. As she looked down at the sun, catching the roofs of the houses, some men working in the fields, the sound of the birds, she thought the hamlet had never looked more beautiful. It was a complete contrast to the turmoil that she felt inside.
“My dear Miss Bennet…”
Elizabeth gazed up into his dark eyes and she felt a tightening in her chest. Looking at the man she loved reminded her of how much she was losing because of her father’s intransigence.
“Will you wait for me?” His voice had softened.
She wanted to with all her heart, but it was not fair to him. He had to think about his future and the future of Pemberley. “I do not think father will change his mind…” she said slowly.
“None of us can be sure what might happen in the future. Whatever reason has caused your father to be against me might alter and I would like to think … I would hope if it did that you would still want to be my wife.”
A warm glow seeped through her. She confided what was uppermost in her mind. “I thought perhaps you would want to withdraw your offer, sir, and seek a wife elsewhere.”
Mr. Darcy’s eyes narrowed, and he suddenly looked offended at her words. “Miss Bennet, when you agreed to be my wife, my heart was filled with joy. No one could ever fill your place. I will wait. However long it takes. I will wait.”
Embarrassed by the depth of his love, Elizabeth hastily brushed at her eyes. The tears were threatening to fall down her cheeks. She was moved more than she could say. “I must go.”
Mr. Darcy reached out and caught her hand. A tremor ran through her fingers, her palm, up her arm and through her body. Her heart started beating faster. The sensation was exquisite, and she saw the longing in his eyes. He leaned slightly towards her. “Miss Bennet, I want to…”
Elizabeth pulled her hand away. “Goodbye, Mr. Darcy…” she turned away and picked up her skirts, starting to walk as quickly as she could. Something suddenly occurred to her. She had not given him her answer. She stopped and turned around. He was still standing there, a tall imposing presence partially shielded by the oak tree.
“I will wait for you,” she called. She didn’t wait to see if he heard her. She turned and headed down the path to where she had left Mrs. Hall, fighting back the tears.
13
Darcy had never thought of himself as a sentimental man and yet the pain in his chest at being parted from Miss Bennet hurt him almost more than he could bear. When he’d held her tiny hand in his, he’d almost begged her to come away with him. He’d told Bingley that he would never try to tear her away from her family, but as he had looked into her brown eyes, with their flecks of hazel and seen the love and desire within them, he had almost thrown caution aside and asked her to leave with him there and then.
He walked slowly back to Netherfield. Bingley had offered to lend him another horse, but after his foolish behaviour and causing a horse to go lame, he had said that he would walk.
He was grateful to his friend for arguing that he should not leave without seeing Miss Bennet. He had not doubted his love for her but having her in front of him had confirmed how much she meant to him. He could not just accept what Mr. Bennet said. It made no sense. There had to be a reason for it. Surely he had to be a more suitable suitor than Mr. Collins? He could not believe the cheek of the man to offer marriage to Miss Bennet.
Darcy continued to walk. The countryside towards Netherfield was very green and surrounded by woods. It was a pleasant enough landscape, but he did not believe there was anything in Hertfordshire to match Derbyshire. Nowhere was better than Derbyshire.
Darcy suddenly smiled at himself. Miss Bennet would no doubt disagree wit
h him. She had often taken perverse pleasure in taking a contrary view to his and although at first he had disliked it, he now recognised how good it was to speak to someone who did not merely defer to him because of his social standing.
He was still deep in thought as he returned to Netherfield. As he entered the grounds through the south gate and walked towards the house, he saw a carriage coming up the drive. He stopped where he was, watching as the carriage came to a halt. Bingley had visitors.
Darcy inwardly groaned as he saw the three people who had disembarked. It was Bingley’s sisters and his brother-in-law. Darcy was very fond of his friend, but he did not like Bingley’s relatives any more than he did Miss Bennet’s. He carried on across the lawn. He would not be able to avoid them, but he was not in the mood for conversation and now that he had seen Miss Bennet he needed to make preparations to leave Hertfordshire. It was too painful to stay so close when his marriage plans had been halted. They had taken the risk to meet, but it was not something they could do again.
As he crossed the grass Miss Bingley spotted him immediately. “Mr. Darcy. What a pleasant surprise. Charles did not tell us you were here.”
Darcy fixed a smile upon his face and walked towards them.
“Miss Bingley. My visit was brief. I will shortly be leaving.”
Caroline Bingley’s face fell. “Oh, Mr. Darcy. That is disappointing. Louisa, is that not disappointing?”
“Indeed it is,” agreed Mrs. Hurst, who was adjusting a feather on her bonnet. “Is Georgiana with you?”
“No, she is in Derbyshire and it is there I return.”
“Oh, what a pity,” said Miss Bingley. “How I do miss her. It is so very long since we have seen her. You must hurry back soon and bring her with you.”
“He will be here for the wedding, Caroline,” said Mrs. Hurst.
“Oh, yes, the wedding. How could I have forgotten?”